Strike a Note
by SuperSillyStories
Summary: Alex Jones is quite the...interesting woman. Now she has a job as the guitarist for Big Time Rush. Can she tolerate this interesting group of men, or will she quit her job and say so long? Terrible summary, story will be better though. M for language
1. Noisy Neighbors

**(This has been sitting in my documents since about September,….I don't know when I'll update this, but I just had to put it out there. This will be one of my fuck around stories**

**Guys. Somebody has to stahp me with the ideas here. I got such logan feels watching one of their concerts, idk, I'm such a logan girl. Someone slap some sense into me!)**

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Ugh….I feel like my spine could break. Moving is absolutely terrible, they should honestly pay people to do this sort of thing for you—okay well they do. They do in fact pay people to do this, I am just too much of a cheap bastard to pay people to do it. So of course it took way too many terrible trips with the truck but I got all of my boxes here successfully and brought them upstairs little by little. Christ. It's a great thing that this building has more than one elevator or the lazy people that live here would be thoroughly fucked over. I mean thoroughly like….bent over the bathroom sink type of fucked over.

Okay, so I'm a little graphic with my descriptions, my apologies.

By the time I had the last few boxes in the elevator it was four in the afternoon and I was _dripping_ in sweat. It was disgusting. Yeah, a tank top and shorts and I'm still disgustingly sweaty, no one is safe from moving pains, it hurts you, and makes you sweat like a sumo wrestler walking up a flight of stairs.

Sigh.

I was pushing the boxes out of the elevator and groaned when my back cracked in a sickening way. I shook my head and continued to push them down to my door.

"Hey do you need help with that?" I heard a voice behind me ask.

"No thanks I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Cause we—"

"It's good, thanks though." I waved him off without turning around. What? I'm not giving some…creepy pervert the time of day to help me move in my boxes. First of all, if he was cute, I look like a sweaty, smelly, awful mess! Second, do you know what happens with that? They get all the boxes in your apartment, lock you in your bedroom and take some of your stuff with them. I learned that the hard way. Granted it was in New York and it as my very first apartment ever in a not so nice neighborhood….STILL! Lesson learned, you don't accept help from strangers, because strangers present danger.

Jesus Christ, I sound like a kid's show.

"Uhh…okay then….welcome to the building." He mumbled and I heard a door close. Okay, maybe I was a _bit _rude. Maybe, but it's fine, I just have to unpack… everything.

Okay, so maybe I should mention _why_ exactly I'm moving. Well, originally as I said before I'm from New York. I'm actually a musician, I like to think of myself as a rock star but that's only when I'm home alone rocking out to my AC/DC CD trying to act like Angus Young. Anyways, I'm Alex Jones. Some people call me Lex, Al, AJ, whatever they think of…. Oh and I professionally play guitar for a living, which is pretty cool. I don't have to be a groupie! I get groupies! Well...okay I really don't get groupies because well….my face isn't all that famous. I've been on maybe two tours and that was just as fill in. I'm usually just the person that does the guitar tracks for random artists that need it. But! That's changing! I recently got signed on to be the permanent guitarist for some band called Big Time Rush out here in LA. This is great for me, I've been dying for a steady job and this is just the quick fix I needed.

Honestly I'm kind of an asshole though. I made up some bullshit that I listened to the band and thought they were great, but I really didn't.

What? I needed a job!

Anyway, I should probably get around to listening to their music at some point. Or at least googling who the fuck they are so I don't seem like a total dick in front of them all. I mean granted, I can act like a big bitch but I'm trying to tone that down. According to my best friend, if I keep it up, I'll have spider webs in my vagina for the rest of my life, and I'll birth the Arachnos from Doctor Who. Very sweet if you ask me… So yes, I'm trying to be a bit nicer and more…calm and less sarcastic, but as you can see I haven't done a good job of that.

I groaned and flopped down on the sofa that was delivered by the furniture company. Since I knew I was moving in advance I had my new sofa and other new furniture I had bought delivered. At least I didn't have to build a bed frame…. I unpacked the stuff for the bedroom first as quickly as I could. After putting away all of my clothes and setting up the bed I went to the living room, hooked up the TV by myself and sat down in front of the sofa. Seven o'clock….

I feel like it's four in the morning but I know it's not, that's just how tired I am. I took out my phone and searched for a few take-out places nearby. Luckily for me there happens to be a diner a couple of blocks away, and they happen to do online ordering. Sweet, I love not calling people to place my food orders. It's really so much easier, and I don't have to feel terrible if they have an accent that I can't understand. I ordered myself waffle fries and a meatball sub before ripping open the boxes for the bathroom and jumping into the shower.

Don't judge what I eat, I did so much lifting today I will wake up about as built as the Incredible Hulk.

I pulled on a new tank and shorts and wrapped my hair in a towel before going to the living room to continue unpacking my belongings. Once that doorbell rang I was at the door so fast I believe I could probably be an Olympic runner. Well no I can't…but it felt like I went that fast. I ripped it open, grabbed my food, paid, said thanks, and sat down on the sofa so quickly that I didn't even remember doing all of that. I absolutely destroyed my food. It was gone so quickly that I was a little sad, but that's fine…I'll order more if I really want to.

After dinner I continued to unpack the living room until it was getting late. I just felt exhausted and I couldn't do it. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was already eleven. I sighed and kicked one of the boxes out of my way as I walked to the bedroom and jumped into the nice cozy bed. As soon as I closed my eyes I was sure that I was going to pass out immediately, but there was a banging on the wall and I couldn't stand it. I groaned and turned over covering my ears but I could hear more banging and laughter. I got up, slipped on my flop flops and marched out of the apartment and down the hall to the one next door. I banged on the door and crossed my arms over my chest waiting for someone to answer.

Lo and Behold, the door magically opens and standing there is some brunette dude with killer dimples. Huh, well… I feel a little bit uncomfortable now marching here in a tank and shorts.

"Can I help you?" He asked, still chuckling from something that was going on behind him.

"Yeah I live next door and I don't know about you guys but I enjoy sleeping and I happen to need it very much…so if you guys could stop you know…banging on the wall or whatever you're doing that would be really appreciated." I nodded as I spoke and he made an 'oh' face.

"Yeah sorry we're just uh, not used to people living next door so…"

"That's fine just...please stop the banging, it's right next to my bedroom."

"Yeah sorry uh…have a good night."

"You too." I walked away and went back to my apartment. Hm, I think I came off a bit….bitchy about the whole situation. But you know, don't' fuck with me when I'm sleeping! It means a lot to me and by god if I could sleep for a whole week straight I really believe I would. If it was possible, but I'd probably spend just an entire week staying in bed, only leaving for food and bathroom breaks. Ah, that would be the dream. So, I crawled into bed and was satisfied to find that they had stopped the banging

Until half an hour later.

Those mother fuckers.

* * *

I slept terribly. I wish someone told me that male laughter could travel through walls, I would have invested in surgery to rip my ears out. Ugh, pisses me off….what's so hard about shutting the fuck up at night? Anyways, after waking up incredibly angry in the morning I realized my dumb ass did not buy groceries yesterday. So today, Alex Jones does not eat breakfast! I showered and sighed, fighting the urge to punch a hole through the wall. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans, flats, a ruffled tank and a cardigan. Have to look somewhat presentable after all, I'm supposed to meet the band today.

So, I hopped in my truck with my baby, my sexy acoustic electric Takamine, I named it Scarlet, she's a hot bitch. Anyways I went through the drive through and got some coffee and a muffin from Starbucks. For the whole car ride I was listening to Big Time Rush on the iPod so I could you know….know what they sound like and not be an asshole that doesn't know them. By the time I got to the studio I finished the muffin so I walked in holding my guitar and coffee in hand. After being buzzed in I walked inside to see Dimples from last night! Oh, great…wait.

Waaaaaait a minute here…

"Ah, Alex right on time, come on let me introduce you to the band." Michael, their manager walked over to me and gave me a small hug before guiding me over to the four gentlemen, one of them being Dimples. So….was it the four of them being complete assholes last night? Oh this shall be interesting.

"That's Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, aaaand Logan Mitchell."


	2. Interesting Bunch

**(layla.595- I hope it's entertaining! This is going to be a lot of uhhh…probably the way I think of things, and lots of ridiculousness, do I add drama? Don't know, still thinking of the general plot lmao.**

**Ashley- thanks! I hope you enjoy this.**

**Some people say I CAN use their real last names, others say I can't...i know you can't..but hte ones that do use their last names don't get taken down so i'm extremely conflicted...i'm just going to use the TV show names... thanks )**

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**Logan's POV**

Huh, well isn't that interesting? The bitchy hot girl next door is in fact our new guitarist. Well, funny how things just seem to work themselves out now don't they? As Michael introduced us I took a minute to look her over—again. I don't know how long her hair is because it's picked up in a ponytail, but it goes a little past the shoulders in a high ponytail, not bad, plus it's a dark brown with front bangs, looks cool. Her eyes seem to be a really dark brown, they look black it's kind of freaky. Her body isn't bad either, I mean I saw more last night but she dresses well I'll give her credit.

"…aaaaand Logan Mitchell." She nodded and smiled, shaking each of the guy's hands before shaking mine, and I could tell part of her was feeling pretty awkward. I shook her hand and smiled at her. Huh, so our guitarist is a hot girl next door. This could be interesting…

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**Alex's POV**

Logan keeps fucking staring at me and it's the weirdest thing. Like shit you would think that I had no bra on and was wearing a white button down blouse during a rain storm while running. Yeah, I know, that's an incredibly graphic image of a dumb woman refusing to wear a bra but they seem to love to do that for old horror movies, so yeah, enjoy that in your mind. I'm pretty positive I didn't spill coffee on myself because I would have burned my dumb self, and I know I'm wearing a bra, it's not cold so my nipples aren't showing, so I really don't understand what the fuck he's staring at. Whatever, after greeting the guys and introducing myself Michael continued to speak.

"So Alex why don't you talk a little bit about yourself?"

Oh well fuck I guess I'll just continue speaking now won't I?

"Alright well um…what's up guys? I'm Alex Jones uhh, pretty obvious one here but I have a hidden talent…I can play guitar." I noticed James and Logan chuckle and shake their heads while Kendall and Carlos just glanced at their friends. Huh, I guess those two have a similar humor to mine, well maybe. "Uh I've toured with Forever the Sickest Kids and The Academy Is as a replacement." Kendall's eyes lit up, hmm, I guess he likes their music. "I've done guitar tracks for a couple of artists, Carley Rae Jepsen I did that incredibly hypnotic song." Carlos started laughing, alright then, I've found something that satisfies all four of them, great. "I've worked with Adele and a little bit with Taylor Swift. Oh! My guitar is named Scarlet, she is my baby and I'm very particular about her, I would definitely harm someone that hurts my child." I find it's always nice to end an introduction on a threatening note, that way they don't think you're a little pushover or something. I mean come on, its four guys here, a total sausage fest of bro-ness. I have a feeling they'll initiate me by throwing me in tar and feathering me.

"Great so you guys mingle a bit I'll go see if the room is ready." Michael then left me alone with four dudes who I have never once met before. The four of us glanced at each other until Logan decided to speak.

"So you're the one that lives next to me."

"Great observation, that is in fact me." I nodded and James snickered and chuckled.

"OHHH that's you?" Carlos made a face as though he felt bad about something. "Sorry we were loud last night—"

"….Wonder what you guys were doing." I muttered under my breath which caused the four of them to laugh. Christ I feel like a comedian, now I know what occupation to fall back on.

"Nah nothing gay, not yesterday at least." James smiled and draped his arms around Kendall and Logan. Kendall curled into him pretending to be in love while Logan just held back a laugh and shook his head staring away. "We were just screwing around—wow that was gay. Okay we were just joking around with each other so we got a little carried away."

"Oh no…have fun…have sex do what you gotta do just don't…you know, disturb my sleep. I happen to enjoy my sleep very much, I worship it." Kendall laughed at my comment and leaned over looking at Logan.

"Sounds like someone we know."

"So you guys…all live together?" I questioned taking a seat on one of the stools. They all quickly shook their heads.

"Nah, we get enough of each other on tour. That's Logan's apartment." James answered.

"Yeah…I just moved back a month or two ago—"

"He was living with his mom. She babied him, right Logie-bear?" James grinned and looked down at Logan who sighed heavily.

"God I hate you sometimes…" Logan sighed staring up at James like he wanted to kill him.

LOGIE-BEAR?

HA THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME I'M GOING TO REMEMBER THAT FOREVER. OH SWEET JESUS.

"Ahh embarrassing your friends huh? Nice, I like to do that myself." I chuckled and nodded, with that James quickly jumped into teasing Logan. Well then, I think this job might actually be enjoyable. The noisy dimples guy gets harassed in front of me? I can dig it.

"Oh and one time we were going to do an acoustic set, so we were waiting in this tiny room for like five minutes and Kendall just let one rip, it was so bad." James threw his head back laughing and Kendall hung his head shaking it. I think James and I are going to get along very well…

"_Really?_" I started laughing. "That's fine, I had a similar experience like that on a tour bus, back room we were all stuck because the automatic door wouldn't budge and this guy just…let it rip. Never have chipotle before going on a bus guys, let that be a lesson to all of you." They all started laughing before glancing at Kendall, I guess he's the gassy one. I'll have to watch out for him.

"We like to lock Carlos into the back of our equipment trucks or something." Kendall nodded glancing at Carlos.

"Yeah see they _like_ to but I'm just way too quick for them." Carlos shrugged shaking his head and looking away. James laughed and leaned over rubbing the top of his head before playfully shoving his shoulder. Okay, so they're either all extremely gay for each other or they really do love each other like brothers. Either way good for them, they're extremely amusing. "So how long have you been playing guitar for?"

"Oh man….freshman year of high school I think." I nodded trying to remember. "I started playing in the school, we had a guitar program so I did that, great stuff. Actually I'm trained in classical guitar but I can do some pretty sick little magical finger tricks when I rock out—that's a little weird I should reconsider how I phrase things." I muttered to myself at the end that made them laugh.

"Alright first song that wasn't classical that you ever learned on guitar—go!" Kendall said and I had to think quickly. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams."

"Really?" Logan laughed.

"Yeah dude I learned it in school, kind of depressing a group of thirty kids playing that song all at the wrong tempo and off-beat…was fun though." I chuckled and nodded. I felt someone staring at me so I turned and glanced at Logan. What the fuck dude I swear there is nothing wrong with my face and I did not spill anything on myself so I don't know why he's staring.

"You're from….New York?" He questioned tilting his head to the side.

"Yeah…how could you tell?"

"It's the way you speak." He laughed, the fuck is wrong with the way I speak? "You have a little accent."

"Ah wow, didn't know that. I guess they're right you can pick a New Yorker out anywhere you go." I shrugged and they all nodded. Well sheesh, now I'm going to have to record myself and figure out how I sound.

After a couple of minutes Michael came back and handed me some sheet music for their songs before telling us to follow him to the recording room. "Alright Alex so I just want you to get a feel for how the guys sound, how to work with them before we start getting into some stuff. We'll be going on tour in a few weeks so we need our new guitarist to be on top of her game and getting along with these guys."

Wait a fucking minute.

I JUST MOVED HERE NOW IM GOING ON TOUR?

Christ, I better unpack when I get home.

Michael gave me a headset so I can listen to the guitar track on one ear while the guys began to sing. They started to sing Cover Girl so I listened along, nodding my head of course, it's just something I do. Most musicians keep a beat by tapping their foot, I'm the weirdo that likes to bob her head, it's really distracting I'm told but…whatever. Well after listening to them sing, listening to some of their guitar tracks and jamming out with them, we called it a day. Oh, apparently they cover some Beatles stuff so, I like them a little more now.

"You know we're all going to Logan's for a bit to chill, you should join us." James offered as they walked to their cars.

"Thanks for the offer but I still have a shit-ton of unpacking to do….So I gotta get working on that." I waved to them and walked to my truck. "OH! If I'm trying to sleep and you guys are loud, I'm bringing out my other electric and I'm going to shred it in retaliation."

"Don't' worry we'll be quiet!" Kendall called out before going to his car.

**Midnight.**

More banging and laughter. They thought I was joking did they? Oh they are so mistaken, time to bring out Jasper, my sexy little Gibson electric. Let's see, what would be something good to play….

Oh I got it.

I plugged Jasper into the amp and set it right next to my bed. I stood on my bed, banged on the wall twice which made them quiet down before I busted out Sweet Child O' Mine. What? Who _doesn't_ like that song? It's so lovely. Well that wasn't doing the job so I brought out the big guns. I started to play Kashmir for a good while until I somehow heard the doorbell ring. I put the guitar down and scurried over to see Logan standing there with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, do you think you could keep it down?" He questioned with a smug little grin. "We're trying to sleep."

"Well that's a little lame." I joked, "But sure, as long as you guys keep it down."

"Alright no more noise we get it." He nodded and walked away so I closed the door. See that? That's how you deal with your noisy co-worker…you blast the hell out of them with music.


	3. Crazy Rant

**(Carlos'sCupcake- Gotta love that rock music! I like her too, I can put all my little rants in my head on paper and just say it's alex lmao. Ican't wait to see what happens on tour too, I haven't figured it out yet :P**

** - thanks! And I did, thanks for that memo, I keep getting mixed messages on that whole name thing.)**

**Trying to play invisible on guitar—the strum pattern is killing me. Does anyone play and want to help an idiot?**

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Okay, so I can't be the only one that if they're going to work out they put on their iPod and just sing and dance for the first song…or five. What? I can't help it, no one _actually_ wants to work out, we just do it because we don't want to become fat and we desperately want to attract a superhot person of the opposite sex to have babies with. Deny me all that you want, we all know it's true, we all want to look like a celebrity couple that's so damn sexy that staring at the two of them just makes your eyes want to melt, and then you want to just smack yourself in the face for not looking as good as they do.

Well, on that lovely note, I should actually get to working out… so I finally got out of my truck and walked into the gym. Yeah I know, I just sat there the entire time listening to music, it's amazing isn't it? I'm just so _not_ dedicated to anything. Well, when I walked in I avoided the treadmills and went right to the elliptical. Yeah I can't run that's just not my thing. I can walk, and run for ten seconds to reach the last slice of pizza at a party, but no I will not run for thirty minutes on a treadmill. I would just embarrass myself and as amusing as that is, I don't feel like doing that today. After I killed myself on the elliptical for an hour I went over to some other machines to kill my legs. I don't know why I do it, but I just have to, I work out my legs the most because well….that sore pain just feels so rewarding—ew there might be something wrong with me. So there's this machine…is it leg lifts or leg extensions? I don't know but you sit, and you adjust the weights you want, and you lift a stack of weights with both of your legs and personally I love it. My method is to put on _Welcome Home_ and lift non-stop until the song is over.

Oh yeah, it's brutal.

So after killing my legs on a few machines that, after climbing off of them they were jelly and I nearly fell and died…okay that's exaggerating, but I did almost fall, I went over to do some free weights. Yeah, I _should_ focus on my arms more than the legs….but I don't want to. So as I was working on my triceps I saw in the mirror James and Carlos behind me being worked like dogs.

Oh, James has quite the guns on him. Those are huge—wow Carlos' arms are pretty ripped too.

I'm enjoying this gym membership already.

Whatever let me not bother them and just continue to work on my arms. After I gave up on the triceps I put the weights down on the rack and went to grab a smaller weight to work on my biceps when I felt someone shake my shoulders and I heard a yelling in my ear. Yeah I know, I have headphones on but it's not like I spent a hundred bucks to get a top notch pair that would block out all sound. No, I use the crappy pair that comes with the iPod so I can hear the background noises and figure out if someone's stalking me….if I'm ever walking alone. Anyways, I jumped forward like a scaredy-cat and quickly turned around to see Carlos and James laughing out loud. To think I just saw these guys in the fucking mirror and I _knew_ they were behind me and I still got scared. Sigh.

"You know if I dropped these weights on your foot I would not have apologized!" I threatened shaking my head until one of the ear buds fell out.

"Sorry I couldn't resist." Carlos laughed then grabbed a towel and wiped his forehead. "Didn't know you came here."

"Well yeah I needed a new gym membership and this place rated pretty well on Yelp! So I figured why not?" I nodded and James chuckled stepping forward.

"How long have you been here?" He questioned.

"Wow…oh I don't know I didn't even check the time I just got up and came here." I shrugged, "Time…and the gym, yeah there is just no such thing, it's a vortex."

"Spoken like a true gym rat." He nodded with a smile.

"Oh I am not a gym rat…no." I quickly shook my head and they both raised their eyebrows. "What? I'm not, I'm trying to look my prime for when I desire to date." I nodded and they laughed.

"Good enough reason!" Carlos said, "James is here all the time, he thinks working out will make him look better, but it won't…"

"Oh go fuck yourself." James smacked Carlos with his towel who just laughed and stepped away. "Anyways Alex, how's that unpacking going?"

"Great, if you go to the building's garbage room you'll see all the garbage is just mine, so many…empty boxes." I shuddered at the memory. Those paper cuts, the drying of the skin…ohhh man. "But I successfully have packed everything away."

"Ahh great, you should hang out with us then. You'll have to deal with us on the tour bus for a couple of months so you should probably give us a trial run." James nodded slinging the towel over his shoulder.

"James that sounded really wrong dude." Carlos said looking up at him. James shrugged it off before glancing at me and winking, jokingly I hope.

"So what do you say, want to give us a trial run?"

"Wow, how do I say no to that?" I chuckled and nodded before glancing around, I noticed a girl wearing a shit ton of makeup. "Ugh come on. Makeup, really?" They both looked over their shoulders to stare at the girl. "What are you doing to yourself woman? See I don't get that, why must a woman wear makeup to the gym? Who the fuck are you trying to impress? You are going to get sweaty and disgusting and your hair will frizz up. The make-up will just melt down your cheeks and have you look like a pathetic clown! _Really?_ Women are weird." When I was done with my little rant Carlos was laughing with his head thrown back and James was just staring with his jaw dropped.

"THANK YOU! I say that _every day_ to Carlos. It pisses me off! It is not a cute look and if you need to wear makeup even to the gym something is wrong with you!" James spoke faster and I realized something. He likes to go on little rants…

"Oh god, James found someone else to rant with." Carlos shook his head. "I should have recorded that."

"You really should have, it's golden material." I laughed and felt myself getting cold, and I heard their trainer cough loudly. "Alright he looks like he wants to get back to training you, and I need to continue my workout. I'll see you guys later or something?"

"Yeah we're probably going to Kendall's house this time, he just got the Kinect…and we need to try it." James nodded. "Just ask Logan to give you a ride there."

"Ahhh I don't know if I should ask I feel a little weird." Yes, asking my neighbor who I bitch at for being noisy to give me a ride, I'm sure he won't dump my body somewhere.

"We'll let him know you're going, he'll take you. We're going around eight." Carlos nodded. "See you then?"

"Yeah sure."

Great so I'm going to hang out with the sausage-fest in preparation of dealing with them before tour. The way they said it makes me nervous almost…like I'll crawl out of the bunk one day and just see them all snorting a line of crack, or performing a ritual on a dead body.

Or jacking each other off.

EW EW EW BAD THOUGHTS EW.

Okay, so after I killed myself at the gym some more I went home and showered and got dressed. Since we'll be playing the Kinect, and that requires moment I decided on wearing leggings with a tunic and some converse, that works well. At eight o'clock I heard knocking so I went and surprisingly, Logan was actually there.

"Hey, you're coming tonight right?" He asked and nodded. "Okay so….if you're ready to go we can leave." I nodded and grabbed my bag before shutting the door behind me. I quietly followed Logan to the underground garage where he stopped in front of a small sports car.

"Dude what kind of car is this?" I asked staring at it.

"You're into cars?"

"Nope." I shook my head and climbed in. "But I've never seen it before, looks cool."

"Ah….well it's a Fisker Karma." He nodded. "Superfast car."

"Nice." I nodded and we sat in an awkward silence while he drove to Kendall's house. "So Logan….lived with your mom huh?"

I really don't know why I thought that was the way to go about things. But he laughed like he was embarrassed and shook his head.

"Gotta love James….. yeah I moved back in with them since I really was barely home and I wasn't taking care of the place. I got the apartment though to be on my own. Not a house but I'm not really home so…"

"Yeah I get what you mean." I nodded. Okay…now we have nothing to talk about.

"Guns&Roses, Led Zeppelin, you're a little rocker huh?" He questioned.

"Oh definitely… you should have seen me in High School, I had the tips of my hair dyed snow white like if I was Rogue from X-men, I had the whole piercings thing going on, it was a hot mess." Logan threw his head back and laughed as he turned a corner.

"Nice….I wasn't exactly a hot mess like that but I'm pretty into rock music. I like The Clash myself."

"Yeah? Did you fight the law?" I smirked and he chuckled which allowed me to see those killer dimples.

"And the law won. Clash too huh?"

"Yup." I nodded.

"You know I have a guitar signed from them—"

"No you don't shush."

"Three original members." He smirked proudly. "Fan gave it to me."

"I need to have some of your fans…that's absolutely crazy…. I just have an autographed picture from Cobra Starship that I got off of ebay."

"That's sad." Logan laughed and I nodded in agreement.

"You have no idea how sad…" So we continued the not-so-awkward drive with conversation on music. Logan pulled up to this super nice house and parked in the driveway. The two of us walked over to the door which was already open, and he let himself in. I closed it and locked it behind me because well, I'm responsible, and followed him into the living room where all the furniture was pushed back and Kendall was standing on top of a chair hooking up the Kinect sensor to go above the television. James was drinking a beer and making comments that Kendall was going to drop it while Carlos went through the video game stack.

Hmmm…this seems like it will be interesting.

* * *

**And in the next chapter, fun times at Kendall's House. =D**


	4. Meat Death

**(layla. 595- when I used to go to the gym and I saw that it drove me CRAZY! Oh yes, she has dynamite taste.**

**Carlos'sCupcake- Well this chapter is eh, next chapter though I think things will start to kick off.**

**LazyLazyWriter- Woo im glad!**

**Emy. Elle- it is always fun when the girl destroys at a videogame!)**

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"SERIOUSLY!" James scoffed in a high pitched voice while I stood there laughing hysterically. "This is bullshit, no really you're not a dancer I don't understand how you're winning!" James crossed his arms over his chest after wiping the sweat from his brow. One of the games Kendall had gotten was Dance Central 3, which I have in fact played before at a friend's house. The guys were throwing hissy fits because I was winning, but I can't help it if I have friends that like to play dancing games in their free time and murder their legs!

"Easy James it's just a game!" I laughed sitting on the floor. "I've played the game before I know some of the dances!" James waved me off and walked away to get water while I glanced at the other three guys who were laughing.

"James gets competitive….we all do." Logan nodded.

"So do you want to go next Logan?" I chuckled and he shook his head. "Boo no fun!"

"I'll go!" Carlos stood up and grinned twisting his hat to the side. "But I get to pick the song." I nodded and stood up again as Carlos picked _Yeah_. "Ready to lose Alex?"

"Bring it on Carlos." Now I was never big on Usher so I never tried to do this song, nor have I danced… even similarly to this at all so you know…

Okay no excuses, Carlos kicked my ass at the round.

"And that's how it's done." He smirked proudly tossing his cap to the side while I pouted.

"You know you won because you're trained dancers and have done half of that stuff on stage."

"Yup." He grinned and winked before high-fiving the guys. James walked in with half of his water empty and checked the screen.

"Oh what the hell why is it as soon as James leaves that she loses?!"

"Because you're not meant to be happy James." Logan jumped in, damn him I wanted to say that. James said 'ha ha' in a sarcastic tone before screwing up Logan's hair and sitting on the couch.

"Alright let's try the game it actually came with." Kendall chuckled popping in Kinect Adventures. The five of us stood up and all the way back so we could all get in on the game. The first round we had to slap some ball at a bunch of targets…? Yeah that was a disaster. I slapped one ball and all of the sudden five were coming back at me and I was just flying all over the place. So James won because well, he is the competitive athlete and quite frankly, that was far too much hand eye coordination that I do not have. After playing video games with the boys for a bit I sat out because I was starting to get tired. I watched them play a boxing game between Logan and Carlos. Carlos won, Logan responded by demanding a do-over in which he won.

These boys are never satisfied.

And they're twelve years old now.

"Alright guys, let's get something to eat." Kendall turned off the system and walked to his kitchen with all of the guys following him. Logan gestured for me to follow so I jumped off the sofa and walked in behind him. They all went to the cabinets opening them up and I just saw…lots of color. Seriously, I'm not a goldfish but there are rainbows of color in his cabinets. So I stepped closer beside James and looked up to see everything was labeled 'organic'. Well, that explains why Kendall is so slim and trim. James reached up and grabbed a bag of pita chips, uncurling the bag and sticking his hand in before giving me some. Well, fuck yeah I'm going to take some pita chips!

"Alright guys…how do burgers and hotdogs sound?" Kendall asked taking some packages out of the refrigerator.

"I'll go grill it up?" Logan asked and Kendall nodded while tossing the packages to Logan. Huh, so grilling at about ten thirty at night. Okay, I can dig it. I can't judge I used to go out to seven eleven at one in the morning for a few cartons of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, so I can't really say anything. Now Carlos was chewing on a cookie and sitting on the counter checking his phone when he spoke up.

"Hey guys, so I just told the fans we got a new guitarist and they are like…going bat shit crazy, they want to know who." He swung his legs and looked over at Kendall and James, completely bypassing me. "What do you say? Should we unveil it before the tour or during?"

"I feel like we should do it before the tour so no one passes out at the show." Kendall laughed then turned to me. "Did you tell any of your twitter people?"

"Nope." I shook my head, "My twitter people don't even know I moved….well I hope, that would be weird if they did." I shrugged and the guys all chuckled shaking their heads.

"Alright then Carlos, time to slut it up on Twitter." James laughed and Carlos went back to his phone. I walked over to see him write about two notes back to back.

_Chilling with the boys_, then he sneakily took a picture of Kendall and James in the kitchen getting bread and toppings for the burgers.

_Hanging with the mystery guitar player_¸ then he took a picture of just my shoe. My shoe? Really? Well I'll give him that, he knows how to be a tease! Afterwards we all went to Kendall's backyard where Logan was on the grill turning the meat. I walked over to see how it was coming along and he put the tongs in my face, forcing them together so when the metal hit against each other I jumped back thinking he was going to pull my nose off my face. He pulled the tongs away and laughed at me while I shoved him in the chest. "Very nice Logan! Or what was it…Logie-Bear?"

"Hey! That's my nick-name for my baby!" James said from the lounge chair. I chuckled staring at Logan who was blushing and shaking his head.

"Love you too James!" He called out, turning the burgers. I could hear Carlos talking so I turned around to see him filming himself.

"Hey guys so its Los here hanging out with the guys, say hi James." Carlos went over to James who winked at the camera and waved. "…Alright then! How about you Kendall, going to flirt with the fans?" Kendall turned around and gave an award winning smile and a heart. "Yes you are…LOGAN!" Logan turned around from the grill and handed me the tongs. Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with these? Okay I'll just turn the hot dogs all around like I know what I'm doing –oh fuck I cut one in half. HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT? "So here we have Logan, our grill master—oh and whose that at the grill Logan?"

"Oh well that's our new guitarist—" Carlos cut the video and uploaded it to his Keek or..Twitter, whatever it is. "Dude you're such a tease." Logan laughed walking back over to the grill where I was desperately trying to flip a burger without ripping through it. So I ripped through it. "Wow you are a mess with the grill."

"Take these deadly contraptions from me." I laughed giving him the tongs so he could go back to you know, not fucking everything up. I turned around to walk away from the grill but he stopped me.

"What don't want to keep your noisy neighbor company?" He joked.

"Oh hey not that!" I rolled my eyes. "I just don't want to cause anymore meat deaths."

"Meat deaths? Nice." He laughed and before I could say anything Carlos was laughing hysterically staring at his phone. "What's up dude?"

"Dude one of the fans said 'whoever that girl behind Logan is, is gonna get some of his meat'." Everyone laughed, even I did, come on, that's pretty funny. "Another said 'that lucky bitch' another said 'a girl on tour ?ORGY ALL THE TIME!'….Dude our fans are dirty." He looked up at James and Kendall who nodded.

"Dude you should see what they say to me." James laughed. "They're very descriptive."

"Dude they say my hips don't lie. Part of me wants to check the fan fiction and see what they write about us." Kendall laughed sipping his beer.

"You guys have to do that on tour! I did that to pass the time with the bands I was with, oh it is so funny." I chuckled glancing at them and they nodded.

"Seems like a plan." Logan nodded in agreement.

"Oh here's another one 'los you teasing slut tell us who!' Eesh…demanding. Should we?" Carlos looked up and I looked over to him and nodded.

"Might as well before one of your fans threatens to kill you."

"Been there." They all said at once. Wow….alright that was a little weird but okay! Carlos aimed his phone at me and quickly took a picture of me with two thumbs up. Carlos walked over and showed me the picture and I could see in the background Logan was sticking his tongue out making a ridiculous face with his arms thrown up in the air. "Classy, Logan."

"I know." He winked at me while taking the food off of the grill. Carlos uploaded the picture and all of us sat down to eat. When we were done we all decided to check our Twitters to see if fans were threatening to kill us or not.

"Alright James, you first. Anything?" Kendall asked and James laughed.

"Yeah, '1 girl, four guys, Big Time Sex-Capades.'" He joked. "You?"

" 'Kendall she likes FTSK too! DO a cover!', Logan?"

"I got 'Logan has the 'im going to tap that face' and 'henderwhore found his next victim'." Logan laughed and glanced at Carlos.

"Oh they all called me a tease, and then said 'she's going to date one of them, guarantee.' How about you Alex?"

"Ahhh…I gained about 50—no, 70 followers just now and I have angry tweets yelling at me, because it's in all capitals, that I didn't say anything about it…wow they're pissed…oh and another 'AJ+BTR=some fucked up tour times ahead.'" I glanced up at the boys who all nodded, signaling that they were getting similar tweets.

"Yeah we're getting that too…dude what do you do on tour?" James asked.

"Check YouTube." I responded with a laugh. What? Tour is tour, there are no rules and sometimes you have to do stupid stuff to have fun. Or mean stuff. So after cleaning up a bit I hitched a ride home with Logan. He was telling me what it was like on the bus with them. Apparently they have a drawer just for toys, and this is making me wonder if it's sex toys or actual toys…then there's another just full of candy, which I believe I will get along with really well. They have a lot of bunks on the bus so it'll either be all four of them on the bus or two and two, then I can just pick who I'll go on the bus with.

Oh man….I can't wait for this tour.


	5. Fan Fiction

**(Carlos'sCupcake- dude..i go on twitter and some of the stuff scares me, but a lot of it is pretty funny lmao.**

**LazyLazyWriter: GOOD! I'm trying to aim for that!**

**Emy . Elle- Ah well you can't win ALL the time lol.**

**Layla. 595- I hope they do, that would be so funny. )**

* * *

Alright so we're loading up the busses, getting ready to go to Vegas to kick off the tour. Oh yeah, first show and it's in Vegas, that's going to kick some major ass. Anyway, so I'm on my Twitter stalking some of the followers and I've come to a very interesting realization. That they're all pervs and would love me if I did something about it. So to help them out I noticed Kendall bent over to tie his shoe, perfect ass shot. So I took a picture and wrote _Dat ass_¸ and sent it into the Twitter world. Gosh I'm terrible. So I climbed onto the bus with Scarlet to try and put her in a good bunk, I need to claim one that isn't crappy. So, to solve this problem I quickly shoved the case into the top bunk to claim dibs. Yes damn it I am tall enough to get in…I just have to step a little bit on another bunk to get in—BUT IM STILL TALL ENOUGH! When I turned around from shoving Scarlet in I saw James smirking.

"Ohhh, you fucked up."

"What?" I asked.

"That's _Logan's_ bunk, he always picks that." He chuckled throwing a bag into a random bunk, I guess that would be his.

"Oh…..well sucks for Logan."

"What sucks for me?" Logan shoved his way in and gasped staring between the bunk and myself. Oh….huh. Sucks for him. "You took my bunk!"

"..I did….and what are you going to do about it?" I challenged. Logan raised an eyebrow and removed my guitar, putting it on the very top bunk across from his so we would be facing each other. "Oh what a big baby!"

"What? You said what was I going to do about it, I acted!" Logan said innocently throwing his bag inside what _was_ my bunk.

"You are such a child."

"Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me." He smiled proudly climbing into the bunk and lying down. "Ahh, what a nice bunk."

"Child." I chuckled shaking my head and walked away to see Carlos and Kendall filling the candy drawer. They were just unloading black plastic bags into the drawer before kicking it closed and high-fiving each other. They glanced at me with a grin and I just chuckled shaking my head. "Oh by the way Kendall I put your ass on Twitter."

"Did you? I hope it was a flattering shot." He chuckled and went on his phone to check his Twitter feed and saw the photo. "And it was! Thanks Alex."

"Oh of course." I chuckled watched as everyone seemed to get ready for the bus to start moving. Carlos took out his phone to take videos of everyone to upload. Kendall put on his headphones and took out his laptop, James went right to sleep and I was left bored with nothing to do. Well then, that's interestingly boring. I got up and grabbed my guitar from the bunk and walked all the way to the back, without having to shut the door behind me, because it's automatic, sweet, and sat down with my baby Scarlet to practice some of their music. I put my feet upon the sofa and began to strum along to a couple of songs until I was sure I had them down.

Wow, we still have a couple of hours to go…I'm fucked.

So I went through the songs a few more times until I felt like bashing my head against the wall. I started to drift off into playing other stuff, and before I knew it I was strumming Hotel California.

"On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair." I looked up and saw Logan standing at the door. "Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air." Hey not bad, he does not have a shitty voice. Logan kept on singing, so I kept on playing, and before I knew it he was beside me as we started to belt out the chorus, and soon enough we finished the song. Wow, time flew right by on that one. "You have a good taste in music Alex." Logan nodded approvingly, well, fuck yeah I do, hello…. I like the good shit.

"Thanks I gotta say you like some good stuff too, oh nice voice by the way, I didn't hear any special effects to make you sound better." I joked and he laughed shaking his head.

"Oh wow thank you, yeah I forgot my auto-tune in the bunk, let me go get it."

"Ahh just when I thought you were better than that…" we both laughed and I continued to strum chords mindlessly. You know, aside from being a noisy motherfucker to live next to, Logan's not bad. I mean, he's pleasant to look at, he has adorable dimples that I want to fill with chocolate and lick. Plus his taste in music is pretty kick ass, I can dig this tour. Now if he's ripped like the rest of these guys I can just die happy. Maybe I'll suggest an orgy like some of those Twitter people said.

THAT REMINDS ME!

"OH! Fan fiction! Want to see some?" I laughed, what? I really love to see their reactions when celebrities read fan fiction, it gives me a six pack every time.

"Ah…do I want to?"

"Yes."

"I'll get my laptop then." I watched as Logan stood up and left the room, and yes I tried to get a glimpse of his ass. What?! I'm a single woman, I can look at whoever I want. For example, I was staring at Kendall's arms and tattoos like if I was a baby koala that wanted to hang on to them forever.

**Logan's POV**

Alright, so I grabbed my laptop and went to the back just as Alex was locking her guitar up in the case. I dropped on the seat by the window so I could put the laptop on the table and she slid right over so we could read…fan fiction. This is going to be…interesting to say the least. As I was typing I realized…. She smells really freaking good. Like berries or something, anyway she took the laptop from me and went on some fan fiction website and started typing.

"Okay, what kind of rating do you want to read?" She asked with a laugh. A rating, fuck should I be scared?

"Uhhh…"

"I'll put mature." An evil grin formed on her face as she typed a bit more and came across a page that was listing tons of _Big Time Rush_ stories. "Alright so these use the characters from the show, but a lot of people just write about…how you guys actually are." I leaned closer to the screen to gaze at the stories.

"…Logan is the new boy at school and meets James, the school's jock and biggest jerk. I'm going to click on that." I muttered.

"I don't know if you want to do that."

"Why?"

"….nah, go ahead and click on it, I get to pick the chapter." I nodded and let her pick the chapter. The two of us were quietly reading, and I guess she was reading faster than me, because I saw her jaw drop from the corner of my eye and she let out a loud laugh. I furrowed my eyebrows and continued to read.

"…_Then James proceeded to bend Logan over the desk, burying himself inside him to the hilt."_

"WHAT THE FUCK" I shouted hitting back on the browser to get rid of the story. I glanced over and Alex was holding her sides laughing. "EW! EW THEY CAN'T PUT JAMES AND I…EW!"

"Oh they did….Jagan." she laughed hysterically and clicked on another one. "Wow dude, you get paired with James a lot—WAIT A MINUTE here's a Kendall one." She continued to read and pointed on the screen so I could read a paragraph.

In that paragraph Kendall fucked me over Gustavo's desk.

"Dude…you are not the dominant one." She giggled trying to cover her mouth and stifle her laughter but she just couldn't do it.

"Hey I am plenty dominant." I grumbled. She smirked raising an eyebrow at me. Okay that came out wrong…but I am!

"Oh look…." She pointed to a story about Carlos and I. "AW see? Look they made you dominant of Carlos!"

"That doesn't make me feel any better." I muttered. Oh god, here I blow a load into Carlos' mouth. Jeez. "Who writes this stuff?"

"Fans of all ages."

"So…somewhere there's an eighteen year old girl writing about … Carlos blowing me?" I asked cringing, and this made her crack up hysterically.

"Or a twelve year old boy, or a twenty-something year old. All ages Logie." She laughed hysterically and clicked on another one. "There's a lot of _smut_ about you guys. I mean damn, you must be hot stuff." She chuckled.

"Yes I am." I nodded and winked at her before clicking on a story. "Oh okay thank god, I am not fucking one of the guys here…just some girl named….Hailey. Cool I can dig that, maybe Hailey's hot."

"You do know this is a story right?" She turned to look at me and I looked back at her and nodded. She chuckled and went back to focusing on the story. I continued to read it too but I felt myself getting a little well…excited so I stopped and glanced at Alex who had her jaw hanging open. "Sweet Jesus they made you dominant as hell here. Whoever this author is should consider writing erotic novels for a living. I'd buy it."

"Erotic novels about me?" I smirked staring at her and she narrowed her eyes.

"HAHA! So funny Logan!" She shoved me playfully. "It's SO funny in fact I'm going to show Carlos. CARLOS!"

"No! What are you going to show him!?"

"You blowing a load in his mouth." She laughed hysterically and continued to yell for Carlos before picking up the laptop. I pulled the laptop away from her and put it on the table. She chuckled and stood up to run and get Carlos but I grabbed her around the waist and yanked her back. "No Logan I have to go tell Carlos on how you dominate his ass!" She laughed and kicked trying to get away but I wouldn't let her, so I tickled her.

Yes, I am in fact flirting.

What? She's hot…

As I was tickling her and not letting her leave Carlos walked in and raised an eyebrow. "Dude what did I say about yelling for me to join in on threesomes?" He said crossing his arms over his chest with a smirk. Before I could answer Alex pulled away and grabbed the laptop to show him.

"Check it! This chick wrote a story about Logan blowing a load into your mouth."

I can never forget the expression on Carlos' face as she told him that, and then forced him to read it.


	6. Plastic Wrap

**(SHY-lmao they're definitely traumatized**

**Carlos'sCupcake- I feel like they do! I know Cobra Starship read some fanfiction and talked about it and it was hilarious.**

**LazyLazyWriter- thanks im so glad you enjoyed it!)**

* * *

Okay so I have the guys hooked on fan fiction, but…not in the way that people would hope. They love to just go on it now and make fun of each other and act all manly. So far James is the most dominant one, followed by Kendall in a close second. Logan thought he would be third, but Carlos dominates the hell out of him. Why? He's a spicy Latino, why wouldn't he dominate the shy dorky genius? Oh god, it's so rich. I haven't even watched the show to know about their characters, but this is just hilarious. It's great because they are so grossed out…but they find it so funny at the same time. Now when they found the stories with you know, women, they all were joking around that they were going to take notes about it.

I so don't think they are joking.

So not only were they now reading smut, they also proceeded to shoot each other with nerf guns. Of course since I was chilling in my bunk I became victim to 20 darts being shot at me all at once, but once I got a hold of a gun I was better than Clint Eastwood….

Well no I wasn't, but I _felt_ like I was, and that's all that matters.

Also, I shot Kendall right on the nipple. IT WAS THE BEST SHOT IN THE ENTIRE GAME!

We finally got to Vegas and the show is in a few hours, so the boys are all going to go do their sound check before I join them to run through with the guitar. As we got off the bus I turned and immediately saw fans screaming and jumping holding signs. See that's the one thing I don't get, who the fuck figures out exactly where they are going to be and what time? Seriously, it freaks me out. It's flattering but the fact that they're….okay, they're stalkers. That's it, they stalk the boys and I find their skills so admirable, but a bit unsettling for a group of teenage girls.

So I got on stage with the boys and sat on the stool that Carlos pulled out for me and started to tune my guitar. I love that the tuner is built in, ahh Scarlet, my little baby girl. As I was tuning the boys started talking to the fans and answering their questions.

"So is she there forever?" One asked.

"Until she's off parole." James nodded seriously and I leaned over slapping him on the arm to which he laughed. "Okay okay kidding, yeah she's here forever…..and ever….and ever."

"Are you dating one of them?" Another asked

"Naaaah." I shook my head making them laugh, "Just met these guys, gotta take it slow girl!"

"Would you?"

"MMMM I could say no but that'd be a lie. I probably would, they're not _that_ terrible." I laughed and began to run through the songs with the guys. When Logan was singing Cover Girl he pointed at my shoe before yanking it off my foot as soon as he said rain boots. God damn it. These are not rain boots, these are flats. I can't even get up and chase him because I forgot to put on the strap for the guitar and I'll drop it! He grinned and tossed the shoe to James, who threw it to Carlos, who tossed it to Kendall, and then they continued to throw my shoe for the duration of the song. Dickheads. When the song was over I leaned over and smacked Logan's hat into the crowd to one of the girls. "You can keep that hat sweetie!"

"Really!?" She yelled and looked at Logan who nodded.

"I would slap your guitar into the crowd and tell them to keep it, but you'd murder me."

"Damn right I would." I nodded and continued to play with them until our sound check was over and we left the stage. So apparently, I get my own little outfits to wear on stage. Yeah I don't get a million wardrobe changes like these guys but I do get cool jackets and stuff to wear, sweet. See? Even the guitarist has to cool decent on stage, I can dig it.

So the day went on, and soon it came to concert performing time. I gotta say…I've never done this whole.. pop star on tour thing, but it's kind of cool. The guys have a real strong stage presence, plus they manage to get dressed in only thirty seconds, so kudos to them…. Plus in those thirty seconds I get to rock out, so I can dig it. When we did the little acoustic set I got to sit on the stage with them and watch them smile and tease all the little teenage girls They know they do it too!

After that I went back to my little corner to play guitar and watch the guys. Damn…I like watching them perform. Especially Logan he gets this cocky little grin thing going on…he's so confident. Alright, I think I'm lusting after Logan and his dimples, which I will fill with chocolate at some point. I must learn to control myself…

* * *

So after the show when everyone was all cleaned up and they were done taking pictures with fans that caught them while they were trying to leave, everyone gathered in the tour bus. As soon as we were inside Carlos stuck his head out the window and the crowd screamed. When he pulled his head back in they stopped, and when he was back out they screamed. He was thoroughly amused with himself.

"DOES ANYONE WANT JAMES' UNDERWEAR?!" Carlos yelled and heard the crowd scream.

"Dude you wouldn't.." James watched as Carlos ran to James' luggage and pulled out a pair of boxer briefs before running over to the window and flapping them out the window. I was dying of laughter as the fans were screaming, and James yanked his underwear from Carlos' hands. "That's my favorite pair!"

"Sorry James." Carlos laughed twisting his hat and flopped down on the sofa.

"So now what do you guys want to do?" I asked sprawling out on the rest of the sofa so James couldn't sit. He solved his problem by sitting on my legs.

"Oh well I'm fine crushing this small woman on the sofa. What about you Carlos?" James said with a smile.

"Oh you know I haven't crushed any small women lately, do you want to scoot over so I can do that?"

"Oh by all means go ahead." James sat on my pelvis and moved over so Carlos could sit over my knees.

"GET OFF!" I yelled slapping their backs just as Kendall and Logan made it in. "Guys! They're crushing me!"

"Sweet!" Kendall ran over and sat on my shins, when Logan ran over he was about to sit on my stomach.

"DON'T EVEN DO IT LOGAN!"

"….But everyone else is doing it." And with that he sat on my stomach, but thankfully he didn't put all his weight on me. I pouted and started slapping their backs and they finally stood up. "Jerks!"

"Sorry." Logan chuckled and pulled me up to avoid the chance of me getting sat on again. "So what do you guys say about going out to eat?"

"YES!" Kendall clapped his hands together. "I would love to go get food right now, out somewhere. Food." Kendall nodded and everyone agreed. So you know we went and had dinner, watched a waitress flirt with James, but Kendall said she was definitely into him, so Logan and James proceeded to flirt with that waitress just to mess with Kendall, and clearly she was into the two of them. After dinner we went back to the bus as it started driving to…I don't even know where, I just know that it's dark right now and we're driving. Carlos was the first one to fall asleep, we which was stupid. So while Carlos was asleep I grabbed the guys and we plastic-wrapped the entrance for his bunk, so if he tries to roll out he'll just smack into plastic. Hehehe, I'm evil. After that Kendall knocked out and….well yeah we did the same thing to him, he wouldn't expect it! I left James alone though because he's like six feet tall with the most muscles and that intimidates me.

Anyway, I sat in the back in my pajamas lying on the sofa watching TV when the door slid open, and in walks Logan in sweats and a tank. OH SO HE DOES HAVE GORGEOUS ARMS.

Sweet, I like this tour even more.

"What's up Logan?" I questioned, not removing my eyes from the TV. What? For basic cable, they have Duck Dynasty on, and I gotta say, rednecks are addicting to watch.

"Came to turn the TV off, didn't think you were still up."

"Oh…yeah I am did you hear it? I can turn it off."

"Nooo I just thought you would have fallen asleep by now. He shook his head and sat next to me to stare at the screen. "Rednecks?"

"Duck Dynasty to be exact." I chuckled throwing my legs over his. "It's addicting. Especially at two in the morning."

"Ahhh, sounds a lot better than what I was doing."

"Masturbating to that fan fiction that we read?" I smirked looking over at him and he grimaced.

"No I was not! It was hard to look at the guys after that."

"Bro an hour later the four of you pretended to kiss on stage to make some fan happy."

"Shut up." He lightly smacked my leg and I just laughed and went back to watching TV. The two of us watched TV for a couple of hours. I know, usually I would be on bed but when I'm on tour my sleep schedule becomes all sorts of fucked up, and I usually have a hard time sleeping the first few days. Hey, if having a hard time sleeping means I'll stay up late with Logan I can dig it. During a commercial break I kicked Logan and sent him to the front to get some candy, and he actually went! Sweet…

**Logan's POV**

Well after watching TV with Alex for a couple of hours the two of us finally went to sleep in our bunks, when I got up which was some time in the afternoon, I left the bunks to see Kendall and Carlos shaking their heads at me for pranking them. James said it was great and that I should have been up to see it. They both just slammed into it and were so confused they rolled into it and fell on the ground. Sweet. Now they want to get back at Alex and hehe well, who am I to say no?

So we planned it all out.

"OH NO ALEX! KENDALL JUST BROKE SCARLET!" Carlos shouted from the front of the bus

"_WHAT!?_" Oh yeah, she was asleep when he screamed that, so we heard her jump out of the bunk and start marching to the front. James and were holding plastic wrap in our hands and we had it stretched out so as soon as she walked through the door and into the plastic wrap James and I started to wrap her. He spun her while I let the plastic wrap flow from the tube.

"OH what the hell!" She whined and tried to get away but James didn't let her. One arm was pinned against her stomach and the other was up across her torso. I ripped the plastic wrap and stuck it onto her right before James high fived me. "This is so cruel."

"Then don't mess with us in our sleep!" Carlos said jumping up.

"YEAH!" Kendall added with a laugh and took the nerf gun to shoot her while she wobbled standing there.

"Oh…when I get out of here." She threatened, frantically wobbling around trying to rip the plastic, which she could not do, instead she fell over and we all laughed at her. "OH you guys will so regret it!" She threatened. I laughed and helped her to her feet. "Unwrap me?"

"I don't know guys…what do you think?" I looked up at them and they all grinned.

"Nah.."

"You fucking dickheads are going to get it." She threatened once more.

* * *

**Hmm this should be spiced up, what would spice it up?**


	7. Cherry and Orange Ejaculation

**(Emy . Elle- I would so put chocolate in them, I bet it tastes even better that way…**

**Layla . 595- GO FOR IT! Oh yeah, chocolate filled dimples.**

**Carlos'sCupcakes- lmao I'm glad you found it funny! That whole plastic wrap thing? It's EVIL! Apparently people don't like when you do it to them.**

**SHY- ahh…spinning into Logan's arms…good idea, I shall save that.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust- wait…you did that? JESUS, remind me not to prank you! Burning underwear? I don't know how…or why…but I applaud you for that.**

**Wordsandwonders- but what if james farted in that underwear? Would you still want it? rofl)**

* * *

**Logan's POV**

Alright, so we're almost to our stop in Texas and Alex is still sound asleep in her bunk. So I pulled the curtain back to wake her up and I was greeted with her ass in my face because she was curled up facing the wall. Oh, and would you look at that, you can see the straps of a purple thong hanging out from on top. Now how can I have fun with this? "Yo James, check it." James walked over and stared at her before laughing.

"Ice pops dude, just stick them right in the straps." He suggested, so of course I did just that before climbing into my bunk to watch from the safety of being behind the curtain. A few minutes later she woke up and stopped stretching.

"OW COLD OW!" She squirmed before rolling out of the bunk and landing on all fours like a cat. She jumped up and twisted her body to see the two ice pops. She growled and pulled them out but still felt cold, so she put her hands on her backside trying to keep warm while jumping. "WHO PUT ICE POPS DOWN MY THONG!" She yelled out on the bus and everyone was laughing.

"_Nice!"_ I heard Kendall say before giving a high five. I watched as she walked out to see who had done it, so I jumped out of the bunk and walked behind her.

"Okay, so who thought it was funny to—"

"Rah!"

"AHH!" She screamed and dove behind Carlos before turning around to see me, and everyone else laughing at her. "Oh that is it." Still holding those popsicles, she came running at me like a cheetah. I laughed running backwards but she actually tackled me to the floor as soon as we hit the bunk area. "You think you're so funny, do you Logan?" She asked while straddling my chest and using her legs to pin my arms down—oh my fuck she has strong legs. Fuck.

"I think I'm hilarious." I grinned staring up at her and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Oh how lovely!" She held up the two popsicles which were now dripping and proceeded to rub them all over my face. "Enjoy that Logan, nice, cold, popsicles. Remember that fan fic we read? Just pretend it's James…." She was rubbing the popsicles on my face and when she said that I kind of freaked out, that was a disturbing image.

"You're so going to get it AJ…" I threatened, yeah I've taken to calling her AJ over the tour.

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrow and smirked looking at me. "Bring it." She shoved the remainder of the popsicles down my shirt and slapped them hard so they broke off from the sticks and spread all over my chest and inside my shirt. "HA! NIPPLES ARE HARD!" she laughed at me and as soon as she started to get up I sat up quickly and grabbed her thighs, yanking her back down. "Hey!"

"Want? You don't want any popsicle juice?" I rubbed my cheek against hers to get the sticky liquid on her, and reached into my shirt pulling out ice chunks before slathering them over hers. She was laughing and trying to push me away but let's face it, she's not strong enough.

"Ahem." The two of us stopped and looked up to see James smirking with his arms over his chest. "If you two are done ejaculating orange and cherry all over each other, we're going to be at the venue soon so you should probably I don't know….shower." She got up first and ran right into the tiny shower before I could even process it, Kendall and Carlos then walked over and looked down at me smirking.

"What?!"

"Oh….nothing Logan nothing uh….nothing at all." James smirked then stared at Kendall and Carlos who started to making kissing sounds.

"Shut up."

"Hey we're just saying, you two looked pretty cozy." Carlos shrugged. "It is Valentine's Day after all."

* * *

**Alex's POV**

I should have sat on Logan's face. That probably would have been even more fun than shoving ice pops on his face like they're James' dick or shoving them down his shirt. Although the face he made when I said that…oh god if only I took a picture of that, it would have been great. Anyways, the guys have about three shows here in Texas since the first one sold out within minutes, then the second one sold out so they added a third. They've been adding a couple of extra tour dates, not like I mind though, this is my awesome job. So here I am sitting on a chair making funny faces behind the interview woman's back while the boys try to answer her questions without being distracted by me.

God I'm such an asshole, I love it.

"So what are your plans for this Valentine's Day?" She questioned. The boys all grinned and put their arms around one another with smiles

"Oh you know." James shrugged and glanced lovingly down at Logan who shook his head staring at the floor with a laugh. "A little bit of Jagan," he then glanced at Kendall and Carlos. "A little bit of Kenlos." I couldn't help myself right when he said that I walked away from them and stood in the corner of the room laughing hysterically. Oh god they've been reading way too much of that fan fiction. "No but seriously." He pulled his arms away from them and stared with such a straight face at the camera so quickly, it was great. "Nothing with these guys. It's terrible."

"We hate each other." Logan nodded seriously.

"With every fiber of our being!" Kendall added.

"HATE THEM!" Carlos added enthusiastically before they all laughed. "On a serious note…nothing really we have no plans. We'll just be rehearsing for tomorrow's show, we did a little acoustic radio set today, so…that's it." He shrugged and nodded.

"Uh huh…"She chuckled staring at the four of them who were smiling like goofballs. "So how are things going with your new guitarist?"

"Oh we hate her." James said quickly.

"No we don't" Kendall laughed putting his hand over James' mouth. "We like her she's a cool chick. We think she hates us though. Right, you hate us?" He nodded at me and the camera turned around to me.

"Oh…absolutely." I nodded and the camera went back to them.

"After all those bags of skittles we shared?" Carlos called out to me and sighed shaking his head. Oh man, these guys are too much I can't take it.

"Alright then, any romance brewing? I mean…if you look at your twitter feed your fans are going _crazy._"

"Funny thing about that." Logan laughed rubbing the back of his neck. "Her fans _hate_ ours. Like we go on twitter and they're just going back and forth."

"Oh yeah yeah yeah they're like 'oh she's just working on BTR until some _real_ band with rock music comes along' and our followers are like 'STFU she's done pop work before!' and then hers are like 'YEAH WELL SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU GUYS' and it gets pretty intense." Carlos added with a serious nod.

It's true, my guys say I settled until something better comes along, with real music. They're mean, the rushers though are super nice! Well…..I did get a few telling me to stay away from the guys and not to break hearts but you know, that's only a handful.

Or ….several handfuls.

"That's shocking…wow." The guys all nodded to her. "But I asked about romance." As soon as she said that Carlos, Kendall, and James all turned to the right to look at Logan sitting at the end of the sofa. Why uh…..why are they doing that?

"You know for romance to brew on the tour…" Logan just shook his head nervously glancing at the camera. "You're into me aren't you?" He suddenly got serious and winked at her.

Ten points to Gryffindor, that's one hell of a deflection!

"Stupid, she's into me obviously because we're going out for dinner tonight because you'll save my Valentine's Day, right?" James nodded at her seriously.

"See? You can't get a serious answer out of those two." Carlos said, laughing along with Kendall.

"Clearly I can't!" She giggled. Pft, please lady. You do not want a serious answer you are having a ball being flirted with by Logan and James. You lucky bitch. "Seriously though, I need an answer for the fans, they're dying to know! Alex Jones and one fourth of Big Time Rush, could that hookup happen?"

"Ahhh…." Logan looked at his friends nervously then at me. I smirked at him and crossed my arms over my chest. Oh yes, do answer, Logan.

"You know I'll answer for Logie-Bear because clearly a cat got his tongue." James sat forward pushing Logan further back in his seat. "It could definitely happen, you never know. Sometimes you just meet someone and you click, if it happens it does! Not going to deny it. Also would just like to point out that this answer could be true or false, take it how you want. Just letting you all know that because AJ is standing right behind the interviewer." He smiled at the camera with a nod and the guys all looked at the camera nervously mouthing 'help me', as though they were being held hostage. Very nice.

"Alright I'll take that answer, thanks guys!" They all waved to the camera and said good bye, one by one getting up to leave until it was just Carlos left.

"Seriously….help us!" He said into the camera before running away. Ah, charming. They walked over to me and I just shook my head following them out.

"You guys are such idiots." I laughed. James patted me on the shoulder before ruffling my hair.

"I prefer the term extremely hilarious." He nodded. I rolled my eyes and followed them to the tour bus where we all climbed on so we could head to the hotel. I flopped down on the sofa and put my legs over Kendall's lap, and as soon as Logan sat down I put a pillow over his lap and laid on that. "Ah, my personal pillows."

"You do realize we both can tickle you, right?" Kendall said nodding at me.

"Ahhh…my own seat." I said quickly pulling my legs down to the floor and sitting up which made them laugh.

"So uh…you got any plans tonight?" Logan asked casually, taking away the Twix bar I was opening and eating it himself.

That asshole.

"Oh yeah, that bed in the hotel room sent me a dirty note. I'm going to climb all up inside that bitch and just lay on her all day." I nodded seriously and this made him laugh and shake his head.

"That's a nice thought. I was just asking you know, if you want to grab some dinner with me and walk around? Kendall's going to go stop by and visit his friends and James and Carlos…." He glanced over at the two of them who were just grinning from ear to ear staring at us. "Are clearly going to have sex with each other." They nodded and wrapped their arms around one another. "So if you don't want to have sex with that bed…"

"Yeah I'll go eat with you." I laughed and nodded.

"Alright cool let's see…I'll stop by your room around eight?"

"Yeah that works." I nodded, as did Logan who patted my leg and walked away with my candy. "HEY I WANT MY TWIX!" All I saw was the candy bar fly at my head and break in half on impact. "JERK!"

Wait, is this a date?


	8. Roses, yo!

**(Carlos'sCupcake- I LOVE TWIX! When Twix PB came out I was hoarding them… **

**LazyLazyWriter- haha thank you! I try!)**

* * *

I hate having a vagina.

No seriously, being female makes everything so much fucking harder. First now I'm wondering if this is a date or not. He asked me to eat on _Valentine's Day_, who does that? Whatever, I'll just play it down and say we're just eating, but then what do I wear? If I look too formal I think it's a date, if I look to casual then I just look like a hopeless retard who can't tell the difference between a date or just hanging out.

WHICH IS WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?!

FUCK IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY TOO SO I'M OBLIGATED TO LOOK PRESENTABLE IN PUBLIC AGH!

Fuck it, I don't know where we'll go eat so I might as well try to look nice. You know after standing here in a towel for twenty minutes looking at clothes you'd think I'd be dressed. Nope. Finally I pulled out some clothes to wear. Since we're going to eat I settled on a tight red long sleeve scoop neck with a pleated black skirt. Now I don't know if I should wear tights with this or not. It's a little chilly but Houston's really warm. Christ.

I sighed and after pulling those on, I pulled on a shoe on one leg, and on the other I put on one tight leg and the shoe, then quickly ran over to Kendall's room. He'll be honest with me, so after knocking he opened the door and started laughing. "What the hell is that?"

"A question! With or without tights?" Kendall looked down tilting his head side to side.

"No tights, show off your legs it looks better." He crossed is arms knowingly and leaned against the door. "Trying to impress Logan?"

"Nope, just trying not to look homeless outside. Thanks Kendork!" I fluffed his hair before running back to my room to take off the tights.

Huh, good thing I shaved my legs.

Well, I picked my hair up into a high pony tail, threw on some lip gloss and eyeliner, perfume, and called it a day, so I flopped down on the bed and watched Duck Dynasty until around eight when there was a knocking at the door. I spritzed myself once more before grabbing my bag and opening the door. Logan stood there with his hands in his jeans, wearing a white button down, grey tie, and navy cardigan, and an adorable grin.

Oh Logan….you sexy bastard.

"Hey, wow you look great." He nodded at me.

"Thanks you too, ready to go?"

"Yup let's go." He nodded at me and I shut the door behind him, following him out the building. As soon as I stepped outside I wanted to slap myself, I should have worn those god damn tights, the wind will murder me. "Sooo anything I should know about feeding you?" He chuckled as we were walking down the block.

"Yes, don't feed me after midnight, and don't get water on me." I nodded seriously at him and he just laughed. "Okay, I don't eat seafood."

"Perfect, I have a place you'll like then." We walked a few more blocks until we got to this restaurant called _The Grove_, and after being seated we glanced at the menu, then he ordered appetizers and entrees for the two of us. Wow, Logan takes charge, I can dig that. "So, how do you like touring with us so far?" He smiled and I had to fight the urge to find chocolate to shove into his dimples.

"Hands down the most fun-filled tour I've ever been on. You guys are nuts." I chuckled sipping my wine. "Just a lot of fun and goofing around."

"Ah well I'm glad we're the best you've ever had." He winked at me. Oh Logan, you dirty…handsome devil. Before he could follow up with what I'm sure would have been a dirty comment, one of the staff members walked towards the table holding a huge bushel of roses in his arm.

"How about buying a rose for your lady?" He suggested with a smile. I smirked wondering what Logan would do next. He smiled and licked his lip as though deciding on what to do before nodding and reaching for his wallet. The man turned to me and handed me a gorgeous red rose before taking the money from Logan and walking away.

"You didn't have to you know." I said twirling the rose between my fingertips.

"Nah, I wanted to." He nodded putting his wallet back into his pants.

"Oh…well thank you." I smiled at him and he nodded back, watching me twirl the rose around before setting it down gingerly on the table. Wow, I don't know when was the last time a dude gave me roses….Actually yeah, in high school my boyfriend gave me roses—I HAVEN'T HAD ROSES SINCE HIGH SCHOOL? THAT IS SO FUCKING SAD.

Well anyway, we continued to make small talk and joked around while we were eating. Logan of course got a steak and it came with mashed potatoes, and he actually offered me to try it. I guess he remembered me telling them a story on how I ate mashed potatoes for a straight week in high school. Ah….that was a fun eating binge. Well anyways, rather than me sticking my fork in he fed me with his own. Let's see, sexy dimple man feeding me one of my favorite foods? I don't mind one bit. So in return I fed him some of my chicken and we went back and forth feeding each other. Weird…but I can dig it.

When the bill came I reached for the booklet but Logan quickly slid it away. "Oh come on, really Logan?"

"Really what? I'm paying."

"You don't have to really, at least let's split it."

"Nope, I invited you, it's my treat." He shook his head and slipped the cash inside before shutting it and standing up. "Shall we go?"

"Yes we shall….damn you for being nice. "

"I know." He threw his head back and laughed guiding me out of the restaurant. "Still up for walking around or you want to head back to the hotel?"

"Let's stay out! Show me around Houston!" I smiled and he nodded walking with me. "So Logan…"

"Yes AJ?"

"Tell me about yourself! You know aside from you being cocky and a jokester." He chuckled and smiled shaking his head, he seems to do that an awful lot.

"Ah well you know, I'm in this awesome band and show—"

"Oh god. _Really Logan?_"

"Alright sheesh!" He threw his hands up defensively. "I'm from Texas…I have two little sisters, Abby and Annie, they're twelve. In high school I was definitely a prankster…I was always in trouble for talking or playing a joke. Oh, I did gymnastics actually bet you didn't know that."

"Really? Did you wear tights too? And a leotard—OH MY GOD tell me you wore tights!" I laughed walking with him and he shook his head.

"No, weirdo! I wore sweatpants. Sheesh….what, you want to imagine how good I must look with my legs outlined? I could just take my pants off for that."

"Oh you're always so classy Logan." I laughed shaking my head. He shrugged and gestured over to the left where we turned and continued walking. As we did so we heard a scream and a group of teenage girls came _running_ at Logan. "Damn…" I muttered watching them run up to him.

"Logan Mitchell! Oh my god can we have autographs and pictures?" She squealed staring up at him.

"Yeah of course, anything for a fan." He gave them that sexy little grin and waited for one of them to produce something for him to write with. I chuckled and reached into my purse pulling out a red sharpie and giving it to him. After he signed their iPod cases and took pictures, they asked for my autograph next, of course I signed it! "Are you guys on a date?" She asked gesturing to the rose I was holding. We both chuckled nervously glancing at one another before looking at her.

"Ahh you know…" I started then glanced at Logan.

"Just grabbing dinner." Logan nodded.

"On Valentine's Day? Sure." One of the other girls snickered and took a picture of the two of us before walking way. "Thanks for the autographs!" Logan nodded and waved as they left then kept walking.

"Teenage girls make everything weird…" He said with a laugh.

"Tell me about it."

"Oh, were you a weird teenage girl?" He questioned as we walked, to what I assume is that bowling alley I see from two blocks away.

"Logan I went on a mashed potato binge…yeah I was weird. Well my brother's a year younger than me, so I was on 'make sure he gets no girls pregnant' patrol in high school. Then as I've said I was a music student, played guitar…I wasn't a bad one like you though, I was too afraid to talk and get in trouble." Logan laughed shaking his head, opening the door to the bowling alley. "Oh, got my first kiss when I was a junior, beat that!"

"Thirteen." Logan smiled proudly walking over to the counter.

"THIRTEEN!?" I quickly said my shoe size then looked back at him. "What the hell? How!?"

"These dimples speak for themselves." He winked at me grabbing the shoes and walking over to our lane. Well, he's absolutely right but DAMN. Thirteen? Eesh, I started the game late! I pulled on my shoes and Logan and I bowled together for two games.

"Oh I have a funny story for you!" I said as he grabbed a bright red ball. He nodded indicating he was listening as he walked over to the lane. "So my parents named me Alex because they thought I was a boy without a penis, they refused to believe they had a girl." Logan was about to throw the ball down, but when he threw it, the ball went flying down the gutter as he bent over laughing.

"Get out! They wanted you to be a boy that bad?"

"Yup!" I laughed standing up.

"Well I'm glad they were wrong." He stood in front of me and stared down at me.

Oh fuck. MY OVARIES.

"Y-yeah." I nodded looking up at him and quickly side-stepped him grabbing the bowling ball and going to take my turn. We continued bowling for a bit until the games were over, then we walked back to the hotel, and my god it just got colder. I hugged myself as we were walking and Logan noticed, so he slipped off his cardigan and held it out to me. "Oh…thank you."

"No problem." He held it open so I could slide my arms in, then we continued walking together. When we got back to the hotel we had to sneak in through the back to avoid the fans. As nice as he is, we were both kind of tired and it was late, they should not be up this late on a school night! At least I think it's a school night…what day of the week is it?

Anyway, he walked me to my door and we stood there awkwardly.

"So um…thanks for dinner it was pretty great." I nodded twirling the rose around.

"Oh yeah no problem I had a good time, thanks for coming with." He nodded too and we stared at each other for a minute. Logan ran his tongue along his bottom lip and I just...panicked like a little bitch.

"Yeah! So um…thanks…I'll see you in the morning!" I squeezed his arm and slipped into the room closing it behind me. I could hear him chuckle before waking to his room.

WHAT!?

I know, I know I'm a super dumb bitch but I panicked. Yes I talk a big game and I want to sit on his face and lick chocolate out of his dimples…but this was all….sweet and nice and quite frankly it was romantic and I'm not used to that! This escalated rather quickly!


	9. Heh, Awkward!

**(Carlos'sCupcake- I LOVE GREMLINS!Ah, I was watching it the other day and I couldn't resist. YAY I'm glad they make oyu happy! Except for well Aim to Please, if that makes you happy then I'm not doing a good job o.o….**

**Layla . 595- lmao, logan should just walk around without pants.**

**Emy. Elle- hey dreaming of a date with logan sounds awesome! I wish I could do that!**

**PerfectPiranha- Don't worry about it, it's fine! But yes, Alex needs to not be a pussy and just go for the kill, I mean, for the dimples. **

**Paumichyy- yes logan's totally a sweetie!0**

**Soo there's a little shout-out in this chapter, I couldn't help myself. I had way too much fun with this lmao**

* * *

Oh man, last night's shindig was pretty awesome if I do say so myself. Ugh I should have kissed Logan though, I mean seriously? What a little pussy move that was! I should have grabbed him by those super sexy biceps, yanked him downward and shoved my tongue down his throat. Or at least found chocolate to put into his dimples….sigh. It was way too good to be true. Dinner was great, he got me a _rose_, we went bowling…ugh I had such a good time, and he's gorgeous looking, I mean. Fuck he's so handsome! Oh, and I forgot to give him his cardigan last night, so I decided to be cute and wear it today with a tank and jeans. Is that flirty? I don't know, maybe it's like a subtle way of marking my territory….

So right now we're leaving Houston and we're going to some other part of Texas…I usually don't figure out where we are until the bus stops. I just don't care until we stop because I know either way I'll forget while we're on the way there. So right now I'm just lying in my bunk, looking at…well fan fiction on my laptop. I wasn't lying when I said Logan's a handsome mother fucker. Ugh, I have what they say 'feels' for Logan and I'm dying to get some of that…so I went on fan fiction to read a few stories and well, after sorting through a LOT of them full of him fucking either Kendall, Carlos, or James, I finally found some where he was fucking girls.

Yeah …I have the smutty Logan 'feels' right now.

The first one I came across was this set of one-shots from SprinklzAndPixieDust, so she has like this set of one-shots called _A_ _Nerds Nourishment_.

Oh dear god.

So…this just totally has an animalistic totally dominant and incredibly sexy Logan and it's killing me. I mean…yeah the language is really vulgar but holy shit this makes me want to go up to Logan and say 'hey just please make me your bitch right now'. Or like, point out one of the chapters and tell him to do that to me. Ah man, sigh.

Then, I stumbled across Carlos'sCupcake who has a lot of smut about not just Logan, but ALL of the boys.

I might need to become friends with her. Oh my god.

There's one called _Rescue me_ where Logan is a firefighter, and there are handcuffs involved. Oh dear, you had me at handcuffs. Plus there's one _Maybe Losing Isn't So Bad_.

WHEN IS THE NEXT POSSIBLE SPORTS GAME I WILL BET WITH LOGAN RIGHT NOW.

Ugh, I was eating a Twix bar too, part of me wanted to pretend it was Logan but wow, how disappointing that would be, and well that would just be really creepy and weird.

All of them are good really. I mean, I read one for each of the guys and now I don't know if I can look at them without having the 'I want to fuck you senseless' eyes. Well anyway, I was busy reading _Rescue Me_ a second time because you know, I'm a sexually frustrated retard who didn't shove her tongue down his throat when she had the chance, and the curtain was yanked back and I saw Logan staring at me. I stared at him with wide eyes and he smirked glancing at the screen.

"Oh we're reading fan fiction huh? Let me see." He quickly took the laptop and ran away reading it.

"NO GIVE THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW LOGAN I SWEAR I WILL HURT YOU!" I shouted jumping out of the bunk and chasing him. He ran to the back of the bus and I quickly chased after him. While he was running he was reading the screen and he went all the way to the back, hiding in the corner with his back towards me as he read it. "LOGAN!" I huffed and smacked his back so he could turn around and give me the laptop. Eventually he turned around smirking and handed it to me.

"You know AJ if you didn't get enough of me last night, you could have just swung by the room, you didn't have to resort to some stories." He winked staring down at me. I know I turned blood red, I could feel it in my cheeks, ugh. I smacked his chest and turned away from him. Fuck that's…that's so beyond embarrassing nothing can even describe it. Fuck.

* * *

So we're at the venue and the guys just finished doing their meet and greet. I kind of…stayed away from Logan after that awkward encounter; I'm not quite sure how to deal with that. I mean that was awkward and embarrassing as hell. He caught me reading smut about him. Well, thank god I decided not to give that Twix any special treatment or things would have been REALLY bad after that. Anyways, I was chilling back stage on my phone when James walked past me and decided to go on a little rant as he rifled around the refrigerator for something to snack on.

"You know what irritates me?" Before I could even ask what he was already continuing his little fit. "I hate when a mom will come up to me and be like 'hey can you sign these?' and just yank down her tank top." James took a moment to yank down his tank top and show me his lovely non-existent tits. "Then suddenly I'm called a pervert for staring shocked for a second because this forty year old woman just yanked down her shirt in front of me!" James shook his head grabbing an apple. "I mean hell; there are small children around, and awkward teenagers! No one wants to see you yank down your shirt and expose your breast-feeding breasts to the world! Then if I don't want to sign them because well that's really inappropriate and awkward, I'm deemed an asshole and suddenly I have a gang of angry women after me! Let me tell you something Alex, if you ever become a mom and you're in your forties and you take your small child to a meet and greet, please for the love of god do not pull down your shirt and expose yourself to the guy. They're not going to sign the twins, and if they do they're just creepy." James huffed and finally bit into the apple violently.

"…So I'm going to assume a mom flashed you for an autograph huh?" I looked up at him and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Yeah, she did. At least I didn't get caught reading fan fiction about Logan." He smirked and sat beside me.

"HE TOLD YOU? Oh god." I brought my legs up on the seat and pressed my forehead against my knees. James laughed and patted my leg.

"Absolutely. We're guys, we blurt out everything—"

"Like gossiping women."

"Shut up." He playfully shoved me. "But anyway yeah, so, did you not get enough of Logan last night?" He asked laughing at me.

"I was just bored, and the story lines happen to be really good."

"It was smut, Alex."

"It's an art James." I tried to defend, but this just sent him into a fit of laughter. I growled and he quickly stopped laughing.

"Oh come on, if you learn to joke about it things won't be so awkward. You know, because we're all going to mess with you about it." He nodded ruffling my hair.

"Yeah I guess I could joke about it. I'll just say you're all jealous I didn't read about you guys." I nodded and looked over at him and he nodded too.

"That's the spirit." He took another bite of the apple. "So on a more serious note, do you like Logan?"

"…That escalated quickly."

"No it didn't." James shook his head. "Now tell me the truth don't bullshit me, you like him don't you?"

"Ugh….yeah I guess I do I mean…. We went out last night and it was so awesome. He actually got me a rose and we just had a good time."

"Plus you're wearing his sweater." He nodded tugging at the sleeve. "I'd say you're smitten with my boyfriend." I laughed at James and sighed with a nod.

"I don't know. Isn't he a flirt?"

"Well hell yeah Logan doesn't mind flirting around but when he's got his eyes set on a prize it's safe to say he's pretty focused on one thing. He took you out to dinner, you guys hung out; it's safe to say he's not going to act like a whore. I'd say he likes you." James said as he took another bite out of the apple.

"You really thinks so or are you just saying that so I don't feel stupid for going out with a flirty guy on Valentine's Day?"

"Nah I mean it. Why don't you ask him to hang out just the two of you again? Or flirt around with him. Oh, you know what you should do!" James snapped his fingers at the realization. "You need to get one really good prank on him, or scare the crap out of him. He loves doing that to people."

"How the hell would that help me?"

"He'll enjoy the playful side." James shrugged finishing the apple. Wow that was quick. "Oh, or you know what? He's always skateboarding around with Kendall. Just steal one of their boards and go for a ride with him."

"Dude I can't skateboard."

"Ha, you're fucked then." James laughed throwing the apple core into the garbage.

* * *

**Yeah, not sure what to do exactly between the two of them…cute/romantic or funny and stupid?**


	10. Awkward Sneeze

**(Carlos'sCupcake- haha I'm glad you found it so funny, I felt super silly when I was writing it and I couldn't resist.**

**LazyLazyWriter- hmmm…hopefully I got all of those in, I don't think I did but I tried.**

**Emy . Elle- Ha thanks, hope you checked it out and enjoyed it!**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust- Of course no problem, glad you liked the chapter!)**

* * *

Yesterday just flew right by after my talk with James, shortly after we were already performing on stage. All of us just showered, went on to the bus to go back to the hotel, and of course on the way there I was made fun of. I just told them all that they weren't hot enough to picture me fucking myself with them. That was a real blow to their egos, I felt a little bad, but after that they started ragging on each other so it all worked out. If they start picking on each other after a comment that usually means I'm free.

Well today we're free. We have a lovely two days off before we have to hit the road again which is a nice change, so I got out of bed, showered and walked down the hall banging on the door. Kendall opened the door and he looked like he had already been up for hours. Sigh, he and Carlos are such early birds I can't stand it. SLEEP IN LATE DAMN IT.

"Ohhh, hey Logan girl." Kendall laughed and I rolled my eyes. "What's up?"

"Can you teach me how to skateboard?" I sighed staring up at him. He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows leaning on the doorway.

"Hmmm, and is there a certain reason you want to learn to skateboard?" He questioned.

"Ugh fine, you got me! I want to get into Logan's pants. So will you help me or not?" Kendall chuckled and retreated into his room for quick minute before coming back out with two skateboards. He handed me one and the two of us walked downstairs, and snuck out the back door and walked a few blocks until we found an empty lot so that we could skate around in peace.

"So, you're going to skate your way into Logan's heart huh?" Kendall asked dropping the board on the ground and standing on it. He then proceeded to skate around me making circles, you know, just completely showing off while I stand here like a fucking moron who can't stand on a piece of wood.

"Yes Kendall I plan doing that now can you _please_ help me out? I'll buy you organic crap or something." Kendall stopped skating and stared at me.

"You mean that cereal I like? Holy Crap?"

That's such a fucking dumb name for cereal.

Okay, clever as hell, but that is stupid.

"That cereal tastes like complete crap I don't understand how you eat it!" I scoffed setting the board down in front of me and just settling on staring at it. Yeah, I'm not going to stand just yet because if I fall I feel as though Kendall will just laugh and leave me to fall and possibly die.

"Hey well I like it…so you and Logan can go buy your own cereal, your sweet…crappy Captain Crunch."

"Don't you dare speak ill of the captain!" I threatened playfully to which he just laughed it off.

"Alright first mate, just stand on that board." Kendall pointed down at the skateboard and I sighed standing up on it. I started wobbling, and I was not going to let myself fall alone so I gripped onto his shoulders, luckily he kept me steady. "Alright just move that foot back….you're going to push off with your right—"

"Nope that's not happening." I shook my head.

"You didn't even try! I'm holding your elbows dude."

"Okay, what if I fall and because you're holding my elbows, I fall and shatter something and I can't play guitar and—FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WHAT THE HELL!" Kendall had let go of me and proceeded to push me on the skateboard, while I was forced to wobble and stick my arms out, desperately trying not to fall.

"See it's not hard!" Kendall called out. Okay fine, balancing isn't that difficult he may have a point. Now just time to stick my foot out and push myself along—SON OF A BITCH. "Never mind!" In a few seconds Kendall was stopping his board in front of me and stepping down to help me up. When I stood I glanced at my hands and saw they were scraped and pouted.

"That whole leg moving thing? Yeah it's not working well with me."

"It was just your first try; you'll get if after a few shards of glass in your hands and falling on some dog crap." He laughed and went back to skating. Oh, wow, lovely way to phrase it now I really want to get back to doing it.

"Hey at least don't show off! Not yet!" I called out to him. Kendall was on his board and skating like if he was such a trained professional and hadn't a care in the world. He laughed and nodded putting his cell phone in his pocket before he continued to do a few tricks. That cute little son of a bitch. I got back on the board and continued to skate around, or well at least attempt to. You know? I'm not really all that good at this and quite frankly, Kendall isn't that good of a teacher as I thought he would be! So after falling for about the tenth time and scraping my knee on the concrete I sighed and threw myself back, lying on the concrete and staring at the sky. "Kendall you're not helping me at all!" I huffed but didn't get a single response. "Kendall?"

Oh motherfucker don't tell me that he ditched me. I was just about to yell in frustration but then I heard that familiar sound of wheels against the concrete and knew that he was skating towards me, so I closed my eyes and stuck my arms up. "Just pull me up please, I'm dying here." I felt him grab a hold of my arms and hoist me up but he didn't say anything. When I opened my eyes I was staring up at Logan who was smirking looking down at me. I quickly glanced around and Kendall was not in sight.

That son of a bitch.

"UHHHHH…..hello Logan…." I muttered looking up at him, you know, not freaking out that he was still holding my arms. Okay, inside my head I was still freaking out a bit.

"Hey AJ, learning to skateboard huh?" He smirked and let his hands run up and down my arms.

No, ovaries behave damn it!

"Uh….yeah Kendall's supposed to be teaching me how to skateboard but um…I don't see him anymore."

"No you'll be learning with me today." Logan grinned staring at me.

Oh dear god. KENDALL KNIGHT YOU SNEAKY, CLEVER SON OF A BITCH!

THANK YOU!

"Okay well not going to lie, I fall quite a lot."

"Hmm, I don't think you'll be falling around here unless it's for me." Logan winked at me, guiding me towards the skateboard.

Well, here goes the ovary explosion.

So Logan got me back on the board and held my hands as he pulled me along so I could get a feel of balancing on the board. After dragging me around for a bit, he still held my hands as I got used to that whole kicking thing that Kendall was trying to get me to do. Well, now I understand why he was being such a shitty teacher, he was trying to set it up so Logan would teach me. That sly bastard. So I was kicking around trying to balance myself and the skateboard just slipped out from under me. I fell backwards but Logan wrapped his arms around me from behind catching me.

OVARIES. DOWN.

"See that? Didn't let you fall did I?" Logan whispered into my ear.

"N-no…." I shook my head quietly and just let Logan keep his arms wrapped around me. Logan turned me around and placed his hand on my cheek pulling me closer. Oh my god, OH MY GOD HE'S GOING TO KISS ME.

Never mind.

Just as he would have placed his lips on mine I had to pull away and turn to the side to sneeze. God damn it.

"Wow." Logan laughed shaking his head." What was that? You sound like a mouse."

"Oh shut up!" I muttered shoving him playfully. Well, isn't that embarrassing, I'm about to get a super nice kiss and I of course have to sneeze like a mouse and ruin it. Well isn't that a load of shit luck that I have? Ugh.

"Shut up huh? You're going to tell me to shut up AJ?" Logan challenged looking down at me.

"Damn right I am Logie-Bear."

"Make me." He smirked stepping closer and closing the gap between us. Oh god, a challenge. Logan just challenged me to shut him up. Alright Alex, no more pussy moments and you already sneezed so you have nothing left to stop you really. Just pray that your tongue still tastes like the lifesavers you had and pucker up. So I looked up at Logan, grabbed him by his t-shirt and pulled him down to my level so I could plant one right on him. His arms wrapped around me and really, there was no room between us. We were so close that when my chest expanded to get some air, yeah…..that wasn't happening I just had to suffocate for a few seconds.

But that was totally worth it.

When we pulled away from each other Logan had that…sexy little grin on his face, and again I had to fight the urge to find chocolate to shove into those dimples and lick it out.

"Well if that's how you'll shut me up, I don't think I'll ever stop talking." He chuckled putting his hands on my waist.

"Wow, when did you get so suave huh?"

"Please, I've always been this suave, why do you think you fell for me on Valentine's Day huh?" He raised an eyebrow grinning.

OH THAT SEXY SON OF A BITCH.


	11. Twitter Official

**(paumichyy- yes they did! Yay!**

**Stephanie . E . M- aw why thank you!**

**Emy . Elle- lol well glad you enjoyed her stuff! Sneezing before a kiss, it's the most classy thing ever.**

**LazyLazyWriter- thanks very much! **

**Carlos'sCupcake- HA YOU STARTED TO GET THE FEELS! I'm glad oyu enjoyed it, with confident Logan and stuff, this chapter was a slow little one but I'll pick it up next time when I figure out what to do.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust- glad you liked it!**

**Taylor Shine- YAAAY im glad you think it's great)**

* * *

Okay so after that drop dead sexy kiss we decided to just say fuck it to the whole skateboarding thing. Well no, not really. I said fuck it to the whole skateboarding thing and settled on watching Logan do a few tricks before he decided that he loved to laugh at me falling all over the place. So he skated alongside me.

Honestly it was pretty damn cute. We were facing each other as we were skating so you know, we were side by side with our arms outstretched, holding hands because my dumb ass would fall. I mean really, if there was a lady bug in front of one of the wheels that bitch would flip my skateboard over and break my nose and wrists and my boobs would pop. Not that they're fake, but I just feel like that would happen to any girl's rack if the impact is too hard… Which leads me to my next thought, if a guy like smacks a girl's boobs really hard during sex….what if they pop? What does the guy do, tape the hole up, blow into the nipple and refill them? God it's sad to say that these are the thoughts that run through my mind.

"Logan." I whined skating around with him. "I need nourishment, and maybe a bath full of peroxide to clean these cuts." Logan looked down to see my knees scraped up, bruising on my shins, then let's not forget my cut up palms and forearms.

"Damn right you do, you look like you gave me head on a bed of nails." He threw his head back and laughed at his own dirty joke. WELL!

I'm a bit shocked.

Amused as hell but shocked. So to deal with the shock I shook my head and shoved him in the chest, and he flew off of the skateboard, but yanked me down on top of him. Of course like a typical girl I squealed and landed on top of him, but my nice, scratched up palms helped me catch myself before I would have suffocated him with my boobs. "Damn….my plan has been foiled." He sighed shaking his head and staring at my chest.

"You're an idiot." I laughed and swatted his chest before standing up and pulling him to his feet. "Seriously let's go, I'm mangled, hurt, and starving."

"Ohhh I get it, you need me to take care of you." Logan chuckled picking up the board and draping his other arm around my shoulders after I picked up mine. "That's fine, all you had to do was ask."

"God, my Twitter followers were right for warning me about you. You are a cocky little one." I chuckled walking with him and he smirked looking down at me.

"Little one? I wouldn't exactly say that…." He looked ahead as though he implying he was not little was just so casual. No, that is not casual, that is giving me false hope that you sir have a big dick. If you do not have a big dick then I'm REALLY going to be upset and devastated and all that I've learned from the fan fiction world would be a lie and that'd just be terrible.

"You being cocky is going to be your downfall Logan I hope you know that."

"Not unless it's the truth." He laughed and the two of us walked back to the hotel. Of course we tried to avoid the crowd of teenage girls that were there and trying to reach his penis, but we had been spotted and oh dear god, I've never seen teenagers run so fast before. Luckily some security was there and they managed to get to us before those girls did…..but damn…. Logan at least signed as many pictures and books that he could before we walked inside. I didn't sign that much because Logan was there and let's be honest, they wanted him badly. Somehow we managed to get inside, and Logan somehow made it in with all of his clothing on and without getting someone pregnant. We quickly slipped into the elevator and rode it all the way up to our floor. "I think one of them grabbed my ass…."He muttered feeling his butt. "I can't feel my left cheek."

"Your fans are horny little devils Logan. I wouldn't be surprised if they bit it too."

"Oh, is that true AJ? Maybe they got it from some smut that they read." He joked as we stepped out of the elevator. I snorted and shoved him with my elbow before walking to Kendall's room. "Hey, I thought I won you over not Kendall."

"Relax I'm just giving him his board back." I banged on the door and Kendall opened it a few minutes later, I could hear James and Carlos in the background yelling but I have no idea why…..maybe they're….yeah I really don't know. "Hey thanks for ditching me asshole."

"Asshole? Me? Noooo." Kendall laughed shaking his head. "Did it go well?"

"Did it look like it went well?" I decided to joke around a bit and make it look bad by pointing to my bloody knees and scraped up palms. He raised an eyebrow and looked behind me at Logan, who when I turned around to stare at him he gave a thumbs up and a stupid grin.

"Ha. That's a yes. Come on." He opened the door wider for the two of us, so as I was walking in I handed Kendall the board and walked over to Carlos and James. They were fucking around with the window.

No really, just fucking around with a window. Opening and closing it.

Every time James opened the window and stuck his head out there was insane screaming going on, I mean really…you would think that there was a bullet heading towards these girls! Then Carlos would open it and stick his head out and they would be going crazy too. I feel like pulling a Michael Jackson move and just dangle these boys out the window.

Oh my god….

If I could go and put a rope around the four of them and dangle them from the balcony….it would be like dangling fish in front of a shark. OH I WANT TO TRY THIS-That's a little sick I feel like they would get kidnapped or raped, maybe I shouldn't do that.

Okay, so after I decided not to try to get them raped and kidnapped I went to the bathroom to wipe off the blood. I don't really like…using peroxide and all those things you _should_ be using to take care of yourself. I just use hot water, it burns all the same. If it burns that means it's working….

Those are wise words to live by.

After cleaning myself up a bit I left the bathroom and saw James standing on the balcony waving down at them and dancing very silly

"Does James know that one of those teenage girls will probably attempt to scale the wall, climb up here, and rape him?" I asked aloud.

"Nope." The three of them answered as they watched James tease the fans. I shrugged and slipped out onto the balcony while James was starting to back up to get inside the room.

"OH MY GOD JAMES DIAMOND!" I yelled behind him. James yelped and jumped while spinning around quickly to see who was behind him. I of course was doubled over in laughter.

"Oh that is so not funny!" James huffed straightening himself out.

"Totally was." I nodded and left the balcony with James following behind me.

"Yeah uh huh. So did your little skating plan work out?" He questioned shutting the door behind him.

"After Kendall tricked her yeah." Carlos added with a laugh.

"Oh nicely done Kendall." James and Kendall high fived before he flopped down on a lounge chair. Oh what the hell, were they all plotting against me? Jeez, I need more vaginas on this trip. I honestly feel like these guys _have_ to be fucking each other somehow. Also, they're always one step ahead of me, what the fuck is this bullshit? I glanced over at Logan who was laughing at something the guys were saying. Honestly sometimes I just blank out at what they're saying, they go into this crazy back and forth banter and as funny as it is, sometimes I just don't feel like paying attention. Logan glanced over at me, smiled, and leaned in to give me kiss.

"So can I put that on Twitter so your fans threaten to kill you?" Carlos asked bringing his phone down to his lap. Of course he caught a picture of that, why am I not surprised? Shit last week he caught a picture of me walking to the front of the bus with my eyes closed, hair sticking up and just reaching for a candy bar on the counter.

"I don't mind." I shrugged. What? They already think I'm fucking one of these guys, let's at least validate it. "How about you Logie-bear?"

He sighed shaking his head at that nick name while James just laughed and high fived me. "Yeah go ahead." Logan nodded. We all instantly took out our phones to see the reactions. I'm sorry but they are so funny and amusing. You know, when you're not getting a death threat. Actually some of the death threats are pretty funny too…

"Alright it's done…" Carlos said, as though we had just sacrificed someone or sold one of us on eBay. Seconds later we saw the tweets just flood in. "Alright someone said 'OF COURSE LOGAN INITIATES NEW GIRL WITH HIS TONGUE!'".

Hmmm, interesting initiation, I can dig it.

"Alright, someone told me. 'How did you not get some of that ass?' Ahh…I tried." James sighed shaking his head.

"No you didn't you idiot." I laughed and shoved him in the chest.

"You don't know that!"

"Did you?"

"Nah." He laughed shaking his head. "What about you Kendall?"

"I just got the same person asking for me to do a cover with over a song. I guess you and I will have to please them." Kendall dramatically sighed.

"Don't worry we will." I chuckled and glanced down at the phone. "Okay, some girl just tweeted me saying 'I give it 2 weeks, then I'll take him for a spin'….that was lovely. I think she's like twelve too…dear god…hormones." Jeez. I hope I at least take him for a spin within these two weeks.

"And I got a shit ton just saying how you're no good for me. Now just how bad are you AJ?" Logan joked staring at me.

Hehe well….

"Okay, let's do this." I quickly went on YouTube and searched up a video I know I'm in. After a minute I found it and showed it to them. The video of course is titled: GF makes BF think he's buried alive!

Well, maybe I'll explain that little bit after they watch the video….

"Holy shit." Logan blinked after the video was done and stared at me. "Didn't know you were capable of that."

"Yeah well…" I shrugged. "He went out partying on our one year anniversary, so I got back at him." I smiled wickedly.

HA, Logan's regretting his decisions now.


	12. White Ass Cheek

**(LazyLazyWriter- we all would secretly love to do that to the boys lmao.**

**Carlos'sCupcake- Oh yeah see in this situation it's totally okay because they're grown men being sacrificed to teenagers lmao. But yeah I remember seeing that on the news and even being younger I was definitely saying "WTF is wrong with him?"**

**Emy . Elle- Yeaahh I get a bit graphic lmao. Hey sometimes you just have to get revenge on people, and I just happen…to think of weird things to do.**

**Taylor Shine- so glad you love it!**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust- You know? Google has everything, so they HAVE to have an answer. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.)**

* * *

So Kendall and I are just chilling backstage in Florida with our guitars. We keep getting asked to do more covers because apparently he used to do them but stopped on his YouTube page, so we've been asked to make more. So…..we figured why not? We were practicing for about an hour to make sure we didn't look like retards and screw up.

"Alright, ready to go?" Kendall asked as he quickly tuned his guitar back up.

"Yeah just set it up." I nodded sitting on the stool while Kendall sat on the chair in front of the laptop. He turned on the video camera and began to record.

"Hey guys! I'm Kendall and behind me is Alex! So you guys requested I do another cover so… the two of us are doing She's A Lady—"

"Tom Jones edition." I nodded from behind him. Kendall laughed, looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head.

"No! Not that!" He laughed and went back to the camera. "She's A Lady from Forever The Sickest Kids! Alright so….1…2…3...and—" Kendall counted the both of us in. He was the main vocals of course, I was just doing backup while I played the guitar. When we finished our song we blew kisses to the camera before he stopped it and proceeded to upload it on you tube.

"Hey….what are the guys doing?" I questioned as I put Scarlet back in her case.

"Uhhh, I think they're working out. Why?"

"Oh no reason." I stood up with a devious grin on my face. "Might give the Twitter people some porn."

"Of course you will." Kendall laughed and followed me as I took off to find the guys. We spotted them in the back working out of course. Except now they actually stopped working out and they were just goofing off. Well, this is the perfect time to film them. So I started to film them on my phone and watched as James took off his shirt and stood in front of the mirror trying to move his man tits.

"OH OH OH I DID IT HA!" He laughed and walked away from the mirror pulling his shirt on. Carlos stood in front and flexed his sexy arms while making a 'grr' face. Logan just walked over and stood behind him making a really disgusting looking face that sent Carlos and me into a fit of laughter. They all turned around to see Kendall and I basically laughing and recording them. Logan quickly put on an angry face and started stalking towards me.

"Oh fuck." I glanced at Kendall who stuck his hand out. I gave him my phone and took off running as soon as Logan started sprinting towards me. "WAIT THIS CAN BE CONSIDERED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!"

"No it can't!" Logan shouted behind me chasing me. I can only imagine by the sound of his laughter and footsteps that Kendall is running behind us to record Logan chasing my ass down like a hunter chasing a rabbit. I laughed making a sharp turn just as Logan would have grabbed my shirt; it was great he stumbled forward and everything. I continued to laugh thinking that I was the best person in the entire world until I realized I ran down a dead end hallway where all the doors happened to be locked. I turned around to see Logan running in and smiling proudly, with Kendall sticking his hand out from behind the wall to film. Logan came up to me and proceeded to make a sound effect as he pretended to punch me in the face and threw me over his shoulder.

"Hey! Where are we going?" I questioned staring down at his butt as he walked. What? I'm hanging over his shoulder, there isn't much to look at you know. Well, except his ba-donk.

"I don't know, I'm probably going to throw you off the stage or something." He answered as he carried me. I lifted my head to look up at Kendall who was following and laughing.

"Logan that might kill her."

"Yeah…." Logan sighed dreamily. HEY! Asshole! Well if you want to play that game then fine I can definitely play that game. As he was walking I grabbed a hold of the waistband of his sweatpants and quickly pushed them down exposing his bright red underwear. "HEY!"

"HA ARE YOU GETTING THIS KENDALL!?"

"Yes I am." Kendall laughed shaking his head. Logan struggled to pull up his sweatpants without putting me down, so I grabbed the band of his underwear and yanked that down a bit exposing a white ass cheek. "Oh god too much for my eyes." Kendall said shielding his eyes.

"HEY!" Logan put me down and pulled up his pants. I took off running away from him while Kendall teased Logan about being foiled by me. Ah, that's right bitch, I don't go down without a fight. I ran back to the room they were originally in to see Carlos talking to his phone while James was grabbing a towel to probably go take a shower.

"…So yeah he's totally hunting her ass down now to probably kill her or—Hi Alex!" Carlos waved at me then gasped. "OH MY GOD BEHIND YOU!" That's when he turned off the video on his phone, and at that same time I turned around to see Logan standing behind me. Holy shit he's quiet! You know, considering how pale he is, and that he moves silently…maybe he's a vampire… I jumped back and ran behind Carlos, jumping over their weights and trying to avoid Logan. But damn him, every step I took he jumped in front of me to cut me off. I quickly slipped past him and went sprinting out of that room, now Carlos and Kendall were following us to see what would happen. I ran out of the stadium hoping I could hide somewhere outside. Maybe I'll climb a tree; I don't think he knows how to climb trees so I should be okay…. OH

I'LL HIDE IN CATERING, THEY LOVE ME THERE!

So I started running around the side of the building so I could get to catering from the outside. I turned around quickly and noticed that Logan was rapidly gaining speed. Well fuck, he just worked out, he should be tired and not able to chase me. Or maybe I'm just that much out of shape… so as I was running I heard 'open the door' being shouted by Logan.

Yeah that doesn't concern me at all….

Then I felt Logan's arms wrap around my waist and myself being lifted off the ground.

"OH NO YOU PUT ME DOWN LOGAN!"

"Nope can't do that. You exposed my ass to the world." Logan sighed dragging me. Logan quickly pushed me into something and slammed the door shut.

Oh my god.

OH MY GOD!

HE SHOVED ME IN THE ICE BOX!

LOGAN THAT SON OF A BITCH!

"LOGAN LET ME OUT!" I yelled pushing on the door. I could hear Carlos laughing hysterically in the background along with Kendall. I tried kicking the door open but I guess they're just all holding it closed. Those assholes.

"IT'S COLD IN HERE!"

"Because it's a freezer!" Kendall shouted. Yes I know that, asshole. I'm just cold.

"It's a summer tour, sometimes you just have to keep cool." Logan said as though he was in a commercial. God, he's probably talking to the camera all cool and calm. Asshole.

"Logan let me out my ass is getting numb from the ice!" I whined kicking the door. It really is, and it is not a fun feeling.

"Alright, I will let you out but…."

"BUT WHAT FUCKING LET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"Okay okay, I will let you out if….you promise to take the sprite and banana challenge."

That sounds really weird.

"What is that?"

"You have to eat two bananas then drink 2 liters of Sprite right after, and if you do it I'll take you out on a date."

…It's bananas and soda. Yeah okay I can do that, especially to go out with Logan right after.

"Okay yes I'll do it just let me out its cold!"

Seriously, it's really fucking cold I don't even know if my ass is still attached to me at this point. Thankfully the door opened and it felt like I was coming out of the womb, seriously. It was dark inside and then all of a sudden this bright light poured in and a hand reached in to help me out. It was crazy. I grabbed ahold of Logan's hand and let him pull me out. As soon as I was out I started jumping up and down in the sunlight to try and get warm. Jesus, what a dick, I'm going to have to get him back for that.

"So, Alex Jones, you are accepting the Sprite and Banana challenge?" Kendall questioned aiming the camera at me.

"Yes I am, doesn't seem hard." As soon as I said that they all had sinister looks on their faces.

"Well then, let's get started." Carlos cackled and started walking back inside. Kendall stopped the video and handed me the phone so I could upload it later. I followed them inside catering to grab a liter of soda and two bananas. As we were heading back James was just leaving the bathroom from his shower. Carlos told him what was going on and he threw his head back and laughed.

Why do I feel like I might die today?

We walked into the dressing room and I went to Carlos' laptop to upload my video, so while I'll be doing the challenge the first video will be uploading and Carlos will be filming me.

"So, the prize is a date with _the_ Logan Mitchell. Are you ready?" Carlos questioned holding the camera to my face.

"Born ready." I nodded and reached for the first banana.

Yeah this seems like a bad idea…

**TO BE CONTINUED…MUAHAH**


	13. The AftermathOh Dear God

**(SprinklzAndPixieDust- Oh yeah Logan definitely has a pasty white ass lmao. Oh and soda and bananas isn't as easy as it sounds!**

**Emy . Elle- Lmao I hope this update is soon enough so you don't kick my ass!**

**Taylor Shine- and when school starts, they give me an excuse not to do it! WOO! Enjoy!**

**Carlos'sCupcake- I'm glad you like my fun and crazy stories, that makes me feel great! Oh um, proceed with caution on googling that little challenge lmao. It's gross.)**

**Oh, if you have not heard of the Banana Sprite challenge…..Google it.**

* * *

So I peeled both of the bananas so I would have them ready to go and not waste time in between by peeling it. After all, I'm trying to get a second date with Logan here and I need to do my best.

"Okay, Alex Jones is now reaching for the first banana, so the challenge starts…now." James said with a nod. I shook my head and got to work on the first banana while Kendall walked over with a garbage can. Dear god I really hope I don't need that. While I was inhaling those bananas the boys were all talking to the camera.

"So this is going to be really disgusting. I suggest you look away." Carlos advised.

"Yeah, she doesn't know it yet but she'll barf her lungs out." Kendall said with a nod.

"You're sitting beside me Kendall; I'd be careful what you say." I warned glancing at him. He blinked then quickly scooted far away from me on the sofa.

"So AJ if you don't barf where would you like to go?" Logan asked sitting back in his chair and propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"Surprise me." I muttered finishing the last banana.

"Oh boy, no more bananas, it's about to get serious." James said with a nod once again. I rolled my eyes and gave him the middle finger before twisting the cap off of the sprite.

"How ya feeling Alex?" Carlos questioned.

"I feel fine…it's just bananas you guys it's not like I'm chugging a gallon of milk." See now if it was the gallon of milk challenge I would not have done it. It's disgusting, no one wants to throw up a gallon of milk, I wouldn't be able to have milk after that either! Guarantee it would somewhat traumatize me. Anyways, I tipped my head back and started to chug the soda and the guys all cheered for the first few seconds.

"Damn she's chugging that like a champ…looks like you'll have to make good on your promise Logan." Kendall remarked watching me chug the soda. Ha. Yes. I can in fact chug soda like a boss—oh something doesn't feel right. I put my hand on my stomach because I could feel the soda bubbling around in there. You know when you pour soda over a pile of ice cream and it instantly starts foaming and going crazy? Yeah it feels like that's going on in my stomach right now.

"Oh god it's gonna happen." James said moving away.

"She's gonna spew!" Carlos yelled.

These assholes I really wish they'd stop saying that. I continued to chug the soda but the bubbling was too much and I could feel it all the way up until it hit the back of my throat. I slammed the bottle down on the table and I just lurched forward, gagging with the taste of bananas and Sprite in the back of my throat. I grabbed the bucket and as soon as I opened my mouth, white foam shot out followed by the chewed up banana, which now looked like the crushed banana you would put in banana bread.

"OH IT'S COMING OUT OF HER NOSE!" Kendall laughed hysterically as the foam started to pour out of my nose. My body lurched forward again and the yellow, white vomit turned red and pink.

"There goes the pizza we ate for lunch. Delicious." James nodded with a straight face. I kept on puking, hugging the bin as though my life depended on it, and I really think it does at this point. When I stopped violently throwing up my lunch, bananas, and Sprite, I hung my head while slowly placing the bin back down on the floor.

"…See that kids? Don't try that at home." Carlos warned while Kendall soothingly rubbed my back. I groaned hugging my stomach, ugh….vomiting. That is not fun.

OH AND NOW I CAN'T GO ON THAT DATE WITH LOGAN GOD DAMN IT!

I'm going to kill my stomach. I'll stab her, or eat something healthy just to get even with her. That bitch.

"It's okay AJ; I'll still take you out on that date." Logan said reaching over to squeeze my shoulder. Awww…

"AWW!" The guys yelled loudly.

"What a sweetheart! Guys, learn from this man right here." Carlos said, pointing his finger at Logan before ending the video. I covered my face and groaned again.

"Dear god, why would you let me do that?"

"To see if you'd actually do it." Logan chuckled and all of them were laughing. "Welcome to the family."

"Really? That's how you welcome everyone?"

"Officially? Yes." James nodded. "We make them do a stupid challenge. One guy did a cinnamon challenge, oh and our APP? We had him do the one gallon milk chug. Oh that was bad…"

"Especially since it was rotten." Kendall cringed. Oh dear god these guys are assholes!

"You guys are real dicks…"I muttered standing up. "I need to go brush my teeth…maybe shower. I feel gross."

"You go do that." Logan nodded, "Don't forget, we have a date tomorrow bright and early."

"Why?" I whined.

"Because we have a show later on, can't miss that." He chuckled. "Just be up at around ten, dress casual." And with that Logan was off. Huh, I hope I don't wake up in bitch mode tomorrow. Ten seems too early…

* * *

This better be the best fucking date in the world. It is too god damn early in this god forsaken planet to be alive right now! I went to bed at five, yes that is my own fault, I was trying to catch up on One Tree Hill on Netflix and well, I slept late. Still though, this is an unholy hour. I better get laid or—no I don't even want to get laid right now I'm pissed. I hate the mornings, I hate waking up, this is cruel, unfair and –

"Coffee?" I looked up from the concrete to see Logan standing there holding out a cup of coffee for me. I had gotten dressed and ready and he wasn't on the bus by the time I was done so I stood outside leaning on the side of the bus and staring at the concrete like a pouty little brat. I took the Starbucks cup and sipped it. Oh….iced mocha, my favorite. Okay this might be a bit better now.

"Thank you." I nodded taking a long sip.

"Yeah well you had those eyes that said you could kill, and you threatened Carlos that if he walked into the bathroom before you did that you'd rip his dick off so I figured you could use some coffee to wake you up." He chuckled and took a sip of his own drink before walking over to one of the black cars and opening the door for me. I climbed in while he took to the driver's seat and began to drive.

"Yeah….I uh…am not a morning person."

"I've noticed." Logan chuckled with a nod.

"So….yeah. Anyway where are we going?"

"We're going on a date, you forgot already?" He glanced over to me and smiled and I rolled my eyes. How very funny Logan.

"So funny….I know we're going on a date!"

"Then your question….?"

"….You think you're cute don't you?"

"Oh I think I'm precious." He grinned at me with those damn perfect dimples and crooked grin and just continued to drive. He's lucky my ovaries like him or I would have smacked his head on the dashboard. After driving for a little bit with him completely dodging my questions he pulled up at a go-kart track. Oh sweet. "Come on, I thought it'd be cool to have a bit of a race…"

"A race huh? And what do I get if I win?" I questioned as we walked inside.

"Well what do you want?" Logan asked while he paid for the two of us.

Your dick Logan, that's exactly what I want.

"You owe me…..a kiss. A really awesome breath-taking kiss. Oh, and you have to perform the first set of songs on stage in a dress."

"Are….are you kidding me?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Nope. What do you want if you win?" I asked him as we walked over to our cars. I settled into a bright green one, oh yeah, he went into a black one, lame.

"You have to make out with me and….." Logan thought for a moment as they secured him in the vehicle. "Clean the bus in a French maid's outfit." He smirked at me and bit his lip. Oh, so that's the game we're playing. It is so on bitch.

"Bring it on Logie-Bear." I reached over and shook his hand. The two of us kept our eyes on the road and gripped out steering wheels. As soon as it started Logan was speeding off leaving me in the dust. Ahh, but that's a terrible start. You never want to start off super-fast. So soon enough I crept up behind him and eventually passed him. I could hear him yelling at me but I ignored what he had to say.

I'm so evil.

To keep him from passing me I would always glance back quickly to see where he was driving to and I would just drive right in front of him, completely blocking his way. Of course my epic tactic allowed me to be the winner. I glanced over and Logan was so pissed.

"WOO! I am the winner I am so great and amazing! Alex Jones is so fantastic and epic!" I sang dancing my way out of the track while Logan walked behind me with a sour face. "Oh man, I hope that dress shows a lot of leg Logan, I love legs." I remarked with a cackle before slapping him on the rear.

"So not funny."

"Oh it is SO funny." I laughed looking up at him. "Hey I won, don't be a sour puss!"

"Fine…" He sighed shaking his head. "I can't believe I lost, I'm the one with the fast cars, you….with your crappy truck."

"Excuse me my crappy truck is a Spartan, your car is just a pretty young thing that happens to go really fast. My truck can take a beating." I shrugged walking with him over to the food court, where we shared a disgustingly good breakfast of funnel cake with strawberries and whipped cream on top. "You know, you owe me something." I said as I dug my fork into the cake.

"Oh, do I?" He raised an eyebrow acting like he forgot that I deserve a sexy kiss.

"Um...yes!" I pouted staring at him and he grinned slowly leaning down. I closed my eyes expecting my amazing kiss, but instead he just bit the tip of my nose and walked away. "Oh you asshole!" I pouted walking behind him.

"Patience is a virtue." He chuckled and dumped the funnel cake before grasping my hand and pulling me over to a photo booth. The two of us slid inside and Logan wrapped an arm around me as he picked the options for the pictures. We made silly faces for the first three photos until I felt him kiss my temple for one of them. So I returned the favor by kissing his cheek for another, and then the last one which I thought would be a full on kiss was him making a crazy face and a thumbs up while I put an angry face on.

Ugh. He's such a little tease. He messes around with me with his fucked up jokes and comments but he's sweet….he's like…I don't know. Sour candy.

After we took our pictures I of course took a photo of the strips and put them on twitter before I shoved them in my bag so we wouldn't lose them. Logan and I went through the haunted house, which honestly was quite hilarious. Except the end where some guy ran in front of us and shook me by the shoulders. See I didn't know they could run up and grab you; they've changed since my day.

"Your scream busted my ear…" Logan muttered holding his ear.

"I didn't know they could run up to you and shake you!" I said in defense, glancing back at the haunted house.

"I don't think they can…I think they did it because you were laughing the whole time."

"Well Logan, was the woman with her severed head on a table with her mouth wide open, tongue hanging out really all that scary?"

"No." He chuckled shaking his head. "Looked like a blow job gone wrong."

"Exactly." I laughed and squeezed his hand. I can get used to this whole hand-holding thing. I can dig it. Anyways, after that idiotic haunted house we went on a few roller coasters. One of them had a loop and when we went upside down Logan lost his sunglasses.

I told him not to keep them on to look cool, but did he listen?

Nope.

After that we went to play a few games. So if there is one game I dominate in, it's the ring toss. I don't know why, but that's always been my crack. So of course I challenged him.

"Don't let me win!" I warned.

"Oh I won't." Logan chuckled. I let him go first and it was a bad throw, obviously he wants to let me win. I went next and it landed right on the bottle for the highest amount of points. His face was priceless, so when he went to do it again it looked like he was actually trying, but no dice, he got maybe five points? Anyway, the game continued on and I absolutely raped him. I pointed at the Scooby Doo plush and handed it to him. "There you go baby." I winked at him.

"Way to make me feel like a man." He muttered holding Scooby under his arm and shaking his head. I laughed and hugged him.

"Aw, if you don't want Scooby—"

"No I want Scooby." He said quickly. Ha, he likes Scooby and the doll. Good.

"Then don't complain!" I chuckled and well…due to Logan's manhood being stomped on by that game we went to play a few others. Logan ended up winning me a really big stuffed Tiger, I plan on sleeping with that thing, and it's so cute and fluffy.

Yeah, I'll sleep with a stuffed animal, I don't care, you don't know me!

Anyways, we ended up going on a few more rides and grabbing a lunch of hotdogs, beer, and cheese fries. Really disgusting, we'll get sick later but you know, it's worth it. On our way back to the venue we stopped by a department store to pick out a dress for Logan. I got him a sexy little number, a red one shoulder dress to compliment his super white skin. It was a little slutty too; if he twirls too much the ladies will be happy.

Oh god…I really am a terrible person.

So we went back to the venue, Logan parked the car and the two of us walked out. We went into the bus to put our prizes down before going inside where everyone else was. When I turned around from tucking the new Tiger into my bed Logan was standing there and towering over me. I raised an eyebrow and his response was to cup my face and kiss me.

Okay, so yeah I'm totally fine with that.

A few minutes later I got some tongue.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely okay with this, someone remind me to make bets more often.


	14. Best Week Ever

**(Carlos'sCupcake- Yay you had the Logan feels! I feel so accomplished! You won't have them here, but yay for the last chapter working effectively!**

**LazyLazyWriter- thank you!**

**Taylor Shine- hope you enjoy this one!**

**Emy . Elle- thank god for no ass whooping, I was frightened. Ah sorry I wasn't descriptive enough on that kiss.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust- Lmao did she eat the bananas and Sprite? Ah man that's an intense food challenge. Hope you like this chapter!)**

**You know? I don't really have a plot for this lmao, I'm just having fun with it right now. **

* * *

Okay so I'm pretty much an evil asshole _but_, the evil asshole in me is incredibly hilarious. So I'm on my little platform on stage with my guitar. I'm playing the intro and watching the guys come out one by one. This is the beginning of the show mind you and I was just about to piss myself when Logan came on stage, and I imagine all the girls in the audience are about to pee too. Logan ran out in that slutty red dress and oh dear god the entire crowd was _screaming_. He did a backflip too, but the smart bastard was wearing spandex shorts underneath so there was no gratuitous shot of his junk and ass. Dude I will give him full credit, he performed the first song like a champion, not even acknowledging the fact that he was in a slutty dress.

"How you guys doing tonight!?" James shouted into the microphone after the first song. Of course the girls screamed their heads off.

"Do you guys like Logan's dress?" Carlos asked, leaning on Logan's shoulder who shook his head staring at the ground with a laugh.

"Logie here lost a bet." James laughed hysterically.

"Yeah he couldn't beat our guitarist in a race so now he's stuck wearing this fancy little number." Kendall answered while walking over to Logan and lifting the hem of the dress to show them a peak of his legs. "Not bad huh?" Oh god, I love these guys they're too much.

"Ah ha ha very funny yes I lost a bet." Logan said. "Whatever, I look great." He shrugged.

"Yeah you do buddy; you know Logan's also wearing a floral scented perfume and lip gloss." James said patting Logan on the back.

"You guys are so hilarious…"

"Not as hilarious as you look in that dress." Carlos laughed. Yes, that's true Logan looks amazingly funny, I should bought him a bow—AWW! FUCK I COULD HAVE BOUGHT HIM A CLIP ON BOW FOR HIS HAIR! God damn it, whatever next time I win a bet and kick his ass I'll make him wear a bow. Ohh….and maybe heels.

Anyways, we went through the rest of the songs before the costume change, so afterwards Logan came out in his little red and black adorable outfit, bye bye dress…. It was fun while it lasted at least.

Right at the end of the show when the boys were jumping off the trampoline to land in front of the crowd and do their really….cool poses, or whatever they like to call it, Logan jumped so high and just ate it when he fell. I mean I felt like putting my guitar down and running over to help him. First of all that was the highest he ever went, second, as soon as his feet hit the ground his legs just crumbled underneath him. Of course the boys laughed and pulled him to his feet. Oh man, what a bad day for Logan. I beat him at racing, get him Scooby, and forced him to wear a dress, now he fell on the ground. Oh man, let's not forget he fucked up a line during Invisible. Now I see why the guys rag on him so much.

HA!

* * *

"So Logan what was up with that fall?" The radio host Tom questioned. Logan chuckled shaking his head.

"Ah man, you know every show we just like to mess around with the trampoline."

"Oh yeah, see I'm not an idiot, but these three like to go higher and higher each show." James nodded.

"So I just totally ate it." Logan finished with a nod.

"So you fell…and you wore a dress. Good show for you huh?" Tom said. Oh man, good show is an understatement, I'm still laughing about it.

"So great. Were any of you guys at the show last night?" Carlos asked, and a handful of people raised their hands. "How pretty was Logan in his dress?"

"Good enough to date." James grinned leaning over and putting his hand on Logan's knee. Kendall threw his head back laughing while Logan just sat there trying to fight back a smile and shaking his head. Yup, I think they could be gay together.

"Okay so we have another question from Twitter…" Tom said looking at the hot pink card in his hand. Hot pink, huh, alright. "Kendall, what happened to your last guitarist, are you still a band?"

OH THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO KNOW BUT FORGOT TO ASK.

Wow, my priorities are skewed.

"Actually there was a conflict with what he wanted to do musically. Big Time Rush was not something he wanted to do permanently; he wanted to follow other dreams he had for himself. No we are not Heffron Drive anymore _but_ we are still really good friends, that's not going to change." Kendall answered with a nod. The entire crowd awed and Kendall chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, poor baby." James cooed leaning over and wrapping his arms around Kendall. Kendall wrapped his arms around James and the two hugged for a while.

"I feel lonely now." Carlos sighed and glanced at Logan.

"No." Logan laughed.

"You never cuddle anymore!" Carlos whined pretending to cry.

Wow…. Okay then I really…don't even know how to comment on that one.

"That actually brings me to my next question. Do you think you and Alex would start a band?" Tom asked Kendall. He shrugged and leaned over his stool to look at me.

"Don't know, hey Alex want to start a band?"

"Sure why not?"

"Sweet." Kendall nodded. "Well there you go, we'll call ourselves The Chill." He laughed. Okay so I know he's joking about that name….but I kind of like it.

"Nice, now I've got a few more questions but I believe these ladies are dying to hear a song." Tom said and the guys nodded.

"Oh yeah definitely, we'll sing a song that Logan _won't_ mess up, right Logie bear?" James turned to Logan who shook his head.

"We'll just do Music Sounds Better With you." Logan nodded and turned to wink at me.

NO DON'T DO THAT! DON'T WINK AT ME MY OVARIES CAN TELL WHEN YOU DO SUCH THINGS! Ugh. Now I'm just going to think about throwing him against the wall and having my way with him, or vice versa. Well, after that fun little number the questions just started rolling in again.

"So Delilah from Orlando asks Logan if you and Alex are officially boyfriend and girlfriend?" Tom glanced at Logan with a smirk. Logan opened his mouth to answer but James jumped in

You son of a bitch.

"Oh I'm going to answer this." James said sitting up which made everyone laugh. "They are at the dating stage right now, they are not at the 'oh my god we're exclusive you meet my parents I meet yours and your mom will say she hates me', yeah they haven't reached that yet." James chuckled at his high pitched imitation of…probably me. "See you teens…you little younglings you all rush everything. You guys are like 'I like you' 'I like you too' 'want to be my girlfriend'—"

"TOTES!" Kendall answered in a high pitched voice.

"Yeah just like that." James laughed. "See no, you have to do the whole courting thing. So they're at the dating phase, they're not official yet. Just Twitter dating official."

"Is there a difference?" Tom questioned.

"Oh absolutely." Carlos nodded. "The difference is one minute's worth of James ranting about that difference."

"Thank you. See that? Carlos gets me." James nodded. "Right here buddy." James patted his heart, as did Carlos.

"Glad you answered the question Logan." Tom laughed. "Oh this one's for Alex. Why Logan?"

"His amazing pasty skin makes me look tan so… yeah that was the real deciding factor." I nodded and people laughed.

"Ouch!" James chuckled patting Logan on the back.

"After all we went through?" Logan leaned forward to stare at me. "That's the only reason why?"

"Oh, I like your hair."

"She's kidding everyone; don't send her hate on twitter!" Carlos said quickly. "She loves little Logie Bear."

"If you say so….." I shrugged and strummed on the guitar.

"Wow, I think I see who wears the pants while dating." Tom commented

"Clearly not Logan, he's in the dress." Kendall chuckled. After that fun little bit we played Boyfriend, Cover Girl, and Windows Down. After that we all snuck out of the radio station so we could walk around and hopefully not be spotted. So we got into a car, drove a few blocks away and got out the car to walk. Everyone had sunglasses on, Carlos and Logan had their snapbacks on. Forgive me but Christ that is SO obvious. That's like Kendall walking out with a fucking fedora on his head; everyone can tell it's you!

Idiots.

Anyways, as we were walking to get some coffee I spotted a little boy sitting on the porch with what I'm going to assume is his grandfather. They had a box in front of them that said please take one, so naturally I walked away from the group without them noticing and ran right over.

"You can just take one, our dogs mated and we ended up getting 12 puppies."

PUPPIES!

I DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE STILL GAVE THEM OUT ANYMORE! OH MY GOD! COULD THIS WEEK GET ANY FUCKING BETTER!

I looked inside the box to see about six puppies. HOW DO I CHOOSE?!

"What breed?" I questioned.

"German Shepherd!" The little boy answered.

Oh god it's a box full of German Shepherd puppies, I can't, my heart is swollen. I don't even know which one to take—wait a minute. While I was too busy staring at all the little buggers one of them managed to bite a hole through the box and escape, and he sat right at my feet staring up at me. Well then I guess this is my new baby. Look at him all cute and white—OH MY GOD HE'S ALL WHITE.

"He's all white." I chuckled scooping the precious little baby into my arms.

"Yeah, the momma was white; they all took after their dad. 'Cept those other two." He pointed to two other German Shepherds who had mixed white and brown fur. "But he's the only full."

"I'll take him." I nodded.

"Go ahead."

"Wait you're just handing them out for free?"

"That's how we did it when I was a kid, that's how I'm doing it now. You look like you can give it a good home." He nodded. Oh my god, this is too cute.

"Hey do you like Big Time Rush?" I asked the little boy who nodded. I reached into my bag and leafed through with my hand before pulling out two tickets and VIP passes. We're doing another show in Orlando tomorrow night. I was going to give these to the niece of a friend of mine, but that little bitch is spoiled rotten and I hate her, so he's going to get these instead. I pulled the tickets out and gave it to them. "I'd love you guys to come to a show, as a thank you for this cute little fur ball."

"WHOA REALLY? THANK YOU!?" The boy jumped up and hugged my legs.

See that? I can be nice I'm not a complete asshole—well, never mind.

"Oh no thank you." I hugged him back and waved to the grandfather while walking away with this cute ball of fluff with those wittle blue eyes—dear god, I'm speaking cute language, help me. I was too busy playing with this cute thing to realize that I had no idea where the guys were.

Oh….fuck. That's cool; they didn't know where I was either because they started calling me a few minutes later.

"Hey Logan!" I answered.

"Hey, where did you go?"

"Oh some old guy and his grandson were giving away puppies and I took one."

"….Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Where are you?"

Huh, beats me.

"UHHHH….Great question." I walked around looking for a street sign. When I found one I ran down the block so I could go up to it and read it. "Uh, Orange Road and Main Street, there's a Starbucks on the block." I answered looking across the street to see if I could see them. Logan didn't answer; he just hung up the phone. Well that's rude. I turned around to see if maybe they were in that Starbucks and I jumped seeing the four of them standing right behind me. "That was creepy."

"Aww!" Carlos and Kendall cooed seeing the puppy. I smiled wide holding him, even James walked over and started petting his ears.

"I know! He's so cute. I need to take him to a vet, examine him, get him shots, and then I need to go to Petco and buy him everything in the world." I sighed dreamily rubbing the puppy's belly.

"You think maybe you should name him first?" Kendall chuckled.

"Good point." I muttered and stared down at the puppy that was nipping on Carlos' fingers. "How does Alistair sound?" He barked. Yup. That's going to be his name.

"That's an interesting name." Logan commented with a nod.

Don't say where you got it from Alex…

"Yeah I got it from Dragon Age, I used to play that a lot in New York when I had nothing to do—I am a dork." I sighed shaking my head and handed the puppy off to James who seemed to want to kidnap it.

"So I guess now we're going to find a veterinary office?" Kendall chuckled petting the dog in James' arms.

"Yes! Come on, and then we spoil my baby."

"Look at that, she has a soft side." James chuckled.

"Only for cute things." I answered.

"Don't know why you're nice to Logan then." James retorted.

Ah….this is the best job ever.


	15. Those Dimples Though

**(Carlos'sCupcake- Oh man I love me some puppies. I'd like a dog, I have a cat, she's obese and 22, we don't know how she's still living. Oh hell yeah little cute boy deserves tickets more than spoiled little bitch girl!**

**Emy . Elle- Laughter and drool? YAY I did my job. Umm I'm merciless to him because it's funny, and I google white German shepherds all the time, they are so cute.**

**Taylor Shine- glad you liked it!)**

**If you ever wondered **_**just how crazy I am**_**, I am proud to announce that I will be starting a YouTube channel with a close friend of mine. I told ya, I'm going to write somehow and make a living off of it! I mean, in the beginning clearly I won't be writing as much, but you'll see just how nuts…and maybe similar to one of the characters I am. It'll be great! Ummm, when this starts is TBD since the semester started, but if anyone is interested in how nuts I am I'll let you know! I'll still be writing BTW, I can't let my stories die!**

**By the way, Alex's story? Totally happened to me.**

**BTW again: Arirang is the shizznit.**

* * *

GOING HOME FUCK YEAH NEW YORK!

So yeah, things didn't work out with Big Time Rush, I got fired and I'm moving back to New York.

No I'm just kidding, things are great actually New York is the last stop of the tour so we'll be playing a show here and since we're on vacation for two weeks we're going to stay here for one week then fly back to Los Angeles, so it's going to be pretty amazing. Naturally of course we're doing another radio show, its New York after all, so they're doing a whole lot of extra stuff here. So I'm sitting at the edge of the little platform because I kind of sat on my chair and broke it.

Oh yeah, it was a real fucking riot. As soon as I sat down the leg gave out and James immediately made the fat joke. Funny bastard.

"What are some embarrassing stories you guys have?" A teenaged girl in the audience questioned.

"Oh I live a life of embarrassing stories." Logan chuckled shaking his head.

"I have one!" James raised his hand and then pointed at me. "Try watching Alex do zumba, that's embarrassing on her behalf." Carlos threw his head back and laughed tossing me the microphone.

"Okay first of all James that is not an embarrassing story about yourself—"

"She didn't say it had to be about myself but continue." Oh he's so amusing sometimes, ugh.

"Second of all, Kendall bought his 360 for the road, so one day I bought a zumba game for the Kinect because I needed to work out."

"Mind you we bring our personal trainer along so she can work out with us if she wanted to." Carlos nodded.

"Well he intimidates me!" I said staring at James, everyone laughed but it was the truth. "I look at him and I feel like if I high five him my wrist will snap. Anyway, I was doing my zumba dancing to work out and he found it to be hilarious."

"We all did…it is such a disaster." Carlos laughed shaking his head.

"We were all surprised too, because she beat us at this one game I have at home, but watching someone dance zumba is just so funny." Kendall laughed.

"I like it." Logan shrugged.

"Ew." James put his hand in Logan's face and shoved it away.

"Oh that's not really that embarrassing." Ciara the hostess laughed. "Do you have any real embarrassing stories?"

"I have one…" I chuckled.

"YES! See? This is going to be good." James crossed his legs and glanced at me.

"Okay so in high school I was a part of a guitar performance group so we'd play classical music on stage, and then the last number was always a wicked rock song. _Anyway_ for my very last concert my senior year I decided I needed to do a duet because believe it or not, I had bad stage fright back then so I was not doing a solo piece. So we finished two of our classical pieces and I get up to move and sit next to my friend. I trip in front of everyone, knock a stand into her and the incredibly expensive guitar and to top it all off throughout the whole performance I'm just nodding my head like a bobble head as I played. Oh, and I wore hot pink lipstick against an all-black outfit. Yeah I stood out that night." I nodded.

"You fell on stage? Oh god." James shook his head.

"I would hate to be you." Carlos nodded.

"Yeah your life is terrible." Kendall agreed.

"HAHA Loser." Logan spat his face was completely playful at first but as soon as he said loser it become serious.

"Okay then. We were supposed to leave at three yesterday and we ended up leaving at a quarter to four because Kendall was in the bathroom doing his stinky business." I glanced at Kendall who dropped his jaw in shock and turned red before covering his face and laughing. "They were practicing their dancing before that and James split his pants right down the middle on the butt, and we all let him walk to Starbucks that way." James laughed at me clapping his hands, but I can tell he wanted to stab me. "About two weeks ago we were in North Carolina and we were riding these little mini ATV's, Carlos hit a rock, flipped off of it, almost cracked his head open on a tree, but was sprayed by a skunk. Oh and Logan…." I glanced at Logan and smirked deviously.

"I got this!" James said quickly. "When we were filming the last season we had an extra on the show. So Logan had a scene with her and whenever he messes up he likes to make that weird little sound effect he does and pretend to punch them. Well he actually punched her in the face." James nodded and everyone gasped and awed.

"It was an accident!" Logan said defensively. I shook my head and tossed Carlos his microphone so they could sing.

"Yeah I'm sure it was Logan you woman beater…" Carlos shook his head.

"Remind me why we're friends again?" Logan questioned.

"You're still under contract buddy." James told him while patting him on the shoulder.

"Right of course…" Logan nodded with a slight laugh. "Well on that great note let's please move on to something else!"

So after that we performed, the guys answered some more questions, and we left the radio station. You know, I used to be able to wander Times Square totally fine, no one would molest me or yell at me. Now if you leave a building with Big Time Rush a bunch of screaming teenage girls will try to attack you to get through to them and oh dear god it is possibly the most terrifying thing.

"Hey," Logan came up to me as we were trying to get through the crowd of teenagers. "We should go out tonight, you and I!"

"Is that a date Logan Mitchell?" I smirked.

"Depends, are you willing to do another food challenge?" I cringed at the thought.

"Please don't make me do that."

"I won't." Logan laughed and patted my back. "We'll get Japanese."

Ew. Fish and I don't get along, I said this before, do I need to stab him for not knowing what food I eat—jeez I should take it easy. Logan saw the disgusted face I made and laughed. "You know they have stuff _other_ than fish right? How about hibachi?"

"Hibbity what what?"

"You'll see." He laughed and got into the car, with me crawling in last. You know what I realized, it's pretty fucked up that I go in last. I'm a girl, granted no one here really wants to rape me like they want to rape them, I should be allowed to go in first! "Hey where's Carlos?" Logan said aloud. We all looked around the car to find him but he wasn't inside. There was a mad pounding on the car and Carlos was on the other side of the door. I leaned over and pulled it open and he quickly hopped in.

"I can't believe you assholes forgot me!" He shouted when he sat down.

"Sorry dude, sometimes you're just too little to see." James laughed patting his head.

"Fuck you bro."

* * *

So for a night out on the town Logan Mitchell, insert swoon motion here, I decided to wear what Forever 21 calls a 'contrast flounce sheath dress' or some bullshit like that. I don't know, it has a v neckline, white on top, black skirt with a cute little belt, plus a pair of black pumps? Oh mama, I'd go lesbian for myself—wow that was the cockiest thing I've said all day.

"How does mama look Alistair?" I looked down at my little German shepherd who chewed on his little toy. Okay, I'll take that as a good answer. I scooped him up along with my purse once I heard Logan knocking at the door, and we walked next door and left him with James, who I feel like he might steal my puppy. Oh and you know what else? Logan's been dressing him up! Putting hats and little capes on him—by god it's cute I can't even make fun of him for it.

So Logan and I went out on the town to a hibachi restaurant called Arirang. I must say, Logan looks pretty damn good. Black slacks, a silver shirt and a black tie? Ugh, so yummy. So Logan ordered the steak and chicken while I ordered the pork. It's pretty cool; they stand in front of you on the griddle and cut everything up extremely….awesomely? Yes, they do that and they even toss the food into your mouth. For example, he threw a piece of zucchini right into Logan's mouth and he caught it, when he tossed it to me however I kind of missed miserably. But you know he gave me three other shots!

"She your girlfriend?" He asked Logan.

"Ahhhh…" Logan glanced at me hesitant.

"Oh she pretty lady. If she not your girlfriend she'll be mine."

"I don't know Logan he's a chef, I might have to go out with him if we're not going to commit. "I chuckled. YES. THAT WAS A BALLSY LINE FROM ME BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS EPIC AND A SUBTLE WAY OF SAYING FUCKING MAKE ME YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR I'LL STOP FANTASIZING ABOUT YOU. Well let's be honest, I probably wouldn't stop but he doesn't need to know that.

"You see that? You'll go with me to get married in Vegas right?" He questioned as he diced up some more vegetables.

"Absolutely." I nodded with a grin. I glanced at Logan had an eyebrow raised the entire time. He slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it tightly.

"Don't worry buddy, she's my girlfriend, no getting married in Vegas for you."

"Oh geez overprotective! Don't worry I won't take your lady, I'm just making a love connection." I couldn't help but laugh. This place is fun. Oh, plus he took the fried rice, shaped it into a heart, and put his spatula underneath and moved it so it looked like a heart beating and pointed it at us. It was absolutely adorable. After he served all of us he pointed one of the tools at Logan. "You take care of my lady." He said before leaving.

"Had to flirt with him?" Logan chuckled digging into his steak. "If you wanted me to make it official you could have just asked or begged on your knees you know."

"Yeah well I just thought you should see how desirable I am by other people. I am such a catch."

"Such a catch, says the girl who talks to her dog like it's a human being and has conversations with it."

"Bro you dress him so you really can't comment." I laughed.

"I don't dress him; I just make him look more gangster." Logan nodded, sticking his fork into my plate of food.

"Yeah whatever you call it, just admit you like to play dress up." I shrugged eating my food and glancing at him.

"Actually my favorite part is where I get to rip the clothes off." He winked casually and went back to his food. Oh god damn it Logan, my fucking ovaries.

"I hate when you do that." I muttered quietly.

"I know." He chuckled and kissed my cheek quickly. After dinner we went to Times Square to grab dessert at Max Brenner. I know, a long trip from Brooklyn to Manhattan for dessert, but I told Logan a long time ago that it was one of my all-time favorite places, so he said we should go back so I can relive my love for the place. Ugh, he's so precious isn't he? When we sat down we both got drinks, I got the Intoxi-Cake and he ordered the White Russian. Then for actual dessert we shared the classic European fondue for two. Oh man…so much chocolate and goodness I can die—

LOGAN HAS CHOCOLATE IN HIS DIMPLE!

FUCK NOW IS MY CHANCE. I used my finger to tell him to come closer, and when he leaned in I leaned in and licked the chocolate off.

YES.

Dude I can go get hit by a car right now I'm absolutely super happy with that.

Logan chuckled and his cheeks flushed a bit, he was definitely surprised I did that. Oh yeah, score one for me Logan Mitchell, take that bitch. "Surprised you didn't I?"

"You did. I guess these drinks are working on you huh?" He winked taking another sip.

..No they're not I would have done it without the drink. Well after our awesome dessert we tried to be incognito to take a walk around town but that didn't work, so we drove around for a bit before going to the hotel. When Logan walked me to the door I stopped for a moment to think. I already licked the chocolate out of his dimple, you know what? I might as well get a second dessert. So I opened the door, grabbed Logan by his tie and dragged him inside while he kicked the door shut behind him.


	16. Likes His Meat

**(Carlos'sCupcake- That duet thing totally happened. My teacher shook his head and laughed at me. I can't believe you passed out! Won't lie, I totally burst into laughter reading your review. OH Hibachi is totally cool with me for Shy Girl I know you didn't steal it, because I know it's to put KENDALL'S FACE ON A FUCKING GRILL BECAUSE HE FUCKED UP!**

**LazyLazyWriter- don't we all? I bet it makes the chocolate taste better.**

**Shy- LOL glad you found it funny!)**

* * *

"Mom, no, you are not meeting Logan today. We _just_ started dating. I don't want to introduce him to you guys and all of the sudden he thinks he needs to ask for dad's permission to marry me because we're going way too fast." Yup, my lovely mother had to call me at eight o' fucking clock in the morning because she wants to see me. That, fine yeah I'll visit my parents, it's that I have to bring Logan along because they want to meet him is what is a bit crappy. OH and you know what sucks even more? I had a nice night with Logan, sure he had to run to his room because he only had one condom in his pocket, but whatever it was a great night. Now she had to awaken me way too early in the morning and I had to run out of his warm, muscular arms to hide in the bathroom to speak to her so I wouldn't wake him up and freak him out.

"You did not just start dating! Alex I read the magazines you've been dating him almost as long as you've been on that tour!" My mother retorted. Okay, so she somewhat has a point.

"Alright yes we've been dating but we only made it official last night and quite frankly I think that's too soon." I reasoned.

"Come on! I want to meet him, plus I'm sure your father wants to meet the boy that has my daughter smitten, plus your brother would love to meet him, you know considering you called his last girlfriend a whore and all." Hehe, yeah I did call her a whore, that was pretty awesome not going to lie.

"Well when I see my brother's girlfriend at a club that I'm in, bent over someone that isn't Jacob then yes I will call her a whore, she's lucky that's all I did to be quite honest with you." What? It's true, I was going to kick the back of her leg to make her fall and show the club her, what I assume to be her gaping hoo-ha, but she probably would have enjoyed that.

"Just bring the damn boy over!"

"Mom I'm not bringing Logan."

"_I'll meet your mom if she wants to see me!"_ Logan shouted from outside the bathroom. Well shit, I guess me hiding in here was pointless if he fucking heard me anyway.

"Was that Logan?"

"Yes mom it was Logan."

"_HI MRS. JONES!"_ I'm going to spank this boy—oh…hehehe kinky.

"Oh how sweet, tell him I said hi, I'll see you guys here at one, we'll have lunch! Love you." She hung up the phone before I could even contest it. I sighed and exited the bathroom to see Logan lying on the bed shirtless and propped up against the headboard. He had his hands folded behind his head as he grinned at me.

"So not only does the daughter like me but so does the mom huh?" He chuckled as I crawled back into bed.

"Oh shut your mouth _Logie_, she wants to meet you, so does my brother and my dad. They want to make sure I'm not fucking some crack head I guess." I yawned stretching my limbs until I heard most of them crack.

"They'll be so disappointed then when they see me." He chuckled nuzzling my neck from behind.

"Ugh, man I know." Logan snickered and shoved me while I just laughed. "Alright, get your ass up and get ready so we can have breakfast and make the journey to Brooklyn."

"How long does it take to get there?" Logan questioned as he looked around for his pants.

"By train from here…hour and a half, car probably half an hour."

"We'll take the car then."

"You're lucky they have a driveway or you'd be fucked for parking." I mumbled watching him pull on his boxers. What? I saw it all last night; I can watch him get dressed. "Now go to your room and do the walk of shame you little slut." Logan raised an eyebrow at me after he was done getting dressed.

"AJ I hope you know this means I'm going to harass you in front of your parents from that comment."

"You won't." I chuckled.

"Oh, I will." He leaned forward to kiss me goodbye, but he pulled away just as our lips would have touched. Oh fine, be that way bitch.

"Oh Logan, hate to see you leave but I _love_ to watch you go!" I called after him. Logan stopped at the door, shook his ass and then left. I feel like a man that just kicked his whore out of the room. Well look at that, I still got some game after all. Well after watching Logan leave I took a shower to get ready for the day and went to get Alistair from James. When James opened the door he grinned leaning on the door frame.

"You got some action last night." He said with a nod.

"Dude how can you tell?" I asked while walking in and picking up baby, my god he's so fluffy I could die.

"Heard a bit of banging last night." He chuckled, oh well that's embarrassing.

"Perv, that's what headphones are for."

"I did have headphones." He stared down at me seriously and my eyes widened. "Nah I'm just fucking with you, I put them on as soon as I heard it, didn't need to be traumatized."

"Good to know James." I chuckled shaking my head. "Taking him to meet the parents today."

"That escalated rather quickly."

"Yeah he heard me talking to my mom who was just _dying _to meet him."

"All the Jones women love Logan…" James chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah well, come on we're going to grab my BOYFRIEND so we can all get breakfast together."

"Oh sweet I can use some breakfast—wait you're official now!?"

* * *

Logan pulled up to the driveway of the house in possibly the whitest neighborhood in Brooklyn, Bay Ridge. Yup, all the way at the end right before you hit Staten Island, where there are million dollar homes and an awesome view of Manhattan. The two of us left the car and walked over to the door where my mom was already waiting.

"Alex! Get over here." My mom called. I chuckled and walked over to her and she wrapped her arms around me so tightly she cracked my spine—holy fuck.

"Hi mom."

"Hello! Ohhh and this must be the Big Time Boyfriend huh?" My mom smiled and glanced at Logan. Oh god I can't believe she just said that.

"That would be me." Logan chuckled sticking his hand out, "It's nice to meet you I'm Logan Mitchell."

"Margaret Jones." She smiled shaking his hand. "Come in! Dad's out back barbecuing, hope you like steak Logan."

"Oh I love steak." Logan nodded with a smile. I followed my mom into the house and Logan walked behind me. That sneaky little devil pinched my rear and smirked when I turned around to glare at him. When we got out to the backyard my brother was sitting with my dad drinking a beer and watching him cook. I snuck up behind my dad just as he was turning a steak.

"Hey! There's my girl." He then proceeded to ruffle my hair and hug me around the shoulders. I told you he wanted a boy first, sometimes he still….thinks that way.

"Hey daddy, hey Jacob."

"Hey Al." Jacob nodded and got up to hug me. "Ah, so this is the one you're fucking?" My dad then proceeded to smack Jacob in the back of the head. "Ow!"

"Don't' speak that way." My dad replied putting the tongs down. "Hey there, name's Mike, and my idiot son Jacob."

"Not an idiot, just clarifying." Jacob nodded as the two of them shook Logan's hands.

"Nice…Logan Mitchell and I am not an idiot." He nodded.

"Says you." I muttered and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"So dude, why her? I mean honestly she's kind of nuts and a total lesbian—OW OW OW OW OW!" Jacob whined as my hand somehow grabbed his ear and began to pull.

"Alex stop it." My mom sighed.

"MY EAR!" Jacob wailed. I let go of his ear and sat down beside him while Logan went to the grill with my dad. Oh that's right; Logan's a grill-master. How lovely and convenient.

"Well your sister is actually a pretty chill girl who I happen to like very much." He turned to smile at me while my mom awed. That charming bastard.

"Dude what girl are you seeing because that's so not my sister."

"Oh speaking of seeing people, how's that whore Lizzie? She still bending over everyone she sees?" I asked reaching over and taking a sip from his beer.

"I have herpes." I quickly spit the beer out and put the bottle down. He just threw his head back laughing, oh and everyone else laughed at me too, how sweet. "Just kidding, don't touch my beer. Oh and no, Lizzie and I broke up, you know after you called her a whore things didn't quite get fixed."

"Good, she was a whore, can't fix a hole that big." I nodded getting my own beer.

"Even I'm starting to wonder how you put up with her." Mom sighed glancing at Logan.

"Oh she's not usually like that." Logan laughed walking over to sit with my mom. "She's on a tour with four guys she can't joke around with us too much."

"Yeah she's only doing it now because dad would beat me if I _really_ start to let her have it." Jacob nodded in agreement.

"You're absolutely right." Dad nodded. "How do you like your steak Logan?"

"Medium rare."

"Guy knows his steak." Dad nodded in approval. Jacob and I rolled our eyes. I can't grill for shit and Jacob's a little momma's boy, so I think my dad has a little bit of a man crush on Logan right now because Logan can work a grill and likes his meat cooked the same way. After Logan sucked up to both my mom and dad, we had our extremely heavy lunch of steak, potato salad, grilled corn, regular salad, and grilled pineapples. Why the grilled pineapples? Because mom wanted to make a cake but she forgot to buy the ingredients so dad grilled the pineapples and put them on plates with a scoop of ice cream, still good!

Oh, and the entire time Logan would sit next to me and put his hand further and further up my thigh, then quickly take it away. Like what the fuck Logan, I am not doing that to you for the love of god stop before I rape you in front of my parents.

"Stop it." I gritted through my teeth as we all stood up to go inside.

"Shouldn't have called me a slut." He whispered before pecking my cheek, quietly slapping my ass and walking inside.

OH he's going to get it. He's SOOOOO going to get it.

Which means I'm going to get it, and I'm okay with this.


	17. Lost His Shit, Literally

**(Carlos'sCupcake- Aw I'm glad you find my humor funny! I'd pay to see her expression too lmao, I imagine choking on beer and eyes so wide that they look like they'll pop out…. I've seen people fall to the floor, my best friends, and I just start laughing and laughing. It's okay though, because I fell on ice and cracked my tailbone and everyone laughed hysterically at me (including the now ex-bf who told everyone) so I think I'm allowed to laugh at people. Never crack your tailbone btw that pain is BRUTAL.**

**SHY- Aw I'm sorry, my apologies for getting you into trouble :P**

**Emy . Elle- you'll see!**

**Taylor: So happy that you liked the chapters and find this story funny!)**

**Yeah umm….I'm not good at writing anything romantically physical if you guys haven't noticed. I always skip that or just have the characters talk about it….sooo…..yeaaahhh don't expect much from me.**

* * *

I can't fucking believe we're still here this is just one big embarrassing field trip for me. Once we walked inside my mom said it was about time to show the home videos. You know, I specifically went through quite a journey to hide those things. I literally ripped out a floor board, put all the videos in, and then nailed the floor back down before I moved out a few years ago so she wouldn't find it. But of course fucking Jacob had to tell her where they were and dad took them out. That's some bullshit. I'll bust out the video of him shitting himself on Christmas, that'll be a treat.

"Oh this is her senior concert in high school!" Mom chuckled grabbing the DVD and popping it in. "It was great."

"Did she tell you how she fell?" Jacob laughed sipping his beer.

"Oh yes she did." Logan grinned eagerly and winked at me before leaning forward to watch the video. The songs started two classical pieces which we did so-so on. Then it was quiet as I stood up from my spot and turned around to step up and sit on the platform beside my friend. It was great, I tripped, which made my guitar slam into the music stand, which then slammed into hers. Logan threw his head back laughing at the sight because according to this video, which I never noticed, I turned bright red and hung my head as I sat down and let him retune our guitars. Then he introduced us, we played and went through the piece with me bobbing my head and flourishing my hand to get a different sound which looked really fucking weird. Then that _finally_ ended and we went into two other solo pieces, and then Hotel California.

"Hey look at that, that was a great fall." Logan chuckled. "Actually seeing it? It was perfect, not too embarrassing for you because you didn't fall on your face, but great for us because we got to see you nearly destroy two guitars."

"Two incredibly expensive, genuine Spanish guitars." Jacob nodded in agreement.

"Fuck you guys—OW!" I pouted rubbing the back of my head after my mom slapped it.

"Don't say that to them!" She said quickly. "Now what else is there...?"

"OH! I have one." I jumped up and looked through the pile. See, that DVD I had marked it with a brown sticker so I'd always be able to find it quickly. I popped the DVD in and sat back to watch the show as Jacob's eyes quickly widened and he ran to the DVD player, but my dad grabbed him by the shirt and yanked him back on the sofa.

"Ah come on Jacob, we embarrassed Al, time to embarrass you." He chuckled, gotta love having dad on your side sometimes. The video started on Christmas morning, we were thirteen and twelve. Jacob was opening his present and he literally lost his shit as he ripped open the package and saw a slim PlayStation 2. He started jumping up and down and screaming and you could see the back of his white sweatpants turn dark brown. With every jump little logs were tumbling out and he didn't realize it until he managed to slip on one. In the video I was lying on the floor laughing uncontrollably with my dad while my mom dropped the camera onto the table and ran over to console him. Luckily when she dropped the camera it was perfectly aimed at him so you could see him crying in embarrassment. I looked over at Jacob, saw him sitting there angry and red, and I just had to die. I started laughing once more and held my stomach. It was so great.

"Fuck you I was recovering from the stomach flu! Ugh I had pushed that in the back of my memory!"

"I bet you wished you could push something back in that day." I laughed pointing to the screen. He growled and yanked my hair and I responded by punching his balls. He coughed and fell off the sofa holding himself. "ALEX!" My mom yelled.

"That was a low blow you know." My dad said shaking his head.

"Literally." I replied with a nod. He looked up at me and started laughing, forgetting that he was disappointed in me for punching my brother in the nuts.

"Why don't we take a break from the videos?" Logan suggested with a chuckle. "Before someone dies perhaps?"

"Good idea Logan, why don't you go show him your old room?" My mom suggested.

"Nah I'm good…" I nodded slowly.

"Go!" She waved her hands and I sighed grabbing Logan's hand going down the hallway to walk up the staircase. As we were walking Logan put his hands on my butt and squeezed tightly making me yelp and run up the stairs with him chasing me. I ran into my room and flopped down on the bed. Logan walked in and chuckled. "Wow….." He nodded slowly looking around. My room happened to be a dark purple with white stripes. Furniture was white, not my choice by the way, and it was still a mess, just as I had left it. You could barely tell what the paint was underneath because I had posters covering nearly every inch of the walls. From AC/DC to Led Zeppelin, no wall was safe from my love. Logan then opened the drawers of my dresser and managed to get the underwear drawer on the first shot. He chuckled picking up a pair of black boy shorts. "Wow, you had bland underwear huh?"

"Period panties." I answered bluntly and he cringed and threw them on top of the TV. "Just kidding, yeah I like boy shorts." I laughed.

"That was cruel." He muttered shaking his head, then picked out a bright pink bra. He pulled that on himself and clasped it like a champion as he rifled through my clothes.

"Pink looks so good on you Logie." I laughed watching him shake his man boobs and go through my clothes. After getting bored of that he took off the bra, flung it over the TV with the underwear and opened the closet. "Wait no—"

"OH MY GOD." He yelled and dove into the closet, emerging with about two arm fulls of stuffed animals. "What the hell AJ? I didn't know you were that in love with stuffed animals. I mean I know you like them but wow….this isn't even all of them."

Well, remind me not to let him into my apartment where I have a white teddy bear resting on the bed.

"Yeah lets' just put those back and _not_ make fun of me for hoarding stuffed animals."

"Or food…"He muttered dropping the animals and opening up a large box of just candy wrappers and potato chip bags.

"…We eat a lot in this house…you have to hide your snacks if you don't want them to eat it all." I shrugged quietly. "There's also a mini-fridge in there." I told him. Logan laughed and dropped to his knees and crawled into the closet. I walked over and watched as he opened the mini fridge and found random chocolate bars and a can of mountain dew. As he was looking I spanked him really hard which made him jump and hit his head on the bottom shelf. I laughed; Logan quickly stood up and shoved me onto the bed crawling over me. "Oh what now Logie-Bear?"

"You're being awfully daring today aren't you?" He mumbled straddling my waist and pressing his forehead against my own.

"I'd like to think of it as being awfully funny…" I nodded. Logan nodded with me and started nibbling on my neck. Okay, am I going to fuck Logan in my old bedroom? With my parents and brother downstairs? I mean god what a thrill but that's weird I don't know if I can. But then I started to make out with him and well, my willpower is just draining away.

Then out of the fucking blue Logan got up and walked out of the room.

B-b-but…but I was going to screw him on my tiny bed!

YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

I jumped out of bed and chased him down the staircase. As soon as he hit the last step I jumped on his back and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. "You teasing son of a bitch."

"That's for spanking me." He chuckled carrying me to the living room. We stopped short because his phone started to ring and he wanted to answer it. "Hey mom…"

OH MOMMA MITCHELL!

"Yeah I'll be heading home in a few days….yes she lives in LA….what? No I mean we're going on vacation to Maui first we're not going home right after New York….No I'm not lying!" Logan sighed and glanced at me. "Mom we just started dating don't you think you're pushing it?"

Oh, the dreaded mommy talk, how lovely.

"Do you want to meet my parents?" Logan sighed glancing at me and mouthing the word 'no' repeatedly.

"I'd LOVE to meet your parents! And your little sisters too?" I said it loud enough so she could hear him over the phone.

"I hate you." Logan muttered to me before returning to mom. "Ah you heard her answer? Great….yeah we'll….see you when we leave New York." Logan hung up his phone. "I hate you."

"Why? You met my family!"

"My family is about ten times more embarrassing."

"I doubt that." I laughed shaking my head.

"Just ask James."

* * *

That night we came back to the hotel so we could all meet up and go see a movie. When we walked into Carlos' room to wait for him to get ready I ran over to James and asked him why Logan's family was so embarrassing.

"Aside from the fact that his mom calls him Logie-Bear, his mom is _always_ pinching his cheek or hugging him or holding onto him. You know how baby kangaroos stay in their mom's pouch? Yeah Logan is a full grown one and he's still in there. Plus his sisters are little nightmares. We walked into the dressing room while he was hanging out with them and Logan was tied to a chair with makeup on, Abby was wearing my clothes and trying to break dance while Annie was playing around with Carlos' computer. I think his dad is the only sane one." I raised my eyebrow and turned around to Logan who was sitting on the chair pretending like he wasn't listening.

"Dude, do your little sisters own you?" I questioned.

"No!"

"Yes!" James, Kendall, and Carlos shouted. Well, this should be interesting.


	18. Meeting the Mitchells Part One

**(Carlos'sCupcake: Why thank you I try to be funny, I'm glad you're enjoying it!**

**Taylor Shine: Glad you found it so funny! I hope this one is just as funny.**

**LazyLazyWriter: WOOHOO! That makes me happy!**

**Emy . Elle: I'm glad I make you laugh! Hopefully you'll enjoy the first half of this Mitchell encounter.)**

* * *

**Oh my god you guys **_**Fall Out Boy**_** has reunited….you…you don't understand how my heart exploded. This is the band that I've loved since sixth grade and has helped me through everything and they are BACK! Oh my god….I have flipped a shit I…I'm so excited I have to share it with the world. Guys if I disappear it's because I had a heart attack from all the happy feels.**

**Logan's POV**

So after spending the week in New York with AJ playing with her dog nonstop we took a flight back to LA so we could all go home and get some rest and relaxation. Well, that didn't last long because as soon as I landed my mom called and insisted that we all went over to their house. I honestly said no several times, but with James yelling about how much he loves her and misses her and AJ being cute and saying she'd love to meet them, I just couldn't say no.

So before we could even unpack and relax we dropped our luggage off and all met up at my mom's house. James ran up to the door and knocked excitedly. When the door opened James was the one that got the first hug and not me!

"Aw hi James! Oh look at you, you're so handsome! Have you been working out more? Oh get down here!" My mom yanked James down to her level to give him a tight hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Hi Joanna! Ah I'm good, yes I've been working out a bit, how are you? You look great!" James replied as he hugged her.

"Oh hush you cute little flirt." She pinched his cheek before hugging Kendall and Carlos and kissing their cheeks like they were her children. I'm not sure if I should be offended or not if I'm last…

"LOGIE BEAR!" My mom charged towards me and wrapped her arms around me so tightly that it restricted my breathing for a couple of seconds. "Oh my baby! I missed you so so so so much!" She kissed my cheeks about a dozen times before she kissed my forehead and pinched my cheeks. "Aw look at my big boy! Look at you, you look stronger and healthier. Ugh you're growing up too quickly." She hugged me again and insisted on holding my hand as she turned to Alex.

"Hi! You must be Alex; Logan barely says anything at all about his little girlfriends."

"Oh my god mom!" I looked down at her and she shrugged.

"I'm Joanna! Well give me a hug!" She let go of my hand and opened her arms out for Alex to hug her. When she hugged her Alex smirked and winked at me behind my mom's back. Oh god, she loves this about as much as James does.

"Nice to meet you Joanna! Yes I'm Alex and I happen to be dating your adorable little Logie Bear." She smiled glancing at me before looking down at my mom.

"Aw isn't she precious? You're pretty too I like you. Plus you've lasted longer than all the rest!" Alex raised an eyebrow as my mom grabbed my hand and pulled me inside.

"We've been dating for about six days though…"

"Oh I know." My mom nodded to her. Alex shook her head and leaned in close as though she was kissing my cheek but she whispered instead. "Slut."

"Nice." I muttered back to her. Mom dragged us into the living room where the guys were talking with my dad.

"Bill look it's Logie's little girlfriend Alex!"

"Wow, she's lasted long enough to meet us." My dad commented. Wow, no one is on my side today. "Nice to meet you Alex."

"You too!" They shook hands and my dad and I hugged until mom sat me down beside her on the sofa.

"Hey where's Abby and Annie?" I asked looking around. All of the sudden there was shrill screaming heard and these two little brunette tornadoes ran into the room and attacked me.

"LOGIE'S HOME!" Abby yelled wrapping her arms around my neck while Annie wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Hey guys, I missed you! How are you?" I hugged them back and kissed their cheeks.

"Good!" Like that they pulled away and stood in front of James. Oh man I love this; James is scared shitless of them. "Hi James." They said in unison, which always manages to freak him out.

"Heeeeey girls…" James laughed nervously. "Wow talk about Children of the Corn." The girls smiled and hugged James while he mouthed 'help me' behind their backs. Then they ran over to Kendall and Carlos and took turns hugging them. Annie trailed her fingers along Kendall's heart tattoo while Abby ran her hands over Carlos' head.

"Wow you're bald." My lovely, twelve year old little Abby remarked.

"I hope this doesn't look bad when you're older." Annie said to Kendall. As though they were reading each other's minds they turned in complete sync to Alex. "Hello." They both said.

"Hey. My name's Alex! I work with the guys now I'm their guitarist."

"I'm Abby."

"I'm Annie. We're his sisters." They said staring up at her. Oh god, you know now I can see why these two twins scare James, they're like the sisters in The Shining.

"I can tell."

"Let's show you our room!" Abby grabbed one hand while Annie grabbed the other, the two girls dragged Alex upstairs within seconds.

"Whoa…she is not making it out of there alive." Kendall said with a laugh.

"Well, maybe they'll tie her in a sleeping bag add roll her down the stairs." Carlos added

"Oh no they are definitely going to tell her death threats if she hurts their big brother." James said with a nod.

"Oh James, they don't do that anymore!" My mom said walking into the living room with a plate of cookies and lemonade.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"No your mom is lying." My dad told me while he reached over for a cookie and my mom sat beside me hugging me. "If she lasts with them she's a keeper."

Huh, so if Alex dies in there does that mean I can take Alistair?

* * *

**Alex's POV**

Okay, so Logan's mom absolutely adores him, James loves his mom because she treats Logan like a baby, his dad seems normal, and his sisters look like little sociopaths. Yeah I'm so happy about this right now wow!

You know what, thank god only one of them has dimples. Shit, if they both had dimples I'd be fucked on trying to know who was who. So Abby has dimples and Annie doesn't, good, I'll drill that into my mind.

"So we're going to play." Abby said pushing a chair into the middle of the room. Oh fuck is this where they kill me?

"Sure what are we going to play?" I asked; definitely not while going to that chair, hell no I am not sitting down. They'll probably hook me up to a saline drip full of acid…

"War." Annie answered.

Wait….WAIT WHAT?!

"Uhh…we're playing war?"

"Yes. Don't you know what war is?" Abby walked around me and opened a closet. She pulled out a baton, you know like a flag girl or something would twirl at a parade. Then she pulled out a plastic whiffle ball bat and tossed that to Annie. The two girls dipped their hands into black paint and wiped it underneath their eyes. Holy fuck….

"Uhhhhh…..so how do you play?"

"Well one side, me and Annie, have to kill the other side. That's you!" Abby explained. The two girls let out this crazy battle cry and started running towards me. "CAN'T LEAVE THE ROOM BY THE WAY!" Annie yelled as they chased me.

OH DEAR GOD THESE CHILDREN ARE THE SPAWN OF SATAN CONTINUING HIS WORK ABOVE GROUND HOLY FUCK.

So I started running around this room trying to escape those girls and dear god I actually fear for my life. Abby hit me in the back and I wanted to turn around and hit her in the face with the baton but that would get me both dumped and arrested for child abuse.

Then Annie hit my butt with the bat and I jumped into their closet and held the door shut. Holy shit… After that it was quiet out there and that was concerning to me. I opened the closet and didn't see the girls, so I stepped out of the closet quietly. All of the sudden this rope was elevated and I tripped over it. The two girls jumped out of hiding from beside the closet and tied a bright pink jump rope around my ankles.

"WE WON WE GOT THE INDIAN!" Annie shouted.

Wait what the fuck I'm an Indian? WHAT FUCKING WAR ARE WE RECREATING HERE!?

"Yeah good job now let's untie Alex!" I said lying on my stomach and pushing myself up on my arms.

"No now we do our victory lap!" Abby announced. What the fuck is the victory lap? Oh wait, now I know, it's when those two little bitches grab the ends of the rope and proceed to drag me out of the room and down the hallway.

"Wow, let's NOT drag Alex!" I said trying to grab onto something so they could stop dragging me.

"No! We need to do our victory lap!" Annie said walking towards the staircase.

NO!

THIS SHIT STOPS RIGHT NOW!

"Are we going down the stairs?"

"Yup!" They chorused. Nope, fuck that, Alex does not play that game I am not doing this. I rolled over and forced myself into a sitting position. I grabbed the rope and yanked on it hard which made the two devil twins fall on the ground. "Oh my god…" Annie muttered.

"She defied us." Abby blinked.

Excuse me? Since when do twelve year olds speak like thirty year old organized crime bosses? Defied, what the hell?

"Yes I did I'm not playing this sick game with you two we are not going down the stairs! If you want to play dolls or something that's fine!" I stood up after unraveling the rope from my ankles. "You are not dragging me down the stairs!" I said as I stood up staring down the two little girls.

"Get her." Annie muttered standing.

"So what you tie your brother to a chair to put makeup on him and try to kill me in a game of war?" I questioned.

"Yeah." They nodded.

"That's…really not right."

"So?" Abby crossed her arms over her chest.

"Hey is everything alright up here?" Logan asked walking up the stairs and standing behind his sisters. Before I could say anything the two girls turned and tackled Logan to the ground.

"GET HIM!" Annie yelled while Abby grabbed the jump rope.

"What the—WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Playing war! She escaped, you won't!" Abby announced.

"AJ give me a hand here!" Logan pleaded as his sisters completely hog tied him. Oh my god. I took out my phone and took a picture, this is rich.

"Nope… HEY JAMES WANT TO SEE SOMETHING FUNNY?!" I yelled walking down the stairs.

* * *

**I most definitely will make a second half to this crazy…parental meeting.**


	19. Meeting the Mitchells Part Two

**(Emy . Elle: Why what? Lol ah man, those two little girls scare me. If I met them in real life I'd run.**

**Taylor Shine: YAAAAY I'm glad you like this so much!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Alex has the right idea, I wouldn't help either I'd run the hell away lmao. Well, maybe I'd film it, anyways glad you liked it!)**

* * *

So James ended up running upstairs to see what was so awesome. He damn near peed himself laughing when he saw Logan hog tied on the ground. It wasn't so funny when the two of them looked up at James and started to say that they would take him as their prize and make him their husband. After that James and I went running away leaving Logan to deal with his sisters all by himself. So since Logan is either tied up wearing makeup, dead, or being thrown down the staircase, I decided on hanging out with his mom to both help her with dinner and to get some juicy stories on Logan!

"Hey Joanna, want some help?" I asked as I walked into the kitchen.

"Oh yes come on and peel these potatoes for me." She ushered me over and put a stool up against the counter and handed me a potato peeler. I sat down and got to work on this FUCKING HUGE BAG OF POTATOES JESUS CHRIST.

That's what happens when there's five men here I guess.

"So Joanna….anything you can tell me about Logan? What was he like when he was younger?" I asked as I raped the shit out of a potato with this epic peeler.

"Oh my little Logie! Bless his heart he's so handsome isn't he? Well when Logan was a kid he was always the jokester playing pranks and scaring people. If I could tell you how many times I got a call that Logan was in the principal's office for talking or making jokes….wow I'd be here until I was three hundred years old." She laughed while working on a marinade for some steak.

"Really? Oh man, what were some of the things he did?"

"Well when Logan was in the fifth grade he liked a girl who liked some other boy. So Logan filled up a bunch of water balloons with whipped cream and put them all the way in the back of her desk so when she shoved her books inside the desk the balloons exploded all over her books."

"Oh my god that's terrible."

That's fucking genius.

"Oh that's not all!" She chuckled shaking her head, "He took his Halloween mask, a creepy little clown and shoved it into the boy's backpack. When he opened his bag the boy peed and everyone laughed at him." She sighed as she remembered Logan being a little asshole to other children.

Wow…my boyfriend's a dick. Maybe that's where his sisters get it from.

"Wow he's um…quite the trouble maker!" I said and she nodded in agreement. "That's crazy….any silly things that's happened to him?"

"One time during gymnastics Logan's pants split right down the middle. Showed off his cute little butt in his little white boxers!"

Oh this is rich.

"God how embarrassing." I laughed peeling some more potatoes.

"Not as embarrassing as when I walked in on him and a girl in his room. Poor boy, he was fumbling with her bra and had no idea how to take it off."

"_REALLY?!_"

Oh my god I might pee this is so good.

"Yes really! The door was a little open and I thought they weren't doing anything. I walked in with his laundry and neither one of them heard me. I just walked over and unclasped it myself he was taking way too long. After she left I gave him one of my bras to practice on. How terrible and awkward is that? Not knowing how to take one off." She shook her head casually as though this was no big deal. So the little slut started out as an awkward prankster that could not take off a bra? Oh I will NEVER let him live this down. This is rich; it feels like someone just stabbed a needle into my veins and dosed me with drugs, this is just way too good.

"Well at least you were there to help him." I told her, desperately trying not to laugh and pee myself.

"Yeah thank goodness for mom!" She grinned while moving on to some chicken to season. Oh, thank goodness for mom indeed.

"Oh, one time when he was seventeen and the girls were five, Bill and I went out for a date night so we told Logan to watch them. We came home and my little Logie was getting his nails painted and he was wearing a full face of makeup and one of my button up blouses. Oh it was the cutest thing him playing dress up with the girls!"

"Awww how sweet is Logan!" I gushed while imagining that image in my head. Wow, the more I hear about this the more I'm hoping this doesn't kill my raging desire to fuck him senseless.

"Such a precious little boy." Joanna nodded in agreement. "Only thing though, he used to touch himself _so much!_"

"Um...what?"

"Oh don't worry it's just us girls." She giggled winking at me. Um….wow. "Logan was always touching himself. In the shower, in his room. Boy didn't know how to clean up after himself."

OH WOW WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

"Hopefully he cleans up after himself now…"

"I hope so too, for your sake."

Well, I think I'm ready to eat now I'm done with the stories! So once all those potatoes were peeled I chopped them up and put them to boil while she covered the meats and sat them by the grill so Bill could cook them. Eesh, everyone likes to grill, I don't understand why men like to do that so much. It's okay for them to work with an oven you know, as if grilling is any more masculine, please. Fucking throw on an apron and you're Betty Crocker too…

Anyway, I helped her make the salad while she was busy preparing a tray of brownies for dessert. While we were cooking Carlos walked into the kitchen and grabbed a carrot. "Hey has anyone seen James?" He asked while chomping down on it.

"No….he was in the living room with you guys." I answered chopping up some lettuce.

"He went to the bathroom and hasn't come back."

"Did he go upstairs?" Joanna questioned and Carlos quickly nodded. "Oh he's probably playing with Logan and the girls then." Carlos and I grinned at each other and couldn't help but laugh. Oh man, James is not going to make it out of there alive.

….Do ….wait a minute do twelve year old girls have hormones to want to rape yet?

Shit, I hope not.

Well Carlos stayed in the kitchen with us ladies a bit and ended up being the one to mash the potatoes since he has awesome arms, so we had to put them to work. Bill went outside to grill the meat so Carlos and I left the kitchen when the sides were done. We grabbed Kendall and decided to go upstairs and hope to the high heavens that we wouldn't die.

"Those children scare the shit out of me." Kendall said as we walked up the stairs. "Honestly if I walk in and there's a satanic ritual going on, I won't be surprised." Carlos and I started laughing when we heard that.

"Honestly dude I think we're gonna walk in and James is going to be married and Logan will be in the fetal position crying." Carlos said.

"Well, brace yourselves…" I twisted the doorknob to their room and the three of us poked our heads inside. Man was it a sight to see. James was sitting on their desk with his hands tied and a piece of paper taped onto his chest that read 'Husband'. There was a makeshift ring on his finger and a bunch of lipstick marks on his cheeks.

Well, he is now their bitch.

Logan was no longer hog tied, but he was lying on the ground with Abby sitting on his stomach and painting his face with hot pink eyeshadow and lipstick while Annie sat to the side painting his fingernails.

Wow yeah, this totally kills my sex drive.

"Hey you're not supposed to be in here!" Annie yelled pointing at us.

"Shit this is how it starts!" Kendall whispered.

"Dinner's going to start soon." I shrugged and leaned against the door frame. "What are you doing?" I mean, I think I can talk to these girls like they're normal people. I have two men on my side; hopefully they won't become chicken shit in a heartbeat.

"We made James our husband and after winning the war against the Indians we decided to make Logan look pretty." Abby nodded innocently.

I don't know why but that sent chills up my spine, dear god.

"Wow how nice let's just….go downstairs huh?" Carlos chuckled and walked over to James to untie him. The girls quickly got up and tackled Carlos to the floor. "OH MY GOD DON'T EAT ME!"

"NOT YET!" Annie yelled.

"Heeeey I'm hungry let's go downstairs. Please?" James begged.

Alright you know what I'm just going to take a picture of this scene now before I forget to do it later.

Aaaaaand that is so going to be the phone background for a while.

"Come on Annie I guess we should." Abby sighed getting up and pulling her off of Carlos. Kendall and I looked at each other and just laughed as we walked over to help Logan up.

"I can't believe you left me with them and didn't help me." Logan whispered to me.

"I can't believe I got away and you didn't." I chuckled and ruffled his hair. "Oh man, your girlfriend rocks, just saying."

"Mhm…" Logan muttered shaking his head. I glanced over to see Carlos untying the pink jump rope from James' hands while laughing. As soon as James was free he shoved Carlos and started wiping at his face, spreading the lipstick even more.

"Come on let's get you guys cleaned up okay?" I laughed. "God this is rich…"

"Shut up." James muttered watching the two little girls giggle and run out of the room. "Next time we come visit it better be on a school day bro."

"Aw James, don't be so mad, you met your future wives!" Kendall said with a smile on his face as he patted James' back.

"Ha ha yeah go fuck yourself." James muttered and walked out of the room. I grabbed Logan by the shoulders and steered him into the bathroom with James to clean their faces. After finding some baby oil I dabbed it on a few cotton balls to clean them up.

"Such a pretty girl." I giggled as I cleaned up Logan's face. "Oh, and a pretty husband." I chuckled glancing at James who was still trying to wipe off the lip marks. They both grunted at me and stayed quiet until we went downstairs.

"There you boys are, had fun playing with your sisters Logie?" His mom said as she pulled the brownies out of the oven.

"Tons mom…" Logan nodded and kissed his mom on the cheek. She smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Well come on! Your father's on the grill, food's almost done. Everyone's outside hurry up!" She tugged on his hand and dragged him away. James chuckled and walked behind the two of them. "Sit here James!" She forced Logan on one side of her and James to sit on the other, well then; I guess she has two sons, how precious. I moved to sit next to Logan but Annie took that seat, so I sat across from her beside Carlos and Abby.

They won't dare try to poison my food right?

RIGHT!?

FUCK.

Well we all helped ourselves to some food, and fuck me sideways if Logan can actually make steak and chicken as good as his father I will propose marriage, or at least pay him to cook for me I mean god damn.

"Like the food Alex?" James remarked staring at my plate. Okay fine, I might have polished off about eight ounces of steak and two chicken legs before all of the guys, well I can't help it.

"Actually it's _really_ good." I nodded.

"Thank you!" Bill grinned and nudged Logan. "You don't cook for your woman?"

"Dad we _just_ started dating and none of us cook on tour." Logan sighed.

"So? Cooking for your girl makes their panties drop like that." Bill snapped his fingers. Logan's eyes widened, Carlos started laughing hysterically, Kendall was clapping and giggling, James threw his head back laughing at the sky and Joanna looked pissed.

"BILL YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE RIGHT THERE!" Bill blinked and glanced as his twins.

"Do you two have boyfriends?"

"Just James!" They both nodded and Bill laughed.

"See? We're fine." Bill nodded. "James can't cook."

"Excuse me I happen to make a mean omelette—" Bill narrowed his eyes at James. "I mean…I'm awful."

"Useless." Annie muttered shaking her head.

"Seriously." Abby scoffed biting into her steak.

Wow. Well, this has been….interesting. After dinner and eating brownies, we all decide to call it a night because we're exhausted and we would like to sleep for about ten years. So we said our goodbyes and as I went to say goodbye to the two devils they ran up to me and stared up at me. Abby curved her finger telling me to bend down so I did.

"We approve." She nodded.

Um…what?

"No one ever escapes us." Annie added.

"Or lasts very long." Abby said as well.

"So we approve." Annie nodded.

"Okay….thanks." The two girls hugged me before they ran and jumped on top of Logan to hug him goodbye.

Well look at that, I survived a day with two devils and they approved. That's some fucked up testing but still. I WIN!


	20. Bras are Epic

**(LazyLazyWriter: Me too, they're freaky but I love those little devils.**

**SHY: I know! Isn't it great? Lmao.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: AWWWW you really think I do? Thank you that's so sweet! Oh, Logan's mother….oh man someone needs to get her a muzzle she shared way too much and Logan doesn't even know lol.**

**Emy . Elle- Yes, they're all absolutely crazy lol. I'm nuts?—Woohoo thanks!**

**Taylor Shine: Thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it!)**

****I realized this story has no plot….lmao.****

* * *

Oh man, I am a dumb excuse for a woman.

I know, I know, I have indeed said this before but you have to let me explain.

So after tour, I realized my clothes were shredded. Like I had no idea how much movement was involved that we did… Running around constantly, busting my ass on a skateboard. Oh and let's not forget in the south it was hot as balls so I'd be sweating like a six hundred pound person who moved from Alaska to Africa. Holy shit, the amount of shirts with yellow spots is uncountable.

That was disgusting information you did not need to know.

Anyway, so I decided to treat myself to a little shopping spree. Since the guys are filming and I am not needed, I went bat-shit crazy at the mall. Holy fuck. First of all I needed undergarments. You have no idea how amusing it is for the guys to see James sit around casually reading a magazine wearing one of my bras. Yeah it honestly is fucking hilarious but god damn he stretched them to a point beyond belief. Oh and let's be real here, I can't stand to wear thongs for a day out on the town or whatever. I'll wear them to sleep, or if I'm working out so I don't get those weird panty lines, but holy shit. Every fucking time I sleep the strings would show, and I'd wake up and something's fucking stuffed in the strings. Whether it was popsicles or a piece of cake.

THEY THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS BULLSHIT!

Anyways, I've learned that I'll need high waist pajamas apparently next tour, or just not wear underwear at all.

Giggity.

But yeah, plus Carlos would take my underwear and use it as a sling shot in a fight against Kendall with the nerf guns.

Surprisingly, those thongs can be lethal.

Anyway, I decided to hit up the lingerie first. So I went into the dressing room and discovered some things. One, demi bras should not be considered bras, they cover fucking nothing. I cannot wear them under a shirt; they are of no use to me. BUT! Balconette bras are fucking amazing. I'm serious, I don't know why I haven't discovered these before, but oh dear god they make the girls look so fucking fabulous. I mean…wow. If I wear those with a scoop neck, I am set to get ass.

Okay, so after I realized some bras are amazing and others are complete shit excuses, I went and bought a few jeans and tops and skirts, then decided to call it a day. Oh man….I'm so happy, but I'm too lazy to put these things away so I'll just leave the bags in the corner of the room for now.

Well, I decided to be a good girlfriend and text Logan to see what's up.

**Been here since six, I'm dying.**

Aw poor baby.

**HAHA**

**Wow, no pity?**

**Nope.**

And that was the last of it. Alright so maybe it was a little cruel, but I still get to laugh at him. Must be terrible functioning on little sleep. Well you know what? That's what I had to deal with when I first moved in because of those fuckers being so loud next door, so this is kind of like my revenge without me actually having to do anything.

Well, I feel bad, so…. I _guess_ this is an excuse to visit him. Ah man, woe is me. So I decided to put on my NEW SUPER FABULOUS balconette bra and a white scoop neck, oh yes, if I can get some in the dressing room I'll be happy.

Actually I think that's really inappropriate. There's something about doing it on the set of a Nickelodeon show that just seems wrong, but kind of awesome.

Alright, so I got into my trusty truck, went into Starbucks for some god forsaken reason and as I was heading out the door I heard screaming. You know, this is why they fucking made a drive through and it's my god damn fault for wanting to go inside to see what type of treats they still had left to get my fat ass some cookies. God damn it.

The screaming was from two girls who spotted me and ran over. My fucking luck. See, I decided to get one Frappuccino for each of the guys and myself, so I had their drinks on the tray and mine stupidly squished between my arm and my boob so I could sip it while walking. Let's face it, I do not trust myself to carry a tray of drinks with only one hand.

So since these lovely girls scared the shit out of me, my arm jerked and squished the cup, and the drink spilled over. The mocha Frappuccino, a brown drink, spilled on my white shirt.

FUCK!

"OH MY GOD!" they screamed and stood in front of me. "You're AJ! You're Logan's girlfriend!"

"Yes…I am." I nodded trying not to let my rage show, just smile sweetly Alex, just smile.

"And the guitarist!" Another said excitedly," can we have a picture with you?"

It took every fiber of my being to not throw these drinks on the two of them. Yeah fine it's my own fault for getting scared BUT THIS IS MY NEW WHITE SHIRT! WITH MY NEW BRA UNDERNEATH, SOAKING UP COFFEE AND CHOCOLATE GOD DAMN IT!

"Of course you can!" I smiled sweetly. They grabbed a random patron and asked her to take a picture of the three of us, which she did. The girls said thank you and ran off while I went to my truck and considered driving back. Then again, I already had their drinks and the apartment is too far away, so now I'm stuck like this.

Well, I drove to Paramount and security said they could walk me to the lot since it would be the first time, but no, dumb fucking me decided to find it on my own, big fucking mistake. _Eventually_ I found the set and I walked in on Logan doing a scene by the pool, eesh he looks tired, poor bastard. I snuck over to the guys with the drinks and they immediately grabbed their own. Yeah, I've learned on tour what they drink at what places and practically have it memorized.

"Thanks Alex!" Carlos said with a smile and kissed my cheek. "I'd hug you but your boob is oozing chocolate."

Dickhead.

"Wow you're pregnant already? Eesh lay off the chocolate." James laughed taking a sip of his drink.

"Do we even want to know?" Kendall laughed.

"…. I put my drink between my arm and my boob to sip it while walking, and these two girls recognized me and started screaming and it scared me."

"That's what your other hand is for, to hold the drink." James laughed.

"…I wanted to hold the tray with both hands in case I spilled it." I muttered rolling my eyes. Kendall started laughing so loud that they had to cut the scene. Everyone was yelling at him but this only made him laugh more because he got in trouble for it. Anyways, after Kendall finally stopped laughing they went back to shooting the scene, then the guys had a break for a good hour for everyone to get their stuff together to prepare for other scenes.

"Hey you, feeling bad for being a dick to me huh?" Logan chuckled and took his drink. "Wow, chocolate tits?" He gestured to my shirt and laughed, then stopped and tilted his head. HA, THEY MAY BE CHOCOLATE BUT THEY LOOK GREAT DON'T THEY!?

"That's exactly what I said!" James laughed.

"I spilled my drink ha ha so funny get over it." I muttered sipping what was left of mine. Logan chuckled and draped an arm around my shoulders.

"You can wear one of my shirts; I have a couple lying around."

"Oh lovely, I get to wear your dirty, sweat stained shirts, fantastic."

"Fine sit in chocolate…"

"I'm kidding give me!" Logan laughed and led me over to his dressing room. He opened up the closet and took out a red V-neck and tossed it to me. I peeled off my shirt and pulled on his before flopping down on the couch.

"Damn I'm glad you brought this." Logan said as he sipped his drink. "It's hot as balls in here."

"Shouldn't you have air conditioning?" I asked as I draped my legs over his own. "I mean, this is a Nickelodeon production, you should have air conditioning."

"We did." He sighed and ran his hands along my shins, "It went out about two hours ago, and this building is like an oven."

"Wow it must seriously suck to be you."

"No but something could use some sucking!" Logan sang hopefully.

"Ha-ha that's so cute! No." I leaned over and pinched his cheek and he sighed. What? Like he'll get sucked off that quickly, pft please! Wow I'm …really an asshole I'm starting to question why the hell he likes me. Before I could make a comment the lights went out, and you could just hear everything powering down in the studio.

"WOOHOO PARTY!" I heard James yell down the hall and I laughed.

"IT'S RAVE TIME!" Kendall shouted and two minutes later he ran down the hall past the room with glow sticks. I don't know where he got them from, but by god is that kid hilarious.

"Oh this is perfect." Logan shoved my legs off and jumped up. "Come on I have to scare Carlos."

"Why do you want to scare Carlos?" I chuckled letting him drag me along.

"He gets freaked out when its pitch black out, plus we decided to watch a Romero flick at lunch."

"Night of the Living Dead?"

"Duh." Apparently we entered Carlos' dressing room and Logan shoved me into a closet while he ran off god knows where. Shit.

I peeked through the crack of the dresser door and saw Carlos enter the room using his phone backlight to guide him. He walked over to the sofa and shone his light over it, I nearly died laughing when at the end of the sofa hiding behind the arm rest was Logan resting his head on it. Carlos screamed and ran out of the room. I covered my mouth to stifle my laughter. Carlos walked back in and he was _pissed_.

"LOGAN YOU SON OF A BITCH!" He shouted while Logan sat there laughing. "You scared the fuck out of me what the hell is wrong with you? That's not funny!"

"Boo!" I jumped out of the dresser and grabbed onto his shoulders. Once again he screamed and turned around flailing his hands. "It's me it's me!" I laughed throwing my hands up in the air so he wouldn't hit me.

"Oh fuck you guys you're terrible!" Carlos walked out of the room slamming the door; he didn't even grab what he was looking for.

"Is he really that mad?" I chuckled siting on the couch.

"Eh, it's the Latin temper; he'll be good in a few minutes." Logan chuckled sitting beside me. "You have perfect timing, or you're incredibly unlucky."

"Wow, let me just take back that frozen drink of yours."

"No no it's okay!" Logan laughed and put an arm around me. "So, you're stuck in a studio in complete and utter darkness. What shall we do?"

OH MY GOD CAN I FUCK HIM AT THE NICKELODEON SET!?


	21. I Like Ice Cream

**(Am4muzik: Haha thank you! I love Alex; she's a little bit nuts.**

**LazyLazyWriter: thank you! **

**Carlos'sCupcake: YES ALEX SO SHOULD BANG HIM IN THE NICKELODEON STUDIOS! That's like a sex bucket list. Lmao glad you liked it**

**Shy: I know…it's bad but then again it's Logan and it's awesome.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: Aw thank you I'm glad you like them so much that really means a lot!**

**AppleManderin: Woo! That's good, I'll admit I had a lot of fun just fucking around with it.**

**Emy. Elle: Lmao same here but yeah chocolate boobs….I would probably taste just to see if it's good. And aw yeah, Carlos was terrified but adorable.**

**Taylor Shine: I hope you're feeling better! Glad you find the story funny)**

* * *

You know what? I maybe a little slut for fucking Logan on the set of a Nickelodeon show but god damn it will SO be worth it. You know what, if I go to hell for this I'm fine with it because he is a DAMN good fuck and I can cross this off the bucket list I have never made. So I grabbed Logan and dragged him down the hallway to his dressing room. I wasn't going to fuck him in Carlos' room, that's just indecent. Anyways after colliding into a wall several times and Logan being totally useless and not helping me navigate, we made it to his room where I shut the door and he navigated his way to the sofa after throwing off some clothes. Wow he's messy. I ran over to the sofa and jumped onto his lap and he grunted at the sudden impact.

"Damn what were you doing before you got here, reading fan fiction?" He joked.

Fuck really, is it that obvious? Okay so maybe I _did _read some before I got here but they're such good writers how can I not!? It's not my fault if they capture Logan's sexual abilities perfect. Unless…

Oh my god.

WHAT IF! Since Logan was so shitty as a teenager with girls, he reads this fan fiction now, and sees how girls want him to fuck them, so he does whatever they write. I just blew my own mind, but if that's the case, thank you ladies who write this, you are doing me a great pleasure.

Quite literally.

"Oh god, you were weren't you?" Logan laughed and I can tell he was just staring at me with those lovely playful eyes.

"….No." I muttered and cupped his face to kiss him. While we were kissing Logan was still laughing about it, and Logan laughing is stopping me from fucking him right now. So I pulled away from his lips and kissed along his jaw line and down his neck until I found the pulse point, where I nibbled and sucked and pulled the skin between my teeth.

"Getting' rough their AJ."

"Then stop laughing." I mumbled kissing back up to his lips. Logan finally got the memo and let his hands start talking as they slid up and down the back of my thighs, which he knows I hate because it tickles and makes me jumpy, but he loves doing that. I moaned as Logan's hands firmly grabbed my butt and he began to lick and suck on my neck.

"UNPROTECTED SEX!" I heard James scream, and saw bodies popping out from around the couch. This scared the ever living shit out of me and I screamed like a complete baby and buried my face in the crook of Logan's neck out of complete fear, as if that would fucking save me from an axe murderer.

"Oh you guys are dicks!" Logan threw his head back laughing while letting his hands run up and down my back.

"Don't scare me in my dressing room next time!" Carlos said with a laugh.

"Yeah, and we won't have to cock block." Kendall chuckled. "Well, have fun with that."

"Doubt they will, I think we totally killed her sex drive just now." James laughed. "You okay there Alex?"

"…Yes." I muttered slowly uncurling myself from Logan. "I'll remember that next time I see either of you getting it on with some chick."

"Well honestly the plan was just to scare you guys." Kendall said with a nod.

"Then we heard you guys getting it on and we were like 'ew no stop this before they start getting naked!'." Carlos said while cringing and making a face.

"Yeah so we pretty much stopped you from exposing yourself to us, see, we're such great friends." James grinned putting his arms around Carlos and Kendall.

"Yeah fucking priceless." I muttered shaking my head. Well that kind of killed it for me, now I don't want to fuck him here someone's going to walk in and scare this shit out of me again…

"We ruined it didn't we?" James laughed.

"Absolutely."

"Sweet." James nodded. "Well on that high note, I'm going to go see if they'll let us out since it's boiling in here and there's no power." James patted the guys on the back and turned to leave. Carlos and Kendall glanced at each other before walking out quietly and I sighed looking down at Logan.

"It's like someone's saying 'you shall not taint this place'." Logan laughed staring at me and I pinched his cheek.

"You think you're scouted don't you?"

"I'm absolutely adorable." Logan grinned and kissed my neck sweetly. "Still scared?"

"No, I'm not…won't lie, it totally scared the shit out of me."

"No yeah I got that." Logan laughed hysterically. "Oh man, that scream sounded like it came straight out of a horror movie. Plus all you did was hide your face, how would that save you?"

"It wouldn't obviously. That's your job as the male to save and protect me from monsters and shit, don't you know anything?"

"Hey! I know my role." Logan laughed shaking his head. "Don't think I don't!"

"Apparently you do not know your role, because your mom had to unsnap a girl's bra for you!" I started dying in laughter, and even though it was dark in here I KNOW Logan turned red as a tomato. He was completely silent and just didn't move as I started to laugh so hard I was tearing. God that story is STILL funny to me.

"S-she told you that?"

"Damn right she did Logie! Oh man." I held my stomach laughing; Logan was pissed so he literally just pushed me off of him onto the other side of the couch. "Oh man, and you used to masturbate ALL the time too, she said you were messy about it and wouldn't clean up after yourself!" I squealed and rolled off of the couch as I was laughing.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Logan yelled, oh god….oh god he's mad but part of me just does not give a fuck it is way too funny.

"SO SERIOUS!" I lay on the floor laughing while Logan sat there stewing in anger and embarrassment oh shit….

* * *

Yeah Logan really wasn't all that happy about me laughing at his awkward and completely unsmooth youth so he just quietly walked out of the room and went with the guys while I lay there laughing and nearly peeing myself. They couldn't get the power back on so everyone left the studio and went home. Ah that was…awkward I think I'll have to be nice to Logan now.

Nice means sex and food.

I swear to god, every movie you watch, what does the woman use? Either sex or food, so why not use both? Double attack, guarantee it has to work.

So I took a shower and tossed that chocolate bra into the wash so I could wear one not soaked in a Frappuccino from Starbucks. Then I decided to make Logan a dinner of pork chops, potatoes, and some steamed veggies. Fuck yeah; I would make dessert but….just no. He loves junk food anyway so I know he has pie or something in his apartment. After making dinner I scurried over to my room and dropped the robe and put on a little black dress, pumps, and made sure I got out ALL of the giggles. I served the dinner on two plates and walked over to Logan's apartment. Since my hands are full and I did not think this through, I had to kick on the door and decided to yell 'knock knock' to get him to answer.

When Logan pulled the door open he raised an eyebrow staring at me and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, well, well, what's all this?" Oh, his little Texan drawl is coming out, DOWN OVARIES BEHAVE!

"Okay well someone feels bad for essentially make fun of you and laughing at your awful and awkward youth so she decided to dress up pretty and make you dinner. It's pork chops…I know you like them!" I said nudging him with my elbow. Logan chuckled and opened the door more so I could walk in, and as I was carrying the plates to the table he slapped my ass.

"Nice dress."

"Yeah? Nice boxers." I retorted. Must be my lucky night that Logan only answers the door in his t-shirt and boxers, I guess he was making himself comfortable. "Is that your sexy lingerie for me?"

"Oh yeah after you made fun of me of course I had to get in some lingerie for you." He chuckled and grabbed the utensils for each of us while I poured some soda.

"To be fair, your mom made me do it."

"I don't think my mom made you make fun of me…"

"No, but she told me everything and it was awesome." I laughed and sat across from him at the table. "Cute little baby Logan before he became a little slut!" I cooed pinching his cheek, alright, I couldn't control myself and stop from making comments, but he brought it up! "Anyway, try it and tell me how it is."

"Uh huh…you didn't poison this did you?" He asked while he was cutting into it.

"Not that I'm aware of." I shrugged shoveling some potatoes down the hatchet. I watched as Logan ate a piece of pork and nodded.

"Hey this is actually good!"

"What do you man _actually_ good? I'm not an awful cook!"

"Well to be fair," Logan chuckled wiping his mouth, "You didn't cook at all when we went to your parent's house and you _suck_ at the grill." He laughed before going back to eating.

"Uh huh…okay well fine I can't work a grill for shit, but me and the frying pan are serious fuck buddies, I know how to work her."

"You know every time you talk about being in a relationship with an inanimate object, you always make them female." Logan laughed staring at me.

Oh fuck that's true, I said I was going to be all up in some bed on tour….Wow.

"Wow….huh. Secret lesbian I guess?"

"That's hot." Logan nodded in approval and the two of us continued to eat our dinner. I did the dishes while Logan went to the refrigerator and grabbed a container of ice cream from the freezer. See? I fucking knew he would have some he always has junk food. I was going through his cabinets looking for bowls but Logan just grabbed the container, bent down and grabbed me by the back of my thighs putting me over his shoulders and started walking to what I assume is his bedroom.

"Hey what's this mister?"

"Oh well since you made me feel so terrible I figured you should apologize to me." Logan shrugged walking.

"And the ice cream?"

"Uh…I like dessert." He chuckled smacking my ass and kicking the bedroom door closed behind him.

Sweet.


	22. Trusty Truck

**(I'm always surprised with the amount of reviews I get sometimes. Thanks so much for taking the time to read my stories and actually reviewing them, it means a crap ton to me!**

**Emy. Elle: Yeah AJ was a bit on the fucked up side, so Logan deserved a nice apology with sex and food. I had ice cream last night and I just thought about these two, ah…now Ice cream will always be dirty to me, but, still ate it.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Hehehe I'll always bring up the fan fiction stuff, I just think it's way too funny. Ah man, she would have had some good times in his dressing room though, at least she was cock blocked in an amusing and totally scary way.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: Yay I'm glad you love her! She's definitely on the kick ass side.**

**Shy: I did huh? MUAHAHA I'M EVIL!**

**Taylor Shine: Glad you loved it and found it funny, hope you enjoy this update!**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: Oh I know how you feel lol. Bro I'm with you on that, if that's all it takes I've got dynamite dessert recipes up my alley, I can't make him a variety of dinners but I've got sweets that'll rape his sweet tooth.**

**Am4muzik: AWWW thank you so much that makes me feel so happy! I try to come home from my classes and update but lately I've just been sleeping...so yeah.**

**DeniseDEMD: Whoa really? That's totally kick ass I'm glad you like it!)**

****…Yup, I'm fucked up, you will see why. :D****

* * *

"I really hate this fucking car." Logan huffed as we went over a speed bump and the two of us just about bounced in our seats. See I find it funny and awesome and just fucking great, Logan however thinks it's a terrible experience and that I have a death wish.

Yeah, it's been about a month since I wanted to fuck him in the studio, I have yet to do it, but I plan on getting that done at some point. Maybe I'll try to get it done later on in the week. I mean, I can't just let an opportunity like that go away. If you can fuck someone on the set of a Nickelodeon show, you do it, doesn't matter if it's consider indecent or not. You just pull the pants down and shove it.

"Logan don't ever speak ill of my baby. He gets me through anything I need and he can just plow through snow."

"It doesn't snow here!" Logan argued. "You don't need to plow through anything in LA Alex. This thing is a metal death trap I really think it's time you sent this one to the junk yard." I fake gasped and stared at him while I put my hand on the dashboard.

"How dare you speak ill of the baby when he's right here!"

"He is not a baby he's an old truck that does not seem safe at all."

"Just because he gives me a bit of a hard time when the car starts and sometimes gives off a really creepy and unsettling sound does not mean he isn't reliable at all." I glanced at Logan who was just glaring at me. Sheesh, glaring is his main argument in here.

It's really making me uncomfortable.

"Dude stop glaring it's making me feel weird." I glanced at him again and he was still glaring. "Logan!"

"Baby I'm just trying to make sure you're safe and this truck is not safe." Logan reached over and grabbed my hand. "That's why you should get a car that does not sound like it will explode when you first start it."

"…It doesn't sound like it will explode."

"You know it does." I rolled my eyes and shook my head but Logan just squeezed my hand. "At least look into some other cars, you know, newer models."

"Fine but no promises that I'll actually buy one. This truck has yet to fail me and I plan on keeping him around for a long time."

"If he lasts." Logan snickered under his breath, he totally thought I didn't hear him but when I reached over and pinched his nipple he realized that I did. "Oh, is that your way of wanting to fuck me in the car?" He smirked staring at me.

Oh my god, WHY HASN'T THAT OCURRED TO ME BEFORE?!

"Dude…seriously?" I glanced at Logan before looking back at the road. Logan didn't say anything. Instead he just placed his hand on my knee before slowly trailing it up my thigh. Alright, maybe I'll crash the car but it won't be the car's fault, it'll all be because of Logan's hand. Logan trailed his hand up further until it was practically on my hip, then he curled his hand inside my thigh and kept a tight grip. Oh dear god. "L-Logan that's a recipe for disaster." I told him as I blinked and tried to stay focused on the road.

"Is it baby?" Logan questioned and let his middle finger trail right up the center until he found the zipper of my jeans. "You can't handle driving and a little action?"

"I honestly might crash." I blurted out. No this isn't fucking fair! He doesn't get to wear tank tops to show off those amazing biceps, and then try to finger me as I'm driving. THAT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL MYSELF!

"Come on baby, you'll really stop me?" He questioned again as he slipped the zipper down and popped open the button for my jeans.

Alright, alright, I don't know if I can do this I'm just going to burst, maybe pull over and mount him. I glanced over at Logan again who ran his tongue along his bottom lip before biting down on it. Now this really isn't fair, he looks so… so sexy when he does that and then his dimples show, ugh, fucking bastard. "Maybe you should lean back." He suggested. I was just about to do that when I realized I had just pulled into the studio lot and parked the car. "Thanks for the ride baby." Logan quickly smirked and kissed my cheek while I sat there completely stunned. "You'll pick me up later on right?" I slowly turned to glance at the smirking bastard who could not stop grinning.

"Yeah I'll fucking pick you up." I muttered as I glared at him.

"Awesome." He leaned over and kissed me again before quickly licking my neck and retreating from the car. "See ya tonight AJ!" Logan said as he slammed the door of my truck and ran inside.

Oh…oh my god. Logan Mitchell that teasing son of a bitch I can't believe he did that! I didn't even fucking notice I parked the car that's not fair. He should not have that much control over me with his fingers, it fucks with my head. Then again I mean…he does have pretty awesome hands…

No, stop it Alex, control yourself. I sighed and fixed my jeans before pulling out of the lot. I really can't believe that just happened I mean…dear god if that would have led to sex or at least me getting fingered before we got here, I'd be on top of the fucking universe, fuck the world!

* * *

Alright so pretty soon I'm going to be on set with the guys so we can work on another album while they're also filming the show. So after dropping off Logan the fucking tease of the world, I went down to the studio to pick up the music so I could practice it before I worked on it with the guys. Then after that I actually decided I would…look at new cars. Granted, my baby will always remain my baby I did tell Logan I would look at them.

So my loophole around that was just to type 'new car' into Google images and stare at them for half an hour.

Take that bitch; you cannot make me get rid of my truck. Sure he's used up, the bumper is slipping a bit in the back, but he's a sexy bitch and he can kill anyone if I needed him to. Not saying I will murder someone per se, but if it had to happen, I could so use him. Anyways, a little later in the evening Logan texted me telling him I can start heading out, so I grabbed the keys to my trusty truck—

Wow. I just said trusty truck.

Somebody kill me for that.

**B there soon, can I b naked?**What? It's okay for me to text him that.

**No, James needs a lift, engine failed.**

GOD DAMN IT JAMES MAYBE YOU NEED A NEW CAR!

Oh look at that, his new fancy schmancy car's engine died, but you know whose car is still alive?

Mine motherfuckers.

While on my drive down to the set I decided to turn up the radio and crank up some tunes. Nothing like singing a little All Time Low on the road over. I waited at the stop light as I was belting out Phonecall to myself. When the light turned green I looked around before I started my drive. I was bobbing my head and having a totally chill and mellow time until I heard a car horn going off. I turned slightly just to see if something was going on, and that's when another car rammed into the side of my truck. Yeah I've NEVER been in a fucking accident so when my car started to spiral out of control I completely panicked until the car smacked into a street lamp, then everything just went white.

* * *

"Dude where is she?" James questioned as he walked into Logan's dressing room and flopped down on the sofa beside him.

"I don't know, maybe she hit traffic." Logan shrugged and opened his bottle of water to take a sip. "You know the traffic can sometimes be killer."

"Yeah but traffic on a Sunday night?" James shook his head in response, "There really isn't any. Did she get your text?"

"Yeah she got it." Logan chuckled remembering the question she had asked her. "Hey maybe she's just getting some Starbucks or something on the way here. You know how she likes to surprise me with stuff."

"Yeah she's going to make my little Logie Bear fat." James laughed as he slapped Logan on the stomach.

"Fuck you." Logan laughed and pushed James away from himself.

"Dude I'm sorry but you know that shit is bad for you, and you've been slacking on the gym!" He sang tauntingly. "Even Alex goes to the gym more than you."

"It's because I'm here all day," Logan defended, but he wasn't mad at all. "Besides, I get my exercise another way." Logan smirked and James cringed.

"Aw dude, too much I think of that girl like a little sister this just got awkward."

"So I'm having sex with your little sister?" Logan laughed hysterically and James sighed rolling his eyes.

"You're sick Logan."

"You're sick, you said it first." Before James could retort Logan's phone began to ring and he quickly picked up the phone. "Hey baby," He chuckled staring at James' disturbed face. "Where are you? I texted you practically a week ago." Logan's smile faded and his face quickly fell into a frown and turned paler than his usual skin color. James quickly became concerned and he sat up straight watching Logan talk on the phone. "Where?...We'll be there soon." Logan hung up the phone and jumped to his feet dragging James along.

"Dude what happened?"

"Alex got into a car crash." Logan said taking a deep breath. James stared at Logan and the two took off running out the studio to catch a cab over to her.


	23. White Light

**(SHY: Don't panic! All will be well!**

**Heldeyfaberdrive101: I'll try! I just have a lot of unfinished stories so I have to try to update all of them.**

**Emy. Elle: Lol trusty truck….I still giggle at that.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Oh I like explorers, don't blush! We have an X-terra…it's old and dear god it's falling apart inside but boy does it plow right through snow and rain, pretty awesome and useful. But yeah your sister's old car would send me into a panic lmao. If I heard that noise I think even I would be afraid to go sit in that…sorry about that coffee spitting all over! :P)**

* * *

I was absolutely positive that when I saw all white I was dead, and that instead of ending up in hell someone made a mistake and sent me up to heaven, but thankfully I was wrong, it was just the airbag fucking suffocating my face. I groaned lifted my hands to try to push the bag away from me but it just wouldn't budge, so I picked up one of the glass shards from my window and stabbed it into the side of the airbag so all of the air could release and I could stop suffocating. After a moment of realizing what just happened I grabbed my phone beside me and immediately called Logan before calling an ambulance. As I was waiting for him to answer I looked down and my eyes widened.

Oh god that does not fucking look right.

After telling him what just happened, everything finally started to sink and I don't know why but I just started to shake and cry and panic. I tried to undo my seatbelt but it was jammed and I couldn't get out. My door was crushed into me and the passenger's side was crushing into the street light. I looked down again and I was ready to start screaming my head off. The door had crinkled and bent in and sliced into my leg. Plus the glass from the window practically exploded and I had cuts and gashes along my entire left side. My neck hurts and oh god what if my car explodes?!

I took a look out of the now broken window and saw the car that had ran into me. A small red compact car and the front was completely totaled. People started to gather around that car, and then mine and this made me freak out. People were yelling and asking if I was okay. But I don't know…I just couldn't bring myself to speak. I've never been this way before this has never happened to me, I don't know why I'm like this! I just swallowed my saliva and looked at everyone in pure shock. I noticed a few teenagers gather around, and one of them gasped and started tugging on the shirts of her friends telling them something. Maybe she recognized who I am. I looked back down at my lap and tried to undo the seatbelt once more but…it just wouldn't work and I don't know why! I could hear the sirens blaring in the distance and I noticed a taxi skid to a stop a few feet away.

It felt like it was only a matter of seconds until I saw Logan and James at the door of my car.

* * *

"Logan!" Alex screeched when James and I approached the car. Oh god, I don't even know how she's alive. A head on crash to her side of the car…it's unreal. I quickly ran over to her and she raised a bloody hand to grab mine. "Please get me out please my seatbelt won't …I don't even know the word I'm scared this never happened what do I do!?" She was completely panicking and speaking a million words a minute. I've never seen this side to her, the usually heavily sarcastic and playful girlfriend in complete panic mode. It's unsettling and nerve wrecking and I…I don't know I feel this knot in my stomach and it _kills_ me to see her this way.

"Hey listen to me." James reached in through the window and put a hand on her cheek. "You'll be just fine okay? Just don't panic."

"I'M FUCKING PANICKING!" She screamed before crying. "I'm bleeding and I don't even know where it's coming from and I don't know what to do!" I swallowed and kissed her hand before reaching in and pressing the button on the door to unlock it. Surprisingly I heard a click and James yanked the door handle and pulled it off.

"Okay AJ don't look down—"I tried to stop her from looking down at her legs but she looked down and started hyperventilating immediately when she saw her jeans soaked with blood. "Alex look at me you're going to be okay!" I cupped her face while James leaned forward and tried to yank the seatbelt out. Thankfully he succeeded and pulled it away from her. The two of us put our arms around her and gently got her out of the car just as paramedics had arrived with the stretcher. We laid her down and her face was pale, she was sweating and…god she did not look good.

"Wait wait please wait." She cried and reached her hand out and grabbed the hem of my shirt. "Logan wait please don't leave me! I don't want to go alone!"

"I'm going with you okay? I promise I'm going!" God it was hard to keep my cool, I wanted to badly to just lose my cool and freak out but if Alex saw me going nuts, she'd just freak out even more. I turned to James who patted my back.

"Go dude, I'll stay here and talk to the cops to find out what happened, just stay with her and let me know how she's doing, I'll let the guys know." I nodded and thanked James before hopping into the back of the ambulance. When I sat down I watched as they took a pair of scissors and began to cut the leg of her jeans. Alex looked down before looking back up at me and squeezing the life out of my hand.

"You'll be fine Alex, I promise." I told her while stroking the hair away from her face. "I won't let anything happen to you."

* * *

When I woke up there was a beeping nose and a bright light flooded my eyes. Oh fuck that's it, I'm dead. I'm fucking dead I can't believe I fucking died while flipping out and crying like a bitch.

Oh…wait no that's sunlight.

I turned my head and was surprised to see Logan curled up in the chair beside me with James, Carlos, and Kendall sitting in chairs or on the floor on the other side of the bed. I looked around until I saw the clock and found out that it was seven in the morning. "Logan." I whispered reaching a hand out to him. OH MY GOD MY HAND IS BANDAGED. "Logan!"

He stirred and stretched before opening his eyes. When he saw me awake he jumped out of the chair and stood beside me. "Do you need something? Are you alright? How do you feel?"

"Fucking sore….water would be nice." Logan poured a glass of water for me and even held it to my lips so I could take a drink. "What the hell…uh…what's wrong with me?"

"You were so fucking lucky." Logan breathed staring at me. That crash was head on to your side. You could have been dead _instantly_." He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed shaking his head.

"Alright…..so why didn't I?" I stared up at him and he was biting his lip, oh he's hiding something from me. "Logan tell me."

"That piece of shit car actually saved you." He muttered and I couldn't help but grin like a mad man. "I'm sorry what?"

"Car." James muttered awaking from his sleep along with the rest of the boys. "A firefighter said that your car was built like a steal cage, it absorbed most of the impact."

"You just have lacerations and gashes on your arm, hand, leg and sighed of the body, plus a little bit of neck strain." Kendall answered.

"Oh, and no car." Carlos added as the three of them stood up.

"…I fell asleep though?" I glanced at the boys and Logan chuckled shaking his head.

"God no, they had to knock you out you were going _crazy_ freaking out. They put you under to sew you up without you flailing and screaming and after that you just slept right through it." Logan answered.

"I don't remember freaking out or panicking or anything." I muttered quickly.

Obviously I do but god damn it I don't want to seem like a little bitch, I have an image to keep up.

"Yeah okay." Logan snorted shaking his head. "No need to be a tough girl it's all over with now." He leaned forward and kissed me sweetly before pulling away. "You totally freaked out though."

"Shut the fuck up." I muttered swatting his stomach. "When can I leave?"

"They said when you woke up and gave your statement to the police you'd be good to go." Carlos shrugged, "they had a guy stay here in case you woke up."

"Ah…"I nodded slowly. "What happened to the guy in the car?"

"I can answer that." James uncrossed his arms from across his chest and let one hand rest on the top of my head as he ruffled my hair. Oh god, that must look like a hot mess by now. "The guy was speeding, ran a red light, and was completely _smashed_. He has a broken leg, a broken nose, lacerations all over…he's a lot worse than you are."

"Oh so a fucking drunk driver could have killed me?" I shouted a little bit and James nodded. "Wow, how fucking great. Isn't he so fucking considerate I'd love to fucking talk to him right fucking now!" I sat up and was about to swing my legs off of the side of the bed but Carlos and Kendall held them down.

"Yeah let's _not_ do that." Kendall said as the two held my legs down. "Just relax alright? You really shouldn't be walking or putting pressure anyway you have a lot of stitches." I furrowed my eyebrows and ripped the blanket away from my body to see that my leg indeed had quite a couple long lacerations and stitches.

"OH MY GOD!"

"See, that's the freak out." Logan nodded and I frowned and hit his stomach. "Hey it's okay you freaked out a little bit, I would have shit my pants."

"Yeah Logan definitely would have shit himself." Carlos nodded. "Like violently."

"Probably projectile." Kendall nodded.

"With corn bits." James added with a laugh, and I couldn't help but laugh at the four of them.

"Thanks for coming guys, you didn't have to." They all waved it off and said they would come even for a paper cut, which…aww, holy shit, how nice is that? "Now can I go?"

"How about I go get the officer so you can make your statement and we can get you out of here?" Kendall said and I quickly nodded.

"If you tell people I was panicking I'll fucking kill you." I said to the rest of the boys quickly. "I'll gut you and hang you from your insides."

"Baby you do know that's an absolutely _normal _reaction right? Don't be ashamed of it." Logan said.

"Then don't tell people I panicked, just say I was stoic like a boss."

"Fine." He shook his head and rolled his eyes. I nodded and reached over squeezing Logan's hand.

Well, you know what this means right?

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT MY FUCKING TRUCK BEING THE MOST REALIABLE BITCH EVER FUCK YES.


	24. Tear His Asshole

**(SHY: Oh yeah don't fuck with those good old trusty trucks! No guitar playing… Alex is going to lose her mind.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: OH no it doesn't make you messed up at all, lmao I was purposely trying to get in some laughs, it is my fuck around funny story after all, I had to put some humor in somewhere! Ah man I haven't seen Friday in so so so long…I need to watch that! I just always remember ice cube and Chris tucker going 'dayuuuum'.**

**Am4muzik: LMAO yeah Alex is a bit on the dramatic side always thinking she's dead. That would have been funny to add in though.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: Oh Alex would definitely turn into Jason Voorhees on that motherfucker. Yeah I felt like Alex needed a little weak side, so why not a car accident to fuck her up?! :D Jesus if that happened to me I would have peed myself. If that was a horror movie only two of you would have made it out, and it would have been a guy and a girl who had no romantic interest in each other unless it was secret and found out in the midst of all the terror that they in fact liked each other and saved each other's lives. Like every horror movie.**

**LazyLazyWriter: Me too! I couldn't kill her off though, she's too amusing and says fucked up things.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: ha glad you found it funny!)**

* * *

I would fucking kill the dirt bag piece of shit that drove his fucking car into me. When I gave my statement and Logan was wheeling me out, the officer had to stay in front of the driver's room so I wouldn't go in. I guess he heard me saying I would shove the tire of my car up his asshole until he tasted the dog shit I ran over last week. The officer even told Logan to wheel me in the opposite direction so I wouldn't go and try to kill the driver. Lucky mother fucker he is, I definitely would have tried to hurt him, violently. Plus now I have to leave this place in a god damn wheel chair. I mean what the fuck nuggets; just tell everyone I got in an accident why don't you! Ugh, it was terrible when we got outside there were so many cameras taking pictures of all of us, it was awkward.

See that's the only thing about this; guarantee if I wasn't dating Logan there would be no people out here taking pictures. But of course since I'm fucking him there are people here to take pictures and say I tried to kill myself or I tried to take over the world and blow it way out of proportion. Carlos and Kendall went to their separate cars with us following behind since mine was totaled, James' was dead, and Logan didn't even take his car. Logan helped me into Carlos' jeep before James gave me a tight hug and climbed into Kendall's car. Kendall also gave me a tight hug and ruffled my hair before driving away.

"Feel better ass kicker." Carlos said as he turned around to give me a kiss on the cheek. "Don't murder anyone either."

"No promises." I muttered and kissed him on his cheek. "Thanks Carlos."

"Anytime." He nodded and waited for Logan to help me out of the car. "You sure you don't need any help Logan?"

"Nah I'm good. Thanks buddy." Logan waved to Carlos who pulled away and drove off. Logan scooped me up into his arms and carried me into the elevator and over to his apartment where he laid me down on the sofa. "Alright…uh Kendall said he'll stop by the police impound and get the stuff out of your car so you'll have to wait to get into your place."

"That's fine by me." I nodded and watched as Logan walked into his bedroom and came back with a pair of basketball shorts and a V-neck. "Oh thank god those look more comfortable than these scrubs." Since my clothes had to be cut off of me and no one brought me any clothing to wear, I had to leave the hospital in pink scrubs. Not one of my proudest moments. Logan chuckled and peeled the scrubs off of me before dressing me in his clothes, then he sat next to me and sighed grabbing my hand.

"I'm glad you're okay AJ." He said kissing my hand.

"You and me both Logie, imagine I died that young? Would have been terrible, never got to have a Big Time Orgy, never snorted a line of cocaine, never had a prom night dumpster baby or went skinny dipping in the artic…" Logan tilted his head and stared at me like if I was nuts.

"You're kidding about that Big Time Orgy comment, right?"

"Absolutely!"

Only partially.

"Right…" He chuckled and shook his head before reaching into his pocket. "Alright we have painkillers for you, we have to talk to the insurance company, get you a new car, you have to rest and also do physical therapy, I don't know when you'll be able to play guitar but—"

"Whoa whoa whoa." I held my good hand up to Logan and shook his head. "_No way_ do I need physical therapy I'll be just fine. I can still play guitar, I still have all of my limbs. Just give me the painkillers and we'll call it a day."

"Alex you were in a car accident and you need to do what the doctors tell you to do, so you're going to do physical therapy, and you're not going to play guitar okay?"

"I have to play guitar that's how I make money Logan!" I argued sitting up and I quickly regretted that. I cried out in pain and Logan stood up quickly to help me lay down along the sofa.

"You were hit by a drunk driver; your job now is to get better! Insurance is going to cover the car and everything's going to work out, okay? Don't pretend that you're okay because you're not and I'm going to take care of you." Logan crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at me. Okay fine…he's being really nice and taking care of me but still I don't want to lie in bed for weeks and go to physical therapy, I'm FINE! All I got is a couple of cuts and gashes I'm fine there are no broken limbs or anything!

"Fine." I huffed crossing my arms and wincing.

"Yeah let's not do that." Logan uncrossed my arms and laid them gently over my stomach. "Just relax alright? I'll get you something to eat." He shuffled away to the kitchen and I took this as the time to look over myself. I lifted the shirt and stared at my left side, it was completely bruised with a few small scratches, and a few long cuts with stitches. My arm was bruised and it hurt a lot, and my entire forearm was bandaged up. My leg, oh man. My leg had a pretty bad strand of stitches, it hurts so badly. My leg is purple and red and ugh, I look like half of my body started to transform into Barney. I sighed and closed my eyes as I listened to Logan maneuver around the kitchen. I chuckled hearing pots fall and hearing him curse up a storm. I tried to sit up to stand and go help him but oh god it was too much effort, I just fell right back into place.

When Logan came back he put a bowl of mashed potatoes, cheese, and chicken fingers down on the coffee table. Oh man, my favorite fat ass bowl of food… What the fuck it's been twenty minutes there's no way he made all of that in twenty minutes. "Yeah, boxed mashed potatoes and frozen chicken fingers, but I grated the cheese all by myself."

"You are so lazy." I chuckled as he helped me to sit up straight to eat.

"Hey sometimes when I come home at ten at night I don't feel like cooking!" He defended with a shrug.

"That's why you come next door to eat." I chuckled as he sat beside me.

"Yeah well, sometimes you're sleeping." He shrugged and put the bowl of food on my lap, and I happily dug in. "Oh, this just occurred to me, you probably won't have sex with me for a long time since there's a possibility of ripping your stitches or getting really intense pains from your sides." Logan said and as soon as he finished speaking the doorbell rang, so he quickly got up and ran right over.

Oh my god, I can't even fuck Logan because I could pop a stitch or cry in pain?

Fuck it; challenge accepted I'm not going without fucking him for who knows how long, that is bull SHIT.

Logan came back about a minute later with my purse, my papers and random crap that was in the glove compartment—OH MY GOD THAT'S WHERE I LEFT MY TRAVEL MUG?

Ew I hope it was empty…

"Alright when you finishing eating I will take you to your place and I'll stay with you, got it AJ?"

"You don't have to stay with me Logan." I told him as I shamelessly shoveled food down my throat. "I'll be fine on my own."

"No you won't be AJ; someone needs to take care of you." He leaned over and kissed my temple so sweetly that it hurt and it made me feel like I should be a bit nicer to him, and stop bringing up the fact that he was a clueless child when it came to women.

"You're already doing enough—"

"It's not enough okay?" Logan held my chin and turned my face so I could stare at him. "It's not enough and don't tell me that it is. I'll be here to take care of you and that's final, you can't get rid of me. Got it?"

"Got it…" I mumbled with a nod and watched as he took the now empty bowl and took it to the kitchen to clean up. You know…I hope Logan doesn't think this is his fault. I mean, I offered to drive and pick him up because I have nothing better to do, he didn't ask me to. Alright that's stupid there's no way he could possibly blame himself for that, I doubt Logan would. Anyways when he was done cleaning up he gave me my painkillers and I had no problem downing them like a drug addict. He scooped me up and carried me next door to my apartment where he tucked me into bed like I was a little princess.

"Do you need anything?" He asked as he pulled the covers up to my chest and set the medication down on the nightstand.

"Just uh…stay in bed with me?" I asked and Logan smiled and kicked his shoes off before climbing into bed with me. He lay on my good side and rested my head on his chest as he turned on the TV and kissed my cheek. "I love you AJ." Logan said before kissing my cheek again, and then I felt his body go stiff.

WAIT A MINUTE

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

LOGAN SAID HE LOVES ME.

WHAT?!

"Uhhh that slipped…" Logan muttered quickly.


	25. Nothing Like Air Humps

**(hedleyfaberdrive101: glad you found it sweet!**

**Paumichyy: Yes! Logan loves AJ! WOO HOO**

**Am4muzik: Haha thanks, I'm silly with my chapter titles. Oh Alex will definitely still play guitar for the boys, she's a stubborn bitch she won't let anyone replace her, even if it's temporary.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: Ha you snorted lemonade, good job, hope it didn't burn though. Sexless Alex is pretty much her own personal hell; don't know how she'll be able to deal with it.**

**Carlos'sCupcake; I know Logan, what an idiot trying to pretend that slipped, pft! Oh yeah I know, she should milk it up because she's no getting sex, so she should get something from it lol. **

**Shy: LOGAN'S IN LOVE!**

**LazyLazyWriter: Lmao thanks, I can't help it I like to put goofy titles when I can. Oh yeah, he used the L bomb, but he can't have sex, what a waste.**

**Stephanie E. M: Aww it's so precious their love!**

**DeniseDEMD: Woo I hope you like this update with the um…precious boyfriend and the weird girlfriend lol.)**

* * *

DID HE JUST SAY THAT SLIPPED?

NO MOTHER FUCKER, I LOVE YOU DOES NOT SLIP!

"Those words do not just slip out of someone's mouth!" I said turning my head to stare at Logan. "You said you love me." I smirked deviously and Logan's eyes widened as he stared at me, I suddenly remembered a very lovely seen from Miss Congeniality. "You said you love me, you want to hold me, you want to kiss me, you want to marry me, you want to have my babies—"

"Are you done? The last one wasn't even in rhythm, and you're our guitarist without rhythm? That's terrible Alex."

"Hey don't try to distract me." I swatted his chest. "You said you love me!" I couldn't help but reach over and pinch his cheek. "I love you too Logie-Bear."

"You really just ruined a perfectly nice moment by calling me that." He joked, but kissed me softly on the forehead.

"Yeah I know, but it doesn't matter because you love me!"

"Yeah, besides not like you can have sex anyways."

Oh….oh god that's right I _can't_ have sex. I can't have sex with Logan and he just confessed that he loves me. Well holy fuck that isn't fair! In what world is it okay to say 'I love you' and then just not have sex? It's only okay if there is food or you're in public, but as soon as you're left alone you're supposed to have sex. For me not to fuck Logan is just completely unfair.

"That's really not okay. Can't I at least get a hand?" I whined staring at him. Logan threw his head back laughing and placed his hand gently on my belly.

"Well of course you can." FUCK YEAH WOO-HOO! "But I won't do that."

You piece of shit.

* * *

"You are absolutely the most fucked up boyfriend in the world." I scoffed watching Logan leave my bathroom. It's been a few weeks and I'm going to my first physical therapy session. Since Logan is off from filming today he'll be taking me and helping me out while I'm there. Because you know, I'd rather have Logan molesting my legs and body then some certified, professional stranger. Anyway I was sitting on the sofa dressed and ready to go, Logan had just stepped out of my shower completely naked and drenched and it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

"What makes me so fucked up?" Logan questioned standing there in the nude and using the towel to dry his hair. "I'm a great boyfriend, I feed you, take you places, help you get dressed. I'm a prince charming!" He chuckled.

"You're standing there absolutely naked and glistening and I can't even touch you!" I whined which only made Logan laugh.

"Oh I know baby." Logan then proceeded to shake his hips and hump the air in front of me. "You miss this right?"

"I hate you."

"Love you too." He chuckled and walked away from me and went to my room to get the clothes he had laid out on the bed. Ugh. It's one thing to see him doing that little dance move on stage where he thrusts once and that's it, it's another to see him doing that in front of me completely naked. It's a fucking tease. Lord knows I tried to have my way with him too. I was DEAD SET on doing it. It was last week, I rolled over him and tried to sit up on my knees but as soon as I did so the pain just shot through my leg and I had to roll off of him.

At least I get points for trying, there was no way I could just …NOT touch him, that's bull shit, I want me some Logie.

"Alright let's go princess." Logan scooped me into his arms and walked to the door. He doesn't even let me attempt to walk, he said him carrying me was good, a great workout for his biceps.

I…I think he called me fat but I don't know.

"Oh and if you grab my crotch in the car again I will air punch you." He threatened playfully as we stood in the elevator.

"Fine…" I sighed dramatically and rested my head on his shoulder.

"You know, you _can_ use the wheelchair."

"No fuck that, you and I both know it will only make me lazier than I already am."

"That's true." Logan laughed putting me in the car. What? It is absolutely true if I stay seated in the wheelchair I will just go up and down the hallways and slide up and down hills and just not do anything. I'll fucking love it to, I will never walk again I'll just slide everywhere fuck that. See? That's why I won't let myself use it; I'll become the ultimate lazy girl because sliding everywhere just seems so fun...

"So just settle on carrying me around." I laughed.

"Wait….that's making you a lazy bitch too then." He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at me as he started the car.

"No it doesn't just drive." I mumbled quickly. Logan smiled and shook his head and started the drive to the doctor's office. As he was driving I would glance around every so often, or well, the entire time to make sure no cars were running any lights. What? I don't want the same thing to happen to Logan in this tiny sports car, it'll be terrible!

"Baby I'm a good driver; you don't have to be on the lookout." Logan said as he made a left turn.

"Doesn't matter if you're a good driver, other people aren't. You have to drive like everyone around you is a retard and you have to dodge them." I answered looking around. "That guy ran a yellow light…."

"He's nowhere near us it's okay." Logan sighed and squeezed my hand. "Why don't you close your eyes and relax?"

Close my eyes in a car?

HA!

FAT CHANCE BITCH.

When we get there Logan helped me out of the car and well, because I didn't want to seem like the lazy fat ass I am on the first day of professional molestation, Logan helped me to walk inside.

I know, baby steps, I'm trying.

"Of course it's a dude." Logan muttered under his breath as we stepped into the room, but I heard him. It's okay, I won't cheat on Logan, the guy's cute but he has a ponytail.

My body does not respond well to men with ponytails, we both agree we don't like it.

"Hey my name's Michael I'll be your physical therapist." He smiled and shook my hand, then Logan's.

Michael huh? I'll just say Mike, fuck it.

"I'm Logan, this is **my girlfriend** Alex." Wow Logan, put the testosterone away.

"Hey Alex, so we're just going to get right into it, Logan feel free to go out in the waiting room or stay here and watch—"

"I'll stay here." Logan nodded as Mike helped me to lie down.

"That's perfectly fine, you can watch how I do it then I'm sure you'll be here to help her?" Logan crossed his arms over his chest and nodded. Oh god, why do I feel like Logan's imagining himself hitting this dude in the face? "Alright we're going to start with some leg raises so just relax…" Mike stood on one side of the table beside Logan proceeded to slowly raise my left leg. "It might hurt a little bit but if it gets too intense just let me know okay?"

"Sure thing." I nodded and watched as he held my thigh and shin and lifted my leg further up. Oh man, Logan looks like he'll die.

"Wow no pain at all?"

"Just a little, but I used to work my legs out all the time so…"

"Ah, so you're used to a bit of strain." He nodded then did the same for the other leg. We did this a few times and Logan stood there still as ever with his arms crossed over his chest. Yeah, he went casual today in a baggy t shirt, jacket, and jeans, but I think next time he's going to bust out the tight V-neck to show off his muscles. After a little bit Logan was allowed to try what he was doing to help me. There are other people here at once so if Logan or someone comes to the appointments it's a lot of help to him. Plus it'll make me feel more comfortable with someone I know doing it.

Well, not when Logan looks like he wants to just whip his dick out and measure it.

So Logan helped me to do the leg raises, then Mike moved on to heel slides. So he helped me to sit up and pushed my legs down so they were flat. "Alright so what you're going to do is slowly bring your heel back to your butt by bending the knee, and don't lift the heel off." He held my foot and slowly started to push it with me.

"Ah okay okay stop it!" I cringed and almost kicked him but he held my leg.

"Okay that's fine, now we're going to just slowly bring it back to starting position." He slowly helped me to straighten my leg. "Okay? Can you do it again?"

"Hopefully." I muttered.

"Great I—"

"Mike, Tina's here to get into the pool, can you help her get settled?" Someone called to him.

"Yeah I can!" Mike yelled then turned to me, "Just give me fifteen minutes okay? I'll be right back. Perhaps Logan can help you here with the heel slides."

"Sure." I nodded and Logan watched him leave before standing closer to the table and helping me out.

"I don't like him." Logan muttered.

"You don't like him because he is a male who is fit and gets to touch me." I laughed.

"So? That's good enough reason, besides he thinks you're pretty."

"Where do you even get that from?" I questioned and clawed the shit out of his bicep when he went too far, so he stopped pushing and helped me ease my leg back down.

"I'm a guy I can tell." Logan answered. "Besides, he kept staring at your chest." Logan shook his head and moved on to the other leg.

HA OTHER MEN LOOK AT ME!

SCORE ONE FOR ME LOOKING GOOD!

"Aw little Logie's jealous." I cooed leaning forward and pinching his cheek. "It's okay baby, I only have eyes for you. Oh, and the guy who plays Captain America."

"Dude that so isn't cool." Logan shook his head with a small smile on his face.

"I'm teasing don't worry! Somewhat!"


	26. Stab Your Asshole

**(SHY: LMAO well Alex certainly has no filter, she lets it be known!**

**LazyLazyWriter: You know what would be even better? Logan wearing the Captain America suit, delicious.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: Yay I'm glad you think so! Thank you so much!**

**Am4muzik: LOL, if a guy's hair is longer than mine, I am not okay with it. Aw I'm glad you really like my stories, that means so much to me!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Honestly I would have slapped his balls to get even. Extremely cruel but ya know, it gets the job done. Oh yeah they're kind of fun, I've been in it once like a loooong time ago and I got pushed around, woo hoo!**

**Paumichyy: Yes he is! Poor jealous Logie.**

**Taylor Shine: Don't worry about it; I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: Oh yeah I definitely hate that, it frustrates me. I mean…sheesh, and then if his hair is BETTER than mine, then I really get pissed off, it sucks balls.**

**AppleManderin: Yay for jealous Logan be funny and sexy! **

**Emy. Elle: LMAO it's okay, stand up girl you don't have to bow! It's totally okay, there's no need to bow since we've ruined the image of ideal men because Logan is so wonderful lmao.**

**DeniseDEMD: Glad you liked the chapter and Logan's jealousy!)**

****Ugh, I'm going through a peanut butter withdrawal. The peanut butter crack whore in me is dying…*****

* * *

"I really do not think you should be in the studio." Logan said as I slipped on my flats. Another month had past and that was about as far as they could push back the recording of the songs for their third album. So…I am forcing myself to go to work.

"Well, you're not my mother." I smiled up at Logan who just continued to glare at me with his arms crossed over his chest." Logan…" I sighed.

"Look I don't want you to hurt yourself or put anymore strain! I think your health should be more important to you than some guitar playing, they can replace you until you're better."

"Yeah so that's not going to happen, Alex Jones does not get replaced." I said while standing up. Logan has become a bit of a nervous nelly; every time I go to stand up he throws his arms out to catch me as though I'm going to fall. Hey, I've been doing pretty well with my physical therapy; I will not be falling anytime soon. Sheesh, I'm so offended I'm not that clumsy.

Well, I suppose me being clumsy is up for debate, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm fucking awesome. "I'm perfectly capable of playing today Logan. I'll just sit on the stool and strum my guitar and all will be okay. It's not nearly as hard as singing so don't be all up my butt." Logan raised an eyebrow as he put a hand around my waist to steady me as I walked.

"You wish I was all up your butt." He remarked.

"That's an exit, not an entrance." I told him while slapping his chest. Logan just laughed and shrugged and continued to walk with me. "So since you think the ass is an entrance, I'm going to assume that you yourself have in fact—"

"Oh gross." Logan cringed making a disgusted face.

"What? It's an entrance for me but an exit for you? What a double standard Logan I am shocked by this sexist behavior!" Logan rolled his eyes and opened the car door for me. I happily climbed in and buckled my seatbelt while he started the car.

"You know because you keep mentioning shoving things up asses, I'm just going to assume you want it up there and I'll give you a surprise attack." My eyes widened as Logan's four second grin fell and he just started laughing at himself.

"You wouldn't dare."

"No, but your face was priceless." He laughed as we pulled out of the parking garage and started heading to the studio. "So if you feel like you're in pain just let me know okay? I have your pain medication. Actually speaking of, did you take your meds this morning?"

Asking if I took my meds this morning makes me feel as though I'm a crazy person that he's talking to.

"No I forgot." I muttered and Logan quickly glared at me. "I'll take them when we order lunch, it'll be fine!"

"I hope so; we can't have you crying mid-verse."

"I'm glad you're so concerned about the songs." I rolled my eyes and Logan responded by reaching over and grabbing my hand. It's so weird; I'm not used to this at all. Logan's so…up my butt caring and protective. He takes me to physical therapy, and when he's able to he stays with me and does the exercises. He keeps telling me it's so I'm more comfortable, but I know for a fact it's because he doesn't want Mike the ponytail guy to feel up my fabulous legs and touch my body.

Oh, he fucking hates when I tell him that he doesn't like it when Mike touches my body. He gets so annoyed because well, I rub it in his face. So to get back at me he would occasionally walk around naked or tease me, knowing that I couldn't touch him. I thought 'ha ha jokes on him because I just got my stitches removed'. Nope, joke was on me it still hurt too much but I am better and he is going to fucking get it. I plan on kidnapping his ass. Well, kidnapping his penis. We're both free on Friday and I'm just going to make him wish he didn't have a penis.

Oh yeah, I'm going there.

Bitch is going to fucking regret it.

Anyway, when we got to the studio Logan carried my guitar inside and patiently waited as it took me a little longer than usual to keep up the pace with him. When we got into the studio all I heard was a loud chorus of 'hey!' before being wrapped in James' arms. Well, if I had, as what the fan fiction site likes to call 'James feels', my pants would be wet.

"How ya feeling there Alex?" James questioned while he pulled away and ruffled my hair.

"Not bad James, just dealing with my nurse a lot, she's bossy you know." I joked gesturing to Logan who shook his head and set my guitar down.

"Ah yeah, Logie loves to be a good little nurse." James laughed while I hugged Carlos.

"Feeling better? You look better." Carlos said as he looked me over. "What, no cane?"

"No—"

"She refuses to use it." Logan answered quickly. Well the cane hurts my hand….sheesh.

"Wow, what a rebel." Kendall laughed before hugging me tightly, my back cracked and he pulled away so quickly with the biggest eyes I had ever seen. "Oh my god I'm so sorry are you okay?!"

"Yeah I'm fine, relax princess." I laughed as I popped open the guitar case and pulled out Scarlet. I sighed happily as I ran my fingers along the body like if she was my bitch, before turning to the guys. "So are we ready to get shit done?"

* * *

"I remember when we broke up." Kendall sang.

"The first time." Carlos sang quietly.

"Saying, 'this is it I've had enough'" Logan smiled nodding his head along.

"Cause like." Carlos added in the background.

"We hadn't seen each other in a month." James sang of course in his little perfect voice.

"When you said you needed space." Carlos grinned. Yeah, we were taking a little break and well… okay well I've been home doing jack shit and Taylor Swift came out with her new song and because I've played with her before I had to listen to it and well it's really fucking addicting. So I started to play a little guitar cover of it while we were waiting for our food and it just turned into an impromptu cover. Though if Logan and I ever break up and he pulls this shit by writing a song about it and making billions I'll fucking kill him.

"Hey we should record that." Carlos grinned happily. "I think our fans would like it."

"You know what you _should _do." I said as I gently put Scarlet in her case. "Date Taylor Swift, have her dump you, let the Rushers attack, that would be hilarious."

"You always have such good plans." Kendall laughed.

"I know." I sighed happily and sat down on the sofa while putting my legs up next to me over Logan's lap and he so lovingly proceeded to massage my legs, sweet. James quickly ran downstairs to get the food that we had delivered. Ah yes, healthy food all around. Instead of burgers we actually ordered from some organic place to please Kendall. I don't mind, I ordered a peanut butter smoothie to go with my turkey BLT wrap, so I'm a happy camper. Granted, my stomach might say a big 'fuck you' to me later, it will all be worth it.

"You're a failure." James laughed as he watched me sip the smoothie through the straw, but well, my bottom lip was doing a poor job of holding the straw so my smoothie spilled onto my shirt. "You'll walk around all hobbled but you can't feed yourself?"

"I hate you James." I laughed as I slowly stood up from the couch. "I'll be back." I muttered as I stepped forward to go to the bathroom. Now here's something I have noticed, and god damn it I should have used that to pay attention today but I didn't. Kendall's fucking messy as hell. If I had a dollar for how many times Carlos cleaned up after him on tour I could retire as one rich bitch. Anyway, I should not have been surprised when I tripped over his bag that was lying on the ground, that's my own fucking fault.

"OH MY GOD!" I screamed like a bitch when I hit the ground and banged my knee on the floor. "SWEET CHRIST OF APPLE PIE WHAT THE FUCK!"

"Shit!" Logan yelled and jumped up from the sofa. He ran over to me and picked me up from the ground. "Are you okay!?"

"MY BONE IS CRYING TO ME SAYING IT'S GOING TO STAB KENDALL IN THE ASSHOLE!" I yelled as I kept my eyes shut tight and held my leg.

"I am so so so sorry Alex!" Kendall said quickly as he came to sit by me. "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm going to fuck you up." I muttered. "As soon as you guys go back on set or we go on tour I'm going to fuck you up and embarrass you and you'll cry."

"Alex I'm really really sorry is there anything I can do?" Kendall questioned and I looked over at him.

"Oh I'll think of something." I muttered glaring at him. Okay so I may be over exaggerating a bit with the bone screaming part but it HURT and we told him an hour ago to pick up his bag because James threatened to step on it and Carlos said he would throw it on the garbage if it stayed on the floor. So….my threat is you know… applicable here.

* * *

**Friday**

Logan stayed overnight because I hid his keys. Yeah I probably didn't _need_ to do it, but his dick is mine today. So as soon as I woke up I went to freshen up in the bathroom, and then I walked into my bedroom and locked the door behind me. Oh yeah, he's not leaving. I walked over to my bed and made sure I could first sit up on my knees, and I can.

Oh that's it, he's getting fucked senseless. I crawled over to Logan, sat over his waist, used my nail clippers to start a little rip in his shirt, and then I grabbed the collar and ripped the shirt off of him. This definitely woke him up.

"The hell are you doing!?" Logan groaned rubbing his eyes, but the groaning quickly turned into moaning as I licked up and down his chest.

"I am screwing your brains out."


	27. MY TURN BITCHES!

**(hedleyfaberdrive101: Oh yeah Alex would definitely rape the soul out of Logan lol.**

**LazyLazyWriter: Oh go ahead and imagine! Lol**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Imagine Alex cripples Logan and he can't walk but she leaves totally fine? Ahhh….sex, it's funny.**

**DeniseDEMD: Oh Logan will SO love it!**

**Am4muzik: Oh Dr. Mitchell is the bomb fucking diggity!**

**Emy. Elle: That's true, they all know she would dump them in two months, write a song, and make millions off of them. Fuck that! But yeah rushers would kill her, they scare me lmao, I go on twitter and I just see some of the comments and well….it makes me retreat to my cave. AHA LOGAN FEELS YOU GOT A CASE OF THE FEELS!**

**PerfectPiranha: Regret he shall, SEXUALLY!**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: OH NO EXCUSES FROM YOU! You SO do not suck at writing the lovely smut, I just read it with my jaw hanging open it is SO AWESOME! But uh…yeah you'll kill me for this, there's no smut…**

**Taylor Shine: I'm glad you like Alex! I think she's pretty cool myself.)**

****IDK how to write smut! Lmao I'm sorry! I've honestly spent time trying but I re-read it and it just looked awkward so I scrapped it****

*****This really does have no plot lmao, should I just continue to fuck around with it?*****

* * *

"You're not in too much pain?" Logan questioned. Dude, shut the fuck up, I'm about to rape you, don't ask if I'm in too much pain to do so. Just accept the fact that I'm ready to rock my world, and his world, but mostly mine. I mean, I've been suffering more than he has, and I deserve to have a good time. Or several good times.

Several good times for me…

"No, but thanks for asking." I laughed and bit down on his nipple making him hiss. Part of me feels a little bit bad, I mean, I think I bit down a bit too hard but uh….oh well! Suck it up bitch.

"You are just—"

"Really. Really. Horny." I answered while sitting over his lap and staring down at him with my hands pinning his wrists down. Yup, he's going to be my bitch today, I think I deserve this. "You walk around naked and glistening for two months and I can't even touch you. You think that's so funny, well you know what? Your hips are going to break today, you're _mine_." I smirked deviously and I thought Logan would freak out but nope, he just raised an eyebrow and grinned at me. Oh boy, he's into this. Good, because if got freaked out that would be seriously awkward. I might have to just crawl off of him in shame and hang my head for a week, maybe even just give up on sex.

HA, that would never happen.

Well…I mean I _could_ just resort to fan fiction if that ever happened.

Obviously there's no fucking way that I'm strong enough to keep him pinned down, so he easily rolled over me, but I pushed him off the bed and onto the floor. Eesh, the neighbors downstairs are going to stab me for that. Oh well, it was worth it! I quickly scrambled over to sit over him and yank his pajama pants and boxers down. Oh, me being dominate just works WONDERS on his body.

"You're not keep me down today Logan. Like I said, you're _mine_ and this is _my_ rodeo."

* * *

"Oh fuck…" Logan groaned as I rolled off of him and flopped on the bed beside him. "How many times did we do it?"

"I lost count after four." I laughed deviously and glanced over at Logan who was breathing heavily and staring down at me. "I told you I was going to make you mine today."

"That was not an understatement." He sat up and winced, "Oh fuck my hips are broken."

"Wow, only on top a few times and your hips are dead? Eesh, you're rusty and out of practice aren't you?" I smirked at Logan who shook his head slowly at me.

"You're pushing your luck AJ!"

"Mmm maybe I want it to be pushed?" I raised an eyebrow challenging him but all he did was laugh and shake his head.

"As much as I'd love to do it again, I don't think I can right now. I need fuel." He patted his empty belly and threw his legs off the side of the bed.

"Oh that's right I woke you up and raped you." I chuckled and stood up from bed. He reached for his shirt but I snatched it up quickly and threw it over myself. Logan rolled his eyes and pulled on his pajama pants.

"Yeah, didn't even feed me!"

"Oh boo hoo." I laughed and walked out of the bedroom with Logan quickly behind me. He slapped my ass and oh my god I actually tripped, but he caught me around the waist and pulled me back. "God damn it."

"Huh, so you have the jelly legs too huh? Yeah I have that effect on people." He laughed and kissed the back of my neck before scurrying off to the kitchen. I sat at the table while he pulled the door open and looked inside. "Alright, how does cold leftover pizza sound?" He questioned. Ah, he just looks so beautiful standing there with his pants barely hanging onto his waist and nothing on top.

"Sounds like you can put it in the oven and _not_ feed me cold pizza." I smiled and Logan shook his head at me. He took out the slices, turned them on the oven and threw them on foil before putting them in the oven. "So…that two month wait totally made everything awesome, but don't you ever tease me for two months and not give it to me ever again."

"Hey I learned my lesson ma'am." Logan chuckled throwing his hands up in surrender as he sat across from me. Oh, that little Texan drawl is coming out, how delicious. It doesn't come out often, but sometimes it slips and it's just SUCH a treat.

"Yeah I don't need to spank you later?"

"Oh let's not go _that_ far Alex. The only one that's allowed to get spanked around here is you; I'm not going to be that much of a bitch." Logan said quickly.

"Okay okay that's fair I get it!" I nodded. Thank god he said no to that, if I had to spank Logan to 'punish' him that would feel weird. That's no fun, that's like…a Freud situation and that would be awkward. But if he wants to spank me that's TOTALLY okay. There's so many things you can do with it that's not creepy at all! Like hot professor and misbehaving student! Or…doctor…? Yeah I don't know, okay so that's the only one I thought of so far but that's fine with me! Or…what else qualifies for spanking? OH like a police officer and a criminal?

HEEEY THAT'S AN IDEA!

"Are you day dreaming again?" Logan laughed.

"No! I am not day dreaming, I don't need to I took out my two months of frustration." I sighed happily and Logan raised an eyebrow. Okay so that's a load of crap, I did _start_ to fantasize but he fucking distracted me. God damn it, well there goes those happy perverted thoughts. Well maybe not happy, just dirty rough thoughts. Oh sigh…

"I don't think that was enough sex for two months." Logan answered with a laugh. "I think within two weeks we would have more sex than we just did today." Well, he does have a point there, but hello dude, I'm recovering from a car accident and it is physically impossible to fuck enough times to make up for two months lack of sex within the timespan between waking up and late lunch time, it's just not happening.

"OH says you mister 'wah my hips hurt!'" I mimicked Logan and he responded by throwing a sugar packet at my face before going to check on the pizza. "Pft, what a big baby." I scoffed, watching as he bent over and took the food from the oven. Ah, another lovely view of his ass.

If he was naked though it would be like seeing the moon, it's just so god damn white it's unbelievable.

"If I'm a big baby, then you're a pedophile. How does that feel Alex?" Logan questioned as he slid the pizza in front of me. "How do you feel knowing that you fucked a baby hmm?"

"Really disturbing…" I laughed and began to eat the pizza. "Alright so we got a lot done yesterday aside from me falling over Kendall not picking his shit up off the fucking floor! So we'll go in tomorrow, do a few more tracks and we should be okay? Third album will be out and millions more teenage girls will want to fuck you?"

"Tomorrow and maybe the day after, while you were on leave we had already started to record the vocals, mostly just need the guitar track now which you can knock out quickly. But yes so many more teenage girls will have the desire to fuck me and would just love to kill you." Logan nodded after taking a bite of his slice. "You know they're already planning another tour?"

"Get the fuck out….already?"

"Yeah these things take months to plan AJ." Logan chuckled and nodded. "We don't know if it's going to be a world tour or not, but you know what this means right?"

"What?" I questioned and reached down to pet Alistair behind the ears.

"We're so going to fuck with you on tour, it's pranks part two baby."

GOD DAMN IT THEIR FUCKING PRANKS ARE GOING TO BE THE FUCKING DEATH OF ME.

I FUCKING GOT LOCKED IN A FREEZER, DID THAT BANANA AND SPRITE CHALLENGE, GOT WRAPPED IN PLASTIC, AND FUCKING HAD POPSICLES SHOVED DOWN MY PANTS ON NUMEROUS ACCOUNTS. FUCKING FUCK STICKS DAMN IT!

"You look like you want to stab me." Logan laughed hysterically and held his hands out for Alistair who ran right over and jumped on him.

"Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to cause some damage on tour. I need to get back at you motherfuckers."


	28. Safety First!

**(Carlos'sCupcake: Oh yes, another tour full of more havoc and anything I pull out of thin air.**

**LazyLazyWriter: Yay glad you thought so!**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: You know I just might make it a never ending story lol.**

**DeniseDEMD: Haha I'm glad you like Alex. I like that plan, prank her and suffer without sex? That sounds like a good idea…not for Logan; he'll die, but too bad!**

**Am4muzik: Nah this isn't the end. I probably will make it like…50 chapters and just keep going on and on with it, I just like it!**

**Emy. Elle: That's a great point it is kind of like normal life…Yeah I'll keep it going! I like it anyways Alex is just so special…)**

* * *

Alright so, I am COMPLETELY better. I got my new car, I've got lovely little battle scars on the left side of my body, I have sex whenever I want to except when blood is pouring out of my vagina. Things are looking pretty damn good!

Of course I had to get a new car at some point and well, I wanted to go by myself or with anyone except Logan because Logan became incredibly anal up my ass bat shit crazy about getting a safe vehicle. Meanwhile my crappy little truck saved my life, but it's fine I'll still rub that in his face every now and then. So I was going to bring James along because he knows his cars, and he isn't a safety psychopath like Logan. TURNS OUT, he became one too, except he didn't want me to get a huge truck because I'm apparently a dainty little woman and I should get a small, safe car.

That seemed oddly sexist to me.

'You're a young adult! Get a sexy car, not a huge mom car!' They said… 'Don't drive a minivan!' They said…

Okay, so I'm guilty on that part I was looking at cars on my laptop when I was hanging out with them on the set of their show and they caught me looking at mini vans.

I like big cars I can't help it.

But yeah…I understood the whole mom minivan thing so; I decided to go with a smaller car. FOR NOW! But as soon as I'm pregnant or I lose my job and need to live out of my car, I am selling a little piece of shit and getting my truck.

Anyway, James and Logan were originally going to take me to get a new car, and then it somehow turned into Carlos and Kendall tagging along, so I had four males picking out my car. That pretty much leaves it so I have no say because they're all very anal and protective about shit. It's sweet, but can be fucking annoying. I like my burly trucks…so this isn't fair.

The awkward part was when Logan asked how much I was willing to spend on the car. Uh, well not fucking much Logan, I'm a cheap chick, I do not like to waste money, so when I told him that I planned on being cheap he stared at me and said he'd split the cost, that conversation when something like this…

"Why the hell would I let you pay for half of my car? Number one, I can afford an expensive car, I just don't want it. Second, I'm a grown woman; you don't need to pay for it."

"Well …maybe it can be a gift?" Logan questioned.

"Dude…no! What's wrong with you?"

"How about I'll pay for any add ons I get on your car?"

"What the fuck are you going to add onto my car which I have yet to pick?"

"I don't know, more safety features." I just stared at him for a solid minute before I spoke.

"We'll discuss this when I actually get a car."

So what was their answer? Well, they took me to an Audi dealership. Carlos did extensive safety research and found out for 2012 the Audi A6 was one of the safest cars….so guess what I was getting? Now they have…quite a lot of additional features. So while I was reading over them Logan simply started checking off everything, from additional airbags to safety assistance, to …okay well I added on the sound system and LED lights but uh…yeah. He acts like I'm the worst driver in the world and that I'm going to die as soon as I sit in the car, so he was paying for that safety assistance bullshit because I didn't even fucking want it.

Fuck, by the time I signed everything I was so fucking annoyed I just wanted to take the keys they handed to me and stab it into the seats. God… it's sweet that they care but it's so fucking over bearing. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SIT IN THE FUCKING CAR FIRST WHEN WE WERE LOOKING AT IT! James sat inside first to make sure it was spacious because he's the biggest one. Then Carlos, then Kendall, then Logan. They all did their little bullshit tests on it before I could even say if I wanted it or not! God…it fucking…enraged me!

But I can't lie, as soon as I got those keys and turned on the engine the day I picked it up, the baby purred like a sex kitten and it was magical. Black leather interior, glossy black exterior oh man…it was uh…it was sexy. I decided to name her Roxanne that seems like a sexy name. I mean, if I was a sex addict I would be named Roxanne—wait a minute….

Anyways, she may be small but she makes me want to curl up and live inside her forever like a fetus. AS IF I'M THE FETUS AND SHE'S THE WOMB. Wow I need to stop I really just freaked myself out here. Alright, no more of that for me, that's just weird. But she really is a magnet for attention, people just look at the car and they're like 'whoa, that's a nice ride' and yes, yes it is a nice ride I'm growing quite accustomed to this little slut. In fact, she's so great that James stole her for a joy ride.

Then Kendall stole the car for a solid hour.

Then Carlos went on a food run with it and almost spilled food inside.

Then Logan took her for a ride and was left with the gas bill. HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

Oh by the way, I totally raped the shit out of Logan at the studio. I couldn't help myself he was asking for it. Logan and Carlos were stuck on the set since like four in the morning and they were going to be there the entire day. So Carlos' personal trainer stopped by to get in a workout and so Logan worked out with him. Well, when Logan walked into his dressing room all sweaty wearing a tank top and shorts, I dropped that magazine, and then dropped his pants.

God, no sex really made me a fucking maniac lately.

Anyways soon enough we'll be going on another tour. Whether or not we'll have dates outside the US is undecided, but I feel like we might do it. Maybe Kendall can meet an English girl and kidnap her and bring her home. Or James…or Carlos…for some reason they all die for the English accent, and I thought that was just a woman thing. Turns out, it's not.

Well, they've wrapped up filming for the fourth season and tonight is the first episode. So we'll all be gathering at Carlos' house to celebrate and watch it. Since I'm such a lovely guest, I lovingly made vanilla cupcakes and slapped some sprinkles and frosting on them!

"Let's go Alistair!" I yelled to my dog. Aw, he's not a puppy anymore, he's so big but he's so gorgeous. Logan's already there since they had a photo shoot; they all just went straight to Carlos' house after. I loaded up the cupcakes and my wonderful dog into the car and drove over to Carlos' house. When I got there and he answered the door he dropped to his knees to play with Alistair, so precious. Finally he took the cupcakes from me and I watched as Alistair ran into the living room and absolutely tackled James.

"One day I'm stealing you." James cooed to my dog as he scratched behind his ears.

"Then after that I'm stealing you from him." Kendall remarked as he scratched his back.

"Wow, good to know my dog is safe in your hands." I joked and flopped on the sofa beside Logan. "Alright, so what should I expect for this episode? Cross dressing? Subtle sexual innuendos? Logan crying and fainting? James becoming ugly?"

"Ouch!" James chuckled.

"You'll see, be patient." Carlos chuckled putting the cupcakes down on the coffee table before taking out his iPhone. Oh man, so it begins. "Hey Rushers! Carlos here at MI CASA for the premiere of BTR Season 4! You guys ready?" Carlos aimed the camera at all of us.

"I heard James is naked in this episode." Logan nodded seriously at the camera, and then leaned over me to stare at James. "Isn't that right?"

"They couldn't fit me in frame." James chuckled, and then suddenly his face was serious. "My body of course, not my buddy, my entire body, I'm too tall."

"Yeah, that's what you meant." Kendall snickered shaking his head.

"How about you little buddy? Are you ready?" Carlos knelt down in front of Alistair who howled before tackling him and knocking him over. "OH MY GOD! Yup he's ready! Bye Rushers! Wait, say something Alex!"

"Banana hammock." I nodded to the camera, and then Carlos cut the video. "Wow that was inappropriate James."

"Hey they're getting older just like us; they can handle a little joke." James chuckled as he picked up Alistair, who like I said, is no longer puppy, and laid him across his lap.

"Yeah but now they'll be disappointed they won't see you naked." Kendall said while shaking his head. "Big mistake."

"To be fair, Logan was the one that set them up to think they'd see him naked. If anything Logan's going to get slaughtered." Carlos laughed while sitting on the lounge chair.

"You'll save me right?" Logan questioned looking down at me.

"HA! No! You are absolutely on your own with that one, I won't deal with angry Rushers they scare the shit out of me." I shook my head while leaning against Logan.

"Aw come on they're so sweet!" Carlos replied.

"No they _can_ be sweet, but Logan fan girls want to stab me for dating him. Of course if I ever dump Logan, they'll want to set me on fire and drag my body through the country. But yeah other than that they're nice!" I nodded and chuckled while Logan just shook his head.

"They'd probably do more than that." James laughed, "You should check your fan mail and see if they sent you any death threats."

"Wait I get fan mail?" I furrowed my eyebrows and the four of them stared at me as though I tried to sacrifice a baby lamb in front of them.

"Do you not go to your P.O. box?" Kendall questioned.

"I HAVE A P.O. BOX!?"

"The company set one up for you a while ago…" Logan laughed and shook his head, "I'll take you tomorrow."

"Why was I not told of this?"

"Guarantee you were and you didn't care." Carlos chuckled.

"Eh that's probably true—alright shut up bitches your show is starting!" So there we sat for half an hour eating cupcakes and watching the first episode of season four. I have to say, it was pretty funny. It definitely explains why James and Carlos were bound and gagged on chairs back to back but uh….actually no. Nothing will ever explain that but I won't press it.

"So what did you think AJ?" Logan questioned.

"I think the show writers have been reading fan fiction and know that the fans want to see you boys tied up in order to rape you."

What? At least I'm honest.


	29. Hypocrite

**(Alrighty, I'm tired and wanted to get this out before I get started on studying….but the consensus for reviews was around the same, I'm glad you guys found it funny/disgusting about the blood pouring stuff! Lol, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.)**

* * *

That mother fucker.

Shut the fuck up for the love of all that is holy and good with the world.

This morning I woke up early to walk Alistair, then I went to the gym for a few hours and then Logan showed me what the hell a P.O. Box was and I got the joy of taking home two boxes of fan mail. I'm proud to say that fans have sent me absolutely adorable bracelets and links to their fan fiction. I'm sad to say that there were only two threats saying I should break up with Logan because I'm too cruel. I would have loved to see a few more, perhaps next time I'll get more threats. Anyways it may not seem like much, but sitting there and reading is absolutely fucking exhausting. So you know what? I went to bed early, at ten because I was that exhausted.

But you know what? All I like to do is get in bed and snuggle up in my comforter with Alistair and sleep. The thing that's so fucking amazing is that the guys went over to Logan's apartment tonight to hang out and drink and have a good time. See now at least I'm dating Logan and I can be a complete bitch about him being noisy because he has to love me regardless. So I crawled out of bed, marched next door and banged on the door like if I was the police.

"Hey baby…" Logan was smiling at first but that adorable fucking grin fell when he saw me standing there like Satan ready to collect his soul. "We're loud aren't we?"

"Yes." I gritted through my teeth. "Shut the fuck up. For the love of everything you have ever loved. Be fucking quiet so I can sleep. I swear on my guitar that if you make another fucking peep I will not blow you for a month." Logan's jaw fell. "Yeah don't fucking try me Logan I want to sleep."

"Okay! Okay I promise no more noises!" Logan said quickly. "Just uh…good night okay? Sleep well…no more noises." He stepped forward cautiously and kissed my cheek. I just nodded at him and turned on my heel to go back to my apartment. As soon as I crawled into bed I sighed happily and draped an arm around Alistair. About twenty minutes later I was just about to fall into a deep sleep when I heard a loud bang on the wall and I sat up quickly snapping my eyes open.

"NO!" I heard Logan scream as though someone was murdering him. I threw the covers off of myself and stomped next door and banged on the door once more. Logan threw it open and he looked like he was about ready to beg.

"YOU ARE NOT GETTING ATTENTION DOWN THERE FOR A WHOLE MONTH MITCHELL!"

"No I'm sorry!" Logan said quickly. "I'm sorry no that was a complete accident James tripped over the rug and hit the wall and it was a complete accident!"

"I don't give a fuck. It woke me up. I'll buy you a flesh light to last you for the month." I muttered before walking back into my apartment.

What? I don't fuck around when it comes to my sleep.

Fuck it now I really can't sleep. Ugh, god damn it. Alright, I'm just going to have to read some fan fiction until I fall asleep. Alright Emy. Elle and PerfectPiranha, kachilee07, Carlos'sCupcake, let's go.

* * *

LOGAN IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING HYPOCRITE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING PLANET YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!

You know, he went all ape shit bananas on me telling me to get a safe car and get extra airbags and all of that bullshit. Do you know what he drives? This mother fucker drives a motorcycle when he's not driving his sports car, I didn't even know he had a motorcycle. You know how I found out? TWITTER! What the fuck is that bullshit? First of all he is rarely ever on Twitter, so one of the rare times he's on of course I find out he's taking a fucking motorcycle ride around, just fucking cruising around on an incredibly unsafe vehicle. It's not like he can crash and fly off of his bike and fucking crack his head on a guard rail. Helmets are not THAT safe LOGAN!

Oh he's so going to hear it from me. Ugh, I'm going to kick his ass the next time I see him. Which by the sounds of that annoying engine sound I hear outside, it's very shortly. I slipped on my shoes and marched outside to wait in front of his apartment door. Of course I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest to look like a bad bitch. Maybe I should have thrown on a leather jacket and combat boots.

Actually… do I have time to go change—?

No. No I do not, with my dirty mind this will just turn into sex if I go and do that.

I saw Logan walk out of the elevator holding his helmet and wearing his black leather jacket. He saw me standing there and froze for a second before turning on his charm and walking towards me with his stupid fucking goofy grin. No, it's not cute when I'm angry god damn it.

"Hey baby—"

"YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE GET INSIDE THAT APARTMENT RIGHT NOW MISTER!" I shouted in the middle of the hallway. Logan nodded and quickly scrambled inside. As soon as we were in I slammed the door behind me and watched as he put the helmet in the closet. "What the hell Logan? You go all anal on me to get the safest car ever and put extra precautions! Then you go off and ride a motorcycle? You didn't even tell me you had a motorcycle! What the hell? That's not right! That's SO much more dangerous! How dare you judge my trusty truck but you're running around on this speed death bike—what happened to you!?" When Logan turned around to take off his jacket I noticed the back was basically torn up and nearly gone.

"I fell off the bike." Logan muttered quietly.

THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T RIDE MOTORCYCLES!

"Maybe you should get rid of it and get an Audi too, those are safer." I muttered watching him. Part of me wants to hug him to death and cradle him and the other part wants to wrap my fingers around his neck. "Are you okay?" I sighed running my hand through my hair.

"Yeah I'm just fine." Logan said as he threw the jacket on the floor in the corner of the room. "I'm glad you care so much."

"Hey I didn't know you fell off of the bike until just now!" I defended quickly while I followed him. When Logan sat down on the sofa he winced when his back rested on the back of the couch. I sighed and grabbed his forearm pulling him forward a bit. So I may be pissed at him for being a hypocrite but he's still my boyfriend and it's my turn to take care of him "Come on…"

"Where are we going?" He questioned as I held his hand and dragged him to his bedroom. "Oh…my back hurts way too much—"

"Wow I'm not going to rape you." I chuckled and shook my head as I kicked off my slippers. "Just take your clothes off so I can put you in something comfortable."

"Are we really not having sex?" He questioned completely surprised as he undid the belt. I rolled my eyes and threw him his pajama pants.

"Yes! Just hurry up, I'll be right back in a second." I quickly ran next door to my bathroom. I grabbed a bottle of aloe gel and ran back next door to tend to my dimple boy. When I walked into the room Logan was peeling off his shirt. "Okay, lie down on your stomach."

"Alright…" Logan grabbed a pillow and put it down in the middle of the bed before throwing his body on top of it. I climbed onto the bed and sat on his lovely round butt as I stared at his back. Luckily that jacket kept his back from getting torn up. He just has a few burns on the back. I poured the gel onto my hands and rubbed them together before pressing them onto the burns. I could hear him suck in the air as the gel made contact. "God that's freezing!"

"I know, it'll soothe the burns." I told him as I rubbed and massaged his back. "Huh…"

"What?" He questioned as he closed his eyes and let me massage his back.

"So this is what it's like to be a guy for doggy style…" I muttered as I kept rubbing his back. Logan let out a loud laugh and reached his arm around to squeeze my thigh.

"_Something_ like that, a lot more effort than you'd' think missy." He chuckled and I just shrugged and leaned down to place a kiss on the back of his neck. "Oh don't even start with that teasing AJ."

"You know? I honestly should. You're already on the shit list not getting a blow job; I should just tease you like you teased me." I told him, but I won't, because I won't be able to hold out and I would just end up fucking him myself. "But I won't, because I'm nice."

"Because you can't control yourself?" Logan questioned.

"Shut up." I laughed and smacked his shoulder playfully. I continued to squeeze and rub his shoulders.

"Hey, so what are you doing for the weekend before we head on tour?" He asked me. Huh….playing guitar, eating… the usual.

"Nothing, why?"

"Kendall and I are going to the music festival in Sacramento, do you want to go?"

"Uhhh…that's the twenty fifth?"

"Yup."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Ex-boyfriend's band is playing there. Kind of want nothing to do with that." I told him with a shrug. Yeah, the ex who I made him think he was buried alive…that one.

"Ohhh…really?" Logan's ears perked up.

"Talk to him and I'll fucking kill you." I muttered in his ear before biting his earlobe.

"Alright, I won't do that then!" He said quickly. "Well Carlos is going to see his family and James is going snowboarding."

"Oh maybe I'll tag along with James!" Once I said that he started laughing hysterically. "The fuck is so funny?"

"You snowboard? Oh please."

"Let's not forget who RAPED YOU on that race track." I reminded him. "Do you want to make another bet?"

"Fine, I'll trust James to give me the details." Logan chuckled. "What's the bet?"

"Uhhhh…" Fuck, what kind of bet is that? "Alright, James will tell you 1-10 how awful I am at snowboarding. Ten being so awful I should kill myself. If it's below five, I win, if it's above five, you win. If I win, you have to…" I chewed on my lip wondering what he had to do. "Shake your ass in James' face for an entire ten minutes."

"That's fucked up. Fine…if I win you have to walk around the bus in a French maid outfit."

"The fuck is it with you and maids dude?"

"I like them leave me alone!"


	30. Slap a Bitch to China

**(Emy. Elle: YEAH GIRL AJ LIKE! Well we'll just have to wait and see how that bet goes.**

**LazyLazyWriter: I'm glad you like that! I figure since I twitter stalk, I might as well put it to use lol.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Oh yeah Logan's lucky she saw that he was hurt or she would have just slapped him in the face and called him every profanity in the book before using him as a foot stool….she's the man in this relationship.**

**Guest: You find it hilarious? WOO HOO THANKS**

**DeniseDEMD: Lol Alex knows how to use what she has!**

**Am4muzik: WOO HOO THEY'RE GOING ON TOUR AGAIN! SHITS GOING TO GO DOWN!)**

_**Thanks for taking the time to read and review! I read each review like 7 times...because it feels so damn good to have one! It really means a lot when you take the time to do that so thanks, and thank you silent readers! If there's anything you guys want to see just let me know, except for smut, I'm not good at that.**_

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Alright, so James and I just got to our hotel room. We took a flight to up to Oregon to go snowboarding, all year-round baby, that's awesome. The two of us are splitting a room since we're really only staying a night and it's pointless for us to get separate rooms, I mean, what a waste of money. As soon as we got into the room I threw my bag on the floor and immediately claimed the bed by the window by jumping on it.

"So Alex, are you excited to break a bone today?" James laughed as he dropped his bag on the other bed.

"If I break a bone you are the most _awful_ teacher in the world! Plus I can't afford to break a bone, I have a bet to win with Logan, if I go home broken then he wins… I really don't want to walk around in a French maid's outfit on the bus, what if I get cold?" All James did was laugh and shake his head in response.

"Yeah well I don't want Logan's ass shaking in my face for ten minutes….so I'll probably lie to him either way."

Aw fuck, I didn't think that through.

"James come on please don't lie to Logan, I kicked his ass once I need to kick it again!"

"Yeah and I don't want his ass in my face." James laughed as he laced up his snow boots.

"…I thought we were friends James…"

"We are Alex…but I don't want pasty white ass in my face." James stood up and laughed before grabbing his hat. "Come on get your boots on I want to hit the slopes."

"Dude we just got here! Can I pee first?"

"…Yeah fine go pee." He muttered shaking his head. Glad I have his permission to urinate! Well after that lovely wiz, I pulled on my boots and laced them up to look similar to how James did it. What? If I mess up how I tie my shoes, I could fly right out of them, off the board, and get buried in the snow, wouldn't that be bad?

Well, I'm sure Logan fan girls wouldn't think of it as a bad thing, but I sure would. I mean…come on; buried in snow would be a terrible way to go!

So James and I left the resort, rented some snowboards, and we are now on a lift. Oh my god. That thing shakes, and I do not want to be on this.

"Nervous Alex?" James chuckled staring at me.

"No fucking shit dude this thing shakes and it's high up! How much snow is on the ground? If I fell, would I go through the snow like…you'd see the outline of my body and they'd find me like ten feet below perfectly fine?"

"No you'd definitely be dead."

"And this is why you're wonderful." I rolled my eyes and elbowed him and James just laughed. "Alright, take a picture with me so I can make James fan girls mad."

"You have a death sentence don't you?"

"I absolutely do." I chuckled and took out my cell phone. The two of us forced our faces together and made equally disgusting, horrible faces to post on Twitter. Oh man, that's…that's not an attractive picture. Anyway, I scrolled through my feed quickly and noticed a picture being sent to me by quite a couple of fans…

Logan wearing an all-white suit and an eye patch.

"James…why the fuck is he wearing an eye patch?" I questioned showing him the picture.

"Oh that!" James saw the picture and started laughing. "Oh man that's right you were at your physical therapy when this happened…ah…you'll see."

"…Is...Is Logan evil now on the show?"

"You'll see Alex." He chuckled again. Wow…it's kind of hot. I mean, well no…get rid of the eye patch. If I get intimate and Logan is wearing an eye patch I really will just cry of laughter and make his penis flaccid in a heartbeat. But uh…aside from that, this all white suit, him sitting there just looking like an evil genius? Dear lord, Logan all…bad is…well. I know what I'm going to do to him, or rather, what he'll do to me once I get home from this trip. "For the love of god if you start reading a dirty fan fiction or fantasizing I'm going to push you into the snow." James threatened. I laughed and quickly put the phone away.

"Sorry, no more dirty thoughts!"

"You're interesting Alex…"

"…Is that an insult?"

"No, just saying." He laughed and shook his head. "Alright get ready we have to jump off, somewhat."

"Fuck that I'm not jumping."

"You'll jump like two inches!" He defended quickly and grabbed my arm, practically yanking me off of the lift, and right there I fell into the snow on my ass. "Wow, this is going to be hilarious."

"You should have seen me trying to learn to skateboard dude that was a nightmare."

"You don't have any coordination, do you?"

"Not particularly." I chuckled and took the lazy way over to where James would be teaching me. I held onto his arm and let him drag me over to a mini hill.

"Okay my little retarded friend, you are going to go down that hill and not fall. It's over similar to surfing, which you…don't know how to do. It's just like skateboarding without moving your legs or wheels."

"…So…you'll pay my medical bill…?"

"Yeah just go." He chuckled and pushed my back and I'll admit I was not terrible at it! I went a full ten feet before I lost my balance and fell. "Holy shit you're not awful."

"I KNOW FUCK YEAH!" I shouted while throwing my fists in the air. "Now how do I get up?"

"Oh hold on I just need to relish the fact that your ass is stuck in snow." James laughed and took out his phone to snap a picture of me. "This is precious."

"You're HILARIOUS! James, FUCKING FUNNY!" I held my arms out and he slid over and pulled me to my feet. We spent just about the whole day on those slopes, even when it started to get dark we stayed an extra half hour before retreating to the resort. Oh man, I was so exhausted it's ridiculous. Anyways, James being the gentleman he is, decided to play me in rock paper scissors to see who showered first.

I cheated and pushed him then ran into the bathroom.

After that nice long hot shower James went into the bathroom and I took this as a nice time to call Logan and see what he was up to. Then again….we spend a lot of time together…

Meh fuck that, I'll see him when I get home.

So while James was showering instead of calling Logan I grabbed the room service menu and started to look through it. _Plus_ the mini fridge is stocked, and they totally have some kick ass snacks in here. So the night life is going to be full of television and snacks. When James came out of the shower I looked over the menu at him. "Dude, burgers and fries, and uh…" I looked back at the menu, "cheesecake?"

"Yeah I can go for that, I haven't eaten all day." James pat his flat belly before going back to drying his hair with the towel. "I want bacon and cheese on mine."

"Me too." I chuckled and grabbed the phone then ordered room service while he jumped on the other bed and started flipping through the channels. About a half hour later the food came and the two of us sat on the floor so we wouldn't get crumbs and crap on our beds.

"So James..." I said after taking a huge bite of the burger. "Do you think Logan and I spend too much time together?"

"Well…" James wiped his mouth with the napkin. "You live next door to each other, you work with each other, and now you're going on tour with each other. Yeah you spend quite a lot of time together."

"Shit..."

"Why do you ask? You finally figured out he's ugly huh?" James chuckled and I laughed loudly and slapped his arm.

"What a dick! No not that it's just….okay last boyfriend I had I was working with and I dated him…pretty similar to Logan except we didn't live next door to each other and well, that didn't end to well. I vowed to bury him six feet under and he vowed to strangle me to death."

"…Wow you have great relationships." James muttered.

"I know! Well you know, what if Logan and I decide we hate each other on tour and I have to bury him six feet under or make him think he's buried alive…?"

"That…scares me Alex." James chuckled a bit. "But I don't see that happening, I really think you're just over thinking it. But hey if you feel that you're spending too much time together, this is a good start to stop doing that. A whole weekend away from Logan and you're stuck with this handsome devil. Isn't that so much better?"

"Oh yah, you're way better than Logan." I laughed before shoving a few French fries down my throat.

"See? I knew you'd say that. Now the rumors will fly that you and I are cheating on Logan."

"…Want to know something funny?" I glanced at James who nodded. "That picture we took on the lift, I captioned it 'cheating on Logan with James!' and uh, people were not happy." I chuckled and James threw his head back laughing.

"You have a death wish!"

"I like messing with people." I shrugged and took a sip of my coke. Oh, yeah, there's a bottle of vodka so we poured some of that in our soda. Now this is the life.

"Honestly Alex when I see a death threat aimed towards you or some girl slaps you and calls you a ho, I WILL laugh before I help you."

"…Dude I'll probably laugh too." I told him, but let's be honest, some girl slaps me I'll fucking slap a bitch to China, I don't care.

"Yeah sure you will." He rolled his eyes and dunked his fries into some ketchup. "You'd murder a girl wouldn't you?"

"Hell yeah!"

Ah James is precious, he knows me so well!

"So…what are you going to tell Logan?" I questioned and James grinned, he took out his phone and called Logan. Aw fuck.

"Hey James what's up?" Logan was on speaker phone with him, hmm…

"Hey, so….I'd give Alex a ten. She was absolutely terrible bro she almost died."

"Ha I knew it! I'll buy her costume tomorrow." Logan laughed.

"YOU LYING MOTHERFUCKER!" I shouted before tackling James.


	31. Just a Filler

**(am4muzik: Glad you enjoyed it! AH yes James is a priceless one huh?**

**PerfectPiranha: Haha yeah I post at …various hours during the day, don't worry about reviewing! **

**Emy . Elle: I love AJ too her attitude is just like 'well, I don't give a damn so…kiss my nutsack' or something like that!**

**Stephanie. E. M: AW thanks! I would follow her on Twitter too she would have SO MUCH DIRT on the guys!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Hurm…I didn't think of it that way, but hey, I think this story can go with a good dose of Drama, I'm sure I'll stir some up for you in the next chapter!**

**Btrfanfiction1516: thanks, yeah I like to make silly chapter titles!**

**Taylor Shine: don't worry about reviewing, as long as you enjoy the story! Thanks yeah it's like…..Seinfeld, but you read it**

**DeniseDEMD: I like her with Logan too, it's just meant to be that way!)**

_**Carlos'sCupcake mentioned left 4 dead, and I remembered how beautiful that game was, so I played a round with my friends and well….wow we are…very jumpy people.**_

_**People to check out because I'm too lazy to write their story titles lmao btrfanfiction1516, kachilee07, Emy. Elle, PerfectPiranha, BeccaRawrsATL, SprinklzAndPixieDust, and if you aren't already reading Carlos'sCupcake IDK what you're doing with your life.**_

* * *

"Absolutely not you can go fuck yourself and shove that right up your pasty little ass because I'm not wearing it. "I huffed sitting down on the couch between Carlos and Kendall. First day on tour and we're on the bus, and of course Logan pulled out the French maid costume. Granted, if we were at home or at a hotel and there was some kind of sexy role-play that included the costume, I'd probably wear it. "I won that bet fair and fucking square, your ass should be in James' face right now." I growled glaring up at him.

"Well you know AJ, James said you did horribly and we did trust him to be the one that settles this bet so…" He shook the bag which held the costume. I responded by bitch slapping the bag down the aisle.

"Nope." Get the fuck out, I know I won that bet. Logan's on some really good acid if he thinks I'm going to put that fucking costume on even though I won, absolutely not.

"Well this is lovely." Kendall remarked sarcastically.

"Nothing like a little love dispute." Carlos nodded.

"James fucking tell him I won that bet or I will punch you in the dick—again."

What? He lied so I punched him!

"Hey I already said it; Logan's ass will not be shaking in my face for ten minutes. That's not happening." He told me as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well I'm not putting on that costume, because I know I won fair and square." I retorted while glaring at James. The two of us just glared at each other, until I heard Logan start to open the package for the costume. "Really, Logan?"

"…Yes…" He muttered quietly. I stood up and moved past him.

"If you try to get me to wear that one more time I'm going to pull a Taylor Swift on you. I will dump you and tell the world…I don't know, that you have a beauty mark on your—"

"OKAAAAAY NO MORE COSTUME! GOT IT!" Logan yelled throwing the costume on the floor. "Look at that see? No more costume all of our problems are solved!" He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair. I glanced around and all of the guys had incredibly amused looks on their faces.

"Where uh….where do you have that beauty mark Logan?" Kendall smirked tilting his head up at him.

"Oh it's on his—"Logan covered my mouth while smiling like he was holding back the urge to murder me.

"Oh I...have one on my foot! Yeah right on my ankle."

"No you don't." Carlos shook his head with a smirk.

"Yeah I do."

"Yeah? So let's see it." James challenged. Logan stared between them and me.

"You can't see it it's uh…really light." He nodded lying. Can he just take his hand off of my mouth already?

"So if it's only on your ankle then why won't you let Alex talk?" Carlos questioned, leaning on his elbow. Oh thank you Carlos you beautiful little tan man you! Logan looked down at me, then at his hand covering my mouth.

"….Uhhh….no reason…?" Logan lied. I rolled my eyes and bit his hand and he immediately pulled it away." OW!"

"Logan has a beauty mark right at the base of his penis!" I grinned and stared at Logan who was red and looked like he wanted to murder me. "It's cute! I don't know why he finds it embarrassing."

"Yeah Logan, obviously that means you have a beautiful penis, what's so shameful about a beauty mark on your dick?" James tilted his head to the side and stared at Logan.

"That was the gayest thing you have ever said to me James." Logan said with the shake of his head.

"It's also on his right nut—"

"WOW! How about you go back to the Xbox and paly some video games huh? I think that's a great idea!" Logan grabbed me by my shoulders and turned me around before pushing me to the very back of the bus.

"I'm embarrassing aren't I?" I laughed staring up at Logan.

"That doesn't even begin to describe it." He chuckled and walked away from me to go hang out with the boys. Well that's fine because you know what? I need some me time as well! I'm trying not to spend every waking moment next to Logan, I don't want him to get sick and tired of me and well, now I distracted him enough so I don't have to wear that costume! Granted he won't be shaking his ass in James' face and I can't film it to upload to Twitter, _but_ I'm okay with that, for now.

I'll get those fuckers eventually.

Anyways, Kendall brought the Xbox and I did him the lovely favor of buying left 4 dead one and two so we could play on the bus. I closed the curtains, sat on the couch and started to game. This is already going to be a bad idea I can feel it, when I used to play back home I would throw the controller or kick someone out of fear, but that can't possibly happen here because I'm not near anyone to kick…I'll be okay.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD COACH YOU DUMB SHIT DON'T HEAL ME HEAL YOUR FUCKING SELF I HAVE 80 HEALTH YOU HAVE 40 DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID—OH WELL THANKS FOR HEALING ME YOU DUMB SHIT NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DIE AND I WON'T HAVE BAIT FOR WHEN THE FUCKING HORDE COMES YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!"

What?

Alright so I can get a little angry when I'm playing the game. Just a little bit though.

"THE WITCH!? ELLIS YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT YOU STARTLED THE WITCH ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID!? YES YOU ARE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT!"

Okay well maybe I get extremely pissed but it's not my fault! Sheesh.

Anyways I continued to play the game by myself until a charger came out of nowhere and threw me into a wall. It scared the shit out of me and I ended up throwing the controller on the floor so I paused the game and stepped out to the front to get some snacks, but the boys were in the middle of conversation so….I decided to hide behind the door and listen in on them.

"So my little brother calls me and you know how in your senior year you take health class?" James said allowed to the guys who all mumbled in agreement. "Except you Kendall, you were home schooled so you have no education."

"FUCK YOU JAMES!" Kendall shouted but you could tell he found it funny. I myself had to hold back a laugh.

"You know it's true that's why you're laughing. Anyway, he calls me and he goes 'Dude do you know what my teacher said?' So I asked and he says 'my teacher said the guy's g spot is in your ass, is that true?' Well duh the teacher isn't going to lie to you."

"A really screwed up teacher would…" Carlos chuckled, "But continue."

That's true, if I was a teacher and I wanted to mess with my students I would tell them really outrageous things to screw with them.

"So he goes 'is it gay if I shove my finger to try it?' HOW DO I ANSWER THAT?! All I did was told him 'don't ever mention this again' and then I hung up the phone."

"Is it gay to shove your finger up your own ass?" Kendall questioned. "I mean, it's pretty much just masturbating."

"It's still weird though dude, it's a finger up your ass." Logan added. Well yeah no shit it's a finger up your ass Logan. "Would you ever let a girl shove her finger up your ass?"

"No, would you?" Carlos said with a hysterical laugh.

EW

EW NO

NO!

EW!

NO! NO LOGAN! NO!

"OH GOD NO!" Logan shouted, "No, I don't care if that's the male g-spot there will be nothing going in my ass."

Well, not completely. I mean if he pisses me off my foot is going up his ass, hopefully that won't make him have an orgasm though that will just be incredibly freaky and…weird.

"I still can't believe he asked me that though." James said, haha, that's awesome. "You know before that he asked me for tips on positions? It's nice that he trusts me enough to ask about this sort of thing but it's still really weird."

Yeah if my brother asked me for sexual advice I'd walk out the room. Not walking down that awkward alley.

"I still go by saying doggy is the best." Kendall replied. Kendall, you dog!

HA! PUN! PUN INTENDED!

"You know? I honestly like putting the girl's legs over my shoulders." Carlos said, "You can go so deep."

Oh my god…hearing this side to them is so rich I never get to hear their guy talk!

"Oh I like that one a lot, you know what else? Sometimes I like letting the girl just do everything for once, reverse cowgirl is great for me." James added with a chuckle. Funny, none of them are actually getting any ass at the moment…well except for—"Logan is afraid to answer because Alex is down the hall and he knows she'll slap the shit out of him for saying what they do."

"That's not true!" I heard Logan say quickly. "Pft, we get it on all the time and I can say whatever I want about it."

"Alright well let's be somewhat censored about it she's like the little…fucked up sister I never had." James said, AW JAMES HOW SWEET!

"Okay well she starts off by—"

"What do I start by doing Logan?" I poked my head out from behind the door and watched as Logan jumped in his seat and stared at me in pure terror while the other three laughed. "How do I start?"

"….Uhhhh….well?"

"Just well?"

"No!"

"Then what?" I love it, I'm so screwing with his head he doesn't know what to say.

"Uh…..you start off with uh…" I stared him down and he shook his head. "Alright fuck it; we start with AJ deep throating me."

Uh….I … I didn't quite think he would actually say this uh… I don't know what to say….He….he called my bluff I didn't think he would actually speak about it. Logan then turned to me and smirked.

OH MY GOD HE'S TAKING THE PANTS AWAY FROM ME IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.


	32. Bitch Nuggets

**(Emy. Elle: Ohhh you kissed my Logan how um, nice. Lol, yeah he's finally growing some balls! HE GETS TO WEAR THE PANTS NOW!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: D'aw shucks stahp it, you're sweet! Oh yeah I couldn't help myself with the guy talk lmao. **

**Shy: Alex…is definitely quite special lol. Sorry for making it such a sexual awkward chapter!**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: sorry for the long wait! Here's that update!**

**Am4muzik: Yeah we gotta love our boys because they're so fucked up and strange! **

**DeniseDEMD: Woo hoo you enjoyed the guy talk! I'm so super glad!**

**Taylor Shine: you find it funny? FANTASTIC then I'm doing my job!)**

**You know….I MIGHT start a Kendall story after I finish one of my other ones, MAYBE….**

* * *

**LOGAN'S POV**

Okay, so let's be honest, when Kendall and I went to the music festival, I was a good little boy and I didn't try to look for her ex-boyfriend at all. I just know that the band Seven Stars was there and she happened to be dating the lead singer/ guitarist. By the way, that name is fucking stupid. Honestly it is that's not just the current boyfriend in me talking.

_But_, we're playing at a music festival today and we'll be here for about three days. Alex doesn't exactly know it yet because we haven't told her the lineup, but his band happens to be one of our opening acts. She doesn't know it yet so I'm' just….going to do a little spying right now. I pulled out my laptop and typed in 'Gabe seven Stars Alex Jones' into Google search. Of course the first thing that popped up was the video of her pranking him as revenge for forgetting their one year anniversary. Thankfully I've already seen that incredibly disturbing and unsettling prank so I don't need to see it again.

Then next thing though was pretty interesting.

_Alex Jones and Gabe Evans split! Domestic Violence Problem?_

Okay, now I KNOW if it actually was a domestic violence problem Alex would be the one bringing on the violence. I'm a thousand percent sure she wouldn't let a skinny anorexic little pussy like this guy hit her or anything.

What? He's so skinny that if I punched him he'd snap in half, and no I'm not being smug. Well, maybe I am. Anyways, I clicked on the link to read the story, just to see what this was all about.

_Alex Jones and Gave Evans split over irreconcilable differences, possibly a domestic violence issue? Sources close to the couple explain their fights have become volatile both on the tour bus and even backstage. Sources say the two have gone as far as to threaten to end each other's lives._

….Uh…holy shit?

Alright I'm just not going to take that to heart. I know Alex isn't serious with her threats. Well, she's not serious about some of the threats. If she threatens to not give you a blow job for an entire month, she…she actually means she won't touch your dick with her mouth for an entire month, I learned that the hard way.

"Logan!" I heard AJ yelling from the bunk area so I quickly slammed the laptop shut. I turned my head slightly and watched as she left the bunks and walked over to me. "Hey they busted out the mini ATV's, are you going to come out and ride one or what?" She leaned against the wall and ran her fingers through my hair as she waited for my response.

"In a few minutes I'm just going to reply to an email from my sisters." I told her and she just grinned.

"Ah the two devils, alright have fun, I hope they manage to snatch your soul through the computer screen!" She kissed my cheek and ran off the bus.

Precious isn't she?

I opened the laptop once again and went back to reading a few articles about the two. I managed to stumble across an interview in a magazine with Alex.

_Interviewer: Can you explain to us the truth behind your break up with Gabe?_

_Alex: We weren't happy so we separated._

_Interviewer: Okay…there's discussion that there was violence between the two of you, is that true? Did he lay his hands on you?_

_Alex: *laughter* Oh please, sure we've threatened each other in the heat of an argument but everyone does that. Gabe wouldn't dream of laying his hands on me, he knows better than that. Anyone that lays their hands on me isn't going to be able to procreate I can tell you that much. You're all making it out to be more dramatic than it really was. We were unhappy, we fought too much, we couldn't fix it so we split, please stop insinuating that we beat the ever living *censored* out of each other._

"Ha they censored her." I found myself laughing out loud, oh yeah that definitely sounds like my girlfriend. Okay….I'm satisfied with what I've found, no reason for me to be jealous or worried or—

"_MOTHER FUCKER!_" I could hear AJ screaming outside, and no not screaming from riding the mini ATV, believe me. She was doing that the entire time I was reading and by the sound of it, she managed to ride into a mud puddle and get Carlos coated in mud, he sounds pissed, oh well.

"_YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING SHITTING ME! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"_

Aw shit. I closed all of the windows and shut my laptop down. I quickly ran off the bus and I saw Alex climbing off of her ATV and walking over to Gabe who was sitting on the bike. As soon as she stood up I noticed James get up from the bike, then Kendall and Carlos were getting up too. Well fuck, I hope this doesn't escalate to anything bad.

* * *

**ALEX'S POV**

MOTHER FUCKING BITCH NUGGETS!

Of course Gabe that skinny anorexic looking little prick is here. Why would I be able to ride my little awesome bike and get mud on the guys in peace? Huh? Of course he's here at this music festival how fucking lucky am I? I've done pretty god damn well in ignoring him and not acknowledging his existence but now he just has to waltz on over here, dumb piece of shit.

"Wow nice to see you too Alex." He chuckled and let his bike fall to the ground before walking towards me. "You didn't know I'm playing at the festival?"

"No." I gritted out while glaring up at him. Quite frankly asshole, if I knew you were playing at this festival I would have plotted another prank to make you think you were dead. "No I didn't know you came here to tell me that?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." He shrugged and shoved his boney, unsatisfying hands into his back pockets.

"She's doing _great_ actually, aren't you babe?" Logan stood beside me and put his arm around my waist, then pulled me close into him. Oh boy am I glad to see this jealous and sexy bastard.

"Babe huh? That's right I forgot you were dating a pop star now….your standards have changed haven't they?" he smirked a little bit then stared Logan up and down.

"They say you learn from your mistakes." Logan answered quickly. Oh well this is new, I don't even have to say anything now, if I was with Gabe and shit like this went down I always had to think of an answer. Oh I'm enjoying this.

"Yeah I've heard that, I wonder who she'll date after you." Gabe responded with a smug grin. Logan's mouth opened slightly and he immediately took his arm away from me and stepped forward.

"So is there any reason why you're here?" James' voice came out of nowhere and when I looked back at Logan, Jams was standing slightly in front of him and pushing him to take a step back. I glance to my right and Kendall and Carlos were standing beside me. Sweet Jesus they're a boy band, and a gang if shit is about to go down. That's freaky but awesome.

"Oh I just wanted to let my old girlfriend know that she was stuck with me for three whole days." He smiled 'sweetly' at me. "We're your opening act you know, so you'll have to tolerate me. Do you think you can keep yourself under control Alex?" He challenged. Oh does he WANT me to hit him? Because I will. Maybe I'll hit him in the throat with a shovel or run him over with the bike. Yeah…run him over and drag his body through the mud.

"I'm sure we can manage to not kill you as long as you don't come over here with that stupid smug grin of yours." Logan answered, oh god his voice sounds deeper. Is it weird that I'm a little turned on by this?

Sigh, yeah, it is, I'll just answer that for myself it is definitely weird.

"Uh huh….I'd like to see that." He chuckled and looked me up and down. "You're looking good, Alex, I'll see you later." He winked at me and walked away.

"I don't know who to be more concerned over, Logan or Alex…" Kendall muttered as he stared between the two of us. Neither one of us answered, we just watched Gabe strut away. Logan turned to me and shook his head.

"THAT!? That's the guy you dated? What a dick!"

"I was young and stupid and had a thing for that whole 'I don't care about you, but I do, but I act like I don't' thing…" I defended quietly.

"…what? That's a thing?" Carlos threw his head back laughing and I elbowed him in the gut.

"That's called the jerk off that secretly has a good heart, syndrome." James answered and rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised he had the balls to walk over here."

"By himself!" I added. "I'm surprised too."

"Well I don't like him." Logan turned his head and continued to glare at him. "I really don't so he better behave, and you." Logan settled his gaze on me. "No killing anyone got it? If he says something stupid we'll handle it, not you."

Well this is new!

"Uh, Logan I'm a big girl I'm pretty sure I can deal with it."

"Well I don't really care; I don't like him so if he does or says anything I'll be GLAD to take care of it." Logan shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. "Stupid looking man-woman." He muttered under his breath. Oh god, he's so mad too, it's so hard not to laugh at what he just said! Thank god Carlos started to laugh, because as soon as he did we all started laughing. "What is so funny!?" He huffed.

"Nothing, nothing at all." I chuckled and kissed his chin. "Come on, let's go ride the ATV's okay?"

"Yeah. Stick around a real man." He muttered putting his arm around my shoulders and guiding me to the bike I was originally on. Oh my, anger brings out his testosterone, alright, I can dig it!


	33. Sundae Shoes

**(SHY: IT IS! All protective and what not…*dreamy sigh***

**Guest: My apologies, I'll be more thoughtful about my word choice.**

**Btrfanfiction1516: LMAO I'm so sorry for you and your new mac! I hope you got the mountain dew out alright!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Depending on how they look when they're mad I tend to laugh too….unless they're in this unbridled rage mode, then I just sit there quietly lmao. **

**Emy. Elle: just for that I'll have to kiss James, how does that sound? :P LOL Good definition of ATV, but yes angry Logan is incredibly sexy and delicious.)**

* * *

After that lovely little episode, we all went back to riding around on the ATV and Carlos was still kind of pissed that I coated him in mud. Well no not kind of, he was actually really pissed off at me and said he was going to get me back. Of course me being the cocky bastard that I am replied with a 'bring it on bitch'. SO naturally I was expecting him to throw me in mud or run me over and drag my body through the festival, but he actually didn't do that. So I took a shower on the bus and fell asleep on the couch.

I woke up and checked my twitter and was surprised to see a YouTube video from Carlos' fucking twitter feed.

"AJ thinks she's so funny" was the title, well fuck.

"_Hey guys it's Carlos! As you can see we were having a bit of fun on our ATV's and someone found it funny to coat me in mud!_" Then he moved the camera up and down to show his mud soaked self, haha god I got him good… _"So you know who else is also a heavy sleeper just like Logan? This one!_" Carlos then aimed the camera at me. Oh my god that's what I look like in my sleep? Holy fuck I look dead, why do guys like to watch women sleep if they look dead! Edward Cullen you creepy fuck! "_Check this out._" I watched as Carlos started to poke my eyes to test whether or not I was asleep, and I was definitely out. Aw fuck I don't even remember this happening!

Well….yeah because I was asleep, damn it.

Then he giggled and flicked my forehead. "_Oh crap wait is she alive?_" Then he checked my pulse, chuckled to himself for thinking I was dead and sat beside me. "_Hey Alex, are you stupid?"_

"_Uh huh…"_ Wow, I agreed and rolled over on my side.

"_Oh she is out like a light. Alright let's get the show started."_ Carlos set the camera down so it was facing me. I then watched as he went through my makeup kit and painted a mustache on me, you know one of those curly 'evil' mustaches. Then he painted a uni-brow, then just played connect the dots on my cheek. This little son of a bitch…. I sat up and put my feet on the ground as I kept on watching the video on my phone. I cringed feeling something squish and ooze out of my shoes and I didn't even want to check. I just kept watching the video and watched as he took off my shoes, filled them with peanut butter, marshmallow fluff, and chocolate syrup then put them back on my feet. I listened as Carlos giggled hysterically and turned to the camera to give it thumbs up. "_Next time don't coat me in mud!"_ He grinned and cut off the video. I looked down at shoes and saw that they were completely ruined.

Oh yeah you know that's fine, it's not like I only brought one pair of converse for the show.

I DID BRING ONLY ONE PAIR THE REST ARE FLATS AND FLIP FLOPS AND ONE PAIR OF HEELS MOTHER DAMN IT BITCH NUGGETS.

"Oh he is going to get it; he is so going to get it." I started to take off the shoes just as the door opened, and inside came four tired and laughing boys. They took one look at me and Kendall had to hide his face because he was laughing so hard he couldn't control himself. Carlos was holding his stomach, James was just staring and laughing and Logan had to wipe a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye. "YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT CARLOS!" I threatened. I only managed to take off the shoe slightly because well….it was kind of stuck to my foot. But I jumped up to run after him and the first step I took my feet just flew out from under me and I hit the floor.

"OH SHIT THIS IS THE BEST!" Kendall squealed in laughter.

Alright, I am thoroughly embarrassed.

So I just let myself lay on the floor in embarrassment and shame until they stopped laughing, and they did not stop laughing holy crap. IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY!

Alright well maybe it is, but I won't give them that satisfaction.

So I was just lying there realizing that there were a few skittles under the table and then I felt arms lift me up. Logan of course the perfect gentleman helped me up and sat me down on the sofa.

"That was great..." Logan laughed and sat on the floor to untie my shoes. "Oh my god Carlos good job."

"Why thank you, I'm quite good at attacking in your sleep, I'm like Freddy Krueger." Carlos chuckled and sat beside me then stuck out his hand. "Even now Alex?"

NO WE ARE NOT FUCKING EVEN!

"Sure Carlos." I smiled at him and shook his hand. We are evil for now until I think of something to get him back with, then it will be an all-out war.

"Oh man nothing is going to save those shoes—Kendall are you alive?" James laughed and turned to Kendall who sat down on the counter trying to catch his breath.

"That was just too good!" He laughed and held his hand over his chest. "Damn…do we still have peanut butter?"

"Yeah I didn't use all of it." Carlos laughed and watched as we took off my shoes. "Oh god that is so disgusting."

"Pft you're the one that did it!" I yelled at him and pouted. "Man I JUST took a shower too this sucks!"

"Well next time you won't mess with me." Carlos grinned and stood up. "Come on guys let's go to the meet and greet."

"Have fun." I muttered as I stuck paper towels to the bottom of my feet so when I walk to the bathroom I won't get…gunk everywhere.

"You too." Logan chuckled and kissed me before walking off the bus. As soon as they were out I heard them break out into another hysterical fit of laughter. Whatever I'll get them back eventually.

So I cleaned my feet and made sure it was completely free of any sandwich or sundae toppings and then I washed my face. I pulled on a pair of flip flops and decided to go down to the meet and greet to watch them possibly get molested by fan girls or crazy moms, because that would be awesome.

Oh god imagine a mom just tackling James to the floor?

Hm, maybe I can make that happen….

Anyway, I started weaving through the crowds of teenagers and felt two hands grab my shoulders and immediately steer me away from the direction I was headed. I turned my head and noticed Gabe standing behind me and shoving me away from the crowd.

"Let go before I falcon punch you in the dick." I threatened but all he did was laugh.

"I just want to talk to you, no need for violence."

"Actually—"

"Alex Jones stop acting like such a man and let me speak to you." He growled and dragged me behind one of the merchandise tents for some other band. OH god, if we kill each other here I hope I don't have to pay for getting blood on their stuff.

"And what do you want to talk about Gabe? We already spoke, and it's a damn good idea for you to stay away from me for the next three days got it?" All he did was roll his eyes.

"What are you doing with boy band over there? You suddenly have a thing for pretty boys with tight pants that sing and dance? "He questioned. Oh god what an idiot.

"You want to talk about tight pants?" I raised an eyebrow and pointed downward to his incredibly tight skinny jeans. "You know what I'm doing with boy band over there? Enjoying myself and having a great time, he's hot and sweet and pretty damn perfect. Are we done now? Because I'd really like to go to my **perfect** boyfriend and spend some time with him and away from you."

"Come on, we both know this is just an act," He chuckled and shook his head, "You wanted my attention and you've got it, I know you miss me, now you can stop fooling around with him."

Oh is he high? Or did someone just take a sledge hammer and whack him on the side of the head with it?

"Wanted your attention? Oh god Gabe you are so full of it! I'm not dating him to get your attention or anything; I'm dating him for myself because I want to! Get over yourself dude you're nothing special!" I tried to move past him but he just stepped in front of me. Okay, patience is wearing incredibly thin right now.

"Alex come on I get it, you miss me! It's fine to miss me but you don't have to go to such extreme measures! I'm here now, it's alright." He smirked at me and reached his hand out to stroke my cheek. I grabbed his hand and bent it all the way back. He screamed and fell to his knees and let go of him and took a step back.

"Dude really…grow up because this?" I gestured between the two of us. "Isn't going to happen again, that was the biggest mistake of my life and I don't plan on repeating it." I stepped around him and started to walk away and then I heard him call after me.

"So did you keep the ring?" He questioned. I turned around at him and he was smirking on the ground. Granted he was in pain, he was still smirking like hell.

"Nope, pawned it and bought myself a guitar." I told him before turning away and walking back to the guys.

"Does Logan know!?"

"…YUP!" I lied.

Okay so maybe I didn't explain that I was engaged for like a week…but it doesn't count because it was only a week, we really didn't tell anyone and at the end of the week I dumped him and pawned the ring, because technically it was mine so um….is it wrong for me not to tell him? Fuck.

* * *

**As you can tell I got a little bored and needed to stir up some drama…I think I'm on a drama kick.**


	34. Shit On My Nuggets

**(paumichyy: engaged! I know, girlfriend kept a secret!**

**SHY: I'll side with temporary insanity as well, what a mistake that was! **

**Emy. Elle: Psh fine keep your baby I don't want him anyway lmao. But yeah she should tell him but you and I both know how Logan is…**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Lmao of course, we all know Logan is a little bitty drama queen!**

**LazyLazyWriter: Woo-hoo glad you love it!**

**Am4muzik: Thank you! Oh you'll see how Logan finds out…**

**DeniseDEMD: Lmao don't like the name Gabe? Ah man, that's unfortunate for this poor bastard then!**

**GUEST: That is absolutely a devious plan and I am MOST DEFINITELY going to include that! I LOVE IT!)**

* * *

Okay now I'm stuck on the whole engagement thing and I'm not quite in the mood to join the guys yet. So I went back to the bus, I grabbed Alistair and a tennis ball and now we're going to just forget about Gabe for a little while and just bite down on balls. Well, Alistair is going to be doing the biting, and it'll only be one ball, unless he decides to go crazy on himself later on. Well the two of us were playing around, just me and my adorable baby boy but holy shit on my balls I fear that Gabe somehow got close enough to Logan, told him what was going on, and now Logan will come and curb stomp my face or I don't know….something! So after a while of playing with Alistair I took him back inside, fed him, and got my guitar to go to the set so we could get ready to play. As I got there and started to hook up my guitar, I saw Gabe approach Logan.

Okay, so far I'm okay, looks like Logan's going to punch Gabe in the throat but I'm fine by that that will work perfectly well on my ovaries. Oh okay, Logan's actually listening to him.

Logan just furrowed his eyebrows together and tilted his head to the side. They now just both glanced at me and Gabe just grinned, patted Logan on the back, and ran away.

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD THAT SON OF A BITCH TOLD HIM

FUCK! Do I have time to grab Alistair and get a flight out to Mexico—No god damn it Alex don't be a pussy. You pussied out on kissing him once before, do not pussy out on telling him you were once engaged.

Wow there is nothing that will save me from this. The way Logan is walking towards me makes me want to get on that flight to Mexico. As soon as he stepped in front of me he opened his mouth to speak but he was grabbed by one of the tech guys here and forced towards the stage. "WE ARE TALKING LATER!" He shouted at me as he was dragged on stage while getting his microphone pack hooked up.

Oh fuck my nuggets I'm screwed.

I went on stage with the guys so we could perform and well, wow, Logan won't even glance at me. Usually he'd shoot me a wink and that cocky, yet super adorable grin of his, but he just straight up looks like he wants to kill me. I'm debating whether or not it's in poor taste to run away as soon as this set is over, or if I should wait for him. The scared shitless part of me says to run like a little bitch and hit myself to fake cry in order to make him feel bad, but the other half is telling me to stop being a pussy and just wait.

So after our set that had so much tension that it managed to freak _me_ out, I handed the tech guys my guitar and stuff and walked off the back of the stage where I waited patiently. I was rocking back and forth on my heels and wondering what direction to run in just in case he kills me when I felt Logan's hand on my back start to push me.

Well, that was quick.

"Hiiiiii Logie Bear so great to see you! Wow you look so good when you come off of that stage, sweating and glistening, check your arms baby they're so thick I love it." I started to grab and fondle his arms.

What? Desperate times call for desperate measures, such as giving him a shit ton of compliments to distract him and lessen his desire to kill me.

"Compliments aren't going to distract me Alex." He muttered as he pushed me away from the back of the stage to an empty tent.

Oh shit, he used my full name and knows I was planning to use the compliments as a distraction. Well, if I die at least James and Kendall can fight over my dog, one way or another he'll be in safe hands.

"Wow it was really hot on that stage I think I need to shower; actually I'm feeling a little bit light headed." I fanned myself hoping if I pretend that I could faint and die that he'll ease up on me. Nope, he just looks like he wants to back hand me to Siberia.

"You were engaged? To _Gabe?_ How the fuck do we go dating for so long and you don't mention that you were ever engaged? We make a year together in like a month; how the fuck do you not mention to me that you were once GOING TO GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE AND SPEND A LIFETIME OF COMMITMENT WITH EACH OTHER! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT MENTION THAT!?" Logan shouted the veins in his neck popping out and his skin was turning red. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. "Were you just like 'oh, meh, fuck it, Logan will never find out!' So you don't say anything?" He had one hand practically clawing his hip and the other was on the back of his neck, he looks like he can strangle himself that way.

Uh, well actually…

"Actually yeah I never thought I would run into this situation with you!"

"Is that why you told me to stay away from him when Kendall and I went to that music festival? You didn't want me to find out about your dirty little secret?" He spat glaring down at me.

Hey, hey, whoa, whoa, hey! Dirty Little Secret? Isn't that a bit much?

"Well… It's not like you ever asked me if I was engaged so….—"Alright I can already tell that was a bad way to start my argument.

"I NEVER ASKED IF YOU WERE ENGAGED? OH YES ON THE FIRST FUCKING DATE OVER STEAK AND MASHED POTATOES HOW ABOUT I JUST FUCKING ASK 'OH HEY ALEX WERE YOU EVER ENGAGED AND PLANNING ON MARRYING SOMEONE?! YEAH? OH ALRIGHT IM GLAD WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY!'" Logan shouted and shook his head, pacing back and forth in the tent.

"Whoa alright Logan you're taking this way out of proportion it's really not that big of a deal!"

"NOT A BIG DEAL YOU WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE!" Logan screamed in my face. Oh okay, yeah no you can yell at me from a distance that's fine, but don't get in my fucking face. THAT pisses me off. So of course I shoved Logan back by his shoulders and followed up by getting in _his_ face. Don't piss me off; two people can play that fucking game.

"IF YOU'D LET ME EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU THEN YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL!" I shoved him again and he stumbled backwards. He absolutely looks like he's about to explode but he stayed quiet and just glared down at me. Good, shut the fuck up now so I can speak. "Gabe and I were already in a hard spot, he proposed thinking that it was what I wanted, and honestly I thought it was what I wanted too. For some stupid reason I thought we would just work through our problems and be okay but no, things just went spiraling down so quickly that week is just a blur of rage. So the two of us broke up and I pawned the ring off and bought a guitar. I didn't even announce it. So are you still mad Logan?"

"Yeah I'm still mad that should be something you share!" He defended while running a hand through his sweat soaked hair.

"Okay well if you're going to be sour about this then so am I. Technically, it was none of your business to begin with. It was my business alone, well, along with Gabe too but he's a piece of shit that can shove a spiked dildo up his ass. This doesn't concern you, it's my past, it lasted a week, and I PAWNED it for a guitar so get off my back. Oh and the next time you get in my face like that I'm going to do a lot more than shove you Logan Mitchell." I turned on my heel and exited the tent quickly. Yeah I was scared of facing him but him getting in my face just pissed me off, so that went right out the window and the urge to strangle him just overtook any fear of Logan exploding and smacking me to another continent.

I left him at the tent and started weaving my way through people with my head down. Quite frankly I don't want anyone to bother me right now. But I know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to murder the shit out of Gabe.

Literally though, when you die your bowels just….shoot chocolate.

I walked through the crowds and got to the area with the tour busses. I know which one belongs to the band; they always put an obnoxious hot pink star on the side of the fucking bus. When I got there I banged on the door repeatedly until it was finally pushed open. Gabe stood there with a smug smirk on his face and crossed his arms over his chest. Stupid shirtless bastard, I hope he gets stung by mosquitos right on his nips.

"Well, well, well, just couldn't get enough of me now could you?" He let his head rest against the door frame looking down at me.

"I'm going to kill you, you ….gossiping little bastard!" I yelled pointing up at him.

"Well you should come inside to do that then." He laughed and grabbed both of my forearms and yanked me inside before shutting the door behind us.

* * *

**Hurm, now what should happen on that bus?**


	35. Someone Will Die

**(LazyLazyWriter: Oh after this Logan will have plenty reason to beat him.**

**SHY: Hitting Gabe with a spiked metal pipe sounds like a fabulous idea!**

**DeniseDEMD: Nothing wrong with loving an angry Logan, it's quite hot! Lmao well your feeling will be uh, verified here.**

**Am4muzik: LMAO you're absolutely right Logan beating him to hell would definitely be hotness.**

**Stephanie E. M. : Lmao ew indeed, Gabe's a dirty bastard.**

**Guest: oh god, lmao I think that might kill him! Well…I mean maybe just singe his butt hair or something…**

**Emy. Elle: Well you know what happens here because you helped me out, but uh, well you can't blame Alex, she was angry and went to murder him! She didn't think, just attacked.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: I think she wanted more than to just punch him in the junk lol; she wants his blood in a bowl. And ah, yeah Logan REALLY made it a huge deal, he's so overdramatic.**

**Taylor Shine: Oh I agree a very bloody terrible murder.**

**SprinklzAndPixieDust: Those would be some omega unholy farts if that happened! ROFL but I bet Alex wouldn't definitely shove a mic up there.**

**BTR-maslow-luv97: Wow less than a week? I'M SO FLATTERED! Alex needs to backhand Gabe into another country.)**

_**Thanks Emy. Elle for the devious set up! Check out her stories, they're fantastically delicious.**_

_**Also, check out PerfectPiranha's new story Beautiful, based on Katie and her POV, it's extremely good I really recommend it.**_

* * *

Gabe yanked me into the tour bus and pulled the door to a close behind me. As soon as I got up those three steps I shoved him back by his shoulders, oh he is so going to get it from me. Not sexual fun times get it either, like 'I'm going to fucking murder your existence' type of getting it.

"You son of a bitch! You need to leave me alone and stay out of my life do you understand that? You're not a part of it anymore!" I slapped him so hard across the face his head whipped to the side. Ugh, I'm going to be a smug bastard after that slap, so glad to bitch slap him. "What don't you understand about us being over with huh? Stop trying to come in between us! I will get my guitar and beat you over the head with it, leave us alone!" I screamed at him and lunged forward, slapping him in the face and even kicking his knee cap. "LEAVE. ME. ALONE!"

"Now, now Alex you and I both know it was always meant to be us." Gabe managed to grab a hold of my wrists and he held them tightly in his hands. "Come on, clearly it's meant to be us. We fight a lot but we work well together, you know that." He reasoned with that dirty smug grin on his face. Ugh, nope, not happening, I like my sexy pop star boyfriend.

"Not happening, I love Logan and I don't need you, now let me go!" I tugged on my wrists but he just wouldn't budge.

"Alex don't you think you use the word love rather loosely? You _loved_ me, now you _love_ Logan? Come on, it's you and me princess."

"NO IT'S NOT! NOW LET ME GO!" I tugged again and again.

"FINE!" Clearly he was pissed off now. He let go of my wrists as I was pulling back and I just stumbled backwards. I think my head smacked into one of the top cabinets, I don't know but as soon as my head hit something Gabe just turned into three people and my vision clouded over. I'm ninety nine percent sure I fell over and hit my face on the ground after that.

* * *

**GABE'S POV**

Alex hit the ground right in front of me, and there she was my very unconscious ex-girlfriend. Well, I can have a bit of fun with this now can't I? None of the other guys are on the bus, just me and her for now. I picked up Alex and carried her over to the very back of the bus where we have a huge sofa wrapping around the back, and the pieces that are attached to the walls are a chaise. I laid Alex down and took out her phone and took Logan's number from it to put into my phone. What? She thinks she can come up here and slap me and not expect anything just as bad to happen to her?

I pulled off her V-neck and yanked down her shorts. Ah, typical Alex, black and red striped boy shorts and a teal and brown bra. She never quite knew the point of underwear sets. They're supposed to match, but anyway…

I'm going to have some fun with this.

I set Alex's body up so she was sitting and I hooked her arms under her knees and spread her legs apart so she'd pretty much give a full show of everything. Picture number one, done.

Next I put her on her knees with her face against the sofa. I pulled my pants down and positioned myself behind her, pressing myself against her newly toned and wonderful ass. I gotta say, she does look a hell of a lot better. I put my phone up high and took a picture of the two of us. When I looked at it, looks just like I'm humping her from behind, wonderful. That will be photo number two.

Now this one will be perfect, they say third time is the charm, right? I think number three will enrage him. I pulled my pants back up and went to my luggage and grabbed a few of my skinny ties. I tied one around her eyes, then another on her wrists behind her back. Hmmm, you know what? Fuck it, she never let me do this to her when we were dating so I'll just do it now. I grabbed her ankles and tied her ankles to her wrists. Yup, she wants to come in here and slap me around? Well you're going to get hog tied bitch.

I snapped a picture of her like that, from a few different angles, and even one of me letting my hand squeeze her firm round ass.

Huh, I'm kind of glad she visited now.

I untied her and undid everything. When I removed the tie from her head I saw blood on the back of my tie.

Oh fuck that's not good.

I quickly dressed Alex and carried her out of the bus when I was positive no one was looking or nearby. Luckily this festival is out in a park and heavily wooded area, so I carried her over to some bushes, dumped her there and ran back onto my bus. Now just to send these to Logan and…..done.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

I had just gotten onto the bus and decided to talk to Alex. Maybe I did overreact a bit. Yeah I'm angry that she hid it from me but she has a point, it was only a week and it was before she met me so I can't really be mad. Well I got onto our bus and she wasn't there at all. Knowing her she probably went to goof around with James or to one of the food tents to see what she could get. I washed my face and sat down on the sofa, letting the air conditioning cool me when I felt my phone vibrate.

Unknown number, hm, alright…

Alright, three more messages, I don't know who this is but—what?

**Girl has a lot to show doesn't she? **Was written underneath the first picture.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

**I bet she'd like it in the ass, maybe I'll give it a test run** was written on the second picture, and you know whose face it was?

Fucking Gabe. That dirty son of a bitch. WHAT THE FUCK IS ALEX DOING WITH HIM!?

**Alex is a kinky bitch isn't she? Look at her, tied up, submitting herself to me. She was mad you two got into an argument over our engagement so she came right over. I guess she really does miss me**.

I was looking at the last few pictures of her, and I think a vein had burst in my neck. How could she do that? How could she let him take these pictures of her and send them to me?! I know she's a devious bitch and knows how to get her revenge but I didn't expect her to do that to me! UGH GOD DAMN IT!

I sat there shaking and fighting the urge to grab a guitar and murder him. I don't usually go and threaten to kill someone and get into fights, I really don't do that but this guy is getting on my last fucking nerve.

"Guys? Anyone in here?" A few minutes later I heard Alex call out after hearing the tour bus door open. I stood up and walked out to the front to see her looking so confused and dazed. Please, don't try to get one over on me woman.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!?" I shouted at her and threw the phone at her. Okay I kind of can't control myself right now. "HOW DARE YOU?!"

"The fuck are you screaming at me for?!" She shouted then winced and took the phone. I watched as her jaw dropped and she looked at all of the pictures.

"THOSE! What the hell Alex we have one argument and you go running back to him?! How could you do that to me huh!? How could you do that to us!? Why the fuck would you hurt me that way it was one argument and I was going to apologize to you! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! MAYBE YOU BELONG WITH HIM AFTERALL!" I shouted while looking down at her. Her jaw just opened and closed a few times like if she was in shock and her cheeks were turning red. The hell is going on here.

"Logan! Logan please you have to believe me this is definitely NOT the way it looks!" She begged and stepped forward, grabbing my arms but I pushed her away.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME ALEX!"

"Logan please!" She screamed at me. "LISTEN TO ME THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE! Please! I went to tell Gabe to leave me alone I went up to their tour bus and started yelling and hitting him. He grabbed me and wouldn't let go but I kept pulling away and when he let go I fell backwards and hit my head and blacked out! Logan I'm not lying you have to believe me!"

Why the fuck would I believe that? That sounds like some shit from a bad movie or some fan fiction stuff that she reads.

"Why the hell would I believe that? Stop fucking making up stories."

"I'M NOT! Look!" She turned around and put my hand on the back of her head. I felt a spot that was raised and felt like it was cut open. I moved her hair away and saw the dried blood caked onto her scalp and I felt a whole new rage boil up inside of me. "I'm telling the truth!"

"That son of a bitch…." I moved Alex out of the way and started to storm for the door.

"Dude what are you doing? Logan just get back here!"

"I'm going to fucking kill him." I growled and threw the doors open to the bus. I don't even know what bus he's on but I will fucking bang on every door until I find that little prick.

"Logan just come back for a minute!" Alex yelled after me. I kept on walking, and I don't know how I looked but it must have been scary because James just stepped right out of my way staring completely confused. "JAMES STOP HIM!" Alex yelled again, and then I felt James grabbing my arms and yanking me back.

"Dude what the hell is going on?"

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL GABE THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON!"


	36. Ha, Moron

_**Wow, there are a lot of reviews and I am a lazy piece of shit who needs to get started on a one-shot for someone….so I'm not going to answer all of them individually, but I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you liked this one! I was honestly surprised at all of the reviews, but it makes my heart swell and I appreciate it so much!**_

* * *

I glanced to my left and saw Kendall and Carlos approaching the tour bus, watching James holding Logan back. Kendall cracked a smile and started to giggle, while Carlos stared at me wondering what the hell was going on. Oh god, of course Kendall would start to giggle at this. Well to be fair, I mean…when Logan's mad it can go one of two ways. It can either be kind of hot because you know he's not _really_ mad, and he's only doing that to joke around.

Or…

He's fucking fuming and it's the funniest thing ever because he turns red, and well when Logan is genuinely angry he just starts yelling and…flailing and oh god if I don't stop I might start giggling too. I mean, sure there is a medium between him being not really mad, and him being absolutely fuming, but god, when he's fuming it is way too funny. Eh, I guess I can't blame Kendall for giggling.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY KNIGHT?!" Logan shouted when James finally let go of him, allowing Logan to turn around.

"You, tomato boy." Kendall chuckled and Logan just growled and stomped inside of the bus. He grabbed me by my elbows and turned me around so he could look at the back of my head once more, the entire time mumbling something which I for the life of me could not figure out.

"Alright what is going on that Logan looks like he's picking through your hair like a monkey?" Carlos questioned, climbing up into the bus followed by Kendall, then James who shut the door behind him.

"Yeah what's up with the rampage?" James asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. Logan took out his phone and tossed it to Carlos.

NO

NO GOD DAMN IT DON'T PASS HIM THE PHONE THAT HAS PICTURES OF ME TIED UP IN MY UNDERWEAR THAT'S FUCKING SICK

"WHOA WHAT THE HELL LOGAN!?" Carlos threw the phone up in the air and wiped his hands on his pants like if he was touching something dirty. Hey, what the hell does that mean, I'm disgusting? I'M HOT DAMN IT I AM NOT DISGUSTING TO LOOK AT!

"What? What is it?" Kendall took the phone and looked next, his eyes bulged out of his head and he silently passed it to James.

"Whoa THAT IS MORE THAN I WANTED TO SEE!" He yelled and put the phone on the table.

"FUCK YOU GUYS BEING IN UNDERWEAR IS THE SAME AS BEING IN A BATHING SUIT!" I yelled, pointing at them, well what? I felt like they were calling me ugly. The three of them just stared at me with their mouths hanging open. "….I don't look bad…"

"We didn't say that it's just…uh…"Carlos looked to Kendall and James for help.

"We didn't exactly plan on seeing our best friend's girlfriend, or rather, our weird little sister in her underwear and tied up and her ex-boyfriend dry humping her." James finished with a nod. "Does that about sum it up?"

"Perfectly James." Kendall nodded awkwardly, not looking up at me one bit. Well I guess there's something positive about this; I did kind of traumatize them. Alright, I'm just going to look at this in a positive light. My hot body in a kinky, compromising position traumatized them, alright, I'm fine with this. "So uh, why…did you show us that?"

"Because Gabe took those pictures of her while she was unconscious after cracking her head open." Logan growled and sighed running his hand through his hair. "You need to go and see if one of the EMT tents is still up, they'll fix this." He shook his head and smacked his hand hard against the counter. HOLY FUCK HE'S REALLY PISSED!

Don't laugh, don't giggle…

"How about I take her and you guys…try to uh, calm him down." Carlos suggested and took a hold of my elbow, leading me out of the bus while Kendall and James tried to tend to Logan and his anger. Wow, what a change, usually I'm the angry fucker!

* * *

James and Kendall dragged me out of the bus and started walking away from it, away from all of the busses and tents and towards the wooded area of the location. God, I could wring that guy's neck, or push him into a volcano or—oh god I'm spending way too much time with Alex.

"Alright, take a deep breath." Kendall said as we came across a bunch of fallen trees. I sat down on a log and took in a deep breath. "Good…okay, so what happened, from the very beginning?"

"Alex and I got into a fight because Gabe told me the two of them were engaged and she never told me, so I confronted her about it."

"Holy shit, how long were they engaged for?" James asked.

"A week…" I muttered and James slapped me upside the head. "Hey!"

"A week is nothing dude, if it dies after a week then that proposal totally came out of the dude's ass, but continue." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes, fighting the urge to punch him in the dick.

"I confronted her about it 'cause I was really pissed, and she pretty much put me in place, yelling at me that it was over after a week, she pawned the ring and bought a guitar, she ran off and when I saw her again after I got those pictures she said she confronted Gabe. He grabbed her and when she pulled back he let go, she said she hit her head on the wall and blacked out."

"So her ex-fiancé undressed her, took pictures, and sent it to you!?" Kendall shouted and I nodded. "Oh he's going to get it." Kendall rested his elbows on his knees, letting his hands hang off.

"Logan, **you** need to take care of this." James said, putting his foot down on the log beside me. "First of all, look what happens when she went to settle things; that could have been a lot worse."

"And by the looks of that guy, she's used to being the man in the relationship." Kendall added.

"So you have to step up and get rid of this problem, plus it'll help you get the pants back in your relationship with her." James grinned and slapped my shoulder.

"I do too wear the pants!" I quickly defended.

I wear the pants, right?

"I'm not even good with women and I know she's wearing the pants." Kendall added, him and James bursting into laughter while I sat here, still annoyed. "Anyway, just don't kill him."

"Have a stern talking to, break something, but no murder." James nodded. "Although, I kind of want to go over there and kill him."

"Me too…" Kendall nodded in agreement.

"Okay okay, I think I've got something." I stood up and sighed. "Let's go back to the bus; I want to make sure she's alright before I go deal with this bastard." I started walking over to the bus, and when I got inside Carlos was sitting on the couch playing with his phone. "Where is she?"

"In her bunk. She's fine; it's really not that bad, they cleaned it up for her and gave her some pain killers because uh, she started to whine. Actually she wanted to see if she could get high but they knocked her right out." Carlos chuckled and shook his head. "She's fine dude, she's asleep in her bunk."

"Good….good." I nodded and ran my hand through my hair. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?"

"To kick Gabe's ass." I muttered and jogged out of the bus. I have no idea which one was theirs, but I'm assuming by the hot pink star on the side of the bus that it's the one he is on, I was right because on the side I saw him smoking with two other band members. When I started to approach him his face froze, as though he thought I wasn't going to approach him, ha. "Gabe, how about you and I have a little talk?"

"Uh…well actually right now isn't a great time." He stuttered and took a drag on his cigarette.

"Oh, you're free right now? PERFECT!" I grinned and took a hold of his shoulder, pulling him away from his friends and towards the woods where I had gone just a little while before to relax.

"So uh, you got those pictures huh? Alex was really upset; I guess this means you two are done huh?" He tossed his cigarette to the side and try to play it off as though he wasn't scared. Yeah okay, fat chance fucker.

"Actually I did get those pictures." I patted him on the back extra hard, so he slipped and nearly fell on his face. "Oh no, we're still together. That's what I wanted to talk to you about." I kept walking, behind him now, pushing him along. "Those pictures Gabe? I didn't like them."

"Well I thought they were taken in a very artistic way." He retorted quickly, so I shoved him hard over a log, he landed on his face and turned around staring up at me. "A little violent are we? I expect that from Alex!"

"Yeah well, you did put a gash in her head." I bent down and grabbed a hold of his shirt. "You know, we can definitely press charges on you, have you arrested. Let's see, assault charges, molestation… oh man, there is so much we can do with what you did to her." I threatened, relishing the fact that his eyes got wide and his skin went completely pale. I don't even know if we can charge him with any of that, but hey if it scares him, I'm up for it. "But Alex and I don't like that type of attention."

"So that's it? You're here to tell me you won't do anything?" He snickered. I shook my head at him and brought my fist up, punching him right in the nose. Gabe screamed and howled in pain, raising his fist to hit me back but I grabbed it and twisted it.

"Oh I never said that Gabe, you should just consider yourself lucky. " I threatened and pressed my knee on his stomach. "So you're going to do me a little favor okay? When they ask why your nose is bleeding you're gonna tell them you fell, got it? You don't breathe a word of this. Oh and another thing, you leave Alex the fuck alone." I leaned in close to his face. "You don't talk to her, you don't go up to her, and you don't even look at her, do you got it, Gabe? She's not your girlfriend, not your fiancé, she's mine. And if I have to come back around and set you straight, I will in a heartbeat." I stood up and yanked him up to his feet by his shirt. He looked down and grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, wiping the blood on his nose. "GOT IT?"

"Yeah I got it!" Gabe said quickly. "Shit…what's wrong with you dude!"

"You're lucky that's all I did because honestly I could fucking kill you for what you did to her when she was unconscious." I gritted out. We walked together silently, and I glanced over at him, and I just couldn't help myself, I punched him across the face and watched him fall to the floor.

"Hey!?"

"You touch her again you're fucking dead, got it?" I yelled looking down at him.

"YEAH I GOT IT THE FIRST TIME!" He shouted back.

"Just making sure." I walked with him back out and right up to his bus, where I smirked at his friends and patted his back. "Nice chatting with ya buddy." I patted him on the back and walked towards my bus.

"_Dude what the hell happened to you?"_ One of them asked quickly.

"_Oh uh…Logan and I were checking out this….spot to light off some fireworks and uh, I fell down a hill."_

Ha, moron.


	37. Tickle Chin

**(BravesGirl16: Haha, I'm glad you liked Logan's little beat down for Gabe.**

**Am4muzik: Yes that one-shot just so happened to be yours, and I'm glad you liked it!**

**AddictedToMusic18: I REMEMBER! I'm so using that firecrackers thing by the way, just you wait and see.**

**Emy. Elle: Oh god, I'm sorry you're unhappy with Logan's beat down, but it seems like you'll do a fine job of kicking Gabe's ass lmao.**

**LazyLazyWriter: Oh yeah, Logan took care of business!**

**DeniseDEMD: Yeah Logan's not so bad after all! Glad you liked the chapter!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: I know, Gabe is such a loser moron! And Logan was her Batman, and she got her painkillers, seems like a pretty solid day! )**

* * *

I climbed back onto the tour bus, completely satisfied with my job well done. I nodded to James who was sitting on the couch, and his head instantly tilted to the side and stared at me. "What?" I asked.

"You have blood on your hand…" James muttered, furrowing his eyebrows. I looked down and noticed I did have blood on my knuckles from punching him in the face. "Did you…?"

"I absolutely did." I nodded and leaned against the counter. "Took him out to the woods, told him to leave her alone, and punched him once or twice." I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water to drink.

"Nice job, hopefully he'll learn to stay away. Can't believe you only got in one or two hits though."

"Well you know I can't have people questioning me and risk getting arrested for killing him, but yeah he better stay away." I nodded in agreement and glanced over at the sliding door. Out from the bunk area came Alex who looked like she was actually sleep walking. She grunted at me and I waved at her with my bloody hand, watching as she opened the refrigerator, grabbed a bottle of water and walked right back out. "Wow, she's out of it." I commented.

"Oh yeah, that's the second time she did that, and I don't even think she knows it. She's like in this…crazy inhuman deep sleep…somewhat." James laughed and I shook my head.

"Nice, alright man I'm gonna go get that prick's blood off of me." I chugged my water and waved to James before hopping in the shower. Alright, so I let Gabe get off a little easily, but realistically I can't beat the shit out of him, Nickelodeon would be pissed and well, I don't feel like getting arrested.

On the bright side, her ex-boyfriend is a complete pussy. Another point for me being awesome.

* * *

Okay, so to say that I did not get high from those painkillers and that I'm sad is an understatement. I think after all that bullshit, that at the very least I deserved to get high and act stupid! Pft, stupid pills had to just knock me right out, what a load of crap.

Why do I have two bottles of water in my bunk!?

Alright, well I climbed out of my bunk and went to the front of the bus, huh, I slept all through the day, sweet, I love waking up completely confused and it's a new day. I hopped into the shower, changed into some sweats and slid on my sneakers to leave the bus. Seems like I'm the only one awake right now, so I'm just going to go to the catering tent to get some breakfast.

OF COURSE when I arrive under the huge tent Gabe and the rest of that shitty band is there having breakfast. I glanced over at them, and Gabe took one look at me and ducked his head down quickly. Holy shit there's a cast on his nose and his face is bruised. OH DID I SLEEP WALK AND BEAT HIM UP?

THAT WOULD BE SO COOL!

Oh god, I kind of want to go over there and just start you know, making fun of him but it's way too early in the morning to do that. I filled up a Styrofoam container with TONS of potatoes, eggs, and a crap ton of bacon, and hurried back to the bus, just as I opened the door I realized I'm incredibly selfish for not getting any food for the guys, but eh, that's okay. They all wake up at different times so I really can't be blamed. I flopped down on the couch and started to eat like a fat fuck. About halfway through the door for the bunks opened and Logan walked out, yawning and scratching his stubble.

Well, at least he's not scratching his ass.

"Hey you." Logan grinned, huh, that's an awfully huge grin for so early in the morning. He usually has to have tea or coffee in order to get him to not want to kill the world.

"Morning Logie…." I mumbled and watched him walk into the bathroom. A few minutes he came out stretching and flopped down beside me, grabbing a piece of bacon. "You're cheery."

"Yeah had a good night." He nodded and chewed on the bacon. "How are you feeling?"

"Super disappointed that I didn't get high from the pain killers!" I told him honestly. Yeah, I'm still upset about that. "But…I feel kind of awesome, I went to get breakfast and Gabe and the band was there, and Gabe just sat there, his face is all sorts of fucked up! He didn't say anything to me it was so weird and amazing."

"Ohhh really? Wow, that's great, seems like he'll leave you alone." Logan nodded and reached over to grab another piece of bacon. Ordinarily I would have bitch slapped his hand away, but I noticed that his knuckles on his right hand were a little pink. I grabbed his hand to inspect and saw dried blood in between his fingers.

"Logan Mitchell!"

"What?" He questioned innocently.

"You…went and beat Gabe's face?" I questioned and he shrugged and nodded.

"Well yeah, I saw what he did to you, and he pissed me off. Now he knows that if he comes up to you again he's getting his ass whipped, I told you if he says something to let me take care of it, so I went and took care of it." Logan grabbed the bacon piece he was pining for and chomped down on it like the most casual thing in the world. Well, holy crap. "You're not actually mad are you?"

Mad? Oh god no I'm not mad, turned on that my boyfriend is manly? WELL YES!

"No! I'm not mad at all I…no one's…really taken care of stuff for me before. I usually just do it all for myself." I told him honestly. Logan shook his head and draped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close against his chest and moving the plate of food away from my lap.

"Well, as you can see you've been dating all the wrong men and you obviously just found a very good one." I chuckled and slapped his belly softly and he just chuckled too. "Seriously though, I'm such a good catch."

"Uh huh, thanks mister conceited." I shook my head and sighed, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Thanks for…taking care of things, I appreciate it."

"Well, that's what I'm here for." Logan answered, grabbed my fork, and started to eat my breakfast. Hey wait a fucking second, he sat down here, acted all macho and managed to take my breakfast from me and I didn't even put up a fight.

Oh god.

Oh my god it's happened. This day has happened and I NEVER thought this would ever happen to me in this lifetime. Oh fuck me sideways I can't believe it.

"Oh my god, I just lost the pants in this relationship to you, didn't I?" I gasped and looked up at Logan who was giving me his damn cute crooked grin.

"You absolutely did, welcome to standard relationships where men wear the pants and you sit there and do nothing."

"I DO NOT DO NOTHING!"

"That's true, but yeah, I have the pants now, thanks for giving them up." He laughed and ate _my_ breakfast. I pouted and poked his dimple as he chewed; well if he's going to take my food I'm going to be annoying. So I kept poking his dimple, then I tickled underneath his chin, and then I started to poke his belly button. "OH MY GOD DO YOU WANT YOUR FOOD BACK!?"

"YES I DO!"

"Too bad." He threw his head back laughing. Oh no, this bitch is relishing the fact that he has the pants now. God damn it. I sighed lifted my hand to his chest, slowly running my thumb over his nipple. He groaned and lifted his head staring down at me. "You're incredibly evil, do you know that AJ?"

"Well then I guess you should give me my breakfast." I shrugged and kept rubbing it. He shook his head and I was just about to play dirty and shove my hand down his pants, but he held up a forkful of food for me, which I gladly ate. "Yup that's right, feed me bitch, I wear the pants now." I laughed while chewing my food. Logan gasped and put the container on the side of him so I couldn't reach it. I whined and tried to crawl over him but he grabbed me around the waist and pushed me to the ground. "Hey!"

"You wear the pants now huh?" Logan asked, running his tongue along his bottom lip. "We'll see about that." He smirked and ran his fingers along my sides to tickle me.

NO.

NO I FUCKING HATE BEING TICKLED GOD DAMN IT.

"I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL STOP TICKLING ME! HELP!" I screamed, kicking and flailing around so I could get Logan off of me. He shook his head and sat over my waist pinning my hands down with one of his and tickling my sides. "NO! JAMES! HELP ME!" I screamed in forced laughter, shaking my legs like…hm….what's a good comparison? Like a dancer? Yeah I don't know.

"Yeah….no." James came out to see what all the fuss was, and when he saw me he shook his head and went back to the bunk.

"So who's the boss Alex?" Logan questioned.

"I am!" I yelled and tried squirming away, but Logan's just too damn heavy.

"Is that so? Alright then." He shrugged and continued tickling me.

"Logan stop it please!" I begged, gasping and panting for air. Okay, if it keeps going this way, I'm about to choke to death all because of Logan.

"So then who is the boss Alex, say it!" He sang and looked down at me. I kept my lips shut and he just shrugged and continued to tickle me.

"OKAY OKAY, YOU'RE THE BOSS YOU'RE THE BOSS STOP TICKLING ME PLEASE!" I begged and Logan finally stopped tickling me. He let go of my hands and I gasped for air, lying on the floor of the dirty bus. I looked up at Logan who was laughing and I shook my head. "I hate you."

"I love you too AJ." He laughed and leaned forward to nuzzle my neck with his stubble.

"THAT TICKLES TOO THIS ISN'T FAIR!"


	38. Holy Cuteness and Chocolates

**(Seraphina Cruz: YAY glad you enjoy macho Logan, and the last two chapters, I hope you continue to enjoy the story!**

**Am4muzik: I KNOW LOGAN'S FINALLY A MAN! YAY! Only took him a long ass time lol.**

**AddictedToMusic18: I believe that in the next chapter, I shall be using that amazing prank of yours!**

**Grayhap: Don't worry; I plan on leaving Logan as the masculine one for a bit.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: YAY you found it funny, thanks!**

**Emy. Elle: I'm sure you kicked his ass and did a fine job of it lol. Well if you liked that fuzzy revenge fluff, you'll love this chapter!)**

_**Also, I know with the time frame and all, that technically this can't really be 1 year anniversary for them, but I don't give a fuck, just go with it!**_

* * *

Okay, so I remember going on my first date with Logan and you know, having no idea that it was a date, and you know, flipping out and losing my shit over what to wear in case I sent the wrong message. Well, today makes our one year anniversary, we're on tour, right now we're up in Montana and Logan said we're still going on a date. So once again I don't know what the hell is going on or what to wear! Honestly, I don't know what the fuck we're going to do for a date because we're in another area where the show is playing in like …a state fair sort of area. We're in Great Falls, playing in Expo Park tonight and then tomorrow we're leaving. So that only gives us a few hours either before or after the show to celebrate. Quite frankly, I want to celebrate because I got him the most kick ass gift in the whole fucking world. I mean really, if I had a dick, he would drop down and suck it because my gift is that amazing.

Alright, so for our one year anniversary…okay first off don't judge me. I saw these when I went shopping at an outlet store and I dragged Kendall with me and he was helping me out, trying to control my corny-ness. But yeah I couldn't resist, it's a little red velvet bag that has a bunch of shiny little stones inside that say reasons why I love you. So they're like '…because I do' or '…because of your great smile', you know, corny but cute shit like that. Then we went to the Ray-Ban store and I got him a sexy pair of black aviators…Alright well I might have a bit of a shopping addiction so when we went to some designer store for Kendall to buy himself a new hat, I ended up buying one for Logan too. Then of course, the icing on the cake, we went to a Mrs. Field's store and I bought him this big ass basket that has like a 144 little cookies and 72 brownie bites.

What? Who says I can't buy him a gift that can double into a sort of gift for me?

Actually Kendall and I were really tempted to kind of just hide that in the bus so we would have our own secret stash of sweets and shit, because Carlos and Logan have the biggest fucking sweet teeth in the world, but ya know, it's our one year, so I'll give Logan the basket.

But Kendall and I ended up going back, buying a basket, and hiding it in a secret compartment underneath the couch.

"Baby come on…" I heard Logan standing outside my bunk, and then I heard the curtain get yanked back. Ugh, it's….eleven in the morning; I should be able to sleep till about five. "Come on AJ we've got an anniversary to celebrate, I already showered, your turn."

Hmm, he showered huh? I rolled over and opened my eyes, my lovely Logan stood there in dark blue skinny jeans, his converse, and no shirt on, with his chest slightly damp. Sigh; if it was just the two of us on this bus I think I'd mount him like a lion in heat. Ugh, delicious. "But I don't want to wake up." I whined, alright I know I want to go on this date, but damn it dude I'm tired. I sighed and covered my face with the pillow, and I felt Logan's hands settle on my thighs and slowly make their way down to my knees. Hm, where is this going?

Oh never mind, Logan grabbed my knees and yanked me out of the bunk. That's sweet.

"Go get dressed, something comfortable." He kissed me and patted me on the ass before shoving me towards the bathroom. Ugh. I leaned forward and turned on the water, letting it warm up before I even bother to step inside. The water that shot out of the shower head was bright red, and of course I started to scream like a little bitch. Eventually the water stopped being red and went back to its usual clear state. Holding my chest, I stepped out of the bathroom and looked over to the front of the bus where all four boys were seated and laughing.

"You mother fuckers, what the hell just happened?!"

"Kool aid in the shower head." Kendall smirked, clearly proud of himself for his prank.

"Yeah well good fucking job, I didn't step in the shower so I didn't turn red but you better watch yourself Knight, I'm gonna get you back. And you too Carlos for ruining my shoes…I'll get all of you back." I warned pointing at each of them. All they did was giggle and not take my threat seriously.

Oh don't worry, I already have a plan for tomorrow when they do a radio interview, I am absolutely going to get them back.

"Baby just go shower so we can go!" Logan chuckled. I rolled my eyes and went back to the bathroom. After showering, I changed into jeans, a pair of flats, and a tank top and cardigan. After I finished getting ready, you know, make up, hair, all that annoying time consuming shit, I grabbed his gift bag, and the huge gift basket. Let's face it, this thing is fucking heavy, and I don't know where we're going so I can't carry it out. I walked over to the front with the huge cookie basket and Logan's eyes lit up. "Oh hell yes that's all mine?"

"Well you can share with me you know."

"I guess…" he sighed and ran over, ripping a hole through the plastic so he could take a handful of cookies. "Thanks baby."

"Mhm, your welcome." I kissed him before taking a few cookies myself and putting the basket on the counter. "Alright boys, mommy and daddy are going to go outside and have a date, possibly have sex."

"Oh my god never speak that way again." James groaned, completely disgusted. Ha, good, I'm glad I disgusted him.

"Okay, well then don't touch the cookies, if you guys eat them I'll murder you all, see you later!" I waved to them and followed Logan out of the bus. We actually did not go very far….we walked in silence down this dirt path and I swear to god I really thought something was going to pop out and murder us, or Logan was mad at me for eating the apple pie his mom sent him, so now he's just going to murder me for revenge. But nope, at the end of the path was a stable, with horses. "Oh my god we're riding horses?"

"Mhm, does that scare you, little lady?" Logan smirked. WHAT AN EVIL LITTLE BASTARD, LETTING HIS LITTLE SOUTHERN ACCENT SLIP OUT. UGH, FUCK YOU I CAN'T POUNCE ON YOU IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.

"I hate when you do that…." I mumbled and looked at all of the pretty horses.

What? They're pretty!

"Oh I know you love it." He chuckled and went to talk to someone, who nodded quickly in response; I guess Logan had planned this ahead of time. The man walked over to the stable and escorted out two horses for us, along with a step ladder, and I'm going to assume that's for my dumb ass to use because I've never ridden a horse before.

SHOULD I EVEN BE RIDING A HORSE IF I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? WHY CAN'T I SHARE WITH LOGAN THAT'S SO MUCH HOTTER.

Oh but then again I'd have a great view from my horse watching him be a cowboy. Oh ovaries, why are you clouding my mind?

Anyways, with a bit of help I climbed up to my horse and watched as Logan had no trouble getting up on his. God, this isn't fair.

"Alright, since you've never ridden a horse, I'll be holding onto this to make sure this girl doesn't run away from me." Logan said as he rode the horse over to mine and grabbed a hold of the reigns. "You just hold tight and enjoy the ride." He winked at me and through his magical cowboy ways, the horses started to move side by side together.

"Huh, not the first time you've told me that." I remarked, making Logan shake his head and laugh.

"You enjoy it every time too." So I got to watch Logan guide our horses like a professional cowboy, yup, not even holding back, this is just fucking delicious. I don't know how long we rode for, but we came across this clearing that looked like it came straight out of a magazine. I mean, it was on a hill, overlooking more hills and they were all….green, and pretty, and the trees provided the perfect shade for the blanket and picnic basket that was already set up.

Oh, very clever Logan, and smart, because I am absolutely starving. Logan climbed off of the horse and tied the reigns for both of our horses on the tree, then held my waist as he helped me off the horse and over to the picnic blanket.

"Well? How was that ride?"

"Great view and this place looks great." I chuckled and leaned over to kiss him before looking at the spread before us. Cute little candles set up that he just finished lighting even though it's daylight, sandwiches, other treats, some champagne, hey; it's an appropriate drinking hour somewhere. "This is so cute Logan!"

"I'm glad you like it, I figured you'd like something that the two of us could just enjoy together, quietly." He leaned over and kissed me, and boy, it took a lot of strength to not fuck him right there. I mean, I totally could, there's no one else here, but I feel really awkward knowing there are two horses right there that can see me getting it on. I don't know, it just freaks me out!

"Oh I love it." I kissed him and the two of us scarfed down the food. Yeah, scarfing food down isn't exactly romantic, but by god you could tell the two of us were starving and could not stand to wait another moment without food. When we were done eating and decided to sip on our drinks a little more, we decided to exchange gifts. I handed Logan the bag, and he reached in, first pulling out the fedora.

"Oh that's awesome." He chuckled and flipped the black hat in the air, catching it perfectly on top of his head. Holy shit that's awesome! He looked in again and his eyes widened as he grabbed the case for the sunglasses and flipped it open. "Oh no way! AJ these are hot." He grinned and put the sunglasses on, boy; those aren't the only things that are hot right now.

"You like them?"

"I love them, they're great! Thank you baby." He kissed me sweetly, and looked in the bag to make sure there was nothing else, and then he found the little bag of stones. His face was completely confused, but he opened the bag and took out the stones, "Um….well I love you because…." I pointed to a rock and he got the idea, and read each and every rock with a huge grin on his face.

"Baby this is so cute and sweet, thank you." He grinned reading the rocks over again.

"Yeah well….I love you and you've done a lot for me over the year, I figured you know you deserve some nice things…"

"You're awful at saying how much you love me." Logan laughed and I rolled my eyes. He pinched my cheek and reached into his pocket, producing a small red velvet box.

NO.

NO!

NO! DO NOT TELL ME HE'S PROPOSING!

NO

NO HE CANNOT BE PROPOSING I DO NOT THINK I AM MATURE ENOUGH OR READY FOR MARRIAGE!

NO DO NOT DO THIS TO ME PLEASE I WILL FLIP MY SHIT-Wait, earrings also come in small packages like that. Huh, maybe I'm just flipping out for nothing. On the other hand, oooohhh, jewelry. Logan held the box out to me and I grabbed it, cautiously flipping it open. My jaw _dropped_ wide open as I saw the ring that was inside. It was….it was stunning to say the least. A beautiful…absolutely beautiful rose gold ring, with a circular chocolate diamond in the center, with rows of vanilla diamond sweeping above and below on the sides. Oh my god, fuck me sideways.

"I know you were looking at that ring when we all went shopping." Logan chuckled nervously and rubbed at the back of his neck. "You uh, you told Kendall that you'd kick a baby for that ring—"

"Oh my god you kicked a baby for this!?"

"No I did not kick a baby you nut job." Logan laughed and took the ring from the box, sliding it on the ring finger of my right hand. Good, not an engagement ring, just an absolutely stunning piece of jewelry.

I AM RUBBING THIS IN EVERYONE'S FACES HOLY SHIT THIS RING IS SEXY!

"God…Logan this ring is absolutely beautiful!" I gushed and admired the way it looked on my hand, have to say, it looks like it belongs there. "Thank you! Oh …god this is way too much but thank you!"

"Nah you deserve it." Logan wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, and I could not stop staring at my ring.

OH god, wait a minute. What is going on here, the backs of my eyes feel weird. Is that…is that tears of happiness forming?

NO, STOP IT TEAR DUCTS!

"You okay?" Logan questioned when we pulled away and I nodded.

"Yeah it's just uh…well the _only_ time I ever got jewelry from a guy was when he proposed to me, and I pawned it a week later." I told him, still staring at this beautiful ring.

"And that's another point as to why I'm the best boyfriend in the world." Logan chuckled and cupped my face to kiss me. "I love you Alex, you deserve that ring."

"I love you too Logan….but now I feel like my gift is absolute shit compared to what you got me!" Yeah, now I feel like a cheap bastard. I mean, well, nothing was cheap that I got him but HOLY FUCK I GOT DIAMONDS.

"Doesn't matter, I love what you got me, it's personal! And I know you were staring at that ring, I just couldn't let you not have it." He moved so he was sitting behind me and pulled me back to sit in between his outstretched legs as he wrapped his arms around me. "So let's just enjoy this, and the way that ring shines in the sunlight, because damn it looks good on you."

"IT DOES DOESN'T IT!? Oh man, I'm so sending a picture to my mom later, she'll be so jealous."

Oh man, fucking swoon.


	39. Revenge Bitches

**(Wordsandwonders: LOL well she knows tears, but tears of happiness are so new and foreign to her it's freaky haha**

**Am4muzik: I know how you feel; I want an amazing boyfriend like that too! I actually want to keep this as a running story lol, because it has no real plot I can just keep going and going until I completely hit a wall!**

**DeniseDEMD: Oh I don't mind the rant; Logie absolutely looks beyond edible with the fedora and glasses. But yay I'm glad you loved the little picnic and how she acts! She's pretty special haha.**

**AddictedtoMusic18: IT'S TOTALLY AN AWESOME RING, I think it's on the Kay Jewelers website; well I think that's where I saw it on lol.**

**Emy. Elle: Sexy Logan cowboy, woo hoo! Yeah AJ's definitely lucky; I wish I could find a guy like that! I'd treat him like a prince if I got diamonds! **

**Carlos'sCupcake: I do that cookie hiding thing! I mean, why not right? You get it for someone else, then for yourself and you hide it so yours lasts longer, it's wonderful. Oh man, I hope you enjoy the prank, I know I did.**

**Stephanie. E. M: It would definitely be a great gift to get!**

**Guest: Awww I'm so happy you love them! I want it to be never-ending, but that can only go on as long as I don't completely lose my train of thought and ideas.**

**SeraphinaCruz: Thanks! Glad you like it!)**

_**Oh man, I got up to chapter 7 for my new story and haven't updated anything else. See? When it comes to superheroes I have a problem…well, I have an addiction. If I could, I would totally throw myself into radioactive waste, design a wicked costume, and run around kicking ass all day.**_

_**OH and this lovely prank would not have happened if it had not been for AddictedToMusic18 telling me about it, oh god, too lovely.**_

* * *

Well, I was definitely opposed to having sex in front of horses. You know, that's just not cool with me, so we didn't have sex. BUT, we did have a pretty hardcore make out session, so I'm really proud of myself for instilling some trauma into the minds of these innocent horses. Then again, I don't know, I feel like these horses have seen some shit… Anyways, we went back to the bus so Logan and the guys could meet up before going to do their little radio interview before they take pictures with the fans. I proudly showed off my brand new ring, by god this thing is like sex on my finger. I mean, technically I _could_ have sex on my finger. Fingering is kind of like sex on the finger? Right? Yeah I think it is, good enough for me.

"Damn." James whistled and took a hold of my hand to stare at the ring. "Logan, why don't you buy me jewelry like this huh?" He questioned with a frown.

"I'm sorry baby I didn't know you were into that!" Logan cooed and sat down beside James to stroke his hair and then pat his back. The two busted out laughing, and I had to bite back the urge to tell them that its moments like this that make their fans write about the two of them having sex…and then me showing it to them to make them feel awkward for the day.

"Damn dude, nice ring." Carlos commented as he took my hand to stare at that. "Rose gold?"

"Yes it is!" I grinned proudly.

"Wow, somebody loves you that's for sure." Kendall commented and winked at Logan before looking at my ring. He slid it off my finger and onto his as far as it could go and placed his hand on his face. He batted his eyelashes and stuck out his butt, doing his best to pose as a girl. "Oh gosh you guys check out my rock!" He said in this obnoxiously high pitched voice, oh god…

"Oh em gee what a totes cute ring!" Carlos gushed with wide eyes. Oh man I should have been recording this.

"That is like so….totes…gorge…" James said, not sure what words he was going to use, and it showed. "Your man loves you SO much."

"Oh boy do I know it!" Kendall leaned in close and batted his eyelashes at Logan's face. "Kiss me you fool!"

"Nope I'm good." Logan laughed and turned his head away from Kendall.

"HE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!" Kendall cried and threw himself on the floor. I laughed hysterically at him and grabbed his hand to take my ring back.

"Okay you idiots, go do your little interview thing and let me enjoy and gloat about my ring!" I said as I slid it on my finger. I shooed them out of the bus and locked the door. Planning time…

So, the boys went to do their thing, and I found this as the absolute perfect opportunity to fuck with their shit. First of all, I contacted the interviewer and told him not stand in front of the backdrop with them, to stand with the camera. As much as I'd love to make some stranger shit himself, I just want the reactions of these four beautiful, but fucked up little bastards.

Anyways, these lovely fuckers just love to play with fireworks. Personally, and this may come as a shock, they freak me the fuck out. I like to watch them, don't get me wrong, but setting them off requires far too much effort and concentration. If I have to light something with a match and there is a high possibility of my thumb being blown off, WELL FUCK THAT. I need my thumbs; I need all of my fingers actually. These boys can sing with headsets if they lose a few digits, I on the other hand am fucked if I lose out on some fingers. Then I'd just have to follow Logan around like a finger-less groupie, and the hand jobs would just be terrible that way.

….Well….I mean…how bad could they be?

Alright never mind that.

Well, since they love these little devils so much, I figured I would use firecrackers against them! Actually, granted I could blow my hand off and I might run away screaming, I assume it will be worth it. Actually, it better be fucking worth it or I'm going to be so god damn pissed I might kick all four of them in the nuts and make it burn. How will it burn? I don't know, but it will happen! Okay, so I grabbed the firecrackers that they had left over from awhile back. Yup, it doesn't need to be a holiday for these idiots to set this shit off. If you're sleeping, they'll set it off. If they're bored, they go off. If they suddenly remember they have them, THEY FUCKING SET THEM OFF IT'S THE MOST ANNOYING GOD DAMN THING IN THE WORLD.

PLUS THEY'VE BEEN PRANKING THE SHIT OUT OF ME AND I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS FUCKING STATEMENT, UGH!

Okay enough of that banter. I grabbed the firecrackers, a lighter, and an aluminum tray, and took off out the bus. Oh yes, I'm so going to enjoy this, PLUS they're going to be recording it? Oh man, my pranking glory will be all over the internet, and these four men will be my bitches. Huh….that gave me a bad thought of putting them on dog leashes. Wow, that escalated in my head REALLY quickly, haha, whoops!

Pretty quickly I found the boys in front of the back drop talking to the interviewer who was standing with the camera. I couldn't help but smile deviously as I walked all the way around to make sure I could sneak up behind them without being seen. I snuck up to the backdrop and quietly put the firecrackers in the tray.

"_So are there any hijinks on tour?" _ The interviewer questioned.

"_Oh man, we mess with Alex so much on this tour."_ James said with a laugh, making the other three chuckle.

"_Wait a minute, she's your girlfriend though isn't she?"_ The interviewer told Logan.

"_She absolutely is, but she can take a good prank which is what I love about her, she's not afraid to play around with the boys. But uh, yeah I can't lie we've been messing with her a lot."_ He laughed and I could just imagine that adorable face he makes when he laughs. His eyes crinkle, that gorgeous smile oh man, he won't be smiling after this prank but I'm okay with that.

"_Do you think she'll get you guys back, like she did to her ex-boyfriend?"_

"_Haha no!"_ Carlos said loudly. _"No she likes us way too much."_

"_Plus she always threatens to prank us, but this year she's been a bit nicer, she hasn't pranked us at all, so we're feeling pretty confident."_ Kendall added, and I bet he was pretending to polish his nails on his shirt. Oh, well feel confident now bitch you're about to shit your pants. I lit the firecrackers and took off running to the side, and they still didn't see me. I stood off to the side to watch, and boy was it worth it.

When the fireworks started to explode, they all sort of jumped and ducked their heads like they were getting shot at. Kendall yelled and ran away from the backdrop. James turned around quickly and started to walk backwards like if a murderer was behind him. Carlos tried to run to his left so quickly that he tripped and ended up diving into the ground. Oh, and my lovely little Logan covered his head and ran forward like if he was a soldier dodging bullets. Oh god the looks on their faces. Kendall's now holding his chest; Carlos is just lying on the floor laughing, and James and Logan both just went to check what was behind the backdrop. When they saw it James threw his head back laughing and Logan laughed before throwing himself on the floor and pretending to faint.

"Dude what was it?" Kendall yelled to James.

"Firecrackers!" James answered with a laugh.

DAMN RIGHT THEY WERE FIRECRACKERS, SUCK ON THAT BITCH.

I ran in front of the camera and gave a huge grin and thumbs up. I turned to the side and noticed the four boys walk over and surround me.

"Okay, you got us." Carlos sadly admitted.

"You got your little revenge…" Logan sighed shaking his head.

"DUDE I HAD A HEART ATTACK!" Kendall yelled at me, which only made me laugh more. I glanced at James who was just staring at me with a grin. Oh no, I do not like that. James bent down and threw me over his shoulder and started _running_ with me.

"JAMES DIAMOND YOU PUT ME DOWN OR I'M GOING TO KICK YOU IN PLACES THAT SHOULD NOT BE KICKED AND CAN STUNT THE GROWTH OF YOUR FUTURE CHILDREN!"I shouted while punching on his back.

"Quick!" James yelled, running past the guys. "Where's the pool!?" He yelled and started running back and forth with me in front of the camera, ugh I feel like I can throw up.

"The mini pool that other band set up?" Carlos questioned.

"YES!" James yelled.

"Oh dude they deflated that." Logan told him. James huffed and set me down on the ground, then ruffled my hair.

"Consider yourself lucky Alex." James warned, "But we vow we are going to get you back, I swear it…"

"Bring it on." I laughed, clearly hiding the fact that I want to throw up everywhere from that dizzying little run he did. I waved at the camera before running out of their shot. Oh man, that was worth it. Their faces, I can't even explain it, they were so terrified! Ah, that'll teach them to fuck with me.

Huh, I just realized that back drop definitely could have caught fire and this could have been really, really bad….

Meh, it all worked out!


	40. Bra Shredding

_**Yeah so I'm feeling lazy and just really wanted to get this out because my spring break is over and tomorrow it's back to classes with professors who don't know anything and require you to spend loads of money on completely useless items *sigh*. So yeah, here you go, hope I'm not losing my touch!**_

_**You guys should totally be proud of me, I got about 300 words in on Sugar Coated, listened to the guys cover I knew you were trouble, took about a two hour break, and said 'eh fuck it Logan gave me the feels'. So yeah, know that I TRIED updating a different story, but we should all blame Logan.**_

* * *

Well, so my mom told me if I don't marry a man that buys me diamonds that I'm a fucking idiot. I then proceeded to ask her if dad bought her diamonds before she got married and she didn't answer me. So I might be a bit in the dog house for that one. Ah well, I'm okay with this because I STILL HAVE A SEXY RING! Anyways I was in the hotel room singing my lovely little heart out. God, I can't help it, Taylor Swift is absolutely contagious. Granted, she is a bit fucked up in singling out the guys she's dated, and I know I've said that before…but hot damn does this chick know how to make money off of misery, with some super catchy tunes.

Well, I was dancing around and singing to I Knew You Were Trouble in the room. Logan went downstairs to get breakfast with the guys, but I really felt like staying in bed an extra few minutes, so I just told him to bring something up for me if there's anything good. I hope it's good too, last hotel we stayed at the eggs were AWFUL, and ugh I was sick the entire day. Then again, so were James and Carlos. God, we were the most volatile people to be around that day… So I was doing that high pitched part screaming 'oh', you know where it gets replaced by screaming goats, when I heard Logan call my name and I completely jumped like a bitch.

"Do you hate me or something?" He joked as he set a muffin and a cup of orange juice down on the coffee table.

"Now why would I hate you?" I questioned as I turned down the music and ran over to get my breakfast. Oh god, chocolate chip, he did well.

"I knew you were trouble? When we first met did you think I was a bad guy, huh?" He teased and sat beside me on the sofa, draping his arm around my shoulders. Uh, well ….yeah.

"Yeah I fucking hated you." I answered bluntly, watching Logan's mouth drop in shock. "Fucking annoying ass next door neighbor that couldn't keep the volume down. I was PISSED I hated you within an hour."

"….You liked me when we were introduced formerly though…right?" He asked, and aww, he looked so cute and unsure.

"Honestly Logie you kept staring at me and it freaked me out." I bit into my muffin and held a piece out for him. He rolled his eyes and took a piece before pulling me over so I was lying across his lap.

"That's okay; I thought you were a sexually frustrated, closed off nut job." He laughed and looked down at me. I shrugged and nodded, well hey, that isn't too far off from the truth!

"I can live with that." I said, smiling when Logan rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss me. Hey, so I may have lost the pants in this relationship but um…I can kind of dig it! It's nice, I thought after a year things would get shitty like it did between Gabe and I, but things have gotten a lot sweeter, and that's perfectly fine with me. "So what are we doing today?"

"Today we have a free day." Logan murmured, running his hand up and down my thigh. Okay, I know what that means. When we have a day off Logan just wants to spend it sleeping together because there are not a lot of…opportunities to do it on the bus. Well actually, there are a TON of opportunities to get it on, but that involves having sex in front of someone and strangely enough I am not okay with that. BUT free day for me means that we should all go shopping again because I need some new clothes and a new pair of converse which I have yet to replace. "So we can—"

"Shopping!" I yelled and leaned up to kiss him, while he just groaned and accepted it. Yeah, Logan and James aren't ones for shopping very much. Kendall and Carlos? Yeah no problem I can drag them around with me and they'll happily accept it. But when it comes to James and Logan the two of them usually sneak off and sit in a furniture store or food court, ah well, can't have it all right?

"We go shopping every time we have a free day! Besides the guys and I want to work on a cover for the next few shows."

"Well I wouldn't need to shop so much if you guys stopped treating my undergarments like they were toys. I hope you know James tried on that bra you like so much, the blue balconette? Yeah he ripped it." Logan gasped and I rolled my eyes at him exaggerating so much. So the guys have been working out a hell of a lot more and Carlos and James just got crazy bigger, but they still look great! So yeah, James still thinks it's cute to put my bras on and sit around casually until I notice, but uh…yeah, he's been breaking all of them and I'm down to two. THAT'S NOT ENOUGH FOR ME!

"That bastard!" Logan shook his head, "I'm okay with you running around not wearing bras though, you know just something to consider." He shrugged and patted my tummy.

"Oh I bet you'd loved that." I draped my arms over his shoulders and leaned up to kiss him. "But moms that go to the shows, actually….my mom too, yeah they would hate that, so up! Take me to the bed so I can stare at clothes to wear!"

"Oh I'll take you to the bed alright." Logan muttered and stood up, carrying me over. Aw this is so cute but I don't feel like doing it right now, I just showered!

"Logan I don't want to I just showered!" I whined as he dropped me on my stomach and started to crawl over me, placing kisses on the back of my neck.

"Yes you do, we'll shower together right after I promise." He murmured before slapping my ass and pulling my pants down.

Well…..if this is my treatment he can just keep the pants in this relationship I am SO fine with this.

* * *

"Here you go!" Once we got done with shopping we walked to the room Logan and I had so I could put my bags down. Actually since James and Logan decided to do a little ditch on us, Kendall and Carlos joined me at Victoria's secret to get a little present. I handed James the small pink bag and he stared at me curiously.

"What uh…..what is this? You're still dating Logan right? I mean, I know you secretly love me and all but-"

"Okay open the bag before I get mad!" Logan said as he elbowed James in the gut. He laughed and stuck his hand in, pulling out a huge bright red lacey bra. "Oh wow, it's just your size!" Logan laughed.

"Red looks great on me too," James chuckled and put the bra against his chest, "Aren't you precious? Thanks Alex."

"Oh no problem, I forgot to get you training bras so of course we had to jump into getting you a nice big ol' slutty push up." I smiled and patted him on the back before kicking my bags in a corner of the room. "Okay so what did you guys want to work on?"

"Well we think our fans would go bat shit crazy if we covered Taylor Swift." Carlos laughed and jumped on the bed, hm, I don't know if he wants to be all over the bed with what we do on it but alright.

"I WOULD GO BAT SHIT CRAZY IF YOU COVER TAYLOR SWIFT!" I yelled which made the guys laugh. "What song are we doing? I'll figure it out right now!"

"One sec!" Kendall got up from the sofa and ran to his room. I anxiously ran under the bed and grabbed my guitar case, ahh Scarlet baby; it's time to make love. Not that way though…I mean make musical love, completely different. A minute later Kendall returned with his guitar and my lovely little Alistair. Yeah the guys _really_ love my dog, so once in a while if we stay in a hotel I let one of them take custody of him for the day. Although I'm really scared I'm going to go get my dog one day and find both of them gone, with a note saying they just loved him too much and couldn't let me keep him. I bent down and hugged my dog, kissing him on the snout and gesturing for him to go harass Logan.

"Go get daddy!" I said, watching him bark and tackle Logan off of the arm rest of the couch and onto the ground. Ah, I love seeing that, it's so funny. "Okay, so we're going to do this, I'm so excited, sit down bitches." I ordered as I sat on the couch. "We need to figure out who sings what! Oh god this is going to be so good."

"Logan!" James whined, "She's doing that thing again where she says oh god too much and it sounds like sex."

"Sorry, we knocked out two rounds before she went shopping, she could still be thinking of it." Logan answered.

"LOGAN MITCHELL!"I yelled glaring down at him. What? I like traumatizing them but we don't need to tell them every time we do it. Ugh, just because he has the pants now he's gotten so ballsy with what he says, pft, little…rascal.


	41. Bathroom Bomb

**(DeniseDEMD: Oh man, I wanted Logan's babies for sure lol, it was top!**

**Emy. Elle: LOL James loves to wear bras! Ah yes, Logan with the pants, it's pretty great!**

**Blair Weir: Glad you enjoy it, I'll be trying to continue this for as long as I can!**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: YAY! I'm happy you thought so!**

**Am4muzik: YEAH! James is so pretty but he hates getting stuff to make him pretty lol. Dude Logan feels are the best!**

**Thesandbar: Thank you!**

**Grayhap: Here's some more!**

**SHY: Did it really? Oh man that's awesome**

**AddictedToMusic18: Thank you!)**

_**I just like to say, that I really appreciate everyone who reads the stories, and everyone who reviews. I really can't explain in words how amazing I feel when I see that you guys think my story is funny, or you find something I wrote hilarious or even some who say I'm an amazing writer. It means the world to me, it really does and I'd like to thank you all so much for that. I really write for you guys to enjoy it, and I hope I don't leave anyone disappointed, so please continue to enjoy!**_

_****B the Dubs, back to school tomorrow, so I'll be updating significantly less!****_

* * *

You know? Taylor Swift always knows how to fuck you over!

So we're of course going to do her lovely Trouble song, but uh, Carlos suggested I should sing just a tiny bit, like the very beginning. Just tiny parts of the verse, the amount of me singing wouldn't even last over a minute. I said no, and then Kendall called me a pussy, James said I wasn't tough at all, and Logan just gave me a pout that said 'please'.

So I said no.

Then Logan said, and I quote "If you sing for this one song I will read whatever fan fiction you tell me to for a week straight".

Now who is dumb enough to avoid that? I will shove so much slash down his throat he will question his sexuality—whoa. Actually maybe I shouldn't do that, that could come back and fuck me over.

"I don't sing well!" I retorted, "That's why I play guitar!"

"Um, ninety nine percent of guitarists have some sort of vocal ability!" Kendall said in a 'duh' tone.

"Yeah! Besides when Kendall first joined us he sang like complete shit, but now look at him!" James grinned and patted Kendall on the back.

"I hate you sometimes." Kendall sighed and shook his head while James laughed and gave him a one-armed hug.

"Oh I know you do."

"Come on just try it, you run around singing that song anyway and it doesn't sound bad!" Logan told me, squeezing my shoulders while I strummed the chords on my guitar. "Give it a try."

"Yeah, I need a guitarist for my new two-man band!" Kendall laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"I thought you were kidding about that?"

"No not really I still want to do it and who better than with Logan's girlfriend?"

"Kendall really just wants you to get into trouble with Rushers on Twitter." Carlos laughed, then his eyes lit up and he took out his phone. AW fuck… "Hey Rushers it's Los again! Quick question, we want to cover a song and we need a female voice for a like a solid minute, so do you think Alex should do it? Write in the comments says or no, five seconds OKAY LOVE YOU BYE!" He ended the video quickly, and I knew he had made a keek. "Well in ten minutes we'll have our answer." He grinned and tossed his phone on the couch.

"You know a bunch of them are going to say 'no that stupid whore can't sing' right?" I raised my eyebrow at them.

"Well I'm sure a bunch of them will say this stupid whore CAN sing!" James grinned and put an arm around my shoulders, oh wow he's so charming. "It'll be fine; I'll help you out with it."

"I don't know." I sighed and went back to my guitar. That deal from Logan is pretty promising….

"Well let's see what the fans say." Logan shrugged.

**Ten Minutes Later (Spongebob Voice, couldn't resist)**

"AHA YOU HAVE TO SING!" Kendall pointed at me and started laughing hysterically. I scrolled the comments in disbelief, a lot of them were saying yes. Granted, it was a yes because they wanted to hear how badly I suck, but they still said yes and that was good enough for the guys.

"I hate the four of you so much sometimes!" I growled and threw my head back on the couch. "Fine let's do it, help me out here James."

"Okay!" James pulled up a chair and sat in front of me. "So, what makes singing really good is putting some emotion into it." He nodded at me and I rolled my eyes. Well, it's probably true I mean, Taylor Swift is okay and she has a lot of hatred in her songs. "So why don't you think of….someone that is kind of….like the song….?" He tilted his head staring at me. Yeah what he said makes no sense, but I think I understand.

Huh, so someone that 'I knew was trouble'. Hmm a guy who didn't care and I totally went for it; put me down…hmm….

OHHHHHHHH I KNOW WHO I CAN TOTALLY HATE WHILE SINGING THIS.

"Five bucks she thinks about Gabe while singing." I heard Carlos say quietly as he munched on some cookies we had bought while shopping. Well shit there goes that surprise.

"Go ahead I bet Gabe is going to hate himself even more after." Logan said smugly, not even looking away from his phone. Well, that would be great if he does. Hehehe…self-hatred—oh my god I have issues.

MAYBE I NEED A TISSUE!

Alright let's stop.

"Okay so, give me your best shot." James nodded.

"Uh...without music?" I frowned and he laughed.

"Yeah, without the music on, just yourself, a capella."

"Ah you know, I have laryngitis I don't think I can, oh man…it hurts…it's…setting it." I stood up from the seat and started to cough while holding my throat. I got about two steps away when Logan grabbed my thigh and James grabbed my elbow, the two of them pulled me back and pushed me onto the sofa. Logan sat with his back against the arm rest and draped his legs over mine to keep me in place.

Well fuck me sideways now I'm stuck.

I opened my mouth to sing but nothing came out, I shook my head and sighed letting my head fall back on the couch.

"Baby you have no problem singing along with the music is on, why is it such a big deal now?" Logan questioned.

"You're all watching me and expecting me to sound half-way decent but there's no music on and I'm getting nervous!" I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest.

"But you sang with me when we did that Forever the Sickest Kids cover!" Kendall argued, shit that's true. "You sounded fine and you didn't put up a fight about it!"

"That's because that was to a camera, not live to fans, and I only sang backup, quietly! That's completely different." I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling.

"AJ you can do it, just try—shit." Logan stopped with his little pep talk and answered his phone." Hey Mom…"

"HEY JOANNA I MISS YOU!" James yelled out. Logan groaned and gave him the middle finger before getting up and walking away.

"….She misses you too and hopes you guys are doing well." Logan muttered before stepping out the room.

"I love his mom." James laughed and shook his head. That's true, he adores her, and he _loves _to mess with Logan by saying he'll be his new dad, I find it so funny, I don't even stop it. "Alright now let's get busy."

* * *

Okay, so it's the following day and we're sitting on stage. The cover is going to be one of the last songs, so I went by the entire set without a microphone in front of me, and now there was a microphone placed in front of me, and I could see the crowd staring confused and murmuring between them. Aw, I never feel nervous on stage this isn't fair. Kendall tapped me on the shoulder and I glanced over at him. All four of them smiled at me with a thumb's up and I just shook my head at them. James got a devious grin on his face and grabbed his microphone.

Oh fuck…

"Hey guys so Alex looks a little nervous today and that sucks so I have a GREAT story to ease the nerves." He grinned, and every single one of us on stage froze wondering what he was going to say. "So we're in the back there, you know they gave us a fruit platter and stuff, well there's ONE bathroom for the five us. So we're all chowing down on some pineapple and grapes and stuff, and Kendall goes to the bathroom." Everyone starts laughing at this while Kendall stays completely still glaring at James like he wants to murder him. "So Kendall goes to the bathroom, comes back fifteen minutes later. Carlos goes in to wash his hands, steps out in three seconds and almost threw up on the floor. Kendall made the bathroom into a stink bomb and we almost died back there." James nodded to the crowd. They were all laughing hysterically, Carlos was bent over laughing, Logan was clapping and Kendall once again was hiding his head in shame, completely turning his body away from the crowd so his back was facing them. "It's okay though, we all make a stink bomb, but Kendall _really_ ruined the bathroom, I mean, you will die walking in there." James chuckled and I had to hold my stomach I was laughing so hard.

James glanced at Kendall while still laughing, and patted his back before hugging him. A minute or two later a very red Kendall turned around and grabbed the microphone. "Okay, very uncool but that's fine, I have something myself." He nodded and cleared his throat before glancing at James. "James likes to walk around the bus wearing bras, we don't know why, it's a serious problem and we're trying to help him."

"Hey, I was just looking for some support." James shrugged casually, not even bothered by Kendall's jab. Kendall sighed in defeat while James smirked deviously. Oh my god, these guys are too much. Kendall glanced at me, raising an eyebrow and I nodded signifying that I was ready.

"Alright guys, so if you know the words sing along." Carlos said before bending down to play the cajon. Logan leaned forward and winked at me. I smiled at him and took a deep breath, leaning into the microphone and strumming the chords.

Well, this should be interesting.


	42. Hit or Miss?

**(LazyLazyWriter: Yay that's music to my ears!**

**Am4muzik: You know me, cliffhangers and I have relations all the time. Oh and dude, saying 'fuck me sideways' is completely addicting, I don't blame you.**

**AddictedToMusic18: Nothing like brotherly love such as embarrassing the hell out of each other!**

**Paumichyy: Yeah he got made fun of, but it was for the expense of making Alex feel less nervous, which is a pretty nice trade off.**

**Grayhap: aw I 'm glad you liked those little bits, ah man, Carlos and his Keeks, always so entertaining, and James was a bit of an ass, but a funny one!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: HOUSE FULL OF SEVEN KIDS?! Good luck young padawan, I don't know how you're still living after that, that sounds completely exhausting.**

**SHY: Aw that would be so cute if she had a great voice and her and Logan began duets!**

**DeniseDEMD: Wouldn't that be absolutely great if that happens? Oh I would die**

**Thesandbar: Aw thank you! Um….I don't know, I watch lots of TV?**

**Emy. Elle: James and his beautiful muscles, they're so distracting they could almost make you forget your name…**

**SeraphinaCruz: Oh I adored their cover, wasn't too fond of VJ though.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: I love me some cliff hangers!**

**Taylor Shine: Don't worry about the reviews, as long as you enjoy the story, and thankfully you are, that's fine by me!**

**kj. rotunno: I hope she sings well too lol, I'm sure she does! I'm glad you liked James' and Kendall's little embarrassing banter.)**

* * *

"Once upon a time, a few mistakes ago,

I was in your sights, you got me alone  
You found me, you found me, you found me-e-e-e-e" I sang and immediately moved away from the microphone, listening as James took over, well thank god for that, those first couple of seconds are nerve wrecking. The crowd actually cheered when I was singing, so that can't mean that I'm complete shit right? I glanced over at Logan who grinned at me and nodded before turning his attention to the audience. Alright then, so far I am not complete shit!

"And he's long gone when he's next to me  
And I realize the blame is on me" that I ended up singing with Kendall, and okay, I'll admit, I got a little more into it than I thought I would. Oh, and I have to say, it was nice singing a little bit with Logan. Singing with your boyfriend? Not as lame as I thought. Besides, I'd be lying if I said he didn't sound absolutely fuck-able when he sang. Dear god, I wanted to set my guitar down, move my chair next to him and just take him on the stage. Well then again I probably wouldn't need the chair.

Well…._maybe_….depends on what we decided to do while mounting one another.

WAIT A MINUTE

This did not last a fucking minute I sang almost the entire song with them. Aw well fuck me sideways now I feel stupid for not realizing this until after the song was over. Oh man, when the song was over, not even joking as soon as we went completely silent I grabbed my mic stand and pushed it away from me, making the guys laugh.

"Wow, you could not wait to get that over with could you?" James questioned and I nodded a lot. "Well ladies and five or six gentlemen here, a round of applause for our guitarist! We begged her so much to sing with us."

"That's true; Logan made a terrible deal with her right?" Carlos grinned and glanced at Logan.

"I uh…." Logan sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I said I'd read whatever fan fiction she gave me for a week straight if she sang with us." The crowd went _wild_ at the thought of Logan reading fan fiction, so I stood up and leaned over to Kendall's microphone.

"So if you guys could tweet me with some links to your profiles, I'd love some _slash_ stuff mostly to make him feel really super awkward with the other guys, so yeah, we'll be reading!" I grinned and went back over to sit on my stool, grinning like a devil as the girls screamed and Logan had that little 'I'm in trouble' nervous smile as he shook his head at James. Oh man he is so fucked…

After the show was over I took Kendall's guitar from him and went over with some of the techs to put our stuff away while the guys went to shoot a video. I was wrapping up a cable when I heard my name being called. So I turned around and glanced over to see the guys, some chick with a camera, and Logan waving me over.

….But I don't usually go to those unless I'm interrupting them with a practical joke or something. I pointed to myself and Logan just made one of his …how do I describe it…I'll call it a psycho face. He made a little psycho face and waved me over, so I put down the cable and walked towards them, and when I get there Logan put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, kissing me on the cheek and squishing me in between him and Kendall.

"Hey Alex, lovely singing up there!" The girl behind the camera said. Oh fuck I should know her name shouldn't I? Oh man what a dick…

"Oh uh thank you!"

"Are you going to further your singing with the guys?"

HAHA NOPE!

"Er…no I didn't plan on it—"

"Well she might because she and I are starting a band." Kendall draped his arm around my shoulder in the opposite direction, so now I have two men strangling me with their arms. Well fuck if I get choked out I mean, at least it's by the arms of two beautiful people. "We'll tour the world together, just me and Logan's girlfriend making music and upsetting Logan—and fan girls." He grinned and held a solid thumb's up to the camera. Oh god…..

Meh, I like that plan, I love to piss people off.

"Is that true?"

"Well we joke around about it but we might actually try it and see what we come up with." I nodded and glanced up at Kendall who nodded and grinned.

"We'll call ourselves Ken and Lex."

"We won't call ourselves that." I laughed.

"We won't call ourselves that." Kendall repeated, shaking his head frantically. I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the camera.

"So was this it for you singing, unless you and Kendall decided to make that band real?" She questioned.

"Yeah I think so—"

"Nah!" Carlos jumped in.

"Haha no, we know she sounds good now so we're going to force her to endure our throat pain." James added.

"That sounded weird." Kendall muttered quietly. YES. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD A DIRTY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT!

…Huh, okay then Kendall.

"As long as I don't have to go through anymore bets then yeah." Logan chuckled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Well the fans really seemed to enjoy your voice, you were a hit! Thanks for joining us; we'll catch up with you on the rest of the tour."

"Thanks!" I smiled and waved and slipped out of the grasp of the two idiots before going over to help put more of our junk away while the boys continued their interview. After everything was put away and the boys were done with their interview, we all went out to dinner at some pretty funky restaurant.

Funky restaurant means my ass is getting a really diabetic and funky shake.

Chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough shake? Hell yes, that so happened.

At the restaurant it was nice, we took some pictures with the fans that stalked us there, Logan told me how I was going to have to deal with his satanic sisters when we go to Florida because his family went on vacation there, and then we had to talk to James and try to devise an escape plan just in case the two little girls kidnap him. Wow, well, maybe I'll just force myself to get the flu or something. I may have passed their test but they are still two little satanic beings.

Ah, for dessert Kendall was not allowed to get the fruit salad, poor thing turned so red when James brought it up again, so they all decided to skip dessert. Well, this did not fly with me, so I ordered a really big slice of white chocolate raspberry cheesecake to go.

"Huh, I bet she's pregnant with all the crap she ate today." James said casually before taking a final sip of his drink. Logan completely spit out all of the beer in his mouth, spraying James and Carlos, with Kendall laughing on the side line because he hadn't gotten hit.

"Relax I'm not pregnant sheesh." I rolled my eyes at Logan's dramatics. "I had my period like…a week ago."

"And now we know about her menstrual cycle." Carlos sighed shaking his head in disgust.

"I had salsa…" Kendall muttered, oh god and he looked like he was going to barf, that's priceless.

"Just throwing it out there." James shrugged and grinned deviously. He's lucky he's amusing as hell. Anyway, I grabbed my cheesecake, we all paid the bill and we happily left to go back to our hotel. This time no one was left behind, but when we were trying to get through the crowd of people to get inside, some girl with freakishly long arms grabbed Kendall's shirt and ripped it, exposing his nipple to the world. Instead of freaking out he let out a girlish shriek and covered it with his two fingers as we ran inside.

I might have peed a little at the sight of that, it was too funny.

When we got up to the room I kicked my flats off and put the cake in the mini-fridge. I popped the button on my jeans, and because I'm too lazy to actually take them off, I just flopped down on the bed. Logan kicked off his sneakers, ran forward and did a front flip onto the bed. I laughed at him and moved over so I could lay my head on his chest while he grabbed the remote for the TV.

"You did really well today AJ." Logan said, bringing his arm around me and stroking my arm. Ah, I can't get over how cuddly we've been lately, I can totally dig it. "I'm proud of you."

"Really?" I looked up at him and poked my finger into his chin. "I didn't sound like a cat dying at the hands of a mouse?"

I swear to god, Logan gave me the most confused look I had ever seen ever before he chuckled and shook his head. "No baby, you sounded beautiful. You kicked lots of ass tonight and I don't know what you were so afraid of." He kissed me on the forehead sweetly. "Hope you're not afraid anymore anyway, we'll be doing that probably the rest of the tour."

"I love that you asked my permission first." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Yeah well, I'm wearing the pants here so I don't have to ask for anything." I sat up slowly and glared at him, while he just grinned like a smug little prince. I went over to my laptop, opened up the fan fiction website, and plopped my fat ass beside him.

"Fine, then you're going to enjoy some slash, and I hope to god ONE of them has you being pregnant, because I will laugh my ass off at you." I said as I reached over to the mini fridge to grab my cake.

"Can't we just read regular smut where I fuck some girl's brain out?" He whined and I shook my head.

"Nope, not at all, come on Logan; let's see if you blow a load into Carlos' mouth again!"


	43. Disney Part 1

_**I'm quite sleepy and I intend on taking a nap, so this might be the only update for today, sorry!**_

* * *

Oh my god, I'm in Disney world. I don't give a shit if this is a vacation for his two satanic sisters to enjoy; I'M IN FUCKING DISNEY WORLD AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A REALLY GOOD FUCKING TIME! I've never heard of this, but we all have rooms at the wilderness lodge. It's all cute and uh…nice like wilderness, this made James suggest we all go out camping.

I told him to go fuck himself.

There is no god damn way I trust staying in a tent with these four assholes. They'll scare the shit out of me in the middle of nowhere I fucking know it. They'd pull some Jason Voorhees shit or something. I don't trust them, not one bit.

BUT! Our room at the Wilderness Lodge is absolutely lovely, with a cute little deck for us to sit out and relax and free soaps and stuff that I will absolutely be stealing. Plus they had a little doggy day care, so Alistair would be on vacation too, my little prince of awesome. When we got into the room and put our bags down, I opened my bag, pulled out a bottle of vodka I had gotten at the airport when we landed, and took a shot. Yeah, I told everyone I was going to the bathroom but I knew I would need this…

"Did you…did you just take a shot before going to meet my family?" Logan questioned and tilted his head to the side.

"I absolutely did."

"And you didn't pour me one." He sighed and walked over to take a shot while I laughed and sat down on the bed. "Man I really hope they don't kidnap us in the theme park, we'll never get found if that happens."

"Yeah you're definitely fucked. I mean, those two might kill me, but uh, they'll kidnap you boys. Play tea party and dress up forever." I nodded and grinned while Logan sighed dramatically and sat beside me on the bed, falling on his back and dragging me with him.

"Would you save me if my sisters kidnapped us?"

"Nah I'd take your car and call it a day." I answered while staring at the ceiling. Logan growled and threw his leg over my waist to trap me before sitting over me and tickling and god damn it I HATE being tickled. I squirmed and started shoving him by his shoulders and wailing like if I was being murdered while Logan laughed like an evil genius. I kept flailing, and eventually Logan stopped tickling me, settling for nuzzling me and placing the sweetest kisses on my neck. Ah, swoon, he's so sweet sometimes, you know after that whole abusive tickle fest." You're so mean!"

"Mean would have been locking you in a room with Kendall after feeding him beans." Logan chuckled and pulled away when we heard a knock at the door. I shook my head and smoothed down my clothes while he opened the door, letting Abby and Annie inside. They ran in like two little hurricanes, and I shit you not Logan looked like he was going to faint.

"What uh…..what uh….what are you two wearing? You guys look different." Logan muttered, so I took this as the time to look over his sisters.

Both now had boobs, wearing short shorts and v-necks. Honestly they looked perfectly age appropriate, they just now had boobs!

"Clothes Logan, duh!" The two girls put their phones down on the bed and ran over to hug the hell out of their big brother, who could not process the fact that they had just hit puberty. Joanna walked in, and I could hear James laughing behind her, oh god this is going to be a fun day. I could hear Bill walking in too, and before I knew it the entire band, plus Logan's family was now inside of our room. Well, great thing we weren't in the middle of some sexy time.

"But uh…mom their pants are too short and this neckline is too low." Logan blurted out, his mom laughed and walked over to give him a big hug and kiss, a pinch of his cheek, and then ruffled his hair.

"Logan they're completely appropriate!"

"Mom! No they're not!"

"HI JAMES!" the two girls ran over and hugged James, but they weren't surprisingly…..creepy.

This kind of concerns me.

The girls hugged and said hello to everyone before running in front of me. Simultaneously they threw their arms around me, and this really had me concerned. I know I had passed their little test and they approved of me, but my god once a satanic little thing, always a satanic little thing.

"Hi Alex!" Annie smiled and pulled away.

"It's been awhile!" Abby remarked.

They're nice, now I really don't fucking trust them.

"Hey guys, long time no see….how have you been?"

"Good!" they nodded simultaneously, and god I can never get used to that. Twins in general freak me the fuck out, and considering these two were little Satans, it doesn't help my distrust of twins at all. Well, after we all said hello to each other, we took off to start the day with a tour of the safari area. Animal boys Kendall and Carlos thought it would be cool to get a backstage look on the safari section. You know, it was three god damn hours. An hour and a half I can take, but three fucking hours.

"I'm going to murder you when you least expect it." I whispered to Kendall and Carlos, who stared at me with wide eyes. That was way too fucking long, and they know it. We could have been on rollercoasters, getting giant Turkey legs, you know, having a good time. I want to go to the Harry Potter world, and drink butter beer and get a wand and shit like a boss, but NO we were stuck there for three hours.

Well after we left that park we all ate lunch, while I sat there impatiently like a little kid tapping my foot.

"Baby don't you want to eat—"

"I WANT TO HAVE BUTTER BEER!" I whined and sipped my water impatiently. My stomach is being saved for butter beer and turkey legs and shepherd's pie, and then for the sweets at Honeyduke's. I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"God, she's worse than these two." James said, gesturing over to Abby and Annie who were pouting while eating their food. Apparently they wanted to go check out the Disney princesses first, but because Logan said he'd rather go on the safari trail, his mom automatically sided with him. Hmph, stupid momma's boy.

"How about we go to the wizarding world next then huh?" Bill suggested, oh my gosh, Bill you're amazing!

"WE WANT TO SEE THE PRINCESSES!" Abby and Annie yelled.

"Well maybe someone else can go with you like your mom—"James began to say, but was soon interrupted.

"Thank for volunteering James." The girls jumped out of their seats and dragged James out of his seat, running out of the restaurant. Oh god, poor James.

"I think I'll go catch up to them so poor James isn't alone." Joanna giggled and stood up and walked over to Logan, wrapping her arms around him tightly and kissing his cheek. "Have fun! Come on Bill." She kissed Logan's cheek again and dragged her husband away, while I glared at Kendall, Carlos, and Logan to hurry up and finish eating so we could leave. When they were finally done I jumped out of my chair and ran out the door. Okay maybe I should have eaten, now I feel nauseous….but I want my damn Potter food!

"Baby slow down!" Logan called after me. I turned around and jumped up and down while I waited for them to catch up. When they finally did we ran and caught a bus going to the other park so we could get to the Harry Potter theme park.

YAY!

"Dude are you okay? You look pale." Carlos frowned while staring at me, and I nodded at him.

"Totally fine!"

I JUST WANT HARRY POTTER WORLD AND BUTTER BEER I'LL BE OKAY ONCE I GET THERE!

When we got there, I just about went completely ape shit in excitement. I totally skipped people who weren't paying attention and got myself a big old cup of butter beer.

"Baby you have a mustache." Logan laughed at me, and yes I did have a lovely foam mustache, so I licked it off, and it was delicious. Then I bought a turkey leg, and I sat on the ground eating my turkey beer and butter leg—I mean my turkey leg and butter beer! Wow, okay my brain is fried, BUT IT IS WORTH IT! "Oh god, are you feeling alright? You look like your mind left you." He put his hand on my forehead and I just nodded along.

"Totally I was just starving and dying to come here but now that I'm here I'm going to finish my food, get a second glass of butter beer, then we will go on the rides!"

"This might be the nicest I've ever seen her." Kendall laughed and took my cup to have a drink.

"Don't get used to it!" I commented, taking my drink back and chugging it. "Once we leave this place I will be back to my mean old elf." I finished the turkey leg and chucked everything into the garbage can. "Oh man that was so good…okay let's go on that…ride thingy."

"Are you sure you should?" Carlos questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah totally let's go!" I ran off to the ride, dragging them behind me.

**Sometime later….**

"You uh….you threw up all over me" Logan muttered after we got off of the ride.

"…I love you…." I mumbled and patted his back. "That counts for something right?

"No."


	44. Disney Part 2

**(LazyLazyWriter: Oh man so attractive right? Just spewing all over him lol.**

**Grayhap: Logan and his little sisters! So precious.**

**Am4muzik: The little demons ADORE James, they might kidnap him and lock him in their room for the rest of their lives! And I feel much better, thank you for asking =)**

**Wordsandwonders: You would think those twin terrors have some evil plan up their sleeves right? Can't trust those twins….**

**DeniseDEMD: Yeaaahh I have no idea how far these parks are lol, I haven't been to Florida since I was…5 so all sense of distance is dead**

**AddicctedToMusic18: Hm…well we'll see if the twins are up to anything special today!**

**Emy. Elle: Oh no don't worry Alex isn't preggers, she just has no self-control when it comes to theme park food!**

**PerfectPiranha: I think if Logan could he would freeze them so they'd stay little forever! I'm jealous of the harry potter world too, I'd love to go and check it out! Couple names huh, I can definitely put that in a chapter, it's not like the story has a huge plot so anything goes!**

**SeraphinaCruz: Ha I'm jealous too; happy you liked the chapter though!)**

* * *

Okay, so maybe Logan was a little mad that I puked all over him….Maybe he also felt a little bad that I threw up all over him, so after we went to one of the souvenir shops and managed to find him a pair of khaki shorts and grey V-neck that had a little black Mickey Mouse on the bottom he got me stuff. Hey at least he still managed to look good after I threw up everywhere! Oh man, the color was NASTY; I almost threw up a second time. I apologized to him a million and one times, but he felt bad for me too, so he took me to Honeyduke's and bought me lots of candy, with the emphasis of eating it _later_ and not now.

"I told you so." Carlos laughed as we started to walk to Ollivander's.

"Fuck you! I didn't want to wait to digest my food!" I whined as I swung my hand along with Logan's back and forth. "I was too caught up in the moment!"

"I bet you weren't thinking that when you projectile vomited all over Logan!" Kendall laughed with him and Carlos nudging each other as they giggled together, ugh, fuckers.

"I will make you shit yourself Kendall Knight, that will be a really nice story to say at the next show, wouldn't it?" I challenged, narrowing my eyes at him. Kendall's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly. "Good, so shut up." I growled and kept on walking with Logan. "Sorry…"

"Let's pretend that never, ever happened." He mumbled as we got into the store. I nodded and ran inside and oh my god it was so fucking great. So we walked in and some stupid little kid got the chance to have the wand choose him, whatever fine you little fuck face. Enjoy it, hmph lucky little bastard. Well turns out you couldn't actually buy any wands there, so we had to go to another store and I swear to you Logan looked like he wanted to shove his fist down my throat and just get out as fast as possible, so I bought Hermione's wand because she's a smart cookie, and Emma Watson is hot.

Well after that we left the Wizarding World and went to the rest of Islands of Adventure to wait for James and the rest of them, to help us along with our wait we went on that Amazing Adventures of Spiderman ride, and it was the shizznit, also I did not throw up this time! Much to the relief of everyone. Well, Logan made me sit in between Kendall and Carlos just in case.

When we got off of the ride a couple of girls recognized us, so they ran over to us for a little photo op and some autographs.

"Hey where's James?" One of them asked.

"Boo!" James yelled from behind the girl. The rest of the gang had showed up when we were signing their stuff, so James of course heard her and decided to scare the shit out of her. She jumped and screamed and looked like she nearly had a heart attack, but James was laughing and smiling and he extended his arms out to her for a hug which OF COURSE she threw herself into. Oh man, James is a dick, but he's funny and…nice after scaring people to death.

"So how was the princess stuff?" Logan looked down at his little sisters, whom he noticed were getting eyed at by a group of young boys. He turned so red in anger, he tucked them both under his arms and turned them away, but I could tell he was worried the boys would stare at their butts, so he just kept moving them around.

"It was great!" Annie grinned and glanced over at James. "We took lots of pictures, and we even got to dress up! I was Cinderella and James was prince charming!" She reached into her little plastic bag and held up a picture for us.

"Yeah! Then I was sleeping beauty….and he was a prince again!" Abby grinned and took out her picture.

"Wow that's awesome!" Logan nodded looking at the pictures.

"Ew that's freaky James looks like a doll." Carlos commented as he glanced at the pictures.

"Hey if things don't work out in the band at least you have a fall back job." Kendall laughed.

"That's so not funny, one of the people working there said that to," James pouted, which just made all of us laugh even harder.

"Then we watched Beauty and the Beast, and we met Ariel after too!" Annie grinned.

"Ariel was _pretty hot_ if I say so myself." James whispered to me, and of course I gave him a high five.

"And what did you to do Ariel?" Joanna questioned, crossing her arms over her chest and staring down at the two little girls. Oh boy, here's the satanic little thing I've been waiting for.

"We might have told her that if she thinks she's taking James away from us we'd beach her on dry land like a whale…" Abby muttered.

AHAH THAT'S SO GREAT.

"And?" Bill pressed, raising his eyebrow. Oh shit there's more?

"We'd cut her body up into pieces and put her in cans of dolphin safe tuna."

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA OH FUCK ME THAT WAS FUNNY.

"They kept straight faces and everything it was creepy." James sighed, and then the two girls glanced at him quickly. "I mean, so heroic…I feel loved."

"Well how about we go on some more rides, how does that sound?" Logan suggested.

"YES!" Annie nodded, "Logan can we go see the Fantasmic show tonight?"

"Sure—"

"CAN WE DINE AT CINDERELLA'S ROYAL TABLE!?" Abby shouted.

"Abby that's too expensive—"Her mom began to say.

"But mom!" Abby pouted.

"Come on guys you already did a lot today." Logan began to say. Then those two…little demons started to pout and they looked like they wanted to cry and I don't know why I felt really bad. I guess it was because I liked them after hearing that threat to Ariel, because shit that was funny…

"I'll take them." I said quietly, and everyone stared at me with a shocked expression. "Your birthdays are in two weeks right? It'll be my treat, my gift to you."

"You don't have to do that." Logan leaned in and whispered to me, but I held my hand up and waved it off.

"Just know that if I don't make it back alive my ghost will fuck you in your sleep before haunting you." I whispered back before turning my attention back to the two little terrors. "How about that? Is that okay?" The two of them instantly had these huge grins on their faces, and I shit you not it looked like the devil was in their eyes and winking at me.

Well fuck me sideways I try to be nice and I see Satan in their eyes.

"That's awesome!" Abby shouted.

"Thank you!" Annie grinned.

"That's really sweet of you AJ." Joanna smiled.

"It's no problem…so princesses need dresses and shoes and tiaras. Do you have all of that?"

"YES! We bought tiaras today, and I have this totally cute pink strapless dress." Abby smiled wide, and Logan's smile fell to the floor.

"Plus I have a really awesome yellow strapless!" Annie added.

"Strapless? Mom, they're too young to wear strapless dresses." Logan began to whine.

"The dresses are long Logan and don't you worry." His mother sighed and hugged her son who was clearly still not processing the fact that his sisters were older and starting to wear different clothes.

"So that's it then, I'll take them out to dinner and we'll meet you guys out so we can watch the awesome show, sounds good?" I asked and everyone nodded. "Great I'll just find the number and make some reservations." I took out my phone and started to search for the number, when I heard the guys behind me talking.

"I bet they poison her food and she doesn't even make it out of the restaurant." Carlos mumbled to James and Kendall.

"I bet that they accidentally stab her with their dinner knives….several times." Kendall joked.

"I bet that they pushed her down the staircase as they're about to be seated." James added.

"Dude I can hear you guys!" I yelled and turned around to face them, and the three of them shrugged and smiled innocently." You guys are terrible, I won't get murdered."

Oh god I hope I don't get murdered.

"Well you already puked today, it's a bad omen that something terrible is about to happen." Carlos reasoned while twisting his hat around.

"Wait a minute she puked? Oh please do tell me the details." James grinned eagerly.

"Oh she spewed like a waterfall of vomit all over Logan!" Kendall said before he started to laugh hysterically.

"SHUT UP KENDALL!" Logan shouted from all the way in the back of the group with his sisters and his parents.

"I was wondering why he had on a completely different outfit." James chuckled and shook his head. "Oh man that's amazing. I can't believe I missed that, it was on a ride?"

"Yeah, god it was so nasty. Butter beer and turkey legs make a disgusting combination." Carlos cringed as he explained it, and I felt my stomach churning at the thought of that vomit. Ugh, it did not taste good coming up…

"Okay, okay so funny ha! Now shut up before I attack you guys when you're the most vulnerable." I muttered before putting the phone to my ear.

"And when's that Alex?" James questioned.

"When you're all in the bathroom. That's usually when people feel safest; I will ruin that—Hi I'd like to make a reservation tonight for three at eight o'clock." I glanced at the boys as I spoke, grinning from ear to ear at how they all looked so startled at the thought of their precious bathroom time being soiled.


	45. Disney Part 3

**(Emy. Elle: Dude James would make a super sexy prince; I'm okay with this too! Oh by the way, I think Alex is going to be the one that's pleasantly surprised here…and that bathroom scenario you just said is so disgusting, I love it lmao.**

**SeraphinaCruz: Oh my brother is STILL overprotective of me that way, it's sweet but gets kind of ridiculous sometimes.**

**Paumichyy: Oh hell no they're way too afraid to drop the pants and let their cheeks hit the seats.**

**AddictedToMusic18: YAY You found it funny! Oh you'll see what the girls do here.**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: Lol imagine Logan is into ghost sex? Strange!)**

* * *

Well, these two children were so excited when as soon as we walked in they saw Cinderella waving to everyone. When I sat down and ordered for all of us, Cinderella swung by and actually had a full blown conversation with the girls, it was so nice I wanted to hug her myself! The girls were telling her how she was so pretty and of course she returned the compliment. Then Cinderella had a conversation with them about what they want to do when they grow up. Annie wants to be a super spy and Abby wants to be Indiana Jones.

…I like these kids so much more every day, and this startles me.

Well….now that I think about it, on a…creepy level, I kind of see myself in these two little terrors. They both plan and follow through with incredibly evil and possibly painful plots against people whenever they please, plus they want kick ass futures, all with a dash of being girly-girls.

Does that mean Logan has a sort of sibling complex?

OH MY GOD I JUST FREAKED MYSELF OUT WITH THAT I'M GOING TO STOP RIGHT NOW DEAR GOD SOMEONE SET MY BRAIN ON FIRE PLEASE!

Well, the girls did their little photo op with Cinderella, then chatted with Jasmine when she came by, who by the way was seriously hot, she made me feel ugly as hell. Then after that we got our main course and we began to eat.

"We're really happy you took us out Alex." Annie began to say. "Thanks so much!"

"Yeah, we wanted to talk to you alone anyways." Abby said and put her fork down, staring at me with a straight face. Oh my god, this is it, this is when I die.

"Oh god you two are going to murder me aren't you? I thought you two approved of me!" I sighed and put my utensils down, and the two girls stared at me before laughing hysterically.

"We do approve of you, we don't want to murder you or chop you up into little bits before digging out a block of sidewalk, throwing your limbs in, and then covering it with cement!" Annie smiled innocently. Oh my god she's so disturbing.

"We like you! Plus we saw on YouTube videos of you pranking the guys, and how you and Logan are together…so we like you." Abby nodded, AW THEY DO LIKE ME! HOW SWEET!

"Oh….okay awesome then, so is everything okay?"

Oh fuck what if they tell me they're pregnant? Oh shit Logan would stab me just for being the one that shares the information with him, and then he'd go and kill every single person in the entire world until not a single soul was left.

"Um, when did you start dating?" Annie asked quietly. Oh….OH FUCK WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME THAT HAS THIS KIND OF TALK WITH THESE CHILDREN!? I'M THE WORST FUCKING PERSON TO HAVE THIS WITH ALL I DO IS READ FAN FICTION AND THINK OF FUCKING THEIR BROTHER UGH GOD DAMN IT.

"In high school, I was about seventeen." I nodded to her, "Why, is there a cute boy you guys are thinking of?" I smiled a bit and leaned on my elbow, staring between the two girls in front of me.

"They are cute but they're so stupid." Abby sighed and shook her head." The guys we know are so dumb, except James, but we'll get him one day."

"But the boys like us and they're always asking us out." Annie sighed.

"So they're cute but you don't like them, is that what I'm hearing?" I asked and the girls nodded. "So don't go out with them!" I shrugged.

"But how do you know if you should?" Abby frowned, "like, when are you old enough?"

Holy shit these girls are making it so easy for me.

"It's hard to explain, but you'll know when you really like someone." I smiled at the two of them. "And you girls are _so_ young, I really think you should wait until you're sixteen or seventeen to start dating. You have all the time in the world to get boyfriends, and you two are so pretty you'll get them in a heartbeat!" The two girls grinned and high fived each other, oh man Logan will so thank me for this. "Besides at this age, the boys are only looking for one thing—"

"To screw us and brag about it?" Annie questioned, wow alright that's one way to put it.

"Pretty much yeah…" I told her.

"Pft, this is why boys are stupid." Abby shook her head. "How did you know you wanted to date Logan?"

I don't know if this is an interrogating question or general curiosity. Ah well, they can't possibly take it back and decide to kill me after all, right?

"Well….I love spending time with your brother. He's so funny and laid back, and we share a similar sense of humor, plus he's really caring. I don't know, your brother kind of just….stole my heart. He asked me out to dinner one day when we were on tour, and we were already seeing each other every day because of it, but I felt like I just couldn't get enough of him. I liked just seeing him smile, hearing him laugh…" I had to pause and make sure I didn't say 'and how god damn sexy he is and the way his muscles flex on his arms'. "I would just look at him and think 'I definitely want him in my life'."

"You fell in love with our brother." Annie finished, and I nodded. "Okay, we're fine with this, we like you more than his last girlfriends."

"They were complete whores." Abby added as she went back to her food. "So nasty, I think one of them had an STD. The one that makes blisters and stuff—"

"Herpes!" Annie finished with a laugh, "Yeah he was in high school! It was gross."

…..BAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh fuck me sideways, I don't think the girl actually had herpes, but shit that was so rich.

"Oh wow, well I'm glad you guys approve of me now." I chuckled and the two girls nodded. We finished up our dinner, and when dessert came out the two girls weren't expecting it at all. One of the wait staff brought out a decent sized cake decorated with soft blue frosting, saying 'Happy Birthday Annie and Abby' on it, with a candle for each of them. Then followed by the waiter were Cinderella and Prince Charming, the prince holding a pillow with two glass slippers on it. He knelt down in front of the girls and they each took the slipper which had their name engraved on it, with the widest grins on their faces.

Yeah, those slippers cost money so if these two little bitches break them I'll fucking break them I don't care if I started to like them.

After taking more pictures with them and hearing them sing happy birthday, the girls sat down and blew out their candles. The three of us destroyed that birthday cake, and after I paid that STUPID GASTRONOMICAL BILL, we grabbed our stuff and left so we could meet up with everyone else to catch the Fantasmic show.

"Thank you so much Alex!" Annie said, giving me a tight hug.

"None of Logie's girlfriends ever did that for us!" Abby added and hugged me as well. Aw shit, I think these two little things just made my heart flutter for being such a nice person.

"No problem guys, happy birthday." I hugged them back and walked to the show. Once we got in I found everyone sitting towards the front with three empty spots between James and Logan. I chuckled and pointed out where they were, and the girls ran forward happily, standing in front of Logan and showing them what they got before forcing James to move over one seat so the girls could sandwich him. When I moved to sit down Logan stood up and kissed me before sitting down with me. "Well that was a nice greeting."

"Well you did a nice thing today." Logan put one arm around my shoulders while his other hand grabbed mine. "You didn't have to do all of that for them AJ."

"Yeah well….it was for their birthday, so why not right?" I shrugged and glanced over at him, and Logan just had this big ol' grin on his face, and quite frankly it's scaring me a little bit.

"Well…thank you." He leaned forward and closed his eyes, capturing my lips in a sweet kiss. "I appreciate it."

"Oh it was my pleasure."

It definitely was my pleasure considering his two little sisters called one of his ex-girlfriends a whore, that was magical. Well we watched the show, me cozied up next to Logan and resting my head on his shoulder, his sisters with their arms wrapped around James' biceps and clinging to him like their lives depended on it. Wow, these girls have the right idea.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

I glanced over to my right at Alex's naked body to make sure she was asleep.

Well, sex in Disney, I'm going to knock that off of my fuck it list.

I pulled on my sweatpants and a hoodie and slowly crept out of bed. I turned around to make sure she hadn't moved, but all she did was roll over to her stomach and shove her hands under the pillow. Quietly I left the room, walking down the hall until I came across the room James, Carlos, and Kendall decided to share. I knocked on the door impatiently a few times, and finally Kendall answered.

"Dude what is it? It's three in the morning." He yawned and opened the door so I could step in. I saw one of the lamps was on and the guys were all sitting up from their beds and rubbing their faces.

"I want to marry Alex." I stated and noticed that when Carlos was trying to get out of bed and he heard this, he tripped and fell right to the floor.

"I'm sorry…what?!" James stood up and walked over. "Really? You're serious? _Logan_ is going to propose?"

"Yeah…I have to find a ring and stuff but yeah…"

"What did it for you?" Carlos called out from the floor.

"She gets along with my sisters and treated them like little princesses today. Not a single girlfriend of mine has ever been so nice to them, or liked by them….so that was kind of just the icing on the cake, I've thought about proposing for a couple of weeks now but you know, now that I know she gets along with my sisters and my parents…I'm really okay with it."

"Well…now all you have to do is buy a ring." Kendall smiled and patted my back. "Happy for you Logan."


	46. Getting Permission

**(whitewolf1992: YAY it makes me so happy that you love the story!**

**AddictedToMusic18: Well hopefully the proposal I plan out doesn't disappoint!**

**LazyLazyWriter: YES HE IS! Finally!**

**Shy: It'll be absolutely adorable when it happens!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Five hours? Aw you poor baby I hope you get some rest and fell awesome!**

**SeraphinaCruz: Whoa that's drastic! Thankfully my brother never had that problem with me, according to my mom I dress like a grandmother…*sigh***

**Am4muzik: I have a LOT of time on my hands too, don't worry!**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: Yeah I agree, it would be a cool experience for him lol.**

**RandomWriter23: YAY! They do make a cute couple; hopefully Alex says yes, she WAS freaking out about a couple of months ago when she thought he was proposing after all.**

**PerfectPiranha: I know it took him forever! Um, I don't remember how old I made them. I think they were like 11-12 when I first introduced them so I'm thinking now they're 12-13….**

**Emy. Elle: YEAAAH LOGAN'S GONNA TIE THE KNOT! WAHOO! But yeah the girls are smart, but they're too little to squish other things. **

**Paumichyy: aw it is very sweet, it's going to be awesome those two together!**

**DeniseDEMD: Oh man that would have been such a cool idea to do…. Damn it I should have planned this out more lol.**

**IHEARTROCK: Yay I'm glad you think they should be together, and that you like the story!)**

* * *

Well, so our last day in Disney was pretty interesting. We woke up, went to breakfast, and decided that since we obliterated the theme parks that we would hang around the hotel. So a bunch of us were at the pool just hanging out. I myself was watching as the guys were just slapping Kendall in the face with water mercilessly. Oh gosh, poor bastard always gets picked on the most; then again it's pretty easy to get him. But he can come up with fucked up pranks if he wants to, I've learned this. He just won't do it, he'll have Carlos do it if it's really bad, so that way I don't try to kill him, smart bastard.

Anyway, Abby and Annie stepped out with their mom, and Logan of course lost his shit. When the girls were walking over you could see they had basic bikini bottoms on and tankinis so they showed a bit of stomach and whatnot, they looked perfectly fine! But Logan got right out of the pool and grabbed his towel then threw it over them.

"Logan!" Annie whined.

"What are you doing?" Abby whined as well, clawing at the towel.

"Nothing! You guys looked cold and I thought you could use some more clothing to keep you warm!" He reasoned, wrapping them up in his towel while his mom sighed and shook her head helplessly. I sighed and got up from my chair, walking over and yanking the towel away from them. "Alex!"

"Can I have a word with you?" I threw his towel to the side and grabbed him by his arms, pushing him away from the pool so I could talk to him.

"Why did you do that?" He huffed, "all those stupid little tween boys are going to start coming towards them and talking to them and trying to shove it in them! I was a young boy and—"

"You masturbated non-stop and couldn't unhook a girl's bra." I raised an eyebrow at him while he growled and turned red in embarrassment. "I know because your mother told me, and I can never forget that amazing story. Look your sisters aren't stupid, they talked to me about dating—"

"But not me!?" He whined, wow now I feel bad for him.

"Because they know you'd lock them in a tower away from the world! I told them to date when they're sixteen or seventeen and really like someone because boys just want to hit it and quit it."

"You didn't use those exact words did you?" Logan questioned.

Pft, if memory serves me correctly those girls were way more vulgar than I was.

"No I didn't Logan…so stop being overprotective, they're smart girls who really only have eyes for James. You don't want to keep trying to hide them away from the world, they'll revolt and become an overly sexual pair of twins just because their big brother tried to hide them, do you want that?" Logan frantically shook his head. "Then let them be, they're perfectly fine anyway, look." I turned Logan so he could see what I was talking about. Of course with my luck some boy just so happened to be talking to Annie while Abby was splashing James in the pool. Kendall saw this too, climbed out of the pool, picked Annie up and just started walking away with her. Alright then, there are four over protective brothers on this trip.

"Yeah you're right, they're perfectly fine." Logan chuckled and wrapped his arm on my shoulder, watching as Carlos went over to the boy that was talking to Annie, leaned over and started to whisper what I assume were quite volatile death threats.

* * *

Man, after that trip to Disney the rest of the tour was just a blur. We had days off, which was so….rare, but of course having those nice vacation days just went and brutally fucked us over with a bat. We had a show every single day afterwards and it felt like we didn't even get a chance to rest, it was so exhausting. Ugh man, we've stayed on the bus the entire rest of the trip, no hotels, so trying to get _alone time_ with Logan was a task.

Actually, one day I got so desperate I crawled into his bunk and we somehow managed to do it. It was a tiny space, but we managed. We also traumatized Carlos because his bunk was under Logan's, and that was so damn funny.

Then we realized we could have a quickie in the shower.

Or the bathrooms of the venues.

That uh, that problem fixed itself pretty quickly.

Well the last show is going to be in Connecticut, right now we're in New York and right after the show we have to start heading out, so I don't exactly have time to see the family. To solve that problem I got them passes so they could come out and chill backstage with me for a little while.

So I was back stage sitting with Carlos, we were throwing gummy worms at each other to see if we could catch them in our mouths. We looked like absolute morons, but hey, we could be some serious athletes with the skill set we have!

"Ah that's my eye!" he laughed and grabbed the worm away from his face and ate it.

"Huh, I always knew my sister had a penis and shot into people's eyes." I turned around to see Jacob standing at the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. I shook my head and threw a worm at him, which he caught in his hand as he started walking over. I stood up and gave him a hug before ruffling his hair and resting my arm on his shoulder while he shook hands with Carlos.

"Aw, I see you haven't died of an STD yet! That makes me so proud." I grinned looking up at him.

"Hey you're not pregnant yet, that makes me so proud." He commented and smacked my stomach.

Well….now that he mentions it.

"OH GOD JACOB NO!" I cried and held my stomach. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE YET!"

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE ACTUALLY PREGNANT!?" He screamed and jumped away from me, his eyes wide in horror as though his slap to my stomach killed some non-existent baby.

"No actually I'm not pregnant but the pure terror on your face was priceless." I straightened myself up and shoved my hands into my back pockets. Carlos was shaking his head and laughing while Jacob's pale face quickly contorted into anger and he pushed me really hard by my shoulders. I stumbled back and fell on the sofa while he shook his head and walked in a circle.

"You're a complete dick!" He yelled pointing at me.

"I know! I missed you too." I laughed, "Where's mom and dad?"

"Outside, dad saw Logan and started to gush like a girl about the new grill he got." Jacob rolled his eyes while I shook my head. "Oh, and I think mom is going to try to leave dad for Kendall."

"Wow, nice family." Carlos commented.

"Yeah, maybe dad will let mom sneak Kendall into the bedroom." Jacob added, and all three of us in the room made a disgusted face.

"Let's never speak of that again…" I muttered.

"Deal." Jacob nodded, and we all walked out of the room so I could go save Kendall from my mom's grasp.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

"Such a handsome band I can't get over it." Margaret gushed as she looked over James, Kendall and I. James smirked like if he was going to win over yet _another_ person's mother, but when she put her hand on Kendall's shoulder he scowled and looked at his feet. I watched as Alex, Carlos, and Jacob left the back room and started to walk over to us.

"Heeeey mom I'm glad you said hi to me first" She joked and gave her mom a hug before throwing her arms around her dad and squeezing him to death. "You too dad."

"Sorry kid, I got this awesome new grill and I know you don't care about that stuff." He said as he pulled away and ruffled her hair.

"So absolutely true." She chuckled and draped her arm over Jacob's shoulders. "So how was it getting here?" She started to ask, and Mike looked like he didn't even want to explain what hell they went to in order to get to Manhattan, so Margaret explained the hell they went to while Mike slowly started to step away, so I stepped away with him and gestured with my head down the hall.

"Good save kid." Mike said as he patted me on the back. "How have you two been?"

"We've been doing really well." I smiled at him, "I uh, I actually wanted to ask you something." I told him as I started to rub the back of my neck.

"You want to marry my kid don't you?" Mike turned to me and when he said that I stopped dead in my tracks.

"H-how—"

"No guy goes through that much effort to get alone with their girlfriend's dad unless they need to ask that question." He told me, huh, I'll have to keep that in mind. "Do you have a ring?" He questioned, and of course I nodded. I dug around in my pocket and fished out the small velvet box. It's not like I can hide it somewhere, AJ would find it in a heartbeat, and I think she might be a bloodhound. I opened the box and he peered in looking at the ring.

"And you love my daughter? You're going to take care of her and stand by her? Even though if she's a bit….odd." Mike said this and turned his head to look down the hall where AJ was engaged in a slap fight with Jacob.

"I don't want to be with anyone else but her, and I'm absolutely positive about that." I nodded to him. Mike stared at me for a moment before nodding and putting his hand on my shoulder.

"So when are you going to do it?"

"I was thinking tonight on stage…."I muttered and he quickly shook his head. "Don't do that? Why?"

"Oh she would absolutely kill you…." Mike chuckled, "I know my daughter, and I know how she likes to tease the Rushers and bother them, but I don't think she would want something that big in front of all of them."

Huh, I didn't quite think of it that way.

"Do something small and romantic, she'll like that a whole lot more than something big." Mike patted my back before walking away to join everyone else. Huh, I'm going to need to plan this out more.


	47. OH MY GOD

**(paumichyy: Logan's a totally awesome over protective big brother, it's so sweet!**

**DeniseDEMD: Hmmm well I think Logan (aka my lazy ass) did an okay job with this proposal!**

**AddictedToMusic18: A sweet romantical bad ass, hmm I don't think I pulled that off lol.**

**Shy: Oh yeah that was DEFINITELY me thinking out loud, I had written the whole stage thing out, then realized I had already done it in another story so I had to scrape that part out.**

**Carlos'sCupcake: Yeah I think a rusher would throw a water bottle at her head. Well, I at least would find that pretty funny. WATER BOTTLE KNOCK OUT! But uh, yeah Alex wouldn't enjoy that.**

**SeraphinaCruz: Funny, stage proposal was the first idea and I had written it out but I did that for a different story so I cut it lol**

**Thesandbar: I'm glad you like the twins; I've grown to adore their evil asses myself!**

**Grayhap: Hmmm…hopefully you'll like Alex's response here!**

**Am4muzik: LOL dude for Logan's sake Alex BETTER say yes or there's going to be a huge problem.**

**Emy. Elle: OHHH Future fiction material stuff huh? I'll be sure to keep that in mind, no stage proposals and MAYBE bathroom sex if it's absolutely a dire necessity!)**

* * *

Oh my gosh, this tour just did not end, it seriously went on forever! It went from a basic tour to a summer tour, ugh, thank god we're finally ending it. It's the first day of October and we finished our last show for the entire tour last night. We were supposed to head back home this morning, but for some reason the guys managed to convince the spirits that be that we should stay at least a day to rest. And you know what that rest day involves?

A fucking camp out.

I nearly packed my bag and left without them I HATE camping and I DO NOT trust these guys! You know, we went shopping for supplies and I really searched every single one of their bags to make sure no one brought like a Friday the 13th mask or a fucking machete with them. I really don't trust them they make me paranoid as hell. I love them, but they frighten me.

Well, I regret this very much, but I had to send Alistair home with one of the tour managers. I was afraid my poor baby could get hurt staying in the woods with us, and if we leave the woods to do something, well I feel awful just leaving him tied to a tree if we're gone for hours wherever we decided to go. Yeah, I couldn't bear to put my baby through that, but now I really miss him, oh man—

"How about a nice swim?" I heard James say, and I turned quickly to see James extending his arms out to push me. Naturally I screamed like a bitch and held onto his forearms to desperately keep myself from being pushed into the lake we were camping in front of. "Hey, no, that's cheating!" He whined and I dug my nails into his skin.

"JAMES I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA—LOGAN NO!" I screamed when Logan started to charge at us, he wrapped his arms around James and I and the three of us went into the water. Well, mother fucker. If I find a leech on my ass he's going to be the one that sets it on fire to get it off of me, I'm not going to risk burning my own ass for something that was his fault. "Oh I hate you SO much right now."

"Relax, we'll go to the shower house thing and get cleaned up." He laughed before James dunked him under the cold water.

"Uh huh…." I muttered and climbed out, dragging myself over to Carlos and Kendall who were sitting by the fire and eating breakfast. "So what's the plan for today princesses?"

"We are going to go check out the festival they have here for Halloween." Carlos answered with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah they take the 31 days of Halloween thing here to heart." Kendall nodded, "I'm just not going into that haunted house."

"Yes you are don't be a bitch!" Carlos said with a slap to Kendall's arm. "It'll be so fun!"

"Says you, you jump for everything!" Kendall defended.

"Hey, I'm plenty brave I barely get scared I am not a jumpy person like you!" Carlos shouted. Well that can be debatable; I still remember the time Logan and I scared the ever living shit out of Carlos in his dressing room. That was so funny and great until he got me back and cock blocked me, sigh. Well after listening to those two little girls argue about who is a bigger bitch, we took the rental van and drove up to the showers where we all got ready and cleaned up for the day. What was great was that the men's and women's showers were separated, and no one else was in the shower with me so I sang my little heart out. Actually, being alone in there was unsettling which was why I sang along so much. I thought I was going to turn around and it would be like the scene from _Psycho_, where it would just take me far too long to die. I mean, let's be honest, that stabbing took a while, they definitely glorified it. Then again, I've never been stabbed; I've only been in a car crash and somehow magically survived as though my life was a work of fiction.

Hmmm….

I had just turned off the water and made a grab for my towel, but when I checked it wasn't there.

OH SHIT THERE'S A FUCKING KILLER IN HERE FUCK MY FOOT—fuck my foot? Christ I'm a moron.

I sighed and looked down at my feet, shaking my head to myself, then I saw a towel being thrown over the top, followed by a second one. Oh my god, oh my god someone is fucking with me. I peered through the shower curtain and in a second it was thrown open and Logan charged in, using his lovely, wet body to push me against the wall.

"Oh my god you scared the fuck out of me." I breathed and rested my hands on his shoulders while he turned to the side to shut the shower curtain before biting my neck.

"Couldn't help myself." He murmured as he kissed his way up to my jaw. "The thought of you being in this shower hall all by yourself? Well, someone had to take care of you." He chuckled and stepped away, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to face the wall before placing kisses on my shoulder and up the back of my neck.

Well, by all means, do take care of me Mr. Mitchell.

* * *

That's it; we are the biggest bunch of pussies that I know.

We walk into this haunted house, and they would not let us walk side by side, we had to walk one behind the other and that did not make me feel safe. Thank god they stuck Kendall all the way in front to take the brunt of the horror. At one point some psychopath old woman with her jaw missing and a knife jumped out and Kendall just bent over clutching his knees and shaking his head. Then we got sprayed with something, water obviously, and I SCREAMED like a bitch so loudly that it made Carlos in front of me jump and Logan had to squeeze my shoulders to get me to calm down. After a minute I was okay, I started to get used to it and I was slowly figuring out where things would jump out.

Oh man fuck me sideways, something scared the shit out of Kendall and I know it was bad because he screamed and jumped back and made a grab for Carlos, but whatever it was quickly retreated. I dug my feet into the ground and I refused to move but Logan just laughed and pushed me a long. He thinks it's so god damn funny but him and James have jumped a few times! Sure it's not as much as the rest of us but they still got scared. Anyway I took two steps forward and some latch in the floor was thrown open and Freddy Krueger jumped out with his claws reaching for me. Oh my god.

I thought I peed myself.

I literally screamed and jumped in the air and Logan caught me like if we were Shaggy and Scooby Doo it was absolutely terrifying. James held on to the wall laughing while Logan tried to hold back a chuckle as he nuzzled my neck.

Well fuck the both of you. Assholes.

Anyways, after we pretty much cleared our bowels in that little horror house, we decided to get some food before heading back to our camp site. There was an all-natural restaurant on the way back so we decided to stop there. But across the street was a Wendy's and well…..bitches love a good frosty. Logan saw me staring at the Wendy's restaurant like a lost puppy, and since he's one to indulge in awful fast food, he gladly accompanied me across the street. We bought so many French fries and chicken nuggets that we could open our own restaurant, plus an original frosty for each of us!

When we got to the camp site James started up the fire and we all sat around it as we ate.

"Oh man, we have to make s'mores." Carlos said with wide eyes. "I make a seriously mean s'more, like no one can top it." He said rather proudly before taking a bite out of his burrito.

"I'm not opposed to some s'mores!" James piped up quickly.

"Me neither." Kendall grinned like a child then bit into his wrap. "We bought some stuff to make them last night, right?"

"Yeah we have." Logan nodded then put his food on his chair after standing up. "Pee-pee time." He announced before running away.

"Good to know!" I yelled out after him and shook his head. "You guys just love to share your bowel movements huh?"

"Oh you know us too well." James laughed and finished the rest of his burrito before tossing the container into the garbage bag we had set up. I rolled my eyes and kept eating until I heard Logan scream.

"Oh my god something bit his dick off." I muttered and put my food down before I took off running to where I heard him yelling. I saw a bunch of candles set up, and the first thought that came to my mind was that there was going to be a really bad forest fire…

I felt Logan's arms wrap around me from behind and I turned my head just as he kissed my cheek. "Did you fake getting your dick bitten off to get me here?"

"I don't know why you assumed it was that, but yes." He laughed and nuzzled my neck. "I just thought since we leave tomorrow you and I can sit by dangerous candlelight and gaze at the stars."

Well, at least he knows this is dangerous.

I smiled and nodded to him, letting him sit me down on a fallen tree. He sat beside me, and I could hear rustling behind us but I ignored it, hey if Jason strikes now, I'm sure he'll attack Logan first to give me time to run.

"You know AJ; I really love spending time with you."

"I love spending time with you too Logan." I said and laced my fingers with his.

"I mean it, I really love it, and I love you." I turned my head to see Logan staring at me. "I never felt so strongly about a person before so quickly until I met you. Ya know, I love everything about you, and everything that we can do together. That we can go from a five star dinner at a fancy restaurant to lounging around in one of our apartments and eating McDonald's and watching Netflix."

Sometimes when we get McDonald's I put on a sappy movie like The Notebook to get Logan to cry while eating a sundae, it's really mean but it's a really funny sight—there is something wrong with me.

"I like all of that stuff too…"

"Good…because, if you didn't…" Logan moved away from beside me and knelt on one knee in front of me, producing a small velvet box. OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

IT'S HAPPENING AND I DON'T KNOW IF I'M READY FOR THIS OH MY GOD MY MIND IS BLANK WELL NOT REALLY BUT HOLY FUCK NUGGETS OF DYNAMITE.

"It would be …really, really awkward for me to propose to you if you didn't, but AJ, I don't want anyone else by my side except for you, so will you make me the happiest guy in the world by marrying me?" He smiled that lovely crooked grin of his and flicked the box open, showing me the most amazing princess cut diamond ring I had ever seen.

MORE DIAMONDS!

OH GOD!

Oh god, before I said I was too young and way too immature and I wasn't ready, but Logan just proposed.

WELL FUCK IT!

"YES!" I smiled and shoved my hand out, Logan laughed and slid the ring on my finger before pulling my face down and kissing me. I heard clapping and I looked behind Logan to see the guys standing there grinning. Carlos had his camera and was still snapping pictures of the two of us. Logan stood up and grabbed me around the waist, swinging me in a circle before kissing me again.

"Congratulations you two!" James grinned.

"Took you long enough." Kendall chuckled.

"Um guys, forest fire." Carlos said with wide eyes and pointed to our feet where a candle had fallen and lit up a few leaves.

"OH GOD!" Logan yelled and started to stomp out the fire.

"Blow out the candles! ABORT!" James yelled and we all ran around like idiots blowing out the candles.


	48. Houses and Friends and Marriage--Oh My!

_**Sorry no answers to reviews, trying to get this out so I can sleep! I think I had something super important to say here but I honestly forgot it…my bad!**_

* * *

I'M ENGAGED MOTHER FUCKERS, SUCK ON THAT!

Also that made me come to the sad realization that I have NO female friends….like at all. I had a few back home but I wasn't really close to any…but now I just have none. I can't exactly make my brother the maid of honor, that's just sad.

OH GOD I HAVE NO FUCKING GIRLFRIENDS!

HOW THE FUCK AM I STILL ALIVE!?

Surely dealing with the guys for so long I would have killed myself without the company of a girlfriend, well, I'm going to have to pat myself on the back for that one that surely is an amazing feat. Agh, well I didn't tell Logan my sad little sob story of me not having any girlfriends because well, he would laugh at me. I'll just have to make friends myself somehow.

Uh….how does one make friends with females?

It's easy to make friends with a male, with a female it's like they stare at you and judge you and if they feel intimidated by you they'll plot your death within five minutes of meeting you. Not like I would know that…pft.

Well, anyway today Logan and the guys are out on a photo shoot. There is actually a new girl in wardrobe who I might try to associate myself with. Apparently she pinched James' butt like three times, but according to Logan, James was all for it. So you know if James is okay with some stranger poking and molesting his butt, she has to be cool. Unless she stabs a needle into his butt, makes him unconscious, drags him to her car, and takes him to her home and traps him there forever. Then again, if she's able to carry him during that entire ordeal, she fucking deserves it!

Huh….actually, if she can do all of that, I DEFINITELY want to be friends with her! Hey this is great, so far in my mind this is already a great friendship.

Ugh I'm a sad little person aren't I?

Well today I did the usual errands, grocery shopping in the morning. Then I treated myself to a manicure because my hands were absolutely shredded from tour, ugh, guitar strings can become so brutal. Then I went and bought Alistair this brand new big comfy bed and a few toys, and then I went and bought Logan his favorite bag of chocolate chip cookies.

Don't worry; I went to a different store for that.

When I walked into my apartment I dropped the bags on the floor and chuckled at what I saw. Logan was on my sofa, fully dressed with Alistair lying right next to him. Logan's arms were wrapped around Alistair as he slept, and my dog just stared at me as though he was begging for help. I couldn't help but stop and take a picture before picking up the bags with Alistair's stuff and placing them in his corner of the apartment. I walked back over and grabbed the package of cookies and set them on the side table before leaning over the back of the sofa. Alistair turned his head to stare at me, so I leaned further down and licked Logan's cheek. He chuckled and smiled and pulled Alistair closer.

My dog is the greatest thing in the world, because he turned his head and started to lick Logan's face after I did. "You should lick somewhere else." Logan said in his sleepy, raspy voice before opening his eyes. When he saw Alistair he yelped and Alistair howled before pulling himself out of his grasp and running away. Logan sat up and grimaced while wiping his face, meanwhile I stood behind the sofa laughing like a maniac. "That was so not funny."

"Oh shove it Logan if that happened to me you'd find it hysterical." I shook my head and jumped over the back of the sofa to sit by his feet. "There's a present behind you." I smiled and Logan turned around and grabbed the package quickly.

"Oh, Sausalito!" He moved his head to side to side and had wide eyes as he dropped the package on his lap. God he was so animated it was hilarious, so I had to take out my phone and snap a picture of him reaching into the bag like a child. Of course he noticed me doing this, so when he took a bite of the cookie he had huge eyes and stared right into the camera. God, love makes me so mushy sometimes. Well, into the twitter world you go!

Logan extended his arm out to offer me a cookie, so of course I took one; I mean who the hell says no to a cookie right? "So how was the photo shoot?" I asked before biting down into the sugary, buttery bit of heaven.

"Went really well, one of the magazines was there asking us questions. They wanted to know if the rumors of you and I getting married were true." He leaned back with his elbow on the arm rest and let one of his legs fall to the floor. "I said no…but we should probably say something you know?"

"Yeah I think we should announce it, but I wanted to let it swim around for a while, you know, be a tease." I grinned and Logan laughed while shaking his head.

"Do you want to do that now then?" He raised an eyebrow, and I eagerly nodded and took out my phone and gave it to Logan so he could film the two of us. What? Those arms have to go to work somehow. I crawled over and nestled myself between Logan's legs and leaned my elbow on his shoulder as he started it up.

"Hey guys…wow I don't…I don't do these video things this is weird." He turned to me and started shaking his head, so I rolled my eyes and went back to the camera.

"Hey Rushers! So we have some exciting news to share with you guys, not sure how you found it out already but—"

"We're engaged! Check it!" Logan used his free hand to grab mine and show the ring to the camera. "I bought it out of the vending machine."

"Wow he's a class act. It's true though it was the perfect fit and—"

"AHHH!" While I was talking Logan turned his head towards me and just started screaming at me. Him screaming made me scream in terror until he started laughing and cut the video off.

"YOU ARE A DICK!" I yelled and smacked him on the chest while he just laughed and wrapped his arms around me tightly before kissing me. I hope he doesn't think he saved himself by doing that. I'll be damned it was cute, but I'll get him somehow.

"But you love it." He chuckled and took another cookie. "What did you do today?"

"Ah you know; went grocery shopping this morning. Then went and got my hands all prettied up, went shopping for my baby so then I figured I might as well get you a little something." I laughed and glanced up at Logan who just shook his head with a small smile on his face.

"You know, I was thinking…" Logan began to say after a couple of minutes. Oh fuck, he's going to say how he was thinking about how I have no female friends and my side of that whole church thing will be empty. Or wherever we decide to have the location. OH GOD HE'S GOING TO SAY HE WANTS TO CALL IT OFF BECAUSE I LOVE ALISTAIR MORE THAN HIM—I DON'T BUT MAYBE HE THINKS THAT.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS MAYBE HE'LL SAY HE'S LEADING A DOUBLE LIFE AND HAS A COMPLETELY SEPARATE GIRLFRIEND AND—what the fuck is wrong with me?

"Since we have different apartments, well maybe now's the time we look for a house and move in together. I'm usually always over here anyway." He bit his lip and looked down at me. Oh….so….he's not going to make fun of me for not having any friends…..

Oh….I'm okay with this.

"Yeah that's a great idea." I grinned and nodded before kissing his cheek. "Wow….there's a lot to think about though. How big would we get it? How many bedrooms? Do we want to be by the beach, in the middle of nowhere? Overlooking the town? Near the guys? Oh god there are so many options!" I sighed and let my head rest on his shoulder. There are a lot of choices for houses here, can't get something way too expensive, then again we want something spacious; ah these are the things to consider.

"Well we have time to think of that." He nodded and trailed his fingers up and down my arm. "More than one definitely, in case our family comes over. Maybe we can get a pool, some backyard space for Alistair…" He trailed off and started to list things our house could have. Wow, this is going to be …my life. In a house, with Logan Mitchell.

Huh, I can dig it.

"You stopped listening to me and started thinking or talking to yourself didn't you?" Logan questioned while looking down at me. I pouted and nodded and he just rolled his eyes with a smile. "Alright, how about we watch some TV, just you and me and some spooning." He laughed and grabbed the remote.

"Spooning sounds like a great idea, I'll get your favorite buddy—ALISTAIR!" I yelled for my dog and he came barreling in. I patted my lap and he jumped onto the couch, settling himself on top of Logan and I. God he's so big now, but damn it he's cute as ever, he'll still be my little baby. So Logan put on that really shitty Batman and Robin movie with George Clooney, and the three of us were comfortable on the sofa watching it.

Huh, look for a house AND plan a wedding AND somehow make friends? Yeah, fuck me sideways I'm screwed.


	49. Alistair Ditched Me

_*****Busy Panda has no time to answer reviews directly, hope you enjoy this chapter! Uh….fuck me sideways I had something important to ask but it ran away from me. I'll remember eventually.**_

_**If anyone lives in the Boston area, or has anyone affected from the incidents yesterday, I hope you and your family/friends/etc are safe and well!*****_

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Time for me to make some friends!

No seriously, I need some god damn friends, female friends. You know, so we can have like…uterus parties and stuff. That's what…girls do when they're together right? Complain about their period and eat food? I mean, I do that with the guys but they kind of can't relate with the whole uterus stuff so… yeah they can't really um feel my pain.

BUT! Today I shall try to make friends with the new chick in wardrobe who happens to have a thing for James' ass, which is an awesome thing to have a…thing for. Anyway, so I came onto set and I snuck Alistair in because Logan really likes his company, and damn it he looks so cute. Plus Alistair sits at his side like a little guard dog almost. You know, when he's not sprawled out all over him and spooning and stuff. Well, I left those two boys alone and I went over to the costume area to see if I could find James and that new girl, well, I got SO lucky.

"Hey—hey, you touching my butt?" James barked teasingly, looking down to his left side at the woman with dark blonde hair who had measuring tape between her fingers, which were now pinching his butt.

"Oh absolutely James, I just had to check if 'buns of steel' was a real thing." She chuckled and stood up, pressing her front to his back so slightly that James got a devious grin on his face because obviously he knew her plan. Well, isn't this like sexual harassment in the work place?

Oh who the fuck am I kidding? James is LOVING it, poor lonely bastard.

"Hey James!" I stepped in of course to ruin their moment and James turned to me and wiggled his fingers with a smile.

"Hey Alex, what's up? Oh this is Irina the new department head."

"Hi! So you're the one that got Logan to settle down? Nice, you get a lot of shit on Twitter…." Irina chuckled, I do huh? Motherfuckers! I give them pictures of the boys bending down, stupid videos of me pranking them and getting even, sometimes a nice shot of them shirtless either after the shower or swimming, and this is what I get?

Well actually, for some reason a lot of them enjoy my really stupid antics, but some are just mad that I pretty much do what I want with Logan's body and all they can do is dream about it.

WELL SUCK ON THAT BITCHES!

Wow, I am not child friendly.

Actually, I like to hope that there is a woman out there that has a plot to kill me and win Logan's heart. It's sick, but that would be so cool, wouldn't it?! Eh, maybe I just need something to spice up my life.

"Yeah that would be me, tied him down, and forced him to put a ring on me, now he's stuck with me. Well, he can still leave but uh….If I were him I wouldn't, it could get seriously dangerous or deadly for him." I joked and she just grinned, oh gosh her eyes are blue. So she's blonde, with blue eyes, and she can somehow manage to wear heels during the day time. Okay then, I already feel less like a woman in front of her.

"That's exactly how you do it, you act sweet to get what you want and then the real bitch comes out once you have them wrapped around your finger." She laughed and stuck her hand out, so I shook hers. Alright, we greeted each other; does that mean we're okay and not going to kill one another? Or is this like the beginning of the death threats? I don't know, fuck I'm stupid.

"Well, you two ladies have a nice chat, I'm going to go film my scene, I need to be delicious." James fanned his fingers over his face and I could not help but to just shove him into the wall as he was leaving, making Irina gasp.

"How can you be so brutal to such a beautiful man?"

"Uh, easily, he's like the big brother that likes to embarrass you and point out your flaws on television." I shrugged and nodded and she just shook her head with a smile.

"Well, aren't you lucky to have such a sexy big brother?"

"Yeah, thank god he's not my biological brother or this could be weird." I nodded and leaned against the wall. "So….is it fun to grope the boys to measure them and make sure their clothes fit?"

"Oh god it so is." If she gropes Logan I'll put my fist down her throat and-"Don't worry, I don't grope Logan I know he's a taken man."

Oh….wow, alright then well, I like her even more.

* * *

IRINA IS SO AWESOME I HAVE FAITH IN FEMALES AGAIN!

SHE CUT THE INSIDE STITCHING OF THE PANTS OF ALL THE GUYS SO WHEN THEY WERE DOING THEIR SCENES IF THEY BENT OVER THE PANTS RIPPED AND YOU COULD SEE THEIR UNDERWEAR!

KENDALL HAD BRIGHT GREEN BOXER BRIEFS ON THEM THAT HAD SMILEY FACES IT WAS AWESOME!

Everyone else had boring underwear on though. Their asses were not boring, but what was covering them was boring, so at least Kendall was interesting. Anyways, I like her, she's cool. We had lunch together and aside from being a hot little thing she's also really fun to be around. On a downside she's taller than me, so not only do I feel less like a woman around her, I'm shorter. Whatever, I'll break her knees or something to make her shorter. Eh, she seems the type to get mad about that and shoot my head off with a shotgun.

I'm sure I'll think of a solution.

Anyway, Kendall and I were currently sitting in his room and jamming out. We're just really bored out of our minds so we're playing. The last song we did was Billionaire, and it was great trying to get him to rap. Surprisingly, he didn't do a shitty job. I was forcing Kendall right now to play a Fall Out Boy song, but Logan decided to come pay us a visit.

"Alistair ditched me." Logan frowned and sat on the sofa in between us. "He went to go play with Carlos."

"Ha, how does it feel, even a dog won't spoon with you!" Kendall joked.

"You haven't had a date in like a year dude, don't even talk." Logan snapped quickly, making Kendall pout and drop his head. "Ha, I win."

"Dude be nice to Kendall you guys always mess with him!" I nudged Logan with my elbow. He dramatically sighed and turned his body so he was facing Kendall.

"I'm sorry for being so verbally abusive to you baby." Logan rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Kendall, who laid his head on Logan's chest.

Wow.

These two are just un-fucking-believable sometimes, yet I completely love it.

"It's okay Logan just hug me." Kendall sniffled and nestled his head on Logan's shoulder, so I took off my engagement ring and gave it to Kendall, who grinned and slid it on his pinky finger. "Now we can finally be together!"

"I always knew Alex was a man…" Logan sighed looking down at Kendall.

"HEY FUCKER!" I yelled and slapped Logan on the arm, who just started laughing while Kendall pulled away. "IM NOT A MAN!"

"Wow Kendall your mouth doesn't even move as you yell at me." Logan remarked with a devious grin as he stared at Kendall.

"Hey I'm pretty magical." Kendall nodded and I had to resist the urge to slap Logan on the nuts. Yeah apparently a slap hurts more than a punch…? I don't know if that's true, but at some point I am going to verify that. "Anyways, here ya go Alexander—I mean Alex." Kendall smirked and handed my ring back to me before high-fiving Logan.

"You guys are shit-popsicles." I muttered and pulled my ring back on my finger. "So what Logan, you were lonely and decided to ruin our jam session?"

"Well that and I saw James pull Irina into his dressing room, thought you'd be interested in that bit of gossip." Logan turned to me with a grin. Oh yes, I am so interested in that gossip. I am now going to take every last bit of energy I have in my body, and for the extent of their relationship, I will tease and bother the shit out of James. It may be childish, but I so don't give a fuck.

"I hope he's pranking her for splitting our pants today." Kendall sighed, and the two of us looked at him like he was a moron. "He's not pranking her is he?"

"Oh pranking a girl looking like that?" Logan began to say, so I crossed my arms and turned over to glare at him. "I mean…yeah that's exactly what he's doing, just a prank."

"Nice save Logan." I muttered staring him down, and he shrugged his shoulders with a huge grin on his face. He leaned over to try to kiss me but I shook my head and started scooting further back on the sofa with him following.

"No sex on my couch!" Kendall warned, so Logan stood up and I know what this means. Logan will either put me over his shoulder, or tickle me till I die, so I got up and ran out of the room as quick as I could and dove into Carlos' room before locking the door. Carlos looked up with wide eyes, taking his gaze away from my dog that was passed out by his side, and he switched his gaze between the shaking door and I "Okay, who did you insult?"

"No one!" I frowned and Carlos just tilted his head to the side. "Seriously! I said nothing wrong; it's just Logan being an idiot."

"Oh that sounds about right." He shook his head and tossed his phone to the side. When the banging stopped he stood up and opened the door poking his head out. "You're clear!" He waved me over, and as soon as I put one foot out Carlos shoved me out the door and locked it behind him. I turned around to try to get in but I couldn't, and I could see Logan standing at the end of the hall staring at me with a wicked grin on his face, and super soaker.

Well, I lived a good life, somewhat.


	50. Threats of Bodily Harm

**(SHY: Huh, that's a good ultimatum; Logan would drop that super soaker so fast it'd be gone in a flash…**

**Hedleyfaberdrive101: wahoo I'm going to take that as you finding the chapter to be funny!**

**Am4muzik: Yeah I realized how that sounded after I wrote it but I was too lazy to change it lol. KOGAN FTW!**

**Thesandbar: Haha well thank you! I'm just glad you find my sense of humor to be funny and that you enjoy the story!**

**AddictedToMusic18: LMAO that one is a little fucked up, couldn't that blow someone's face off?**

**Emy. Elle: Aw your welcome, I had a feeling James needed someone totally amazing in this story. UMMM I'll agree with you there, James is pretty awesome and his sense of humor is EPIC I wasn't too sure on what it was but these more recent videos totally help me along, he's fucked up like us!**

**DeniseDEMD: Hey it's not a bad way to go down! If you drown by super soaker, at least the sexy and desirable Logan is there!**

**SeraphinaCruz: Oh man I know what you mean, commutes can be deadly terrible, but hey I'm glad It made you smile!**

**IHEARTROCK: Ha sorry for making you look like a maniac!**

**Carlos'sCupcake: I would bite it, or literally kiss his ass. Everything about that man is just delicious! Of course you know Irina would be the one wardrobe lady molesting people! It's great! And I already told you nut punching vs a tap :P)**

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I really hate Logan fucking Mitchell right now. He is a pain in the ass and I do not intend on touching him for at least a year, what a fucking annoying fucking bastard fucking fuck fuck faces of FUCK! HE'S THE BIGGEST FUCKING PERFECTIONIST IN THE WORLD! How the fuck I didn't realize this is beyond me but OH MY GOD HE'S FUCKING ANNOYING.

"Baby come on you look so annoyed!" Logan whined. Currently we were sitting in his apartment and he had put on some music and was dancing around, humping the air and just running around like a fucking moron. Usually I found this funny, and eventually with seeing all of his pelvic thrusts I would just pounce and fuck him on the floor but I am not in the mood today. I got up at seven in the morning, to leave with him at eight, for an appointment we had at eight thirty to see his stupid fucking real estate agent. MIND YOU I TRIED TO LOOK FUCKING NICE! I wore HEELS, FUCKING HEELS! I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY OWN MORE THAN ONE PAIR UNTIL I WENT SHOPPING WITH IRINA AND SHE MADE ME BUY SOME! I WORE HEELS AND A FUCKING DRESS FOR THIS SHIT AND YOU KNOW WHAT?! IT WAS A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME.

I can't even tell you how many houses I saw, I honestly fucking can't it's absurd. We saw so many houses that after five I just stopped, everything I knew was just a lie I felt like I wasn't even in this world anymore. NOTHING FUCKING SATISFIED LOGAN! He either didn't find the front yard to be attractive, said the backyard was too small, didn't like the unfinished basement, hated the kitchen, didn't think there were enough bedrooms or bathrooms, thought the master bedroom was too small, FUCKING SO MUCH MORE THERE WAS A LOT! I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT! Then if I suggested we could just redo the kitchen or something he didn't want to hear it because he said the space would be too small or WHATEVER FUCKING REASON HE HAD!

I WAS PISSED!

IT'S SIX O'CLOCK. WE SPENT THE WHOLE GOD DAMN DAY WITH THAT REAL ESTATE AGENT I AM FUCKING DYING!

I THOUGHT ALL OF THE HOUSES WERE GREAT! HE DIDN'T! I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER A VILLAGE OF…STUFF!

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**Logan's POV**

"Shut the fuck up." She snarled and kicked her shoes off, then threw her bag on the floor and propped her feet up on my coffee table. Okay, so she's a bit grumpy.

"You look beautiful in that dress you know." I said slowly to try to appeal to her soft side; yeah her soft side isn't there right now.

"Shove it up your ass Mitchell." Alex growled and got up from the sofa, walking away from me and over to the kitchen. Okay so she's very grumpy, but hey it takes a long time to find the perfect house, I want to make sure it's absolutely perfect for AJ, Alistair, myself, when our families come over, if we ever decide to start a family….

Anyway, I kicked off my sneakers and went over to the kitchen to see her shaking her head in disgust at the leftover taco bell wrappers on my counter. What? It was late last night and I had a craving for those new Doritos Tacos things….so I bought about four of them and forgot to throw out the trash. When she cleared the counter I stood behind her and started dancing, grabbing a hold of her arms and raising them up to dance with me. "I swear to all that is holy I will rip your cock off and shove it so far down your throat it's going to come out of your ass and you'll have an orgasm." She threatened, so I immediately dropped her arms and stepped away from her. Holy fuck that is the most violent insult I've heard slip out of her mouth. She stood still for a moment before shaking her head and marching out of the kitchen.

"Hey where are you going!?"

"To **my** apartment, I'm not in the mood right now." She growled and pushed past me and went to the living room to get her shoes. I ran after her and slid in front of her as she bent down to get her shoes, her face nearly colliding with my crotch. "I swear to god Logan I'm going to bite that in the most non-sexual way ever." She glared and stood up straight, glaring right up at me.

"Come on I'm sorry today was so long! I just want the perfect house for you me and Alistair, for when we entertain and have people over and for when we have a family of our own." I put my hands on her shoulders and she just stared at me, completely not fazed by anything I had just said. I sighed and pushed her down onto the sofa, then sat on her lap and grabbed the laptop.

"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"

"I'm going to make you laugh." I stated and went on to YouTube. Apparently Carlos uploaded a video we had done on tour before we met Alex, and well, I think she should see it and laugh. I started it up and put the laptop on the coffee table. "GET OFF OF ME!" She yelled and I just moved my ass off of her lap and sat beside her. She rolled her eyes and leaned on her elbow as she watched the video. I saw the corner of her mouth twitch and knew she was trying to hold back from smiling. I grinned watching her, and when it came up to the part where I was humping the glass table, she lost it and started to giggle like a maniac. Then when we moved to the elevator she just could not stop laughing, the way I wiggled my tongue at the camera, she just about lost it.

When the video was over she refused to look at me, must be because I made her smile and laugh and forget about how much she hates me…

"Oh you know you loved it AJ." I chuckled and stood up in front of her. "What did it for you? Was it this?" I bit down on my bottom lip and started thrusting in front of her. She just rolled her eyes and stayed quiet, not looking at me at all. "Oh no, my crotch is getting drawn in!" I yelled and started moving closer to her.

"I swear to god Logan if you hump my face…" She started to threaten, and I just couldn't help myself. I kept moving closer and closer until she was back up against the sofa, and then I pushed my crotch into her face. She snapped and pinched my butt as hard as she could. When she did and I jumped back, she tackled me onto the ground and started to tickle me. "NOT FUN IS IT LOGAN!?" She shouted, running her fingers down my belly and neck. I quickly made a grab for her and rolled over her, running my fingers down her sides.

"Oh I don't know, I think I'm enjoying this." I laughed while she screamed and squirmed underneath me.

"LOGAN NO!" She wailed and her legs were kicking, and I don't know if this was on purpose or not, but she nailed me right on the crotch. I grunted and rolled right off of her, holding myself and curling up into a ball on my side. "Oh my god I'm so sorry." She giggled and sat up behind me, resting her hands on my bicep. "But that's kind of what you get for humping my face, you totally had it coming."

"Oh god I can't feel my nuts." I breathed, and all I got was a giggle out of her. Alex quickly reached over and undid my belt and my pants. I opened my mouth to question what she was doing, but she just pushed me over so I was on my stomach. "AJ what-OW!" She had yanked down the back of my pants and smacked my ass with all of her might. "WHAT THE HELL!?

"Just getting my revenge for today." She laughed and hit me again. When I was positive my nuts were still intact and I was able to breathe again, I stood up and listened to AJ swear under her breath before running away. I quickly chased after her and caught her right as she was trying to lock the door and keep me out of my own bedroom. I shoved the door open and when she stumbled back; I wrapped my arms tightly around her and kept her close to me. "Wait don't kill me, I love you!" She pleaded, ha.

"I love you too AJ." I smiled and kissed her before throwing the two of us on top of the bed. "That's why I spent forever looking at houses today; I just wanted us to find the perfect space….sorry if it was too much in one day."

"You made up for it, that video was ridiculous." She laughed and wiggled in my grasp. "Sorry for um….threatening you….with bodily harm."

"It's fine I know you wouldn't actually do it." I kissed her and pulled away, "But you know, my uh, my dick could use some love, he's been through a lot, I wish you could fix it." I grinned and watched her raise her eyebrows before nodding slowly.

"You should get to it then, you fix yourself I'll be in the kitchen." She laughed and shoved my own hand down my pants before trying to get up and leave.

"Oh no no no, you are not getting away AJ." I took my hand out of my pants and grabbed her to keep her back with me. Hey, she threatened me and was totally rude, PLUS she hit my dick with her leg, I'm pretty sure I deserve a little something, or a lot of something, to make up for all I've been through!


	51. Logan's Day

**(**_**So I'm totally doing a dick move and using the excuse of 'I'm sick' to not reply to reviews right now…yeah I've been doing that a lot lately, I'm just really tired and want to get this out since I might not update tomorrow.**_**)**

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**Logan's POV**

Huh…it's our day off, and I'm home alone with nothing to do. I mean….wow, it's weird, usually I would just walk next door, see Alex, have sex even if she's not really in the mood because let's face it, she can't resist this, and then we'd go out and grab something to eat. But instead, she's actually out…with Irina, AJ now has a female friend to hang out with. Huh….I feel like I'm kind of free, sweet. I went over to the kitchen in just my sweat pants and poured myself a heaping bowl of captain crunch, and then I dropped down on my sofa, put my feet up and turned on the TV to watch some cartoons. I was watching a re-run of the old Batman the Animated Series cartoon when I heard the door open to my apartment, hey, Alex is here….early. I turned my head and my eyes pretty much popped open at seeing my mom walk through, aw fuck me sideways—

I have been spending too much time with Alex….

"LOGIE BEAR! Hi sweetie pie!" She ran over and kissed every inch of my face before dropping her bag on the arm chair. "Good morning!—Oh my god this place is a pig sty!"

"…Morning mom, what are you doing here?" I stood up, putting my cereal bowl down on the coffee table while she shook her head gathering the loose newspaper and old wrappers from around the living room.

"I came to see how my boy was doing and to spend some time with you! I haven't seen you for a while so I thought this would be nice!"

"It is nice I just wish you would have called me first…"I remarked, following her into the kitchen. "Can I get you anything? Want something to drink?"

"Well you can answer me this question!" She began to sigh while pulling out my garbage can and throwing the trash she had picked up inside. "Why is this place such a _mess_ Logan? See this is why you should have stayed at home with me where I can keep everything nice and clean. Doesn't Alex pick up after you?" She shook her head while maneuvering around the kitchen.

Wow, if I made Alex pick up after me, she would drop laxatives in my morning coffee and ruin my entire day. Actually, she did that to Carlos last week, completely on accident though, she thought it was James' coffee and wanted to get back at him for pushing her into mud after we were all done filming. Still though, Carlos was so upset and err….sick, it was priceless.

"Uh….no she doesn't."

"Wives are supposed to do that you know!" My mom sang, walking around my apartment and picking up garbage.

"Well she's not my wife yet we just got engaged, she doesn't even live here she still has her own apartment." I told my mom, trying to take the garbage can from her but she was not letting that go.

"Ugh what a shame! Why don't you guys move back home in with me until you get a place of your own?" My mom looked up at my smiling.

"Actually mom we just found a place! It's really nice, three bedrooms, three bathrooms, great attic space, and finished basement. Spacious backyard with a pool, two car garage, it's a really nice house." I smiled at my mom, I feel pretty proud with my choice. Granted we had to do that whole searching thing for about two weeks, for hours and Alex was losing her mind, but we still found the _perfect_ house for the two of us.

"Oh, well that's great sweetie! I would have liked you to take me around but I guess it didn't cross your mind….now when are you guys going to give me grandchildren hmm? I can't wait forever you know." She laughed and put the garbage can down. Oh my god, children? NO, NO KIDS YET!

"Mom we just got engaged, we don't even live together yet we have awhile before we have kids!" I explained with wide eyes. Dude, I'm not getting her pregnant yet, we're still filming the show and touring, if we have a kid… I mean…now is not a good time we're just too busy! Plus, Alex is going to be a major BITCH when she's pregnant.

Imagine those hormones?

My god, we'd all end up killing ourselves.

I'll never tell her I think that though.

"I suppose….just saying though I was your age and you were already a year old…" She tidied up the rest of the house before getting herself a cup of coffee. "Now tell me how things are with you sweetie. Where's Alex today?"

"She's out with our friend Irina shopping, they're having a girls day." I nodded and sat beside her on the sofa. While mom went to get coffee I decided to go put a shirt on, it's awkward being around my mom shirtless if I'm not at a pool or beach, like I feel it's rude for some reason. "You want to have a mother and son day don't you?" I smiled and my mom grinned as big as she possibly could.

"I absolutely do! We'll make lunch and watch movies!" She clapped her hands together.

Ha, making lunch won't happen I haven't bought groceries for like….a week I've been eating at Alex's place every day. Oh man, I have a problem don't I?

"Uhh….about that—"

"You don't have food here, do you? Logan do I need to take you grocery shopping? If you two are in a relationship and engaged how do you not have food!? What are you two doing all the time that you don't have a full refrigerator and a clean apartment?" My mom huffed crossing her arms over her chest.

Well, we have sex a lot and work….

"Well...Alex has food so if I want to eat I just go next door and she feeds me. This is good though, because we can order food and not have to do anything and just relax!"

"Logan having take-out so much isn't healthy." She scolded me, pfft I don't eat take out all the time so it's okay!

"Oh come on mom, it's just once with your son! My treat, it'll be nice!" I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek, and that just made my mom melt. Yeah, I know what to do to make my mom give in for just about anything. I could probably ask her to rob a bank with me and all I would need to do is give her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Okay fine we'll do that…you pick the place Logie anything is fine with me." She ruffled my hair, so I went to the kitchen and grabbed a menu for some Japanese food. After she picked what she wanted, I placed the order while she looked for what movies she wanted to watch with me. We ended up watching Liar Liar before she found my copy of The Notebook and put that on.

Don't judge me, it's a great movie! A GREAT MOVIE!

"Well Logan I have to get going, the girls are going to be home soon and they're bringing their little friends along to have dinner." My mom said as she stood up from the sofa.

"Friends huh? These friends are girls, right no boys?"

"No boys sweetie." She laughed and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a squeeze. "Aw, we have to do this again soon! I love you baby, but buy some groceries and clean up the house a little bit! Or at least have Alex take care of some of this, my goodness." She shook her head and picked up her bag, walking to the door with me behind her.

"I'll be sure to do that mom, I love you let me know when you get home okay?"

"I will my beautiful baby boy!" She turned around and pinched my cheek, ugh I still hate that. "I love you Logie!" She wiggled her fingers at me and walked out the door. After closing it I started to pick up the trash when I noticed Alistair come out of my room.

"Hey buddy; decided you wanted to hide in there all day away from my mom huh?" I asked him, bending down to scratch behind his ear. "Yeah that was a smart idea she would not have let you go." I threw out the rest of our trash, and just as I got back to the living room the door opened, and in came a very tired looking Alex, now in her pajamas and slippers. I guess she went and changed and dropped off her purchases before coming in. "Hey baby!" I grinned and walked over to her. She smiled and draped her arms around my neck before kissing me.

"Hey dimples, how was your day? Wow it…it is really clean in here." She dropped back on the heels of her feet and looked around the apartment. "Like seriously clean, what the hell happened?"

"Hey, I can pick up after myself once in a while!" I defended, but she was not having it.

"Alright, who came over? Carlos or your mom?"

"Now why do you assume that?" I shook my head," I'm genuinely offended!"

"I got a really sexy hot pink number from a new sexy store Irina showed me…" Alex said quietly, trailing her index fingers down my chest to the waist of my pants. "I'd love to model it for you, but uh…I don't model for liars, it's not my thing you know?" She smirked and bit down on her bottom lip, staring up at me through her lashes.

Oh god damn it, she knows just where to get me.

"Yeah I don't know what you're talking about." I shrugged and looked away from her.

"Logan I saw your mother downstairs you idiot!" She slapped my chest.

AW COME ON MOM!

"Damn it! So wait are you still going to model for me?" I questioned with a pout.

"Ha ha no fuck that, you lied bitch."


	52. Odd Couple

**(**_**I'm just going to somehow become famous and quit school. Fucking ridiculous, all I've learned this semester: you may be paying for your education but that doesn't mean your professors actually have to be good and qualified at their job.**_**)**

* * *

Okay, so Logan had call time at about six A.M. Lovely little me didn't have to go in until ten so I could start working with Kendall on songs and stuff. We still don't know what we'll call ourselves; maybe we'll call ourselves um…The Chill after all, even though that sounds seriously lame to me. Maybe we'll be Green Lantern Corp—wait is that copyrighted? Yeah I don't know, maybe I'll tweet out some fans to give me some ideas.

And tweet sent, they better give us some good name ideas, or no more pictures of the guys!

Anyway, because I am the best fucking fiancé in this entire planet, I decided I would just be a doll and pick up breakfast on the way there. Then I thought it's kind of a dick move to just buy Logan breakfast, so I got all of the guys a breakfast burrito because I know they like them so much. THEN I thought it would be rude to not get something for Irina, so I fucking bought another one, then one for myself. My god, it's a good thing I stopped there or I would have had to buy food for the entire crew, and then I would be broke. I walked into Logan's dressing room and I saw him curled up on his sofa with his hands crossed over his chest, completely knocked out.

AW he looks so cute when he's taking a nap, with his stupid little sleep mask on! How cute! I walked a little closer to him and I noticed something I hadn't quite noticed before, I mean…I never saw it. On Logan's little end table was a pair of black ray ban glasses…Huh. Now I know he wears sunglasses but…prescription glasses? Oh get the fuck out I am so trying these on to see if they are real.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE REAL!

OH MY GOD

THAT EXPLAINS SO SO SO MUCH!

My god, I've gone over a year wondering why Logan would bump into things really early in the morning. My god, it's so seamless, and to think all this time I just thought he was an idiot in the wee hours of the morning. Aw, is he ashamed of his glasses and terrible sight? Poor baby.

I set the glasses back down and sat by his feet on the sofa. As soon as I opened the paper bag and started to pull out our burritos Logan started to wake up. Figures, his little fat ass always wakes up when the sound of a paper bag crinkling happens to be near him. I glanced over and Logan sat up, stretching and letting out a loud yawn before scooting over to me. "Well hey my handsome four eyes." While I was grinning he frowned and pouted like a confused puppy. "You left your glasses out, you sexy little hipster."

"Damn it…" He muttered and quickly grabbed his glasses.

"Can I see them on you?" I begged him, "Please? I never saw them on you before!"

"Alex seriously—"

"PLEASE! I bet you look so cute!" I whined and sat up on my knees, resting my hands on his knees and leaning over him. Yeah I really want to see them on him and if I have to, I'll so fuck him right here in the dressing room, it's totally okay by me. I am willing to take one for the team!

"Fine…I hate wearing these things outside though so no pictures!"

"Why not?" I watched Logan put on the glasses, and oh my god….he looks so fucking delicious.

"Glasses just aren't my thing, I don't like them. I really hate the way I look and—what are you doing?"

"You can wait to have breakfast." I muttered pushing him back by his shoulders so he was lying against the arm rest. Yeah, I kind of started to climb over him at this point.

What? Don't' you DARE judge me right now.

"Are…you seriously doing this because of the glasses?" Logan laughed and put his hands on my waist as I saddled up like I was about to ride a horse—WOW.

My god I just…I can't …I can't even deal with myself right now.

"You look so adorable, so yes, we're going to get it on." I laughed and leaned down to kiss him.

Wow, we fuck a lot. Well I guess it's a good thing they invented condoms, or I would have had about three thousand babies by now.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

Well, I'm going to wear my glasses around the house from now on that's all I have to say. I honestly hated the way I looked in glasses, I have for the longest time but that was the greatest confidence boost I could ever get after putting them on. After that quick round we put our clothes back on and sat side by side eating breakfast. "Hey Logan," AJ said after taking a huge bite, "Let's say I got kidnapped by an English mad man. Would you rescue me?"

"Ha, no fuck that, I'd let the police handle that." I answered with a laugh.

"Even if some dude with a hammer hand was threatening to bash my brains in?" AJ pressed.

"Yeah absolutely not, good luck." I laughed and took another bite of my food. "Why? Thinking of getting into some danger?"

"Yeah I was thinking that the next tour we go on we should re-create Big Time Movie, I would kill to watch you fainting every five minutes in person." She threw her head back laughing at me.

Grr, so precious isn't she?

"You are just so precious." I chuckled and glanced at her, watching her grin and wink at me before taking another bite of food. "So any word on how the house is coming along?"

"Yup, I called this morning before I got here." She grinned and tucked her legs under her as she began to talk. "They installed the washer and dryer for us, the kitchen is almost completely finished, they still have to do the back splash and get the counters done, but all of the items are installed for us. Oh, and they just got that big ass sex tub for the master bathroom, so with painting and everything, we should be good to move in next week."

"Hey that's fantastic." I smiled wide, yeah this whole house hunting thing was a bitch, plus trying to pick out how we wanted the house to look _after_ we got the perfect one we wanted was a pain in the ass too. The master bedroom was where we had the fight over how we wanted it to look, Alex wanted it to be black and white striped but I wasn't feeling that, so we're settling for a bright white room with black furniture and like, bright colored accents and bedding and shit. We actually got into a fight over that, she said it was basically the same thing.

It really isn't, duh.

"Alright great, I'll find a mover for us and we'll have to pack whenever we get the chance." I told her and leaned back on the sofa. "Now we can plan for the wedding. I was thinking a spring wedding." I suggested to her as I brought my leg up over the other one. "Not too hot so there's no mosquitos, not too cold—"

"No mosquitos? Are we doing an outdoor wedding?" She cocked an eyebrow and stared at me, leaning on her elbow.

Okay fine so I've been thinking a lot about the wedding.

"Well….maybe I mean—"

"Logan…I really don't want a big wedding I'm just going to say that now. I just want our close friends, our families and that's it, I don't want to make it some big thing." She sighed and ran a hand through her bangs to straighten them out.

"Yeah I'm totally fine with that, I just thought we could do something outdoors since…I like it so much."

"Alright we can do that. What did you have in mind?" I chewed on my lip and shrugged my shoulders. I didn't think it through really, I just thought outdoors would be cool.

"I don't have a spot yet, but we can just look and see if we find anything I like." Alex seemed okay with that, she nodded and went back to her burrito.

"I'm fine with that. We also have to consider catering, a DJ, the cake, suits, dresses, oh man _my_ dress. Ugh that's all such a pain in the ass, I'm going to make Irina do it with me she loves fashion." She shrugged and took a huge bite out of the burrito.

"Are you sure she even wants to do that?" I asked, and all she did was stare at me and blink innocently.

"I said I'd make her do it with me, I never said I'd ask." She smiled sweetly and went back to eating. Wow, alright then, sometimes it slips my mind that my fiancé's a bossy bitch. "Mmm, so fucking good. So Kendall and I have a few songs down for us, saw some of the stuff he's working on for the new BTR album. Wow, he's got some good stuff going on I'll tell you that."

"Hey!" I pouted and scooted closer to her. "What about me? My songs are pretty kick ass you know, maybe even better."

"Meh…" she shrugged and looked away from me.

"Oh you know that's just not right young lady."

"Young lady huh?" She teased and raised an eyebrow. "Are we doing this? Are we going to start the kinky talk now? You're gonna let that southern drawl come out to make my panties wet?"

Oh…she's a devious little—

"Hey are you decent?" Carlos opened the door to the dressing room without knocking and walked right in. "You and I have a scene to do, oh and Kendall wants to go practice a song with you."

"No problem." Alex wrapped up the rest of her burrito and stood up, bending down to grab my chin and peck my lips. "See you later baby." She then moved and kissed my cheek before whispering in my ear. "Maybe later you can tell me just how much of a bad young lady I am, make me behave." She smirked and bit my earlobe before walking out of the room.

Oh god, you tease….


	53. You So Delicious

You know there is just something so beautiful about knowing a bunch of guys. The beautiful aspect of it is that when we are moving from two apartments into one house, there are four men that are going to do all the heavy lifting and look beautiful and grunt while doing it. So ordinarily I would most definitely be helping them because I am not opposed to some hard work, but Irina told me a beautiful game I should play. She'd be here helping me but she had something to do, ah well her loss!

Anyways, the game is to sit in a corner where they can't find me and tell me to do something and watch them. Yeah watch them like a hawk and I'll be honest, I am enjoying watching Logan way too much. He bends down and when he grabs a box you can see all the muscles in his deliciously huge biceps. When he squats down and his shorts slide around I get a peek at those yummy legs of his and then he grunts and my ovaries just get up on their own and run away from me. Oh man, if the guys weren't here I'd probably mount Logan on a stack of boxes or something, or the floor…or the wall.

Alright, no matter how tired we are I am having sex with Logan today!

"Hey lazy ass how about you help out some huh?" James laughed and kicked a box in my direction, damn it I've been caught!

"Sorry I was too busy admiring how delicious Logan looks when he's all sweaty and grunting." I laughed and picked up the box and Carlos who was standing behind James cringed.

"Aw come on, I don't want to hear that!"

"How are you still not used to my dirty mouth?" I laughed and walked inside.

"We try to forget half of the things you say." James responded as we walked into the kitchen with the boxes. "We've adopted you as the little sister we love to hate."

"And boy do I love walking around being able to say I'm banging your little sister." Logan laughed and entered the kitchen with Kendall carrying more boxes.

"If she was my biological little sister I so wouldn't let you near her just saying." James teased and elbowed him before leaving.

"If you were _my_ biological little sister, I wouldn't want to work with you or our go on tour with you I hate hearing you guys going at it." Kendall decided to add, so the two of us glanced over at Carlos to see if he had anything to say about it.

"I'd probably be in therapy." He nodded and left the kitchen leaving me and Logan alone.

"I love how quickly we can traumatize them." I laughed and walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his belly and letting my head rest on his gloriously sweaty chest. "You're delicious you know?"

"Wow, I'm delicious? I love how easily attracted you are to me." Logan chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, so I got to feel and stare at his wonderful biceps. Oh this is wonderful, so wonderful. I love how easily attracted I am to you too sir, believe me. "I don't even have to work out for you to love me."

No, no you do not but if you do just know that I will be watching you while fanning myself.

"No…do you think you need to work out for me to love you?" I raised an eyebrow at him when I pulled away. Yes believe it or not I can tell when he's upset and something sounded off with the way he said that. I'm not that much of a prick you know.

"I uh, heard I've been getting a little pudgy." He told me with a shrug.

WHO DO I KILL!?

"Who the fuck said you were getting pudgy?!" I growled and Logan just shook his head.

"Just tweets I got from a few Rushers. Yeah I don't really work out but I'm not fat right? It's not fair to compare me to James and Carlos who are in the gym non-stop and Kendall who eats all healthy and actually goes running. For someone like me I think I look pretty good." He reasoned and nodded to himself.

AW MY POOR BABY FIRST THE GLASSES AND NOW THIS?

SOME LITTLE GIRL IS GOING TO GET MY FOOT UP HER ASS!

"Logan Mitchell, you look delicious. You always look delicious and you always will look delicious! You're not fat, you just have a different body type than the three of them so you'll never look like them because…well their bodies are all very different. You on the other hand have the very strong 'I'm a man' body. Does that make sense?"

"No." He muttered and shook his head and I had to fight back the urge to slap him on his nipple.

"What I'm trying to say is that you're fit and sexy! I love your biceps they're so big and delicious, and your pecks are amazing." I smiled at him and trailed my hands down his chest. See now I can grope him while making him feel better. "Don't even get me started on your thighs." I whistled and shook my head, "I _love_ your thighs, and what's in between them." I laughed and I was happy to see Logan smile at that, but only just a little. "Logan if it really bothers you, you can work out with me."

"You? I haven't seen you go to the gym since we got back from tour." He laughed and then his eyes widened, "Wait do you mean even more sex I can do that."

"No stupid I've been working out a different way, but I'm not opposed to more sex—"

"SERIOUSLY HELP US WITH THESE BOXES THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!" James yelled from outside. Okay, so I guess the sexy talk will have to wait until later when they're gone and everything is moved in.

"Fine well, I'll see what you do." Logan muttered and followed me out of the kitchen.

* * *

"Just Dance video games? This is what you've been doing to stay fit?" Logan laughed as I took out the stack of games from one of the boxes in the living room. "Oh this is nice."

"Hey mister, these dancing games keep me looking nice and sexy and if I recall, you happen to like the way I look!" I defended as I looked through the games. "You said you were willing to try my workout. I don't see what the problem is you dance for real this should be _no problem_ for you, am I right?" I raised an eyebrow at him. Logan gets SO defensive when I do that, it's like a silent challenge.

He also hates when I call him a little bitch but you know, that's just fuel for the testosterone fire and I love the results that I tend to get from that.

"Yeah well…I don't see how this is a workout." He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "Doing one or two songs isn't a workout babe."

"Okay smarty pants, I don't do one or two songs I do it for an hour or more and believe me you will be dripping by the time this is done!" I grabbed a disc and popped it into the 360. "Now get off your beautiful ass and dance with me.

**Five Minutes Later**

OH MY GOD WATCHING LOGAN DANCE WITH ME TO OOPS I DID IT AGAIN IS THE BEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD I THINK I PEED!

"Alex stop laughing we have to do another song!" He huffed and wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

"I CAN'T! I CAN'T!" I laughed and held my stomach, "Logan you dance so sexily and feminine it hurts!"

Okay so after a few minutes I composed myself and got up to dance with him again and naturally I was a prick and I picked Umbrella. Well Logan swaying his body like a female and dancing so sexy made me lose my shit. I started to laugh so hard that I couldn't breathe and I was just bent over holding my knees and laughing.

"Ugh fuck this I'm not doing this shit with you!" Logan yelled and stormed off to our bedroom, knocking over several boxes on his way there.

"Logan come on!" I laughed and yelled for him but all I got in response was the sound of the door being slammed shut. Okay….so he's mad, that's fine I totally get that….it's just that he was so damn cute and funny! THAT SEXY BEND WE HAD TO DO I LOST MY SHIT I CAN'T HELP IT.

It took a solid five minutes for me to stop laughing, and when I ran upstairs to the bedroom I was surprised to see it was locked.

Mother fucker locked me out!

"Logan open the door!" I yelled and banged on it.

"No I'm not opening it. You know how I feel and laughing at me doesn't make it any better. You can sleep on the couch tonight!" He yelled at me.

Oh my god…oh my god I've been kicked out of bed! LOGAN KICKED ME OUT OF THE BED!

WELL SHIT NOW WHAT DO I DO I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS! I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD GET THIS MAD AT ME LAUGHING AT HIM.


	54. Apologies and Panicking

**(am4muzik: Yeah bitches aren't allowed to make fun of Logan!**

**Thesandbar: lmao I just got the game and oh my god the thought of a guy doing that, I just…it just seems so beautifully funny**

**IHEARTROCK: I SO KNOW THE DANCE AND NOW I WANT TO SEE THIS HAPPEN!**

**SHY: This might be the first instance where the woman has to sleep on the couch lmao**

**AddictedToMusic18: Poor Logan doesn't feel sexy! Aw, poor baby**

**Grayhap: Well thank you for that then!**

**LazyLazyWriter: Seriously if they think he's fat then fuck them more delicious Logie for us!**

**Emy. Elle: Oh god please don't kill her she didn't think it would turn out so negatively she loves Logan! RUN ALEX RUN!**

**Btrfanfiction1516: WOO HOO I LOVE GETTING THAT REACTION OUT OF PEOPLE)**

* * *

Okay, so I have come to the conclusion that I am just a big ol' gaping asshole of bitch and misunderstanding.

One I had to sleep on the couch last night but thankfully Alistair kept me company or I probably would have frozen my ass off. It's fine though, I just froze my feet off. Then when I woke up I noticed the bedroom was unlocked so I ran in to try and talk to him but he was gone…so that means Logan already left somewhere and I have no idea where he went, so I sent a couple of texts out and found out he was spending the day with Kendall.

**He's with me, what did you do?**

**WHY DID I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING?!**

**Because I know you**

**Ok I laughed at him when we were working out**

**WAY TO STAB THE DUDE'S PRIDE!**

I honestly didn't think me laughing at him shaking his hips like a female with me was going to be that big of a deal! He laughs and pokes fun at everyone all the time and he usually has no problem dancing around and being silly!

**I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A BAD THING IT WAS FUNNY!**

**Logan already has image issues, so trying to fix it with him and then laughing at him does not bode well. Believe me, when the show started and he started working out I used to poke fun at him for not being able to lift a weight in one arm. Jokes on me because now he lifts more than I do, but yeah he did throw a basketball at my head for that. He's very self conscious**

Well now I feel like a piece of shit. I didn't think I was hurting him by laughing at his dancing considering he always jokes around! Well fuck me sideways I'm a piece of shit now! Agh I need to make this up to Logan…so now to plot.

* * *

OKAY! So I was not expecting Logan to come home so late at night but he's lucky that I'm awake! Okay fine it's only ten but I did a lot of unpacking today and I thought I was going to pass out at around five o' clock so…this is lucky. I heard him open the door and I scrambled into the kitchen as quick as I could. I happen to have noticed a very important detail. In both bets I have made in the past with Logan he has requested that I wear a French maid's outfit, he just happened to lose both bets.

So I one-upped him on that and bought the skimpiest one I could find. Plus some heels that I only own because of Irina, a feather duster and bright red lipstick and wavy hair, oh yes! If his brain isn't paying attention to me when I speak then at least his penis will. I took the plate of food out of the oven where I was keeping it warm and set it on the table. I scrambled to light the candle and just as I finished pouring a glass of wine Logan walked in as he was shrugging off his jacket.

"What are you…" He stopped dead in his tracks for a moment just looking me over, but then he shook his head and realized he was supposed to be mad at me. "What is all this?"

"Dinner for a very important man in my life." I pulled out the chair for him and made sure to lean over and dust it off. I felt a very hard pinch on my ass and I had to resist the urge to scream because THAT FUCKING HURT. Then smug little Logan sat down like a prince. Okay, fine, super hard pinch on the butt, fine I deserve that. I put the napkin on his lap and stood beside him watching as he stared at the food. "Steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes, corn, and a big ol' juicy steak…"

Yup, he loves steak, he loves potatoes, threw in some veggies for color.

"Why are you doing this?" He raised an eyebrow at me and leaned on his elbow on the table.

"Logan I'm sorry." I sighed and pulled a chair over to sit right in front of him. "I didn't realize how much it bothered you with people calling you fat and making fun of you. I didn't know how much it was affecting you and I didn't know me laughing at your dancing was bothering you! I just…I love you very much and I think you look absolutely perfect. There's nothing about you I would change and I feel…terrible that I made you feel bad but I wasn't laughing at how you look or your weight or shape, just the silly dance moves! You don't have to work out with me; you don't have to work out at all because you don't need to! I'm sorry Logan, can you forgive me?" I pouted at him and leaned forward grabbing his hands. Logan looked me over and shifted in his seat.

"I guess I can." He shrugged a little bit and kissed my knuckles. "Sorry I made you sleep on the couch, I was just…frustrated."

"It's fine, Alistair is fun to spoon with, very cozy." I chuckled and leaned forward to kiss him. See that, slutty outfit, good food, meaningful words, I think this marriage will work out nicely…..

OH FUCK THE SUDDEN REALIZATION THAT I AM MARRYING HIM AND I'M STUCK WITH HIM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. PANIC. PANIC. PANIC. OKAY, ALRIGHT I CAN DO THIS! I'LL JUST NEVER UPSET HIM BECAUSE WHEN I'M EIGHTY AND PUT THIS OUTFIT ON EVERYTHING WILL BE TOUCHING THE FLOOR!

"Thanks for doing this for me." He smiled and kissed me before turning to the plate of food. "Now, maid, you must feed me." Grinning and showing those dimples, ugh I could slap him but I also can't resist that cute face.

"Wow, charming." I chuckled and cut up the steak, "So what's this deal with the French maid obsession?" I asked and rather than giving him the fork full of steak and potatoes, I had the first bite. What? He asked me to feed him, did he really expect me to not feed myself, nuh uh bitch that's not how it goes.

"Uh…it's hot to me." He chuckled and took the fork from me so he could feed himself; damn he's onto my plan. "I like the outfit and the uh…-"

"OH YOU LIKE THAT MASTER SHIT DON'T YOU?" I yelled at him and pointed a finger, because well...I'm excited I figured it out. "You like that whole 'oh yes sir' thing! THAT'S WHY YOU LIKE MAIDS! Oh my god you dirty dog—"

"Shut up." He laughed and fed me. Okay, well that's one way to get me to shut up.

"I'll keep that in mind…" I smiled at him and leaned back in my seat, "Just so you know we have appointments to see a few venues next weekend for the wedding. Also we need a DJ…catering, cake—"

"Clothes." He reminded me, fuck I don't want to try on all those dresses. "I'm already going with the guys to look at suits."

"WHAT? SO SOON?!" I yelled and leaned forward.

"Babe the wedding is in the middle of May it'll come before you know it." He reminded me; oh god time flies way too soon, "Then honeymoon, then tour…"

"Wow you spend all the time in the world with me." I joked and opened my mouth to get some more of his food. "So…who's the best man?"

"All three." He shrugged and took more food, "you can't choose just one person out of them they're my brothers so uh, yeah."

"AW THAT'S SO CUTE!" I grinned and ruffled his hair, "okay so we'll uh, get that venue then we'll look at catering and cake and…clothes, fuck me sideways…Ugh do you know any good DJ's?"

"Yeah I got a guy that'll do it for me." Logan nodded and took the plate to the sink then turned around with a grin. "Come on maid, you've got some cleaning to do." He chuckled and pulled me out of my chair and pushed me upstairs towards our bedroom.

Okay, so this is rapidly becoming a reality! Before I know it I'll be married to Logan Mitchell and …and I'll be married! I'll have him all to myself FOREVER! Oh god that's so weird. What if I do something else to piss him off again and he decides to divorce me because he finally realized I'm a piece of shit but he realized it far too late? Oh my god I don't know if I'm ready for married life that requires me to be a good person all the time and I'm this crazy sarcastic asshole that likes to make fun of people!

WHAT IF HE GETS ME PREGNANT?!

OH MY GOD IF LOGAN GETS ME PREGNANT AND WE HAVE A CHILD IMAGINE THAT LITTLE KID?! IT'S EITHER GOING TO BE A LITTLE SHIT HEAD THAT LIKES TO PRANK PEOPLE LIKE LOGAN OR THIS WEIRD CHILD THAT DOESN'T SPEAK AND JUST STAYS QUIET UNTIL IT FINALLY STARTS TO BECOME AN ASSHOLE LIKE ME IN THEIR RIPE TEENAGE YEARS.

OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THIS!

Oh my god, okay I know what I'll do I'll just stop working out and I'll get really fat until I explode. Or maybe I'll….visit another dimension. Okay I'm just freaking out over nothing! JUST FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING!

"Baby, you okay?" Logan asked quietly as he started to unbutton his shirt.

"Yup totally fine!"

I DON'T THINK I'M TOTALLY FINE I NEED A DRINK! NO I NEED TEN SHOTS!


	55. Dresses and Drinking

**(**_**Sorry guys, I know my updating with this story is pretty shitty! I just…I don't know, I update this when I've got nothing else on the other stories, so sorry this one has been kicked to the curb, I hope you guys still continue to enjoy it! LOVE YOU ALL!**_

_**KISSES AND GUMMY BEARS!**_**)**

* * *

Oh man, things better work out with Logan and me as a married couple because I'm never doing or planning this shit ever again. Oh and if I have a daughter good fucking luck to her because I'm not helping one bit this shit is just off the wall too stressful. See what's stressing me out is the twins! Abby and Annie are in love with James and swear that when they are legal he will be theirs. Well, the problem is that we didn't tell the two terrors that James and Irina are dating, and I made Irina my maid of honor.

If you don't see my problem, I sigh at you.

I feared for Irina's life because those two can be the sweetest things or your worst enemy.

It would have been okay had Logan taken the time to explain to the two that James was happy and dating, or hell if even James did it but NO those two fuck tards had to pussy-out on me! So I had to keep the two sets of girls away from each other, which meant a very long and excruciating dress appointment. I had the appointment booked early solely to get dresses for the girls because Irina said if I picked one out without her she'd chainsaw my body and mail it to Logan. Yeah, I don't doubt that, and oddly enough I didn't find her threat very scary, just funny because I do that too, but I'll respect her wishes. Anyway the girls took for fucking ever to get TWO GOD DAMN DRESSES. IT'S NOT THEIR FUCKING WEDDING HOLY FUCKING SHIT I NEVER REALIZED HOW PICKY FUCKING PRE-TEEN GIRLS ARE!

I WANTED TO STRANGLE THE TWO OF THEM JESUS! UGH!

Lucky for those two their mother picked them up and took them to hang out with Logan to grab lunch before Irina showed up and MADE ME TRY ON EVERY DRESS.

EVERY GOD DAMN DRESS.

EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT WORKED THERE WANTED TO SHOOT UP THE PLACE! MY GOD!

Thankfully I picked out a dress before the overwhelming thought of smashing the champagne bottle over my head became a reality, because that was most definitely going to happen. Then after that the two of us went to Irina's house because she soon realized I was going to murder someone, so she offered to feed me and to watch movies with sexy people in them. So yes, Magic Mike is most definitely happening.

"So are you excited? You're going to marry Logan!" Irina gushed as she pulled her knees to her chest and grabbed a cookie off of the coffee table. "You're tying down the Texas Longhorn."

….HAHAHA TEXAS LONGHORN, oh boy that is not an understatement, yum.

"Oh yeah I'm totally excited! I'm going to be married to one person for the rest of my life! One person who will probably discover just how much of an asshole I can truly be and immediately want a divorce. Unless we have satanic little children, then he'll be forced to stay and just resent me even more. Let's not forget my colorful vocabulary and my filter-less mouth that will surely insult him and make him want to put my face through a glass." I finished and looked down at the empty ice cream carton in my lap, huh, that was quick.

"Wow, someone has the pre-wedding jitters." Irina snickered.

"Why would you say that?"

"Oh just for the fact that you said all of that without taking a breath and ate an entire carton of ice cream in fifteen minutes." She shrugged and took the empty carton away. "You know if Logan didn't love your fucked up ness he wouldn't have proposed."

"Yeah well…he could change his mind!" I countered and pointed at her with the spoon. "He could change his mind or realize he doesn't want commitment and just dump me and then I'll be left such a wreck I'll just stay in an apartment and gain three hundred pounds. Then I'll be like Gilbert Grape's mom, when I finally move, probably because my brother knocked a girl up or something, I'll just die right after." I told her, and even she looked at me like I was a moron.

"Yeah you need to relax." She got off of the sofa and walked over to the cabinet, coming back with a bottle of vodka. "Have that."

"Meh…I only drink when I'm seeing the twins or having dinner—"

"Oh is Alex a little bitch who can't hold her liquor?" She challenged with a smirk on her face.

"I CAN HOLD MY LIQUOR DAMN WELL!" I yelled and grabbed the bottle.

Erm, after getting halfway through that bottle I don't know what happened.

* * *

**LOGAN'S POV**

The guys and I were all just out being our usual selves….so we were racing go-karts and trying to kick each other's ass in it. I swear, Kendall's cheating, I don't know how but he is, I know it. Anyway, we had just finished another lap, watching Kendall get up and do his victory dance before shoving Carlos into a pole, then James' phone started ringing.

"You're a cheating little shit." I laughed shoving Kendall in the shoulder.

"Hey don't be jealous because you're too short to reach the peddles." He snickered and shoved me right back. Of course I was going to push him but then James had to interrupt us.

"Hey you might want to listen to this…" James was laughing and holding the phone out so we could all hear what was going on.

"You guys, I've never seen Alex trashed but this is the best thing in the world and I plan on getting her drunk more often." Irina laughed before I assume giving Alex the phone.

"HEY BITCHES!" Alex yelled into the phone…wow her voice did not sound anything like her own. "Rina and I are having a SMASHING GOOD TIME! I'm a fun drunk! WE JUMPED ON THE BED LIKE NOBODY'S AROUND! W-O-O-OAH! DO IT LIKE NOBODY'S AROUND!" She sang before Irina took the phone away from her.

"So yeah…would you guys like to pick her up since she's too drunk to even change the channel?"

"MAYBE I WANTED KOREAN TV! BITCH! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WATCH!" I could hear Alex shouting in the background."

"Yeah we'll be right over." James laughed and hung up the phone and turned to me. "Oh man, you're going home with that, good luck!"

"Hey maybe it won't be so bad…could be fun, or maybe she'll just pass right out!" I shrugged as we started to leave the place.

"You know of course we have to mess with her right?" Kendall smirked deviously.

"Yeah we've never gotten to see her drunk, so we need to see just what kind of stupid stuff she does." Carlos quickly added in agreement.

"Yeah that is weird; she holds her liquor pretty well…" I mumbled. Yeah Alex usually doesn't get wasted, she likes to remember what happens and watch other people drunkenly fall over themselves. She also liked to use that to harass people so either she lost a bet with Irina or something's bothering her.

Anyway we all got into our cars and drove to Irina's place. When she opened the door for us she quietly ushered us in, and we could all see Alex doing….what seemed to be the Single Ladies' dance.

"WELL HE LIKED IT SO HE PUT A RING ON IT! DON'T KNOW WHY!" She sang, waving her hand around and shaking her hips. With wide eyes I glanced at my friends who were all grinning and trying to hold back their laughter.

"She is fucking flawless." Irina laughed, "I gave her bottle, told her to drink her worries away and she went to town."

"Worries on what?" I frowned and Irina patted my shoulder.

"She thinks you'll have second thoughts about marrying her, her brain is …interesting." She told me before calling Alex, who turned around and grinned.

"Litos! Hola chico que tal!" She grinned kissed Carlos' forehead.

WHEN DID SHE LEARN TO SPEAK SPANISH!?

"Kendall! Mah Ken Doll! THE CHILL!" She slapped his cheek softly before pinching his nose.

….What?

"JAMES! Jimmy Jam! Irina's Christian Grey!" She punched James in the stomach lightly as though she was one of the guys and then she stood in front of me. "LOGANATOR!" She bowed dramatically, but then she stayed bent over, "oh man that's not good for my stomach."

"No vomiting on my floors!" Irina yelled out.

"Okay, let's just stand you up right." I mumbled helping her to stand straight.

"Hey Alex…" Carlos said deviously, taking his phone out to film her. As her future husband I should not be letting them take advantage of her drunken state for entertainment purposes. But…

"Sup bitch?" Alex asked.

"Can you…sing something sexy?" Kendall asked with a grin.

"With a really great interpretive dance." James added. Oh and lo and behold Alex start to sing 'Push It' by Salt N' Pepa while humping the air and later dancing around me like I was a stripper pole.

Sigh.

"Okay I think it's time to go." I picked her up making her giggle and kick her legs.

"This is the best ride ever! ONWARD DASHER!" She yelled, pointing at the door.

"Thanks for taking care of her dumb ass Irina!" I yelled out to her as I left.

"Oh believe me, it was my pleasure." She laughed as she put her phone away. Why the fuck did everyone feel the need to record her drunken adventures? Alright I guess to be fair I would have done that too! Well I loaded Alex up into the car and right as I strapped the seatbelts on her she poked my dimples and licked the top of my nose.

Um, alright.

By the time I got into the driver's seat she had her feet up on the dashboard and she was already out cold.

This is…well, I guess I'll have to talk to her about her nerves tomorrow.


	56. Quick Discussion

**(LazyLazyWriter: Awesome, glad you loved it!**

**Am4muzik: Me too, Alex sounds like a fun time! **

**AddictedToMusic18: Yeah he's never dealt with her drunk so...I think he kind of just wants to put her away until she sobers up lol**

**Emy. Elle: Wow that's a lot of laughter! **

**Thesandbar: Oh there is no doubt in my mind that there will be something abnormal with their wedding! It'll come up in a few chapters!**

**BigTimeRusher422: LOL I will!**

**DeniseDEMD: I miss this story; it feels like…a forgotten book or neglected game! Poor baby, I'll update it more often I promise! OH but you're right with that; Logan has to torture her a bit**

**Grayhap: Oh she absolutely is, I would hang with her drunk!)**

* * *

Okay it's really hard not to laugh at Alex when she's hung over. I was in the living room playing on the Xbox and I could hear her fall out of bed and yell 'fuck you floorboards'. She's…interesting, I love it. I paused the game and got up to walk to the bedroom but I could already hear her stumbling out and heading towards the stairs, "Fuck me sideways I feel like a track violently fucked my head."

"That's an attractive thought." I shook my head and jogged up the steps, because knowing her she would miss the first one and roll down the rest of the way. I picked her up and carried her down to the kitchen, "Didn't throw up?"

"Mmm nope, that's only on rollercoasters when I'm sitting next to you." She laughed and shielded her eyes in the crook of my neck. Ugh that's right she threw up on me at Disney World, charming.

"Oh god don't remind me." I muttered and sat her down on the counter while I went through the cabinets for some aspirin. When I turned around she was lying face down on the counter with her butt in the air, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to make sunlight and head pain go away." She mumbled. I shook my head and gave her the medicine and a can of coke to chase it down with.

"You know what's good for a hangover?"

"No because I never get a hangover." She growled and turned her head towards me. "What's the cure huh?"

"A nice big plate of eggs, greasy potatoes and bacon." I grinned at her and watched her jaw fall open, "Then a ride on my motorcycle."

"Is that code for sex? I'm surprisingly too tired for sex right now." she sighed and climbed off of the counter just to sit on the floor and pet Alistair.

"Fine we'll save that for tonight, but I meant going on my actual bike and taking a ride." I cracked a few eggs and threw them into the pan to scramble, watching her pout and rest her head on Alistair's stomach.

"Um fuck no that thing is dangerous as fuck."

"You drove a metal death trap that sliced your leg open!" I yelled at her and all she did was snicker and give me the middle finger.

"Hey ass-hat, you forget that the metal death trap saved my life! Don't diss my dead baby I still love him." She retorted and stuck her tongue out at me as well. Huh, so she's feeling sassy is she? I shook my head and decided I need to mess with her a bit. I reached over the counter and turned on the radio as loud as it went making Alistair howl and run away while she curled up in a ball covering her ears. After a few seconds of me laughing at her I turned it off and started to put her food on a plate. "Oh my god Logan the sounds…"

"What about the sounds?"

"They were so loud and I swear they echoed in my head." She whined and slowly stood up to sit on the stool and eat. "Thanks for breakfast, abusive."

"No problem, pansy." I kissed her cheek and stood behind her to wrap my arms around her waist. "So that was a yes to the motorcycle ride?"

"Absolutely not I am NOT getting on that metal death trap."

"Baby I can drive my motorcycle well! I only got into that accident because someone got in front of me and started to turn and I needed to avoid it! Do you really think I would risk getting you hurt or killed like that? A little trust here Alex!" I sighed took the bacon off of her plate so I could eat it. Well if she's going to think I'll kill her, then I'll have to eat some of the bacon.

"I guess not, well….I don't know, maybe if you were mad at me." She shrugged and took the bacon from my hand and shoved the rest in her mouth. I rolled my eyes and squeezed her sides before walking away from her.

"Never, I wouldn't do that, so hurry up after you eat we're going for a ride, oh and by the way?" She looked up from her meal and glanced over at me. This whole time we were in the kitchen in the dark, so I flicked the light on in the kitchen and she hissed, dropping her fork and covering her eyes.

"YOU JACKASS!"

* * *

Okay, so she may not think this ride is a good idea but so far I love it. Alex is a speed demon, she loves fast cars, she's adventurous, but when I fell off my bike she was done with motorcycles. Now she's forced to sit behind me and wrap her arms around me tightly as I ride through the PCH with my leather jacket, my sunglasses, my helmet of course…Oh man poor her, groping me and having the time of her life. To be fair, I also get to enjoy this because she's wearing a very tight leather jacket, tight jeans, and boots that I swear I'm just going to rip off of her later. A little while later I pulled the bike over off of the road. We climbed off of the bike and I swear it was like a commercial when Alex took off her helmet…

Oh yeah, things are happening tonight.

"What are we doing here?" She asked after putting the helmet down on the bike.

"We need to talk about some stuff." I shrugged casually and grabbed her hand to drag her over to some rocks to sit down. When I glanced back at her she had big eyes and looked like she had just shit her pants. When we sat down on the rock she was glancing at her rings before…hiding her hands under her thighs?

What the fuck, does she think I'm going to take the rings from her? Alright, I need to get inside her head because I would just love to know what she's thinking about half the time. "Irina said you were uh, you thought I was going to have second thoughts about marrying you?" I raised my eyebrow at her and she made a face as though she didn't know what I was talking about and slowly shook her head.

"Nope I uh, I never mentioned anything like that."

"Really? Interesting." I shrugged and leaned back on my elbows. "I just wonder why you would ever think that, you know, if you did think that."

"Well maybe because I'm off my rocker crazy and I say some of the most fucked up things and I make you feel like shit? You'll find out at some point that I'm nuts! I'll probably say more things that make you feel awful and self-conscious and just continue to laugh at you because I'm this huge prick that finds even the most fucked up things to be hilarious! Like the twins, those two little devils make me CRACK UP when they aren't stressing me the fuck out! PLUS…I'm…evil! I'm mean! I…yeah!" She crossed her arms over her chest and had this pout that reminded me of a puppy getting caught for chewing up your favorite pair of shoes, so naturally I laughed at her. "What is so funny!?"

"Do you think I don't know how awful you can be? I offered to help you to move in to your apartment the day you came to LA and you didn't even look at me. Then when we were making too much noise over in my apartment you gave me the most satanic look like you wanted to kill me. Plus you made me read fan fiction of James fucking my ass and me fucking Carlos' mouth or Kendall obliterating my mouth. I know just how sinister you can be Alex. Oh, let's not forget our back and forth pranking or the scaring of people…I know all about you!" I told her as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her so she was laying over my lap and pretty much forced to look at me.

"So why would you propose to someone like that? That sounds fucking crazy! Then what if when we're married down the line you want to leave me but we have kids that are little devils so you HAVE to stay and then you'll grow to resent me and our kids and probably take a shot gun to my face." Alex nodded at me so seriously. Holy fuck, yeah I want a free pass inside her brain because this is just unbelievable.

"You do realize I'm no prince charming either right?" I laughed at her. "I mess with people all the time, I jump out and scare people, hell you and I go back and forth bothering each other. You see me and the guys we're always messing with each other…Alex I love you, do you really think I would have proposed to you if I didn't? Or if I didn't know how…well, sinister you could be?" I asked her and she shrugged and nodded. "You're something else." I laughed and kissed her.

"So…you really…are willing to tolerate me for the rest of your life? What if I make a fat joke, or drop a baby on their head, or scare you so bad you pee in public?"

"Mm…then I'll have to get you back, and make sure to tell the baby when they get older what you did so they hit you over the head." I grinned, and finally she laughed and rolled her eyes at me!

"You're always so charming aren't you Logan?"

"Mhm…" I nodded and slowly rocked side to side while holding her. "So the guys and I have an interview next week, do you want to go and watch us?"

"Can't, I'm going to go check over the venue and finalize the little shits that need to look nice, and then I'm going to go look for some jewelry for my dress." She made the most disgusted face in the world, ah, she's so…not girly at times, and it's funny.

"You sound so happy…alright well good this means I can answer questions about you freely! I'll tell them how you beat me and make me scrub the floors for seven hours straight." I told her making her snort and shake her head.

"I dare you, I'll tell them how you like to pretend you're the boss and I'm the little French maid who messes up something in the house and you have to punish me, your fans would get a kick out of that!" She threatened with a sly grin. Oh great, telling my sex life out to the public, yeah fans…would like that actually, but I would not.

"You're evil, you know that?"

"But that's why you want to marry me!" She grinned and kissed me.


	57. Interviews and Photoshoots

**(am4muzik: Speaking of updating more, I'm on a roll today! He absolutely was a bitch about it, but she's always a bitch so it works out well**

**AddictedToMusic18: Yeah they're such jerks to each other, but it's out of love!)**

* * *

"Logan Mitchell, you're getting married! How do you feel about that?" Our interviewer Chanel asked, I shrugged and smiled, but of course before I could answer James had to put in his two cents.

"Honestly we did not think he would get married…much less be the first one tied down."

"Gee thanks for that, but no it feels…right, feels good." I nodded as I shoved James in the shoulder.

"That's great! Well congratulations to you, how do you guys feel about that? You like the girl that he's marrying? Does it feel awkward that he's…you know, marrying your guitarist?" she asked as she switched her cards around.

"Um…no I don't say it's awkward." Carlos shrugged and shook his head before glancing back at me, "They're happy so, what would be awkward about it?"

"What's awkward is when you're doing separate music with her alone and people think you two are having an affair and start to tell Logan about it." Kendall chuckled and turned to pat my leg, "Sorry buddy."

"It's fine I knew all along." I rolled my eyes and patted him on the shoulder.

"So…Rushers want to know…do you guys approve of the two of them. Why do you think she's good for him, and if she wasn't would you have stopped them?" Chanel grinned and James was the first to answer.

"If we didn't think she was good for him we would have ran her right out of the band." James nodded, "Well…maybe not, but we would have stopped that flirting pretty quickly."

"Yeah absolutely you could tell from the very beginning that they sort of had a thing for each other, but if we thought she was going to screw up our friend we uh…we have our ways." Kendall grinned deviously. Huh, I have no doubt that they would bother and prank her until she cried, although Alex probably would have murdered them in their sleep.

"Oh and um, we think she's good for him because…god…she's very similar to him it's weird." Carlos chuckled, "Logan loves to mess with people and scare the crap out of them, and Alex has that devious prankster mind set in her and…they're just awful." Carlos added with a shake of his head.

"Yeah I remember she made Logan read fan fiction…slash kind of stuff. That wasn't a prank but she did plastic wrap their bunks, set off fireworks behind us…she's a bad little girl! Thank god Logan and her never actually teamed up to prank the rest of us, although I do think we would get them back pretty badly." James nodded with a devious grin at me.

"And what about you Logan?" Chanel asked, I just shrugged and grin.

"I like her, so…that's fine with me, we get along we have fun, we're just very adventurous so we get along well. She's very confident you know? The guys say she can be cocky like me, but I like it, she does what she does and it's great! Like she got into a car accident last year, it was pretty bad and she has scars from it but she still walks around in her shorts or her skirts with confidence, she doesn't feel sorry about it at all, I can dig that." I told her, you know, I can't exactly bring up the fact that we hump like rabbits, which I happen to love very much.

"Plus when people ask she likes to say she got into a knife fight and won." James nodded with a grin on his face.

"Or that she got jumped by Jedi warriors." Carlos began to laugh.

"I was getting coffee with her and some little girl asked her why she had scars, and Alex told her she was saving a princess from a tower and had to fend off the dragon, kid thought she was a god." Kendall snorted and laughed. Yup, that's my soon to be wife.

"So how's it going to be bringing your…_wife_ on tour? Since I understand you have a tour coming up very close to your wedding?"

"I think close is an understatement on that." Carlos chuckled.

"We have our wedding in late May, pushed it back a few days to accommodate her parents—"

"They planned a vacation that week after she told them when the date was." Kendall nodded with a laugh, oh man. When they told Alex that she smashed an apple against a tree, it was a cool apple explosion.

"_Anyways_, we're cutting it close because we're having our honeymoon in Fiji, got a nice couple's package thing, going to stay for over a week and then we come right back to do some press and a show around Orlando, then LA then tour so it's…going to be stressful afterwards."

"Speaking of tour…what sort of stuff can we see?" She asked, and that was the end of the interrogation questions about my upcoming marriage. I'm surprised, and both relieved she didn't ask about pregnancy or anything. Not that Alex is pregnant but uh…yeah let's not talk about babies just yet! So we talked about the tour, we all decided to gang up on Kendall for a couple of minutes and make fun of it, then Chanel turned to the questions from the Twitter feed and of course Alex came up again.

"Who cooks at home you or Alex?" Chanel asked, everyone looked at me and rolled their eyes.

"Let's just say if Alex didn't come into the picture Logan would be eating Taco Bell every night." James snorted.

"Taco Bell? He'd be having cereal for most of his meals he's too lazy." Carlos began to laugh.

"God I hate you guys sometimes." I sighed and shook my head," Yes, Alex does most of the cooking and I have to say….it's pretty good, but I can cook meat on the grill so I can still fend for myself!"

"What's good is that she really, really likes food." Kendall nodded with a grin on his face, "So her love of food comes on tour, and by that we mean is that she has taken it upon herself to go with me and Carlos food shopping and to get even more snacks and goodies."

"Uh, I haven't gotten any of these things." James frowned.

"Neither have I!" I had to add in.

"Oh…." Kendall chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck, "Actually when you two were celebrating your anniversary she and I bought a huge basket of cookies and hid it from all of you on the bus."

"…You jerk!" Carlos shoved Kendall right off of his chair and we all started to laugh hysterically at him.

"So what kind of antics are we going to see on tour? Any pranks in the making?" Chanel asked.

"I'll tell you what, I'm taking her rings and I'm hiding them from her cause when she loses something and has to look for it she gets psycho crazy and it is damn funny." James added before glancing at me.

"You hide her rings I'll kill you." I laughed and James just grinned and shook his head.

"Nah I don't think you will!"

"Oh if you do that I so will!" I shook my head at James and he still had that devious glint in his eyes, well shit.

So the interview continued on, we said we weren't sure if this was going to be the end of the show but…hey, have to keep an open mind about things. Then we said we were definitely going on the summer tour but weren't completely sure about all of the locations, and woops on me for saying we were going to Orlando, apparently that was not allowed to be said, oh well. After our interview we all decided to go grab something to eat because later on we have to do a photo shoot.

Today we decided to go to a Mexican restaurant and we made Carlos order for every single one of us just so he could speak Spanish. Of course when the waiter walked away we made fun of Carlos' Spanish until he had enough and said he ordered chicken feet for all of us. I really hope he didn't do that. But of course fucking Kendall got a god damn quesadilla like he always does. This kid needs to EAT OTHER THINGS!

Shit.

After that we went over to our photo shoot, turns out we'll be doing an impromptu interview for that! Great! Yeah…hopefully there are no Alex questions on this. I love her and I love talking about her but I don't need to say everything, right? Just feels annoying.

"Hey idiots!" I heard a familiar voice say, I turned my head and grinned seeing Alex walk in with a tray of Starbucks drinks. "Thought you could use a pick me up, takes a lot of energy to be pretty, well at least for you guys it does."

"Wow you are so charming." James rolled his eyes and kissed her on the forehead before grabbing his drink. "What, you didn't spill some stuff all over yourself this time?"

"Shut the fuck up…" She narrowed her eyes at him and playfully kicked him in the shin before being greeted by Kendall and Carlos and giving them their drinks, when it came to mine she took a sip before giving it to me, even though she had a drink all her own. "Hey handsome, nice shirt." She commented as she tried to stick her finger up the sleeve. "Barely fits your arms! Someone's bulking up."

"Well you know…" I shrugged a bit and grinned, she's been complimenting me more often, I am not complaining about that one bit, "What's up? I'm surprised to see you here!"

"Well picking out jewelry is a very difficult thing to do so I quickly gave up on that and decided I would go look at guitars instead." She nodded, very classic Alex looking at stuff she wants rather than what she needs. "There was a Les Paul that was screaming out to me, and a Cordoba, oh my god I wanted them all." She sighed and dropped her forehead to rest on my shoulder, so naturally I hugged her close so I could feel her boobs on my chest. "Oh and I tried to get a puppy."

"What?!"

"WELL, some woman had a VERY cute pit bull puppy and it was not on a leash and it was just a baby and she was showing it off in the jewelry store. So I picked it up and I considered putting it in my bag but uh, I could get arrested for that so I didn't."

….My fiancé almost stole a dog that could kill a person.

Alright.

"Good thing you didn't huh?" I asked her and she didn't respond at all, but I did hear a yap come from her bag. Oh no, oh no she fucking stole the dog didn't she!?

"No...I bought it off of her!" She reached into the bag and pulled it out this tiny puppy that was chewing on a little bright blue ring, oh my god it's cute. It's all white with a big grey spot on its eye and grey paws, aw man… "Isn't she cute?" She held the puppy up to my face and I had to hold back my smile as I held it in only the palm of my hand.

"What's her name?"

"I figured I'd let you name her since I named Alistair." She shrugged and looked up at me, and when I looked to my right to show the guys, the photographer was standing there, I guess he was taking pictures of us the entire time, and then it was on my left side where the guys had swarmed. Oh man they are going to try to take the puppy away from me!

"I like the name Sparky—"

"Pick another fucking name." Alex growled, eesh, violent.

"Okay, how about Sox? Like she has little grey socks." I grabbed her paw and gave it a wiggle, and the puppy instantly rolled onto her back and started licking my hand, oh man I think she was meant for me.

"I like Sox, it's cute." Alex grinned and poked her belly. James couldn't even let me have my moment; he plucked her right from my hand.

"Well thanks for my new puppy you guys I'm going to just take this with me." He commented as he pulled her away, but Carlos swooped in and put the dog in his tank top so that her head and paws were hanging onto the neckline as he supported her bottom.

"Oh no thank you, see you later." Carlos nodded and started to walk away.

"Hey I didn't get a chance to steal her!" Kendall sighed and shook his head.

Alright, so I'll be married, with two dogs. All I need is about a dozen kids running around and I'll have the picture perfect family-….we're taking two dogs on tour.

Wait a minute, and James has Fox now too…

Shit. There's going to be a lot of shit on this tour.


	58. Wedding Day

**(am4muzik: See I can totally imagine her stealing that dog too and never letting it go. LOL well Kendall and his quesadillas, he just has to have them!**

**AddictedToMusic18: Aw that's so sweet, thank you! Glad you found the chapter adorable, and yeah Alex went the good route and bought it instead of stealing it, pft.)**

_**We're just going to fast forward to the wedding now….**_

* * *

"WHERE ARE MY SHOES?! MY SHOES ARE NOT HERE I CAN'T FIND THEM AND I AM NOT WALKING DOWN THAT AISLE WITHOUT SHOES! I KNOW WE PUT DOWN A WHITE PRETTY CARPET BUT NO! THERE ARE STICKS AND SHIT UNDERNEATH THAT CARPET!" I shouted as I ran around the room looking for my shoes. It was time for me to walk out but I could not find my shoes! Abby and Annie were not in the room thankfully it was just my dad and I left and oh my god my fucking shoes—.

"Alex your shoes are on your feet." He sighed and shook his head, I lifted my dressed and looked down and hey…my shoes were on my feet, haha woops…alright I'm dumb. "Come on beautiful, time to walk you down the aisle." My dad smiled and linked arms with me as he glanced at my dress before he walked out the doors. Yes, Logan got the outdoor wedding he wanted after all, and I settled on a very lovely corset dress, simple, but beautiful! Irina approved of it and she does fashion shit for a living so you know, I can't possibly look bad. I usually, okay I always have my hair up in a ponytail or a bun, so Irina said to leave it down. Turns out my hair falls down almost to my ass, so we decided to just give me some side bangs, part my hair mostly to the right and then I had nice waves falling all the way down. I feel pretty. Plus my veil was pretty hot too, tilted to the side, it looked cute.

As we neared the aisle I could see the red and pink rose petals the twins had thrown down on the ground, and that's when everyone stood up and I almost shat myself. Wow, everybody looking at you is an intimidating thing, on stage not so much, getting married, kind of.

My dad somehow knew that I was nervous; he just laughed in my ear and kissed my cheek. "We can always leave and got some steaks."

"Oh my god dad no that's awful." I whispered back as we began to walk. I finally looked up and I saw Logan's head twisted around, grinning at his three best friends who were all patting him on the back. Logan shook his head and looked down at his feet before glancing at me—oh my god is he going to cry? Oh my god Logan is holding back tears.

NO THIS MAKES ME WANT TO CRY STOP IT! STOP IT!

Oh my god Logan looks fucking dapper in his tux I think my ovaries are crying.

….Maybe I _should_ get checked out for ADD. My god I was so busy looking at the dogs that were sitting in the corner all groomed and cute that I didn't even notice my dad giving me away. He kissed my cheek and handed me off to Logan. "You look so stunning." He smiled, with glossy eyes too NO THAT'S GOING TO MAKE ME CRY! NO!

NO. I HATE TEARS FORMING!

Sigh.

Anyways, the priest was talking, he was saying some shit I don't care about, and you know…stuff from the book. I can't help it I get bored and I got distracted by staring at Logan's beautiful face. Well, when it came to the vows I finally snapped out of it because Logan cleared his throat, he must have known I wasn't paying attention.

"Alex…" He said slowly, with that little charming fucking smile on his face.

"Logan…" I mimicked raising my eyebrow at him.

"I love you, I know sometimes you may think I don't because you like to laugh at me and pull some little stunts, but that's not the case. I will always love you, when you're plotting against me or treating me like a king. I'll always take care of you no matter what, and when we're a hundred years old we'll sit on the porch with water guns, shooting all the little kids in the neighborhood because I want to grow old and grumpy with you." Logan smiled happily, clearly proud of his quirky little vow. Oh man, he knows me all too well, I don't like the super serious stuff, I can't, I just can't…I like that he joked with his.

I SWEAR I'M NOT CRYING!

"Oh…Logan you know I hate feelings." I chuckled nervously which made him laugh, and the rest of the wedding party while the people watching probably assumed I was no good. "But…I can say that I adore you and no matter what you do I will always support you. I'll tease you and make fun of you but I'll always support you! When you get a cold, fall off your motorcycle, eat too much Taco Bell of course…I'll be there to take care of you and make all the pain go away. I love you very much and I can't wait to shoot water at little kids when we're 100 years old." I smiled at him, oh god we're such fucking dorks.

Wow, and now everyone here thinks we're idiots who can't say proper vows, I'm okay with this!

Well after we did that whole ring fiasco and were pronounced husband and wife, Logan grabbed my waist, spun us around and dipped me. Is he really trying to make my ovaries combust? Because they have, they really have and everything's on fire and now I wish there wasn't a reception so I could just bang him somewhere. Maybe I'll do a bathroom quickie—No, no, I have to be classy today.

* * *

Okay, so far my favorite part about this reception is when James finally formally introduced Irina to Abby and Annie. Why is it my favorite? Well for the sheer fact that Irina knelt down between the two girls and whispered something to them that made the two of them pale and stand there in shock well after Irina had walked away. Those two girls met their match, and now I think they'll be even more grateful for me! Although now Logan might actually need to worry because I'm sure they'll be looking at other men. Although it does seem that since Carlos and Kendall are single, those two will be on their radar now. Those poor bastards.

"And now we ask that the bride takes a seat at the dance floor." I heard while I was sipping my champagne. I glanced over at my brother who I was chatting with and he just shrugged, pulling a chair out for me and forcing me to sit down.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

I was looking around wondering where Logan had run off to and I realized something, Carlos, James, and Kendall are gone too.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE GIVING ME AN ORGY ON MY WEDDING Day?—no…No Alex let's be honest, they aren't doing that….yet.

Okay, so Logan is standing in front of me wearing sunglasses and a fedora. Oh my god, okay, James, Carlos and Kendall are all standing behind him wearing a fedora. WHAT IS HAPPENING—

Fuck me.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.

THIS IS SMOOTH CRIMINAL.

THEY'RE SURPRISING ME WITH A DANCE!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Okay so around February I really got into Michael Jackson and watching those surprise wedding dance videos. The funny ones are fucking GREAT but you know I like the serious ones too. Oh my god, so Logan is doing this for me.

OH MY OVARIES.

MY OVARIES. HE'S DANCING TO SMOOTH CRIMINAL. I fucking LOVE smooth criminal I just think the beat is sexy and the dancing…um….don't judge me. I watched tutorials on how to dance this, I watch people dance it, I fucking love it. Oh my god, so Logan is starting the dance solo and the guys are slowly coming in. Holy sweet Jesus this is really spot on. AW WHEN LOGAN SETS HIS MIND TO IT HE ACTUALLY CAN DANCE AND NOT JUST SLACK OFF AND DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES.

MY OVARIES OH MY GOSH.

I can't help it, I started giggling and grinning like an absolute _maniac_ when the boys were dancing. Let's not forget the late great Michael does these dances that involve lots of hip movement, and who do I love to watch his little thrusts?

Logan Mitchell—MY NAME IS ALEX MITCHELL OH MY GOD.

Anyway, they kept on dancing, and Logan even pulled me up to dance with him, and of course what did we do? Well he pulled me flat against him and um, we both might have done a body roll once or twice, then he spun me around and it was absolutely magical. Then he just kept on doing his silly little dance moves, forgetting about the song and just thrusting around and being his amazing goofy self. So…I took his fedora and put it on my head, and he quickly spun around and picked me up, spinning me and giving the best kiss in the world.

"Oh my god you crazy fuck!" I laughed and hugged him to death. "That was amazing you did so well!" I grinned and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. "You're amazing!"

"Yeah I know." He winked at me with that stupid grin of his and let go of me. I turned around and gave each of the guys a huge hug.

"I lovingly hate you guys that was awesome!"

"Glad you liked it." Carlos smiled and gave me a squeeze.

"Yeah we saw you rockin' out while sitting in your chair." Kendall chuckled and hugged me tightly before kissing my cheek.

"Anything for you Alex, glad you enjoyed it." James gave me a bone-cracking hug. "Plus if you didn't like it we all agreed we were going to throw you into the river.

"Yeah it was decided." Carlos nodded in agreement.

"You guys are such shitheads." I laughed and shook my head, when I looked up they all had wide eyes.

"Oh my god..." Kendall mumbled.

"What?!"

"Your eyes are leaking." James smirked and I quickly wiped at my eyes.

"Tears of happiness!" Carlos clapped happily. "Yes!"

"Alright leave her alone, she can't have too many feelings in one day." Logan laughed and kissed me as he hugged me from behind.

Oh man, the rest of that night went smoothly. Abby dragged Kendall onto the dance floor, and Carlos decided he might as well take Annie out to dance too. Irina and James surprisingly did not vanish for a quickie, again, very surprised at that, and Logan and I….well let's just say that cake tasted very delicious when I licked it out of his dimple. After our amazingly fun reception, we climbed in the limo and the two of us were off to Fiji.

Oh man we are going to have SO MUCH SEX.


	59. HoneyMoon

**(AddictedToMusic18: LOL Yeah the guys are going to need to find some women or those little twins are just going to claim them as theirs forever! But who wouldn't want to eat cake out of his dimple? It makes it taste even better**

**Am4muzik: LOL can't help it, I was watching wedding dance videos on YouTube and I got inspired!**

**Emy. Elle: LOL something like that, sure, whatever your heart desires, you told them that! Hey…you saw the video, how could I NOT make the guys dance that huh?**

**SHY: It's just so…**_**them**_** with their interesting vows and promising to be grumpy together! Sweet I'm glad Alex is such a hit! She's probably my favorite**

**Thesandbar: Yeah, Alex and sweet doesn't' go together unless she's eating candy. LOL not intentionally trying to kill you, but the guys dressed up like that…well I'd bang them into next week.)**

* * *

There is just something so beautiful about waking up naked next to my husband in Fiji. Oh yeah, the fact that there's already breakfast waiting for us in the cute little dining room that this suite has. Oh man, my inner fat ass is crying and jumping for joy. Sure it's fresh fruits and stuff, not exactly fat material but there is a LOT of food, so I'm very okay with this. It would have been better if I could have breakfast naked but if someone comes knocking or whatever I don't want to have to give them a show, Logan would get jealous. Unless that got us even more food….

"I'm surprised you were able to walk to the table after last night." Logan grinned smugly as he sipped his coffee, and with the way his eyes fluttered I think he just about creamed his pajama pants.

"You give yourself way too much credit." I laughed at him which made him raise his eyebrow at me. "Alright fine whatever you give yourself enough credit, but you know I've been working out so I could handle it." I laughed at him and threw a grape at his face before glancing down at my hand. "Man does this ring sure know how to glisten in the sunlight."

"It better glisten, I actually didn't buy that out of a vending machine." He laughed and shot me a wink before inhaling most of his food in a mere matter of minutes. Wow, sex makes the appetite go crazy.

Yeah, I can't stop it, sex sex sex. It's so nice to have just uninterrupted sex, no dogs to start barking or trying to get in the room to watch.

Yeah I think Sox has a fetish.

Anyway, not on a tour bus and unable to bang…-Oh that brings me to my next point; we're going to have to go back to the quiet quickies like the last tour. Aw man, I got used to be loud and proud and stuff…Sigh, alright, I'll be able to manage. And if not, well then I guess I'll have to pay for a therapy session for the guys.

After breakfast we decided to head down to the beach, where there were already two chairs laid out for us with towels, umbrellas, and little tables for our drinks. The two of us of course are fat so we plopped down on the chairs to digest our food. I glanced over and Logan was wearing his sunglasses and staring at his iPad, so I took a picture of him and sent it to twitter with the caption 'best view in the world'.

Five minutes later he wrote the same thing, except it was a picture of his foot in the sand.

My _husband_ is a little shithead sometimes.

Well after he was done digesting his food and telling all of twitter that he wasn't actually on vacation and that he was just sitting at home playing in a sandbox, he finally put down the iPad and joined me in the water. By join of course I mean throwing himself in and splashing around. Actually he let me stand on his shoulders and was helping me to do a backflip in the water and it was pretty bad ass. Then of course that wasn't good enough so we ended up climbing a cliff and diving off of that. My husband the show off did a back flip off of the cliff and stuck his tongue out at me as he fell. He's lucky he's hot when he's being a cocky son of a bitch. After that we went and had the most amazing spa treatment. It was just absolutely amazing.

The rest of our honeymoon was filled with so much adventure. We were exploring waterfalls and these caverns! Cliff diving, finding these little pools to sit in which were so awesome! We went to the village area and then explored the jungle, oh and a candlelight dinner on the beach. Okay so that last one was an adventure but it was still absolutely amazing. They treated us like we were royalty and holy fuck; I want a honey moon every day now.

"I don't want to go back!" I whined as Logan and I lay on the beach enjoying our desserts on the final day. "I like it here. People wait on us hand and foot. Everything tastes amazing, the water is awesome and I haven't had to wear a bra this entire time because I've just had to wear bikinis and stuff on top!" I sighed and glanced over at Logan who was balancing a little blue umbrella on the tip of his nose.

"Neither do I but hey, we go right back to tour. It'll be fun and just another vacation." Logan took the umbrella off of his nose and leaned over to kiss me. "Now all that's left is to try not to kill my wife on tour."

"Oh charming, so very charming!"

* * *

"Alright you guys so this is the game plan." James said as we all stood outside in the parking lot where we were packing our belongings. Well nothing was actually packed in the bus yet; we just all had our belongings sprawled out on the concrete. James of course was cradling Fox like it was his baby, Carlos was kneeling on the ground with his brand new pup Sydney, who my gosh is beautiful, and Logan had Sox sitting at his feet while Alistair was standing by mine, but licking the hell out of Kendall's hand. "Since we now have four dogs coming on the road with us, we're going to have to split the tour busses!"

"Say it isn't so!" I faked a gasp and James gave me the middle finger.

"Anyway I was thinking because Carlos and I are the cleanest, we'll be on a bus—"

"SO I'M STUCK WITH THESE TWO!?" I growled and pointed my thumbs at Logan and Kendall. Hey don't get me wrong, obviously I love these two very much but Kendall is the messiest fuck I've ever met and Logan tends to be a lazy bastard who likes to leave wrappers EVERYWHERE. I liked when it was all four of us, I wasn't the only one cleaning!

"Well….you had to marry one of them!" James laughed.

"It's okay Alex you can come crash on our bus when you're too tired of them." Carlos stood up and leaned over to pat me on the shoulder. "But for now…it sucks to be you."

"Hey are you saying you don't want to room with us?" Kendall pouted and walked over to drape his arm around Logan's shoulders. "I thought you loved us! I know I love him." Kendall smiled and pinched Logan on the cheek, and of course Logan growled and started slapping his hand away dramatically.

"Oh believe me I do love you guys. You two are just complete slobs!" I sighed and looked down at the dogs, "You guys will keep me company right?" I asked and Alistair stood by me, but Sox moved to be with Logan which made the entire guys laugh hysterically.

"Aw that's a good girl. You love daddy don't you? Damn right you do." Logan cooed as he bent down and scratched behind her ears, giving her a kiss on her nose.

"Alright I see where your alliance has been made, no more of those dog cookies then." I threatened and she immediately ran over and jumped on me. I love her; she's so cute and chill. She's not an aggressive dog at all. All she does is eat, run around and play, and the minute you sit down she runs to cuddle you and snuggle. She needs a _lot_ of love and Logan doesn't seem to mind one bit.

Hey, maybe she's his spirit animal…

That's a thing right?

Anyway, after we got that bus situation sorted out and part of me wanted to put a bullet in my temple, we got on the busses and made sure we stocked up on junk. Kendall and I filled the candy drawer so much that it was over-flowing. Logan quickly solved that problem by grabbing a bunch of candy bars and throwing them in his bunk.

Lovely, isn't he?

Once we were off and ready to go I went to the back to relax by myself. We weren't using a full band this tour. I really was only going because we're doing an acoustic set in the middle, this saddens me because it means I can't use Scarlet….but that's okay, and she honestly needs to get some rest at home. Anyway, I spent some time in the back reading a few fan fictions, because old habits die hard right? Well Kendall walked in at the most perfect time. "OH MY GOD! Kendall get over here I need you to see this!"

"What is it?"

"Well this one is James shoving his apparently 'fat dick' up your 'tight little asshole' and you take it like a bitch." I smiled up at Kendall who looked embarrassed and awkward and…a whole mess.

"I hate you sometimes you know."

"Aw, sweetie I do know that! Now sit down and read gay smut with me." I laughed like a devil and grabbed Kendall's arm, dragging him down to see the screen. "See that? James is just pounding you over the hood of a car. Sounds hot doesn't it?"

"Do you get off on this stuff AJ?" Kendall questioned.

"Nah, I just love giving you guys disturbing thoughts."


	60. Big News!

**(am4muzik: LOL she definitely loves to traumatize people, that's so her thing even if she won't admit it. Yeah marriage won't change them, good for them because we love their attitude!**

**AddictedToMusic18: LOL she just might, maybe not the slash ones but I think she goes for the regular smut ones and has a ball with herself….That sounded weird. Hmm but you're right, she and Logan will have to team up and kick some ass.**

**Thesandbar: IDK but when you find out let me know because I would love to go! Torturing Kendall with anything could always be fun!**

**Emy. Elle: I'm sure you miss James lots! Yes you can use Alex for the smut; she could use it because the poor baby got stuck with the messy group of boys lol.)**

_*****Hello guys and gals, I now have an idea for a Carlos story. So if you love that passionate little Latino like I do, be on the lookout! *****_

* * *

ONE MONTH INTO TOUR BITCHES THIS IS FUCKING FUN!

Actually, it's been kind of dangerous! James fucked up his knee when he was pulling a stunt on the trampoline so he had to wear a bandage for a little while, now all the guys have to wear sleeves on their knees. I don't know what it is, just some black…stretching thing. Carlos doesn't have to, and I made the joke that it was because he was so short his legs weren't long enough for him to get hurt jumping. He was not happy about that, so he got me back by pushing me off stage and onto the trampoline when we were all goofing around, I bounced and rolled right off.

Logan wasn't too happy about that at first but when he saw how comical the flailing was and that I was okay, he seemed pretty fine with that.

Lovely isn't it? Ah yeah, some things just don't change, it's okay, I'll get that fucker back.

Oh and of course that tour bus has been hell. I climbed out of my bunk this morning and my foot was met by a half-eaten banana on the floor, because Kendall sleeps below me. Apparently he did not finish his banana before bed and didn't want to get up to put it away, so he left it outside the bunk. WHERE I STEPPED ON IT!

EVEN MY DOGS KNEW NOT TO EAT IT BUT MY FUCKING FOOT JUST WENT TO TOWN ON THAT THING.

DAMN IT, FUCKING DAMN IT KENDALL!

God, I might have a stroke before this tour ends, either that or Kendall isn't going to make it and the band him and I have going will not be made!

Ugh, aside from that, I've been feeling like complete shit lately. So I don't eat seafood at all, it just does not smell good. Even the smell of fish makes me gag. Carlos opened a can of tuna fish on the bus on the last tour and I ran to the bathroom to puke, it just disgusts me completely. Well the guys tried to make me more tolerant of seafood, so uh, I tried some of Logan's shrimp and James let me try a piece of his red snapper when we went out to dinner a day or two ago. Let's just say that they did not sit well with me. I was already starting to come down with something, and that fish has just….wow. I have not stopped puking. I almost threw up on stage yesterday, the heat was totally getting to me and then I started to remember the fish…

Things were not doing well in that instance.

The heat is just not my friend. For most of this tour I feel light headed when I get on stage. Bright lights and humid, 100 degree weather is not my friend. Can't imagine why.

Well today as usual we're on stage doing the acoustic set in the middle of the show. Well halfway through I started to feel _sick_ like I feel like I'm just about to pass out, but I went through it. No one can see me anyway since I'm in the background so I'm pretty good for now. Although, I did get Logan nervous when I got off the stage. I had jumped off of the riser I was on, not that big of a jump, but when I did my knees buckled and I smacked the guitar hard on the ground as I fell to my knees. The boys had turned around to help push the chairs off stage and Carlos was the one that saw me first and ran over to help me up.

"Are you okay?" He mouthed and I quickly nodded as I stood up. Logan rushed over and took the guitar away from me.

"What's the matter AJ what's going on?" he frowned but I shook my head and took the guitar back.

"Lights are too bright, I'm fine." I shook my head and kissed his cheek. "Finish the show you only have four songs left!" I told him as I squeezed his hand. One of the managers came on stage and helped me off. I handed him the guitar and realized I broke the fret board and completely cracked the back of the guitar.

Well shit thank god it's not Scarlet!

God, my clumsy fucking ass probably just landed the wrong way when I fell.

AW SHIT I WAS DOING SO WELL I HADN'T FALLEN ON STAGE YET ALL TOUR—NOT FROM MY OWN FAULT ANYWAY.

FUCK ME!

When the boys got off stage Logan ran right over to me, because I stood there walking back and forth the entire time. "Hey what happened with that fall? Are you okay?"

"Logan really stop over-reacting." I laughed while ignoring the _pounding_ headache I had, "I stepped wrong when I jumped off the riser, that's all!"

"Wow talk about clumsy." Kendall shook his head and squeezed my shoulder, "We thought you died!"

"Yeah then we thought we were going to have to carry your dead body off of the stage. Ugh how annoying would that have been?" James chuckled and ruffled my hair as he walked past me and threw off his baseball cap as he went to the dressing room to get changed. Logan wrapped his arm around me tightly and kissed my temple. I guess being smothered by him and his body heat was the final straw, because my knees buckled again and I nearly hit the floor had Logan not been holding me. Alright, having been unconscious in the past, I know I am fully conscious now my uh, my vision just blacked out.

"AJ! Guys a little help here!" Logan called out, and yeah that would be around the point where I fainted.

* * *

I DON'T LIKE HOSPITALS.

I FAINTED, I DIDN'T DIE OR GET SHOT BETWEEN THE EYES WHY ON EARTH DID THEY HAVE TO BE PARANOID PEOPLE AND TAKE ME TO A HOSPITAL? FUCKING SHIT.

I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING—

"Mrs. Mitchell?" I looked over at the doctor who apparently did not want to let Logan into the room with me as he told me what was wrong with me. This is obviously nothing because I'm in perfect health.

"Yes?"

"Well from what I've gathered it seems you fainted from lack of dehydration, and you're greatly lacking in the nutrients your body needs."

Okay so maybe I eat like shit.

"Alright so I'll just pop some vitamins and go." I shrugged and stood up but the doctor stopped me.

"I also ran a few more tests to see which vitamin I wanted to prescribe you, and I've found out that you are pregnant."

Oh fuck me sideways.

OH GOD

OH MY GOD SATAN IS IN MY UTERUS!

AND HE'S KILLING ME BY TAKING MY NUTRIENTS FROM ME!

"This could explain why you've been fainting. You're going to need to drink a _lot_ more water and change your diet. You'll need to eat much healthier to give your baby the proper nutrients; I'm also going to prescribe some pre-natal vitamins. I recommend staying out of the heat as much as possible for now, I understand you're performing, that's fine, just make sure you stay in a cool environment when you're not on stage." The doctor continued scribbling some shit down while I just zoned out. Well shit now I _have_ to eat Kendall's food, he buys all that organic and healthy garbage.

AW MAN LOGAN AND I CAN'T GO ON OUR LATE NIGHT MCDONALD'S BINGES UNLESS I GET A FUCKING SALAD OR SOMETHING.

AW PREGNANCY SUCKS DICK.

The doctor left and Logan walked in and by the looks of it, I think he might have shit his pants. Well not really but he looked nervous. "So? What is it? What happened?"

"Eh." I shrugged and handed him the prescription the doctor gave me. It's not like I know how to tell someone I'm baring their child! So…I let the paper do it.

"Prescription, no problem. Okay this is for….pre-natal vitamins?" His face scrunched up in confusion before looking at my belly then the paper then at me. "Oh my god…are you…?" He asked and when I nodded he threw the paper up in the air and grabbed a hold of me, twirling me around before planting a kiss on my lips.

Holy shit he's excited. Am I the only one here ready to shit myself thinking I'm carrying the spawn of Satan?

"You're pregnant! Oh man you're carrying my little girl!"

UH EXCUSE ME YOUR LITTLE GIRL? NO MOTHERFUCKER I WANT A BOY FIRST.

"I can't wait to tell the guys!" Logan grinned and kissed me before picking up the prescription and dragging me out by the hand. "God this is incredible! I had a feeling when you were throwing up so much but I wasn't sure because I know you throw up with fish anyway….This is great, aren't you excited? Are you okay to be on stage?"

"Yea the doctor cleared me, I'm okay to perform. I just have to eat actual healthy crap and stay in air conditioning for a while when I can." I sighed and shrugged.

Man I thought I'd have more time to do stupid stuff.

I'm clumsy too, shit this could be a problem. Well I'm not that clumsy, oh well. When we got out of the hospital Logan walked a few blocks down to the pharmacy. I was going to ask how the hell he knew where that was but that's where all the tour busses were parked because the lot is huge…so I guess that was a convenient one. We got my medicine and climbed back onto the bus where the guys were waiting, even James and Carlos were waiting on our pig sty of a bus. Aw people care!

"Hey how'd it go?" James asked quietly.

"Yeah, did they say Satan was taking over your body?" Kendall joked, oh man, Satan is taking over alright.

"I uh…." I chewed on my lip and glanced over at Logan who was just beaming.

"We're going to have a baby!" Logan grinned and threw my vitamins across the counter. Great, that's always helpful. I think all of the guys just about shit their pants. Their mouths were hanging open, they were completely still. Carlos was the first one to get up and give us both a hug.

"Congratulations!" He beamed and moved over so Kendall could squish the both of us.

"Wow I thought you would have gotten her pregnant a long time ago." He teased.

"Oh man, the spawn of Satan is in your uterus." James chuckled and hugged me before hugging Logan. "Good luck with that."

DON'T SAY THAT JAMES GOD DAMN IT NOW I'M GOING TO START FREAKING OUT FOR THIS BABY I ALREADY FEEL LIKE AN UNFIT MOTHER AND I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT AN HOUR AGO!

"Wow, thanks James you always have the right words to say." I rolled my eyes at him.

Okay, pregnant on tour, I can do this. I can so do this.


	61. Beginning of War

**(am4muzik: Isn't he just so adorable though? I don't know how Alex will handle it, she's…special as it is. I don't know who I feel bad for, the baby or Logan lol**

**DeniseDEMD: Yeah, Alex is special at it is! Now with a bonus of being pregnant the boys will really love her…maybe lol**

**SHY: Oh god you're absolutely right. The two of them are going to have so much fun dealing with that little teenager**

**Thesandbar: Yeah he was really happy, good for Logan! Although he won't be happy further into the pregnancy when he deals with her lmao**

**IHEARTROCK: Either way their children are going to be special**

**AddictedToMusic18: LOL the slobs being more clean? Nah that will never happen lmao I don't think they can put in the effort even if they tried**

**Emy. Elle: You absolutely did give her the conception of a lifetime! THANK YOU by the way that was awesome!**

**Grayhap: I think so too that would be so adorable!)**

_**Now before I forget, the ever so lovely **__**Emy. Elle**__** wrote a one-shot because I don't do smut! Strike A Note Chapter 58 point 5! So yeah if you've ever wanted to see Logan and Alex get it on, you should read that and leave her a nice little review because it was pretty damn sexy.**_

* * *

"Logan I swear to god if you leave me alone on this earth with our unborn child I am going to raise you out of hell, or pull you down from heaven wherever the fuck it is you're going to go. Then I'm going to _murder_ you all over again." I threatened with my arms crossed over my chest. Logie-Bear seems to think it's cute to try _NEW STUNTS_ on the trampoline.

I DON'T LIKE THAT.

Sure I'm adventurous and I'm all for trying stuff but THE GUYS HAVE ALL BEEN GETTING HURT ON THAT THING AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO BE ADVENTUROUS?! NO THAT'S NOT OKAY HE'S GOING TO SNAP HIS NECK AND FOR A GOOD TWO SECONDS I'M GOING TO POINT AND LAUGH AT HIM AND FEEL NO REMORSE!

_Then_ I'll cry and go crazy.

"Baby it's just some new stuff for the concerts, relax!" he chuckled and jumped off of the stage and onto the trampoline where he did a backflip and landed on his feet, but as soon as he did so he screamed and fell on the floor holding his ankle. "SHIT MY ANKLE!"

"OH MY GOD I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!"I yelled and ran over to Logan. When I knelt down in front of him, with the rest of the crew around us he just started grinning like an idiot. "You little shit head, you're lying aren't you?"

"I might be yanking your chain." He licked his lips and grinned at me. Oh this mother fucker thinks he's cute giving me a heart attack, does he? OH no, he is not cute. Okay well maybe he is but still that's not okay.

"Oh I'm going to yank your chain right off and shove it down your throat!" I yelled and jumped to my feet to chase after him, because as soon as I started talking he got up and took off. "GET BACK HERE LOGAN MITCHELL!"

"MAKE ME MRS. MITCHELL!" Logan yelled back at me and I had to stop running and just giggle to myself. I forget that I'm Mrs. Mitchell now, kind of like when I forget what year we're in. Ha that's so awesome—WAIT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE CHASING HIM!

"Logan!" I yelled and ran after him, even shoving Kendall out of the way because let's face it; it's not my fault Kendall just stands there and blocks the way. I saw Logan turn a corner and I turned that same corner and ran right back to where I came from. "NO YOU DON'T PUT THAT DOWN IT CAN KILL YOUR FUTURE CHILD!"

"Silly string will not kill the baby AJ!" Logan laughed and ran after me with two cans. No way am I letting him win by getting me with silly string, so I need to outrun that motherfucker and hide. I ran into some random room and it happened to be where Carlos and James were working out. I slammed the door shut behind me and locked it, smiling innocently at the two of them.

"Oh god this is the start of a bad porno flick." James sighed and wiped the sweat that was dripping down his neck with a towel. Aw man, I wanted to say that! Ugh, spending too much time with James, he's taking all my good lines.

"No it's not but Logan wants to hit me with silly string after giving me a heart attack and I'm trying to play the baby sympathy card but it's not working." I pouted at them while holding my tummy. See, the really good thing about getting knocked up was the fact that they're all just a bit nicer to me.

Except for Logan, but he's my little shit.

"Ah….want to know a good way of getting back at Logan?" Carlos grinned. Oh that's right I can count on Carlos to be a devious little shit too...

"Obviously!"

"Mood swings _freak_ him out." Carlos nodded and now James was grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh yeah he said he's afraid for when your mood swings kick in because he doesn't know how to handle them. So just pretend you're having mood swings, but exaggerate them and be super crazy." James nodded quickly.

"Oh I can absolutely do that." I grinned and jumped away from the door when I heard knocking.

"Open the door AJ!" I could hear Logan yell, "It's only me….and some string!" With wide eyes I looked back at the guys. James ushered me over to him with open arms while Carlos ran over to the door. AS soon as I felt James hug me I started to 'cry' hysterically just as Carlos opened the door. "Thanks Los—oh my god AJ why are you crying?" I could hear Logan drop the cans of silly string and run over to me, instead of me having to answer James did it for me.

"Yeah he's having a moment here. See she feels that you hate her and don't love her and just want to violently murder her and your unborn child." James nodded while rubbing my back. Aw man, James is such a good actor—oh that's…right he does that for a living. Huh, go figure!

"Shit…baby I don't hate you I love you I don't want to kill you—"

"BABY I LOVE YOU TOO!"I yelled and broke out of James' grasps and flung my arms around Logan to hug him to death. "You're the best husband ever!"

"Uh….thank…you…." Logan muttered and I could just feel how hesitant he was at hugging me, and it was awesome.

"So I think since you're the best husband ever we should get a little frisky." I pulled away and winked at him, yanking on the collar of his tank top to pull him close and bite his lips.

"Sounds like a good idea Alex but there are people here…" He chuckled at me a bit and held my waist to keep me from climbing over him. So I decided to get really angry at him. I shoved him away and tried to make myself cry but that wasn't working, so I'll just have to stick to anger.

"SO NOW I'M NOT ATTRACTIVE BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT? I HAVEN'T BLOWN UP LIKE A WHALE YET LOGAN MITCHELL I HATE YOU!"I shoved him back and stormed past him out of the room. A few seconds later I returned and hid against the wall to try and listen in on them.

"Oh my god is that what her mood swings are going to be like? I'll have to…deal with that for nine months?" I could hear Logan sigh and even sit on the ground. I poked my head in just a bit and James was trying to hide a smile while Carlos knelt down beside him.

"Hey you'll be alright dude, you two love each other it's all good!" He told him.

"Yeah besides if you just stay quiet and do her bidding she probably won't go on a hormonal rampage and kill you." James added, patting Logan on the back.

Oh my gosh, I love my boys.

* * *

"You know once Logan finds out what you guys did he's going to get his revenge, right?" Kendall asked while tuning his guitar. The two of us were chilling by catering. Kendall was going to pig out with me just because I felt like it but the mother fucker guilted me into pigging out on apples.

God damn him for being so health consciously wonderful.

"You know? Logan messes with me all the time. AND he messes with you guys a lot so I think I was just doing a public service." I shrugged and strummed a few times on the guitar, nope that G string is still flat. Ha….G string.

"True…but Logan doesn't like to get messed with, so he's definitely going to get you back. And I feel I'm kind of obligated to side with him." Kendall shrugged and looked away from me.

Aw shit Kendall's going to betray me!

"Aw come on now why would you do that? It's you and me man, making music on the side! The Chill, remember? Or well I guess we're still un-named but—"

"Well you did shove me violently out the way today." Kendall sighed dramatically and leaned on his elbow, he had a smirk on his face, that motherfucker.

"But that's because I was running for my life, you have to understand!" I pleaded but he just shook his head.

"And you have to understand… I have to side with my brother." Kendall smirked and tapped the table twice. Alright why the fuck is he tapping the table?

OH MY GOD NO!

Logan slid out from under the table and sprayed me with the two cans of silly string. Two full cans of silly string. I'm absolutely going to do something and get back at him.

"Logan Mitchell." I growled and stood up, ripping the strong from my body. "If its war you wanted on tour, then it's a war you're going to get!" I threatened and threw the globs at him, "And you Kendall….oh you better watch where you sleep tonight." I warned and started to step back.

Well fine then. They're both going to die at the hands of Alex Jones Mitchell.


	62. So it Begins

_**Hi people! Uh, I'm really tired and don't feel like writing too much so I'm not going to answer reviews, so sorry about that, and please don't stab me! Now I'm off to nap and play video games, not at the same time though.**_

* * *

"Hey guys this is Big Time Rush and you're in our tour bus!" We all announced right in front of the bus I share with Kendall and Alex. We have a camera guy here to follow us around for a little while and see what it's like backstage on tour.

"Well actually you're outside the bus, and this is Logan, Kendall, and Alex's bus, but yeah let's go inside!" James grinned at the camera before yanking the door open and jogging inside. "I don't know why you guys want to see the disgusting bus but whatever." He shrugged and stood off to the side.

"This is the bus of pranks and clutter!" Carlos announced and gestured to the counter where there were food wrappers and bottles strewn about. "Seriously how does that not drive you crazy?"

"Well Alex usually cleans up after us now." Kendall laughed and picked up a bottle. "But um, yeah she's plotting against us so that hasn't been getting done."

"We're in a very serious prank war right now. Me and Kendall versus her." I nodded and used said bottle to smack Kendall in the stomach. "We're going to win."

"Actually….I might help her." Carlos chuckled and grabbed a container of cookies off of the counter. Oh he's going to regret that, Alex bought those all for herself. Eh…I'll let her deal with him later; the more important part is that Carlos is helping her go against us! "I feel bad dude she's pregnant you have to be nice!"

"See that's how she manipulates you, with her pregnancy, lame." I shook my head and opened the refrigerator. "As you can see there's food here. You see that container of brown crap? Yeah it tastes just like that too."

"It does not taste like crap it's a flax seed and oat pudding with raisins and—"

"It's crap, looks like it and tastes like it." I shrugged and moved to the back of the bus with the guys. In the back Alistair and Sox were lying next to each other and sleeping on the sofa.

"Those are Logan's doggies Sox and Alistair. Alistair is definitely a momma's boy." James nodded and sat down to rub his belly.

"Yeah Sox is a daddy's girl she adores Logan." Carlos added while eating another cookie. I nodded and just said 'yeah' quietly, but even that was enough to make Sox realize I was there. She got right up and stumbled off of the sofa before walking over and standing up to lick and hug me. "See that? ALL over him!"

"Ladies just can't help themselves." I laughed and pet her belly before she jumped back over to the sofa. "Alright let's head out, we'll show you Kendall's disgusting bunk on the way!"

"It's not disgusting." Kendall looked between me and the camera, "It just has a bunch of stuff in it."

"Slob." James laughed as he pushed him out of the back. Right as Kendall and I bent down to push back the curtain on his back I heard a shrill screaming from behind me and something grabbed my back. Kendall and I jumped; he even smacked his head into the wood of the bunk. I turned around and saw AJ hanging halfway out the bunk laughing hysterically, getting a high five from both James and Carlos! "Nicely done AJ, very nicely done."

"You were in on that?" Kendall whined as he rubbed the back of his head, "Oh man I think I gave myself a concussion."

"Eh, she warned us about it. Since you two joined forces Alex has crossed over to the dark side." James grinned and patted her on the head after Carlos helped her out of the bunk.

"Yup I love you but I have to prank you!" She leaned in to kiss my check and then turned to the side, "Oh Cameras…right…bye!" She waved and ran away, leaving us to do the rest of our behind the scenes tour by ourselves.

"I'm going to get you guys, you know that right?" I glanced at the two of them who looked at each other and shrugged.

"We'd like to see you try!" Carlos grinned and crossed his arms over his chest. Oh man, challenge accepted Los you're going down.

* * *

**Alex's POV**

Oh man I am an evil little shit for scaring the boys, but you know Kendall decided to go against me and team up with Logan. That's his mistake because I'm the one that's cleaning up his crap that's strewn about the bus, so good luck with that now. Next time I'm putting rotten food in his bunk. Now I have Carlos with me, who is awesome at pranks and James who is big and scary! IT'S LIKE I HAVE THE FUCKING DREAM TEAM OF JERKS OVER HERE IT'S BEAUTIFUL! Oh man, but seriously it's their fault for not checking the bunks beforehand. I thought I was going to get busted but thankfully they went right to Kendall's, idiots.

Ah, with all this prank war business going on I have yet to tell my family that I'm pregnant, and uh, well Logan's family is going down to Florida for a show soon so we're going to tell them when we seem them but uh….yeah that's going to be fun. I'm just hoping my brother doesn't punch me in the stomach again like last time, I guess I'll have to be nice for the first few minutes then to ensure my baby's safety. He….er…she…well, it better be fucking grateful for that!

Anyway while the guys are off doing their meet and greet pictures, I'm sitting in the shade watching them and trying to take a nap. Okay so technically I shouldn't be outside but there's shade here and I put a frozen water bottle down the back of my shirt so it's all good, I'm cool and I have nice cold water seeping down to my ass!

Ugh I do wish we weren't doing this prank war though, that requires a lot of effort and I spent a lot of effort planning that wedding; I'm supposed to be done on effort for the next ten years! Now I have to plan how I'm going to terrorize them and make them cry, whatever…

Anyway, I had put my head down on the table and my eyes were closed and I was definitely going to have a good nap but I heard a fucking horn in my ear and I got so scared I flew out of my chair and landed on my butt. Pouting I looked up just in time to see Logan laughing hunched over. That little shit… Well he helped me up and kissed my cheek before running off to take pictures, but that does not make up for it. I went back inside the venue and began to plot. I happen to know that we have a confetti launcher somewhere back there—no they won't let me stuff it with rotten food that will mess up the machine, fuck.

Instead of taking one of the confetti guns I decided to do something a little bit more subtle. After I was done with my deed I sat in the dressing room and texted James to make sure Kendall and Logan walked in the room before they did. Finally after waiting for an hour for those fuckers the door opened and in stepped dumb and dumber. I pulled the rope I was holding onto and a bucket of water and chocolate syrup fell all over them.

"Alex this is gross!" Logan whined, "We have a show in an hour and I'm covered in chocolate syrup!"

"I just hit my head a second time!" Kendall whined kicking the bucket away from him and I laughed at the two of them, along with James and Carlos who were snickering in the background.

"Alright I'm sorry princesses', come here and get some towels." I held up two fluffy white towels for them. All it took was two steps for them to trip and fall on their backs as they hit the floor painfully hard. Oh yes, I might have spilled some baby oil on the floor to make them fall…

"THAT'S A THIRD TIME!" Kendall yelled from the floor, "I officially have brain damage!"

"Dude you've always had brain damage." James snickered and leaned on the door frame. "Wow what a pretty sight, it looks like the two of you were making love in a bath of chocolate."

"I think that's the only type of love Logan's been getting since the prank war started." Carlos laughed and put his arm on James' shoulder, which is always hilarious when he does that because he's so short.

"Fuck you guys I got action this morning!" Logan yelled and sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Actually Logan that was you having a wet dream, Kendall and I felt awkward listening to that and we left the bunks." I told him, which made everyone crack up hysterically.

"Wait why were _you_ uncomfortable?" Logan asked me and I shrugged.

"Because then I would get horny and try to bang you in the bunk and you don't deserve that yet because we're in the middle of a war. You can get some action after I win that will have to be your peace offering to me."

"So….does that mean Kendall has to give you that same peace offering and they have to do that to Carlos and me? Because we really don't swing that way." James asked with a smirk on his face. I laughed but everyone else groaned in annoyance. "What? It's a simple question!"


End file.
